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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Guy is now talking with his ex..
Q. Okay, I really don't know where to turn here, so I'm hoping someone can help me. I'm 22 years old, and talking to someone who is 27. We have been talking for about 2 months or so. Its a short time, but we've bonded so fast and see each other ...
A. 3 September 2010: He was flat out honest about what was bothering him and how he feels about you.
If you reward that honesty by trying to control the situation with an ultimatum you'll make him regret being honest with you to begin with.
You may as well be t... (read in full...)
My fiance of 5 years has just left me, is there any way to make me feel better?
Q. I've been dumped by my fiancé of five years. Is there anything anyone could suggest that might make people feel better?...
A. 2 September 2010: A timeless article... worth reading :)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html... (read in full...)
I post sexy pictures of myself on Facebook! Is this bad even though it keeps me from having sex?
Q. hi so im a 15 yr old girl and i get really horny sometimes.i try to keep good for my parents but its like a naughtier me is clawing itself out.i was on facebook one day and some random chick with sexy photos sent me a friend request and i ignored ...
A. 2 September 2010: Glad to hear it :) It sucks that you have to give up something that you like doing, but its just way too risky in general and especially at your age. You're making the right decision, good on ya!... (read in full...)
He stopped texting after we had sex, what should I do?
Q. okay so there is this guy that i have been talking to kind of and we before we started talking we were always really flirty and stuff so finally he gave me his number and we talked a little but not to much and then recently we started talking a lot ...
A. 2 September 2010: So how long has he not been texting since he last saw you exactly? ... (read in full...)
There are 3 guys that like me, on one hand I don't want a relationship right now but on the other I am worried about missing an opportunity!
Q. I hang around with a lot of guys. I dated one of these guys until I was pressured to break up with him because of my so called 'friend'. But now I find out that they all still like me. They're 3 guys and I'm not really sure what to do. I just don't ...
A. 2 September 2010: I'm sure if any of these 3 guys was the person of a lifetime then you probably wouldn't be confused about what you want and with which one...
If you just want to be single for a while, then do it... you don't want to enter a relation... (read in full...)
In love with friend's son!
Q. Hi, I'm a 38 year old female (but look much younger) who has been very happily married for 16 years with three beautiful children. We recently went to my home country over the summer and there met one of our family friends after a long time...
A. 2 September 2010: You may be 38 and look much younger but come on... you're mature and rational enough to know that doing anything with this kid would be a dumb idea. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just left me and I want her back. How should I proceed?
Q. My girlfriend just recently left me. She danced around a couple of reasons such as her issues, she pushed me away, etc... But in the end she said I was a really great guy, a really great boyfriend, but she wants to be single. We dated for almost...
A. 2 September 2010: Just say yeh, I'll leave it in a bag outside the door.
Be indifferent to her.... (read in full...)
Tell me something great about yourself, for my sake:)
Q. So, this isn't really a question. But I'll go for it anyway. As of late, I've been feeling pretty down about men. The reasons being I have somehow started to convince myself that all they want is sex and that they will lie and manipulate to ge...
A. 1 September 2010: I used to start work really early so I'd leave little sticky notes everywhere that she might gradually find throughout the day, each one saying one nice thing I liked about her. One time I literally plastered her mirror with about twenty of them ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: "Yes because once you go there it limits where you go before you get cleaned up."
Yeh, that too... personally I find the "ow, ow, OW, slow down, ow, ow, ow, STOP!" to be more off putting.... (read in full...)
Do his greedy personal habits warrant me breaking up with him?
Q. I started a relationship with a lovely man about 4 months ago and it quickly became quite intense. We have both said we love each other and I do think he is a lovely person. He has lots of good qualities, he is financially sound, has a good job and ...
A. 1 September 2010: I can't speak for your fella, but I know I'd be WAY more sensitive about finding out that I can come across as patronizing than finding out that I have disgusting table manners. Maybe try pushing your finger on your nose so it makes it look like a ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: Oh dude... anal is way over-hyped and if you wreck your relationship for it, you will feel like an absolute idiot. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys run from me?
