A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having a predicament. I was with "Joe" for 8 years. We met when we were 17 and just broke up a few weeks ago. During the past 8 years I have been very close with his family, in fact I am closer to them than he is. I still hang out with his step-siblings, his step-sister is one of my best friends. About 5 years ago his step-brother, "Stephen" started e-mailing me. At first it was just random stuff and then it turned into something completely unexpected. I always thought "Stephen" was very good looking and a very nice guy, but obviously I didn't go too far with that because he his Joes brother. Well LONG story short, Stephen and I ended up hooking up a few times. We would sneak off together and makeout and it was AMAZING!!!! I always thought it was so good just because it was forbidden and new.Stephen is dating my old best friend "Maria". Maria and I have been friends for 23 years now, but she is not a good friend. She blows me off when we make plans, she talks about me behind my back, and she continues to do things to make my life miserable. I don't let her get to me and that pisses her off even more. Over the past several years we have stopped being close, I can barely call her a friend now. Stephen and Maria are not happy together, he has told me many many times that he doesn't love her.Stephen and I have, through many many years, built something of a relationship. I want him to leave Maria and possibly try things out with me, but he is worried about what everyone will think. I know Joe will be upset, and Maria and I would never speak again (and that is FINE with me). But I think the rest of his family would be really happy, and so would I. I guess I just don't know how to procede from here. Should I just give up the most intense attraction I've ever felt for someone? Should we just keep having random hookups? Should I wait for him to leave her? Or should I just call it quits and try to forget about what we had?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): If he would leave her for you he might leave you for someone else... an you had no problem being with him when perhaps you shouldn't have...
Go for it. You deserve each other.
A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (4 April 2010):
This is one sad situation, you are a very manipulative person and you keep telling yourself that his family will be happy for you if you end up with your boyfriends brother.
For us guys, we have an unwritten rule that says, friends of a boyfriend or ex is a no no, not to talk of a brother.
It only makes you out to be a cheap lay.If the brother is not happy with his girlfriend, he should have broken up with her.
And let me tell you something, the feelings feels so intense only because it is illicit, if you guys eventually get together, give it a few months, it will feel like his current relationship and he ll need someone else again,same might apply to you.
Rather let him focus on his relationship and you focus on yours instead of hurting families and friends.
We must always do unto others, only what we will expect them to do to us.Karma is a bitch.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 If you cannot decide what you want, then let fate decides for you.
In time , everything will become clearer to you and you will be able to see your directions you want to go.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 If you don't love your boyfriend anymore then please just break up with him............it's not fair to string him along when you have feelings for another man. If you don't like Maria as a person and don't wish to be friends with her anymore then just stop calling her and hanging out with her. Move on with your life, let Stephen live his life as he wishes and should your paths cross in the future then you two can give it a go at that time. It's not right to dump your bf and ask his brother to dump his gf so the 2 of you can be together without feeling guilty- that's very cruel and selfish. If you want to end it with Joe and Maria then please do that first, you'll feel so much better about it if you do the right thing:)
Good luck hun............all the best to you!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (4 April 2010):
 If you're looking for justification that what you are doing is right... You won't get it from me. You are what is called a home-wrecker. You want a guy to leave his woman for you. There are plenty of guys out there, why wreck a relationship to get one of your own? You broke up with Joe a FEW WEEKS AGO... Now you want to his step-brother Stephen to break up with his girlfriend because you've been single for a FEW WEEKS?! That's incredibly selfish... the world does not revolve around you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (4 April 2010):
 what you had was a little hole in the corner, dirty little, illicit affair.
You were cheating on your boyfriend with his step brother and he was cheating on his girlfriend, a long time friend of yours.
Think about it for a moment.
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