Like what
he writes?
... Add *mtmj to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *mtmj a private message | | | *mtmj's profile:
A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
|
|
| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
|
Keep going back to the ex. Should I end it?
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilema and I really feel I can't turn to my family or friends as I'm scared they'll judge me. This site looks a great way to get it off my chest. I have known my ex since I was fifteen, I'm now nineteen. We dated back then for a ...
A. 12 June 2010: Ever made a photocopy? Then photocopied the photocopy you just made? and then repeated the process? The quality gets worse and worse each time you do it, to the point where you've got an incredibly crappy copy which is nowhere near as good as ... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: "Are you in a relationship right now?"
Nah mate I'm not... so that clearly makes anything I say invalid? I mean if your girlfriend has a big problem with porn, if she doesn't then hats off to ya. Unfortunately there's a lot of women who clearly ... (read in full...)
Why is porn bad?
Q. *OP's Original Title* This is more of a question for females. I watch porn and I hate that it upsets my girlfriend. I love her more then anything and try to be a good boyfriend in every way. I clean up after myself, I don't cook a lot but I pay for ...
A. 12 June 2010: Mmmm... I don't classify watching porn as cheating. I don't know any guy who would go up to his girlfriend and say, "baby, forgive me, I cheated the other day, I watched porn". Anything involving a real person, phone sex, cyber sex, webcams, etc. ... (read in full...)
How are our metabolisms so different when we are twins?
Q. I have a twin brother. Although we are not identical, people have a lot of trouble tellng the difference between us. We were both same height, look the smae, have the same build and weight the same. We went to different universities. Du...
A. 12 June 2010: Trust me when I say that your metabolism hasn't stopped. There's plenty of ways to boost your metabolism, unfortunately its those dreaded words again... diet and exercise. ARRRRGGHHH!!... (read in full...)
Is there a chance we will get back??
Q. Ok, so I spilt with my boyf of 6 years about 3 months ago due to the fact that he was not willing to make an effort with finding a job or do anything constructive with his time. In the time we were together I got a BSc degree while he did nothing. ...
A. 11 June 2010: Going on a holiday with an ex whom you dated for 6 years?? That's just a recipe for disaster and I'd have done exactly the same thing in his situation.... (read in full...)
Mentally abusive, financially abusive, intimidating, threatening, hitting
Q. I have been married for 24 years, and have 4 children 27 years, 23 years, my 17 year old and my 11 year old daughter's live at home. My husband has become so abusive that I do not know him any longer, nor do I trust him. I found out he has a ma...
A. 11 June 2010: Sad story... I'm kinda at a loss for ideas, but you seem desperate so any reply is better than nothing.
How far are you away from finishing your degree and being able to get a job, because you need one ASAP. Money is your biggest problem ... (read in full...)
I have tried to explain to him my needs but he just doesn't catch on.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. When I first started dating him I was dealing with a lot of issues from a sexual assault and being really self conscience about anything sexual. I didn't enjoy anything he did to me no matter how ...
A. 11 June 2010: He's tried to please you countless times and he would have been able to tell that you didn't enjoy it. So you wouldn't have kicked up a fuss when he finally gave up trying to please you. He's had the benefit of release without having to ... (read in full...)
Why is the porn argument so one-sided?
Q. Why is it that when a woman is hurt by porn use it's always about why she should change herself to accept it and how it's her fault that it bothers her and how basically, it's all about the sacrifices she needs to make to accommodate him? Why is it ...
A. 11 June 2010: You really can go into this debate as deeply as you like, but at the end of the day this problem isn't going anywhere. A lot of guys don't see what the problem is and a lot of girls don't see what the problem is in the guy giving it up.
Nobod... (read in full...)
Should I try and find the spark with him or should I leave?
Q. My bf has got everything I want in a relationship except... there is no spark, he can feel it but I cant! Should I risk all of this just to get that spark or must I live with it... a good man like this is hard to find. :(...
A. 10 June 2010: That's up to you to decide... Keep in mind that while there will be benefits to staying with him, it could seriously hinder your chances of finding someone better to fall in love with to begin with...
Saying that you have a boyfriend isn't ex... (read in full...)
I'm in love with her but she's dating someone else which might be about to end! Should I step back or step up right now?
Q. Ok, I really love this girl and I've waited for her for 2 years plus already because she is in a relationship. Actually she felt the same way as me while with her guy. She has hurt me many times because of her guy. She told me to move on and her bf ...
A. 9 June 2010: Give her space, if she wants you then she'll come to you. Just know that if she comes to you wanting to be comforted, don't read too much into it. Be a friend first and if I were you I'd stop confessing your feelings to her, she already knows you ... (read in full...)
