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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Am I insane for wanting to go to Ireland to find love?
Q. I seem to have some kind of crazy obsession with Ireland. So much so that I'm strongly considering saving money for a few months, taking a flight over, and backpacking for a while... with a hidden agenda of falling in love with an Irishman. How bad ...
A. 19 June 2010: Sounds like a fantastic idea! :)
Good thing about it is that even if you don't find love in Ireland, you'll still have an absolute blast, see new places and meet new people.
Sounds like a win-win to me so start saving...... (read in full...)
Could this really be love?
Q. I was wondering is it really possible to fall in love with someone u never met in real life!!! I have been in a long distance relationship before. It all started when I was 13, I've met this guy on the AOL message boards and when started talkin to ...
A. 19 June 2010: I don't think so, and I'll tell you why... To truly love somebody I believe you have to truly know them. I have no doubt that you guys have a fantastic thing going over the phone and probably know each other really well. However there's so many ... (read in full...)
Can a doctor tell by physical exam if a person has engaged in anal sex?
Q. Can a doctor tell by physical exam that a person engages or has engaged in anal sex?...
A. 19 June 2010: Hmmm, maybe if there are genital warts, herpes or something like that... Kinda intrigued as to why this matters considering that doctors are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and have been accused of being a pedophile! What should I do?
Q. i am 19 and i was havin a threesome with 2 17 year old twins.their parents were supposed to be pickin up their brother at the airport but the flight got canceled so they came back to the house to find me havin sex with their daughters in the living ...
A. 19 June 2010: Ouch... Well I'd get myself a lawyer for a start...
I can't help but feel for the parents though and I think I'd react the same way, if not worse, if I found some dude plowing my two daughters in my house.
You're not a paedophile, but ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he tell me he would be there?
Q. There was an event at where I work and a guy a like was apparently going to it (you had to be asked by someone at my work to come, and I KNOW he didn't know anyone there) but didn't even tell me. He invited himself to come (which was acceptable but ...
A. 19 June 2010: Firstly, does he know you like him? Does he like you back? If the answer is no to either of those questions, I'm curious as to why you think he would/should have asked around for your email address?? ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing? If so why does it hurt so much?
Q. Okay so I've been crushing on a teacher of mine for maybe 2 years now, and well, I haven't done much to hide it, and he hasn't done much to stop it. In fact, we're really close like we talk almost every day and we completely understand each other ...
A. 19 June 2010: Absolutely you did :)... (read in full...)
I think he was with someone else, but he denies it! What should I do?
Q. This is going to be a little on the embarrassing side for me but i really need someone thats been experienced to let me know the real deal. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we do have sex every now and then. but just t...
A. 18 June 2010: Let me consult zee crystal ball... oooo... ahhh...
Nah.. I have no idea whether he cheated or not. Best not to keep bringing it up with him in case he's innocent without really pissing him off, however you can't forget or ignore it in case he'... (read in full...)
Will he ever be ready for a relationship with me?
Q. Hi there I was wondering if anyone had an opinions about my situation Im 21 years old and am head over heels for a guy the same age as me. He has been messaging me all day ever day for atleast a month now. I spend a couple of nights a week wi...
A. 18 June 2010: Why would he want a relationship when he's getting both your company and body already but without the restrictions that come with exclusive dating?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me! How can I get him back?
Q. dear cupid, my boyfriend just broke up with me because of my past. he has been getting mad about the apst like ALL the time. but he says to me and others how he loves me and that he wont break up with me due to the past. well today he went out and ...
A. 18 June 2010: Ergh... why would you want to be with this guy? Nobody is worth losing all your friends over. Nobody. He sounds like a jealous, insecure baby and if I gave you advice on how to win him back then I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night. Sorry, ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend!
Q. I am a 21 year old female who is pretty independent. I constantly feel different from my peers, because I'm just not similar in certain personality aspects. Every female friend I have seems to be obsessed with men. I love men, I enjoy discussion and ...
A. 18 June 2010: When I saw that this post was like 900 words long I was ready for a whiny self-pitying post, but I found reading this quite refreshing. You seem to be fairly down to earth, but even the best of us can't help but feel the influence of social ... (read in full...)
How do you know if she is having a real orgasm?
