A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would really like to stay a virgin until I'm married but it doesn't seem like there are any virgin girls left so whats the point? The whole chastity thing really doesn't work unless both people are in on it. It's all just really irritating 22 years of chastity for nothing.:( Seems like I just screwed my self out of some of the best years of sex I ever could of had T_T. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Konya  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 You don't have to go to the church to find virgin girls there is virgin girls every where just belive in your self and your choise of staying virgin and am sur u will find her the girl who is just like you.
A
female
reader, [email address blocked] +, writes (4 July 2010):
Hey I'm 18 and still a virgin and I plan to stay that way until marriage. I am proud of my decision and I know that it's not right for everyone but for me it just makes sense. And I know it might seem impossible at times; I know how it feels to be with friends and the conversation is about sex and you just want to be like check please haha but when your turn finally comes you will know it's right in your heart. So don't give up, love is patient you will find that special someone who has been waiting for you. I also want to thank you because what you're doing is a beautiful thing it shows that you not only respect yourself but you respect women. God bless you it's people like you that still give me hope in men.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2010): I am 19 and am a virgin, I want to stay that way until marriage. My boyfriend and i have been dating now for 2 years and are talking of getting married in a little over a year. He also wants to be a virgin so that really helps but doesn't make it any easier. so If you keep your virginity it just shows your partner when you got married that you are able to have self control and saved that for them. I want to be able to give my someday husband the gift of my virginity on my wedding night. I just pray that I can wait that long.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): I am 30 years old young man, i am still a virgin.please virgin is a honour, choosing to remain a virgin till marriage is a bold and good decision to make,it earns you self value , respect,high level of discipline and self control.and i am praying to God to give me a virgin woman as a wife to live a guilty free life.leave those Canaveral many of then i regretting for loosing their virginity because they are like a public toilet where every body we come and drop.please be thankful to God for the grace giving to you in retaining your virginity to date.write now i am working on a book about importance of virgin.remember this, people don't appreciate what they have until they loose it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): You know sometimes I think the exact same thing. Went on a date the other day and he was talking about his addictions to sex. I kept my mouth shut. I'm a 24 year old woman...and a virgin. Yes sometimes it is difficult and frustrating when you get together with people who have lost their virginity...then I have to cross them off my list. But think of it this way. That girl that you are looking for..she is out there and she has been saving herself for you. Never do I give in because I know that the guy I want to be with is going to stick it out...he's going to have patience. The pond will grow smaller and we will find one another. Do not give up!! You will kick yourself when you do meet that virgin lady and you gave it up cause you thought you were missing out on something. That would be a real waste.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010):
Keeping virginity has a standard for YOURSELF (and not anyone else) is all well and good advice.
But nobody is telling that to teenage boys when virginity is discussed.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010): I am a 29 year old virgin, and am waiting for marriage for religious and personal reasons. I know very well that the man I marry will not be a virgin. That doesn't really bother me, because by waiting I am staying true to MY values. For me, that's the point. I realize that not everyone has the same upbringing and beliefs that I do, so I'm not going to be jealous that he's had a bunch of sex and I haven't. I'm going to be happy with the fact that I'm only going to be with him, and that's exactly how I want it.
You have to decide why you are waiting, and if it's really that important to you. If you really want to wait, you can do it-for yourself, for your religion, for whatever. This kind of decision isn't about your future spouse, because you have no control over their past. Do what you will feel good about in the end.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010):
It's a double standard.
Virginity is sacred when teenage girls are using it as a bargaining chip to get a man.
But prizing virginity is just "old fashioned chauvanism and insecurity" when it might cost them someone a few years later.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 It really depends whether you're doing this for religious reasons or for your own idealistic moral reasons. I wouldn't count on finding a virgin to marry, you could be closing off the perfect partner for you, just because they've had sex and you haven't. Keep an open mind, but don't give up your virginity just for the hell of it.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (13 March 2010):
You will so regret sacrificing your ideals because of what everyone around you is up to. I got married as a virgin but although my marriage ended, I still didn't regret my decision. Promiscuous sex will leave you unsatisfied and empty. Why don't you try online dating? I just googled and saw a virginsdating.com site and I'm sure there are others where you can meet other girls with similar values. If you are Christian then look up christiandating and maybe mention in your profile that you are looking for a virgin like you are. I also don't condemn those who choose not to wait but in my experience, delayed gratification leaves you more fulfilled when it finally happens. All the best.
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female
reader, natnatxxx  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 It seems like your a looking back and regretting your choice. But you shouldn't if you believe that sex should be special and for only once married. Then keep to this path if you believe in it. However if your starting to look on the downfalls of it, and dont think theres much point in going through with it then whats the point in keeping it going? You only live once. So make the choices you want to make. Follow beliefs that you choose. If you think remaining a virgin is the best option. Keep going forth with it. And if you think that theres no point, well you no theres no time for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): HEllo there,
I am a virgin. I am 24 years old and I am a girl. TRust me, we are out there.