She told me she likes us as friends...but then she was flirty with me! Very confusing!
Q. Very confusing for me... So two weeks ago, I asked my friend of 4 years if she wanted to take our relationship to the next level. She said she likes us the way we are - friends. Last weekend, my friends and I went on a retreat - she was ther...
A. 9 June 2010: She could secretly just like feeling that you're attracted to her, she could have been re-thinking her answer or maybe she could just like flirting, especially now because its more meaningful or forbidden... or about a gazillion other reasons...
... (read in full...)
I want to start a new life, be important, be something incredible. Can anyone help me?
Q. ok so i am like at a wall and this wall is very tall.....metaphore as in i want to start a new life i just want to move to the oddest place and get you know just a regular ol job just decent. i want to just do things i never thought i would ever ...
A. 9 June 2010: I'm confused... you want a regular ol job, but you want to be incredible at it? Try doing an online career test maybe and see if that points you in a direction worthy of your awesomeness.... (read in full...)
Cant talk to boyfriend about this because he said he will leave me if I do? Help please!?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for about 5 months now, long distance. Ive always felt a bit untrusting of him. He voluntarily told me the other day that his ex who recently got out of a mental hospital contacted him and wanted to "get ice cream with him". H...
A. 9 June 2010: Of course he still cares about her, its his first girlfriend! It doesn't mean that either of them wants to get back together. Ex's can be friends you know, provided its innocent, which it seems they are because he was voluntarily honest about her ... (read in full...)
What is this guy playing at? And should I invite him to my flatwarming party?
Q. I need help with this guy (lets call him andy) I first met andy when he came to my flat with two of his friends for a party, i spent the whole time getting a chat on with andy and eventually andy and his friend got up to leave but invited me and m...
A. 9 June 2010: Ergh, you guys sound like you're mind-gaming each other to death! Write a mass msg, but just change each one by adding the persons name at the top and if you want to personalize his a bit more you can. Give it one more shot, if you can't work out ... (read in full...)
Should I try and find the spark with him or should I leave?
Q. My bf has got everything I want in a relationship except... there is no spark, he can feel it but I cant! Should I risk all of this just to get that spark or must I live with it... a good man like this is hard to find. :(...
A. 9 June 2010: Could you live with him for the rest of your life without this spark? Are you happy even though you are spark-less??... (read in full...)
Do you think you attract the same type of person over and over again? And how to stop it!
Q. Do you ever notice that you attract a certain type of person? I wonder about that, if anyone else seems to find themselves attractive to the same type of person over and over again. I won't describe the type I've been attracting just because I d...
A. 9 June 2010: Its hard to know what you can do to fix this without knowing what type you attract. All I know is that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten... I can't say I've ever fallen for someone for their domestic ... (read in full...)
Is he getting sprung?
Q. Okay so my bf always wants me to give him head I give him head more then we have sex, he say's he loves they way I do it, Is he getting sprung????...
A. 9 June 2010: The definition of sprung is??... (read in full...)
Are there any men in their early 20's who know for a fact they would not cheat on their partners?
Q. Are there any men in their early 20's here that know for a fact you would never cheat on your signifiacant other? How do you know you would never? Do you try to stay out of situations where you may be tempted? (Like going to bars stc without your ...
A. 7 June 2010: If the guy is truly in love and truly emotionally committed then it doesn't matter if he's high as a kite, drunk as a skunk, surrounded by beautiful women or all three, he'll remain faithful.
I imagine it could be hard finding a guy like thi... (read in full...)
Husband cheated and says I treat him like a convict
Q. I am married with 2 kids aged 2 and 6. My husband frequents pubs and night clubs with his friends. I accidentally discovered that my husband paid and slept with the pub hostress after he got high and drunk. He promised not to drink again and will ...
A. 7 June 2010: I'm all for forgiving your partner of one big mistake, (with the odd exception), but he hasn't made just one big mistake here. In my books he's made two. First one being the obvious act of cheating. Strike one. The second is that he didn't... (read in full...)
Nice Guys, my boyfriend is too nice, my husband is too nice
Q. So...I just want to open this space for discussion between men and women husbands and wives girlfriends and boyfriends about what it means when a man is being "too nice" or is a "Nice Guy" and how it makes both men and women feel...there are a lot ...
A. 7 June 2010: Take anything I say with a pinch of salt marie, I'm not that detached from reality... yet. :D
I wrote a long msg explaining my opinion on the whole "nice guy" issue, but I think I'll save myself the too and fro and just say that I know exactly ... (read in full...)