Q. How do you know if a woman is having an orgasm? Ive heard alot of women fake it. But how do you know if its real? My girlfriend likes it when i lick and finger her at the same time. While doing it, she pulls my hair and presses my head against ...
A. 18 June 2010: *High five*... (read in full...)
Friendship with the ex???
Q. Me and my ex broke up a year ago, was very messy, we were together for a year and a half. I have a new boyfriend, everything is great, I love him to pieces. I don't think about my ex in any way other than a friend but my current boyfriend has a pr...
A. 18 June 2010: Ain't nothing wrong with being friends with an ex, but you need to understand that there are so many ways it can go sour for your current relationship. You may have to talk with your partner about the terms of this friendship... eg, will it be a ... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex with me... to practice!!!!
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old straight girl, and recently one of my male friends, who is gay, was telling me about how it's common for gay guys to have sex with their female friends sort of as 'practice'... He didn't directly ask me but I'm inferrin...
A. 18 June 2010: Why didn't I think of that line in high school...?! ... (read in full...)
What effect can not having a proper father figure have on a man?
Q. What are the effects on sons without proper father figures? My boyfriend's father was abusive and he is constantly searching for father figures in his older friends, he told me. I wish I could help him and be his friend but maybe that is not a role ...
A. 18 June 2010: He opened up and told you that so that you could understand him better, not so that you could problem solve it together. The fathers main job to a son is to teach him how to be a man as well as how to treat women in a relationship. This is learned ... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 16 June 2010: Yeh I suppose Chigirl, but I think I'll read it all when it comes out in hardcover edition. Until then I must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.
... (read in full...)
Porn isn't entirely harmless
Q. I would like to point something out that is making me feel really sad about the state of things. Every day women come on here asking for help for a porn related issue. Basically they say I'm really upset he looks and it's worse because he lies to ...
A. 16 June 2010: Q's wife - I second that bravo :)
And to OP... You started this post sounding informed and open minded, now you just seem to be arguing for the sake of winning, trying to disprove everything anyone says really isn't promoting the idea of compromi... (read in full...)
He named his rifle after his ex!
Q. Well, my boyfriend is in the Army and is currently training out of state (AIT). Things have been a bit dull between us because of how busy he is, but we managed to keep the love alive. Anyway, I just recently got over an obsession after ...
A. 16 June 2010: He named a cold metallic object that kills men after his ex and you're jealous because??... (read in full...)
Virginity and experience--does it matter?
Q. alrighty...i guess this would count more as a poll, but i just kinda want to get an idea what guys/girls think. Guys: Would it matter if your girlfriend/boyfriend was a virgin (i mean this in the sense that she hasn't done oral, hand jobs..pure ...
A. 15 June 2010: I also prefer chocolate icecream over vanilla, wanna judge me for that as well?... (read in full...)
Virginity and experience--does it matter?
Q. alrighty...i guess this would count more as a poll, but i just kinda want to get an idea what guys/girls think. Guys: Would it matter if your girlfriend/boyfriend was a virgin (i mean this in the sense that she hasn't done oral, hand jobs..pure ...
A. 15 June 2010: I'd rather have a blank piece of paper than a piece of paper that others have already doodled on.... (read in full...)
What you need versus what is the right thing to do?
Q. so doing what you feel like you need to do versus doing what you feel is the morally righteous thing to do? What is your outlook on this?...
A. 15 June 2010: If you feel like you need something then one could argue that its not really a need, its a want. We need to breath, eat enough food to sustain ourselves, shelter from the elements and water etc.. So if you're talking about stealing a loaf of bread ... (read in full...)
How can I choose between two men that love me?
Q. well i've been dating this guy for 2 1/2 months now. he spoils me and only wants to make me happy. hes like my best friend. we never seem to run out of things to talk about and he accepts me and loves me no matter what my hair and makeup looks like. ...
A. 15 June 2010: I propose a series of tests, each one more devilish than the last... or perhaps a race around the world...? MUHAHA!!
Tricky situation, it'd suck if you lost both of them... Do you love both of them the same? Maybe write a list of each ones pro... (read in full...)
Should I trust her?