I do understand hwo you feel though. All my boyfriends have been with multiple partners and sometimes it feels like what is the point of waiting for someone who...but I think in the long run it will be worth it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): Everyone, let's drop the P.C. ideals and get a few basics straight:
1. Most volutary male virgins aren't doing it for their love of God, their respect for the institution of marriage, or any of that other high-minded stuff. They're doing it because they wanna marry a virgin woman and they feel their own virginity is their morally-obligated duty to earn it.
2. The ones that aren't doing it exclusively for the virgin wife, are also partly worried about STDs and pregnancies. The number of male virgins that really do it just to please God or some totally internal code morality is pretty small.
3. If the future wife had extramarital sex before they got together, then most voluntary male virgins WILL feel that their virginity has been essentially a complete waste. Often it turns out to be one of the biggest regrets of their life. He didn't get to share sex with one special person because her exes were already along for the ride. And he didn't even get a 100% avoidance of STD risks either.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 There are pro's and con's of being a virgin.
On the plus side, girls may want to sleep with you because you are not a player and there is no risk of STD's or the girl's inexperience.
That you are a moral and religious person who can overcome your sexual urges and make a better husband.
If you think being virgin is not a big thing, then forget about being a virgin. Whether you are a virgin or not , you are still the same you ,only with a bit of more experience.
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male
reader, Kenj +, writes (13 March 2010):
 There are a lot of women who share your view. You have your own reasons and good on you for that. Never give in just because its what other people seem to be doing.
You are the captain of your own ship, dont crash it.
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (13 March 2010):
 I'm a 26 year old virgin thinking the same thing, but actually, when I think about it, I realize that I know several girls in my area that are virgins. And where there are some, there are bound to be more.
You might not see them, but that's because they aren't flaunting their sexuality like other girls do. Keep waiting and trusting. You'll find one.
And even if the woman you eventually fall in love with and marry ISN'T one, you'll still be glad that you kept to your ideals.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): You are brave to stick to your values. You should.
However, Virginity is not highly prized as it once was, and for good reason. Religion and social custom was the only reason it even existed and the only reason we ever thought it was needed.
As religion has generally no power in this Information age, and age of knowledge, the need for people to adhere to such arcane practices have declined.
If it means so deeply to you. Stick to your guns. But know that there is no real reason anymore to wait until marriage. We are not in 1950.
I'm not saying go out there and shag anything with a pulse, I have no issues with casual sex (as the previous poster so frigidly does) however I do agree that sex is best when done with someone you love. There is a reason modern people can so easily discern between 'Making Love' and run of the mill 'sex'.
Casual sex does not cheapen the act. It never has and never will. It is no substitute for making love to someone you are very much in love with. All it does is provide a different path to the same location.
Like it or not, sex is a massive part of any relationship. And the only way you can know if you are sexually compatible with someone is to have sex. You can't guess. You can't surmise.
Having sex, or masturbating, is also the only possible way you can know how you are sexually pleased... and you need to know how to push your buttons so you can give this information to your lover.
So yes. Save yourself for love. The first time NEEDS to be full of that. And there is too little love in this world.
But don't judge anyone on their not being a virgin. Virginity is not a point by which most people base their personalities.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (13 March 2010):
 I feel your pain!!
I'm a bit older than you, but I'm experiencing the same frustrations. However, the key word is, "it doesn't SEEM like..." Things aren't always what they seem. It should be heartening that I'm a bit older than you and I'm saving sex. There are bound to be people younger than I am who feel the same way.
I was raised strict, Southern Baptist and there are some things about my faith I question, but I believe in chastity. I'm not saving sex for marriage but I am certainly NOT going to have sex with just anyone either. I've lived in three different countries, but it seems to be the same the world over; everyone just has sex with everyone.
I'd like to have a boyfriend but I feel frustrated because it seems like everyone just wants to fuck like hedgehogs. No emotions, no commitment, no love.
I'm open minded; I wouldn't condemn someone just for having sex out of marriage, nor would I condemn someone with gay (it's totally okay to be gay!).
What does disgust me is how sex looked upon as a form of recreation. I feel like this cheapens sex; when you meet the love of your life, and you've had all this sex... what's left for the love of your life? I feel that you should at least save it for someone that you love.
Don't give up just yet; you may be surprised.
Where are you going to meet girls, by the way?
If I may ask, are you religious? Like I said, I'm Southern Baptist and still try to adhere to Christian values. I'm open minded and I don't agree with a lot of people at my church I grew up in (we all have a right to our opinions) but I do believe that it's wrong to have casual sex.
The reason I ask is that maybe you could meet someone at a church with similar values. Go to youth groups or InterVarsity at college... it's a really good place to meet people.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010): You can't stay a virgin hoping for only virgins. That has to be your decision. If you only want to sleep with virgins, you will have talked yourself out of many years of sex anyway, not to mention many great girls who automatically don't fit the bill.
I kept my virginity until my late 20s. But marriage did not happen - you cannot get to just anyone because you want to have sex. When I finally met the man, he was older. And while we both thought that this was forever... we are not married yet, may not, who knows. I slept with him. The only reason I have no hassles is because my virginity was my decision. And it was not tied up to getting married but being with someone special who does not take being intimate very casually.
So while you may decide to stay away from promiscuous girls, you may want review wanting a virgin as a precondition.
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