Nice Guys, my boyfriend is too nice, my husband is too nice
Q. So...I just want to open this space for discussion between men and women husbands and wives girlfriends and boyfriends about what it means when a man is being "too nice" or is a "Nice Guy" and how it makes both men and women feel...there are a lot ...
A. 6 June 2010: Given the amount of times I've heard a girl say I just want a nice guy... even when she's bawling her eyes out on my shoulder... (ironic much), this useless hand-me-down is here to stay for generations. Its like finding out that there's no santa ... (read in full...)
This time I ended the relationship and I'm heartbroken :(
Q. I'm so hurt right now. I feel like its a heartbreak all over again. So after 4 months my ex boyfriend comes back. He's in a relationship with someone right now. He told me he missed me and that he took everything for granted. He cherished me and ...
A. 6 June 2010: Be strong and don't second guess yourself.
You absolutely did the right thing 100%
That conversation log... sheesh... what a douchebag.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted to me that while on holiday he visited a brothel
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years now, and he was going away on a family holiday for 2 days. When he came back i didnt see him because he had to go straight to work when he got home, but that night he texted me saying he had went to ...
A. 6 June 2010: Time to re-post as prettyinpink90 you reckon Q?... (read in full...)
How many is too many? She's had 10 sexual partners in 3 years
Q. Hi all, I am 21 yrs old and I'm seeing a new girl right now. We've been dating for quite a while now, but she said something that concerned me. She is 21 also and lost her virginity at age 18 and has since gone off and had 10 sexual partners since ...
A. 6 June 2010: Meh, its no more than an average guy would have. As long as she has no STD's, why should it matter? I found out an old girlfriend lost her virginity in a threesome with two guys and had slept with 15 guys before she was 18 so I know what you're ... (read in full...)
How do I fix these problems and spice up the bedroom activity?
Q. ok i have several questions.... my boyfriend broke up with me in october but still calls me and texts me and we sometimes hook up. I asked him why he keeps comming around. he says he loves me/ What should i Do??? also we have awsome sex but i can't ...
A. 6 June 2010: Stupid question, but you know you're just his booty call right? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted to me that while on holiday he visited a brothel
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years now, and he was going away on a family holiday for 2 days. When he came back i didnt see him because he had to go straight to work when he got home, but that night he texted me saying he had went to ...
A. 6 June 2010: He wont do this again. I'm dead serious. He told you basically as soon as he could, (obviously he had some thinking to do). You didn't have to probe him, he just came right out and said it. That takes balls! He could have said nothing and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friendship with his ex-wife is hard for me to endure.
Q. I started dating again someone that I had a brief relationship (for 2 months 2 yeas ago). This time things are more serious, we got back together 3 months ago, we already talked about the idea of moving together, if things go well having a baby etc...
A. 6 June 2010: If you can't deal with it then just leave. He's not going to stop talking to her, even if he says he will. He'll just talk to her behind your back. Either way its going to be a stale-mate if you can't learn to deal with it. I think its immature ... (read in full...)
Attracted to taller women, where do I find them!??
Q. My problem is I am only sexually attracted to to women taller than myself. I have had this fetish since pre-puberty when the 'all boys' school I attended, merged with the nearby girls school. I was about 13 years old and one of the smallest and you...
A. 6 June 2010: I don't think that finding them is any harder than finding girls normally. Your biggest problem is that girls generally like to be the same height as their boyfriend at a bare minimum. Ideally they want you to be taller than them by a at least a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not paying attention to me
Q. Hey guys! :) Alright.. My boyfriend is NOT paying any attention to me and it pisses me off! On facebook he NEVER replies to my posts and never posts anything to me but he has the time to comment on his friends' He never initiates a call.. Its a...
A. 6 June 2010: What do you expect, he's a boy... not your husband and at the moment his PS3 is way more important to him than you. Either break up with him or deal with it, you aren't going to turn him into the chaser, no matter what you do. Your mind games won't ... (read in full...)
What is the fastest way to get toned?
Q. What is the fastest way to get toned? I have 2 weeks to get my entire body toned and I was just wondering what are the best exercises to do to target everywhere on the body, how long/many times should I do them? And should I run? Thank you!...
A. 6 June 2010: Assuming you have access to a gym and know how to use the equipment, any weight resistance machine is going to do you good. Try to use free weights (dumbells and barbells) and body weight exercises (push ups, tricep dips, lunges, etc.) more than ... (read in full...)
Why do most men like big boobs so much?
Q. Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis ...