Q. 2 years ago i started playing a game, Lieange.Well i started it to stay away from my bad habbits, gambling, going to casinos and stuff like that. I just felt that i need to replace that "hobby" with another. Im not the kind of guy to look for girls ...
A. 15 June 2010: "The problem here is me losing my trust in her, how can i trust someone whom ive never seen live or irl and who's so far away from me, just from words like "trust me"?"
How can you truly love someone when you've only seen a snippet of who they rea... (read in full...)
It is hard to date when I have herpes
Q. i dunno what to do. well first off i have herpes. but no one knows not even my friends. so when i meet guys i sabotage things really quickly, before it can get to point where id have to tell him and hed be gone. so wherever i meet a guy, example we ...
A. 15 June 2010: I'm positive I heard something about a dating website made just for people with herpes. ... (read in full...)
Was he following me or was I being overly cautious?
Q. Sorry this isn't a love question but I need some answers.. I usually walk to work and back and this evening I got slightly scared because I thought I was being followed... This guy was on his bike in front of me he the spun his bike around a...
A. 15 June 2010: Never doubt your instincts when it comes to things like this. If its enough for you to notice then its enough to be cautious.... (read in full...)
Why do guys deny liking a girl to your mates? If he doesn't talk what more can I do?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Hey why would a guy deny to people that he likes you? I know with my situation theres a possibility he doesnt feel that way for me but the way hes acted EVERYONE thought he did. He was always really strange with me like he ...
A. 14 June 2010: ARGHH!! Just kiss him already!!! lol... (read in full...)
My ex totally messed with my head and left me an anxious wreck!
Q. Hi, I'm emailing you regarding an obsessive, controlling and abusive relationship. To start things off.. I'm an 18 year old male living in Spain but originally from Northern Ireland. I had this girlfriend for nearly 17 months. We met ...
A. 14 June 2010: You know what you need to do, its just about finding the courage to do it and not looking back.
In my experience, a volatile, irrational woman like this is capable of anything. You really think if she's punching, kicking, throwing things at you ... (read in full...)
Does a leopard ever change his spots?
Q. I was going out with a guy for a few months until I found out that whilst he was with me he was also someone I'm friendly with. She did'nt know that I was with him. We had a major fight over this and I didnt speak to him for nearly 2 months, ...
A. 13 June 2010: No he won't change, especially when you're willing to forgive him and take him back even after he two-timed you for months. I'm pretty sure you'll take him back despite what anybody says here but I really hope you're smarter than that and prove me ... (read in full...)
What he says vs. what he does
Q. I'm in a real pickle! I dated mt ex for almost a year when he unexpectedly broke up with me saying that he felt too much "pressure" for commitment. Fast forward 7 months later (now) and we still carry on as we did before we broke up, however ...
A. 13 June 2010: No relationship = No sex ... Why do this to yourself when deep down surely you must know that he's just using you, whether he could find someone else to sleep with or not is irrelevant. ... (read in full...)
Is this considered part of an eating disorder?
Q. okay, well this isn't a relationship question, it's on diet and I really need help from any professional or not even a professional! Anyway, basically, our end of year ball is coming up and I have a black silk dress I really want to look good in!...
A. 13 June 2010: Well, I know its only in 5 days, but then again, how many eating disorders might very well have started this exact same way? Simply trying to fit into a dress just one time for a special social event... I don't think you need help but I really ... (read in full...)
I kissed my friend and after two days he hasn't contacted me! I'm really worried.
Q. Hi, there's something which keeps bugging my mind and I'm not sure what I should do. I have a male friend, who is really just friend, but I admit that there is a special feeling between us. When we talk it was almost like flirting all the time, like ...
A. 13 June 2010: There's a good chance he's thinking the exact same thing...
I don't see what there is to worry about, I'm sure he's fine. Just msg him telling him something funny that happened to you today or something to that effect. Don't say anything... (read in full...)
"All women do on computers is chat with other guys", and so I am not allowed to buy a laptop!
Q. Hi all, The other day, I mentioned to my partner that I want to buy a laptop, but he is not happy with this idea, as he says I will only use it to chat to other guys because that is all women do on computers! I have tried to convince him wit...
A. 13 June 2010: Wow... that's just silly... wheres the trust? Buy the laptop and tell him if he doesn't like it he can jump in a lake. ... (read in full...)
