A
female
age
26-29,
*hiro'-'Nosuke
writes:ok. so me and my bf have been together for like EVER. we've been together so long that i lost count of the months. befor i lost count it was like 18 months. anyway i love him so much and i want to please him for v-day(if u know wat i mean) but im only 13. hes the sweetest most caring, protective guy ive ever met. our relationship has had some big ups and downs, but it survived. but he gives me so much and i feel i dont give back enough. we've had some intense experiances. like once he fingerd me while i gave him a hand job.(i know thats TMI) but i have the condom and im on birthcontrol. should i go thru wuth it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010): I am 13 to i feel the same way, i don't give and he gives so much.I have known him now for 5 years and we have been to together for about 1 year 1/2 and we have done all that stuff you were just talking about. You said you love him, love is a very very strong feeling. Don't fool your self that you love him, he's just another guy looking for sex, and sooner are later he is is goning to getbored and go find a next girl that will work him or have sex. And if he really loves you he will wait for you when time is rigt. Wen your of a decent age. Think about it if you lose it now, and you get pregnant your life is alleady gone to hell. Just wait your time will come. Let your heart tell you not your hormones. PLease make the right decision and just wait i want it really bad to but, it's not that im scared of the pain are anything, I and you really don't want to get pregnant now so, just wait. I had a BF just like this one i have now and guess what he did we were going and i was going to lose it to him that seem night i found out he was with another girl and i cought myself before it was too late i would have lost it to a no good baster that would have never been good enough for me so there's a next example, maby your not a christian but even if your not pray and talk about it with God, i promise he'll help you in this situation.
A
male
reader, Phsyciatrist-to-be  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 Sex is possibly the biggest step to take in a relationship, short of actually having kids. Which, I might add, is still a risk if something does not go according to plan.
Not only would it be illegal for you to have sex at this age, but there are aother things you should be worried about: STI's, for example. Implications on future life: what if you DO break up? The future is not set in stone: anything can happen.
I'm not going to say DON'T DO IT followed by loads and loads of exclamation points. At the end of the day, it's entirely your choice. But you absolutely HAVE to consider the remifications of the whole thing.
Again, it's your choice, your decision, but I advise you to stick to what you've done before: make the day extra special for him, but don't rush into things.
Good luck: all the best, and I hope that whatever you decide works out well :)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You are too young to fully understand the full implications of that act.
When you are older and wiser , you would look back and wished that you were not that impetuous.
Don't give you all for someday your heart will be trampled upon.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 bad idea. don't do it.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 February 2010):
You're too young. It would be illegal, and you might end up pregnant. And in the future when you look back you'll really regret it. Do something else.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): "but he gives me so much and i feel i dont give back enough"
Bake him some cookies or paint him a tshirt, paint him a bike poster or something :) Does he like anything other than sex? Can you not do something beautiful? What'll you do on the next valentine's day or the one after that when you won't have any sexual firsts to distribute?
Sex is not a gift you give someone else. At 13, your 'intense stuff' ought to be limited to you exploring your body.
Its great that you want to do something for someone you love... find things that you dont have to depend on your body for.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 If you were sure it was a good idea, would you post here to get opinions from internet strangers? Kiddo, you have doubts, and that's very smart. Because what you're thinking of doing is a big step, and there's no going back.
Ask yourself what happens if you *don't* do it. You two have been doing stuff, and it's maybe been good. Why not just keep doing what you've been doing. There's no risk. Ya, you're on birth control, but it doesn't always work. He is surely a happy camper if you're giving him hand jobs. Why go farther?
Losing your virginity is, or should be, a big deal. There's no rush. Why not wait? You want to please him; there are lots of ways to do that without intercourse.
Don't throw your virginity away because you think that's what you should do for your Valentine. Keep it until you *know* it's the right thing to do, and until you're sure you can handle the consequences if the birth control doesn't work.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 February 2010):
 You're 13 for flip sake, whats the rush? The fact that you're asking on here if you should suggests to me that you have doubts. Is this something that you really want to do or is it something you want to do to make your boyfriend happy so that he'll stay with you? Because you know that once you do give it away to him, he'll expect it all the time. So you could be opening a pandoras box on yourself if you arent actually ready.
Although ppl can say "you're 13, too young etc. etc.", you're going to do what you want anyway. I just hope that when you do give it up that its special and for the right reasons, (ie. not trying to make someone else happy). Virginity shouldnt be a present, but thats just my opinion.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Kassi (Nova) +, writes (11 February 2010):
 I didn't lose my virginity until I was 17. I'd always been proud of being a virgin, and I was a little regretful of losing it. When I told my best friend, she called me a slut and stopped talking to me. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years, and he still cheated on me.
Think of it this way- sex gets you more physically and emotionally close to someone than anyone else will ever get. It's scary, it's life-changing, and it's about self respect.
A lot of girls in my school started having sex and your age and most of them never went to college, are married, and have more than one child. I'm not saying that will happen to you- but sex is not love, and having sex will never make someone love you.
If you give him your virginity and then sometime down the road, you break up, how will you feel? It's a big decision, and ultimately yours to make. Consider all the factors involved. If you decide it's what is right for you, and it's what you both want, nobody will change your mind or be able to stop you. All I can say is congratulations on being smart enough to be prepared for whenever you do. Just make sure the condom hasn't expired and you're taking your birth control properly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010): Okay girl. I am a little older than you, so I've had my fair share of experiences and seen many friends have sexual relationships. I understand that you've been with this guy for awhile, but you are WAY too young to start having sex.
Think of it this way, when you're my age (20) do you want to tell a future BF that you've slept with guys since you were 13?? Hell no. Also, sex can mess with you emotionally. What happens if/when this guy dumps you, how are you going to feel about losing your virginity to him?? Also, sex should be something YOU want, not something you give away as a "gift." If you're worried about pleasing your guy, trust me - he'll be just as happy with a hand job or BJ as with sex. Even if you have friends having sex and you feel pressured to do the same, it's soooooooo not worth it to give in. They'll be the ones regretting it years down the road. If I were you, I'd definitely wait for the long run, so many other amazing ways to tell or show your guy how you care without actually doing it.
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