A. 6 June 2010: This is a rant, not a question...
Saying big boobs are just extra fat is like saying a diamond is just made out of coal :P
You're just sick of being overlooked by boys and sick of being jealous so you're taking it out on big boobs??
Shame on y... (read in full...)
How do I feel more secure in the relationship?
Q. Odd one this, involving more me than my relationship but there you go.... Okay so basically I've been with my girlfriend for 5months now, everything is so, so great, chat for hours, always have a laugh and what not: we're very serious. I'm a...
A. 5 June 2010: It could have something to do with exams, because you really need to relax. Kinda need some more information though. For example, how long does it take you to start getting worried from the time you last saw/spoke to her? A few hours? A day? ... (read in full...)
If he liked me, wouldn't he make more of an effort?
Q. Recently I have been getting close to a good friend of mine. We've been friends for about a year now, and recently it's developed into something more. We have all the same friends and see each other at the same night clubs every week. We kiss and ...
A. 5 June 2010: If he wanted to date you, yeh he would.... (read in full...)
Do I have any chances of getting back with him?
Q. Hello. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me less than a week ago. And the worst part is that in 10 days I have my final exams and it's affecting me greatly, but I'll explain why we broke up. We argued a lot, over the stupidest things. It wa...
A. 5 June 2010: Its called a break-up because the relationship is broken, not working, not functional etc.. You don't match and that's a major, major reason why people break up in the first place. Why chase him if you guys don't match? You'll just end up hurting ... (read in full...)
Married to the wrong man!
Q. i married the wrong man for the wrong reasons. we have been married over 15 years and were high school sweethearts. we have four wonderful childern, however i knew the day i was marrying him he was probably not the man i should be marrying. i cried ...
A. 4 June 2010: So you've been married for 15 years and been cheating on your husband for 15 years with this other guy?? Or did I misinterpret that?... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong? I'm finding it hard to get over this break up.
Q. (moderators note: users own title) okay...so i'm still thinking about my breakup, and can't seem to get it out of my head, and i just neeed to know if i did the right thing... my boyfriend (now ex), started to not pay as much attention to me, in...
A. 4 June 2010: Nobody is the bad guy in this situation. You could have handled things better and so could he. At the end of the day you both weren't right for each other to begin with. It was 3 weeks out of an entire lifetime, try not to over-think and blow ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if he calls me baby now
Q. does it mean anything if a guy switches from calling me babe to calling me baby? Ive been talking to this guy for a couple of months but neither of us have talked about a relationship. We see each other when we can. At first he started calling me ...
A. 3 June 2010: not a dam thing in my opinion...... (read in full...)
Fallen in love but never met
Q. My friend gave me this guys number and we started texting and talking.well now we have fallen in love but we have never met before. We talk and text every day. But i have to go through my mom just to talk to him and she is geting tiered of it. I ...
A. 2 June 2010: In my experience, you can't truly love somebody that you've never met. You can love what you know about them through talking, but that's just one aspect of them out of many. You could meet them and then find that there are so many things about ... (read in full...)
She still chokes me to death with her conrolling nature
Q. I know that God takes care of us, if we take care of ourselves. Somehow I've made dumb relationship decisions. I realize again and again that I'm a terrible judge of personality and that I end up with girls who are very controlling and jealous. I ...
A. 2 June 2010: I agree totally with what Youwish said...
SHE WILL NOT CHANGE!!
If there is a feeling in your gut that you can change her... ignore it. Ask yourself if you can live with a girl as controlling as she is for the rest of your life. If you ca... (read in full...)
I have spent a long time liking him for reasons that are not comprehendible!
Q. I'm now going on 3 years that I've liked this guy. I'm gay, he's supposedly straight. Infatuation? Don't think so because it's not like I don't go out with other guys and fall for them. Obsession? Nah cause I'm not dying without him. Crush? I think ...
A. 31 May 2010: He's straight and you're gay but a higher force is telling you that he is the one for you...? I see a problem in this equation... Its been 3 years, give it up and admit that he's straight. Stay in contact and if he comes out of the closet down the ... (read in full...)
Which books will improve my vocabuary?
Q. Hey there, I am 25 and since leaving school and university, I have hardly had the time to read books nor really had an interest for them, but as time goes by I find that my English is not as profound and great as it could be and I am starting to f...
A. 31 May 2010: www.thefreedictionary.com is great. Install the free toolbar that they offer and it has a few great games and a new word of the day with definition, example sentence etc. I hate having my internet browser take up a quarter of the screen with about ... (read in full...)
| *mtmj's friends
These are mutual friends, so *mtmj has
added them and they have added *mtmj!
|