I want to go out and find myself a decent guy!
Q. I'm unlucky in love and relationships basically and have no idea how to change this. I'm 26 and i have been in 3 relationships ... the 1st lasting almost 2 years, 2nd lasting 6 months and 3rd lasting 6 weeks. All the relationships have had problems ...
A. 13 June 2010: There are decent guys everywhere... Only catch is that you can't necessarily count on them approaching you. Look at it this way... if you never choose to approach someone you think you might like then you'll inevitably end up having to choose from ... (read in full...)
I want to get out of an abusive relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship and living with my boyfriend for the last 7 years,he is 30 I am 24. the past 3 years have been a living hell, he makes my life well miserable. he is rude, mean, selfish and arrogant towards me and other people, inc...
A. 13 June 2010: He's not a kid and he's not your responsibility. It may be the wake up call that makes him realize that he needs to get his life together. ... (read in full...)
Fiance says I'm not romantic enough
Q. this is continuing on from this dilema: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-wont-chat-to-me.html my fiance finally spoke to after abit of grovelling. the first thing she said was "your a twat" then she said "i shouldnt ...
A. 13 June 2010: By not being romantic you're being an asshole...? I always thought that actions were much better than words, but what would I know, being an asshole and all... Firstly, does she do romantic things for you? I've found that women express ro... (read in full...)
Why is my ex girlfriend so cold hearted?
Q. hey there ... once again im back here for advice ... if you have read my past posts you would know my background story to just refresh it .. my ex gf of 11 months broke up with me cause she said she didn't love me any more and said she w...
A. 13 June 2010: Yep, she's a bitch.
Aren't you glad you didn't wind up wasting anymore time with her..?... (read in full...)
How do I let go of my married man when we work together every day?
Q. I've been having an affair with a married man for 8 years. At first it was very innocent, lots of flirting, kissing and up until a month ago everything but sex, we've recently engaged in it. My feelings for him are so strong, and I know he doesn't ...
A. 13 June 2010: "Everyone you date you compare to him, they are never as good as he is..."
You need to get out and date more, its not hard to find someone better than a cheating, lying bastard.... (read in full...)
What did he mean when he said I should "sleep with my shoes on"?
Q. One of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to a party. We were around a few other people, and one of them told me to sleep with my shoes on. I have no idea what he meant. I have not gone to any parties, and I am 15 years old. I am now honestly ...
A. 13 June 2010: You need shoes when you're doing the walk of shame ;)... (read in full...)
Boy trouble! Please help!
Q. okay it started with me liking this guy lets call him "bob" he was perfect for me and i really liked him but i never talked to him, time went by and i found myself talking to him. my love for him grew even more and i became more and more obsessed ...
A. 13 June 2010: How is your friend being annoying exactly? Its not her fault that he likes her... is it? You can tell him how you feel if you want, but if he likes somebody else, whats the point? I'm sure there's plenty of guys who will pick you over your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend makes excuses not to have sex with me!
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for three months now and at the first month she told me we are going to have sex in two months time and its two months and she tells me that she is not used to me and we met every single day and kisses.what ...
A. 13 June 2010: Err... you wait until she's ready. Sex is a privilege, not an obligation... Personally I hope she makes you wait longer.... (read in full...)
Is it unrealistic for me to be waiting for that one special guy?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Dear Cupid, I'm 17, 18 in a few months. Never had a boyfriend. have however dated two guys unofficially, where we both liked each other and were looking to take it to the next level but were getting to know each oth...
A. 13 June 2010: "I do get approached when I go out but that doesn't interest me because I know that's not the way i'm going to meet someone."
A mate of mine met his girlfriend in a nightclub and they are now happily married and absolutely perfect for each oth... (read in full...)
Keep going back to the ex. Should I end it?
Q. I'm in a bit of a dilema and I really feel I can't turn to my family or friends as I'm scared they'll judge me. This site looks a great way to get it off my chest. I have known my ex since I was fifteen, I'm now nineteen. We dated back then for a ...
A. 12 June 2010: Ever made a photocopy? Then photocopied the photocopy you just made? and then repeated the process? The quality gets worse and worse each time you do it, to the point where you've got an incredibly crappy copy which is nowhere near as good as ... (read in full...)
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