Q. Okay so I have to know something, its driving me crazy. First of all I'm bi-polar, and I get very hyper, when I'm happy. Well I seem to have a bad habit of freaking guys out! Like they literally run from me, My friends Boyfriends, my guy friends, my ...
A. 1 September 2010: “between the platonic and erotic dialogues, chances are, you're enjoying the grey area a little too much.”
That pretty much sums up how a lot of guys who don’t know you or understand bipolar tendencies may feel about you. You’re sending guys mix... (read in full...)
Dating--all the girls hate me!
Q. hey im having trouble i want a date but every hates me how do i get a least one (please aprove this)...
A. 1 September 2010: Maybe tell us a little about yourself, what you do, what you've tried, etc?... (read in full...)
Can't reach orgasm without my vibrator!
Q. Hey peeps. Basically, I am finding it really hard to reach orgasm without using my vibrator! I love the sensation of it and feels so much different from sex. I use it a lot with my fiance but have reached the problem that i can't orgasm without it. ...
A. 31 August 2010: Ever tried those vibrating condoms? Its basically just a hollow ring that he wears kinda like a condom and its got a mini vibrator on it. They cost about 10 bucks over here and they're pretty awesome :)
Either that or maybe try to ween yourself... (read in full...)
He wants to let things go "day by day". Do I wait?
Q. I'm single female w/no children. I have been dating this guy with 7 children for 4 months now. When we 1St started dating he stated he don't trust women and how his relationships never seem to last b/c of his job (bodyguard) and his children. I ...
A. 31 August 2010: If I had SEVEN children I'd be reluctant about making any kind of additional commitments for myself whatsoever... wouldn't you?
In my opinion he's certainly justified in just wanting to "go with the flow" so I doubt he's hiding anything or strin... (read in full...)
Our open marriage has become a disaster
Q. This is complicated; you've been warned! My husband and I have always idealized, even before we were together, a committed relationship that does not involve monogamy. While I always thought it sounded great, I had doubts about how many people ...
A. 31 August 2010: Messy, messy, messy... Don't feel too bad though... I'm yet to hear of any couple who's been able to happily live this lifestyle in the long term without it getting as tangled as last years christmas tree lights.
Don't let him emotiona... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to fancy my cousin?
Q. hi im 17 my cousin is 25 my whole family (all aunts uncles cousins etc.) went out 4 a meal and a few drinks in the hotel afterwards , my family and my cousins family were still there late in the night when i was going i said goodbye 2 my cousin and ...
A. 31 August 2010: Everyone has different perspectives of what "wrong" is... The closest universal guideline of what is right and wrong is the law, or (if you have one), your religion.
But if I go out on a limb here I'd say that you just want to know if there's ... (read in full...)
Do his greedy personal habits warrant me breaking up with him?
Q. I started a relationship with a lovely man about 4 months ago and it quickly became quite intense. We have both said we love each other and I do think he is a lovely person. He has lots of good qualities, he is financially sound, has a good job and ...
A. 31 August 2010: I never EVER suggest to anybody that they should hang around in the hopes of changing their partner... but if these habits are the only real things causing your doubts- then from what you've told us, I totally don't believe that he couldn't or ... (read in full...)
What you need to know about Online Dating
Q. First, let me start off by saying that online dating is not a bad thing. In todays age of technology and the internet, I think online dating is just as good if not better than simply meeting someone at a bar, pub or nightclub. When you meet ...
A. 31 August 2010: Its not often that my ADD lets me finish reading 1500 words without getting bored and wandering off, so good article :)
I've never heard of people putting in significant amounts of time to actually chat with and gain the trust of individu... (read in full...)
Should I fight for us? or let us go?
Q. hi my boyfriend has just broke up with me a few days ago, and i dont know how to feel about it! i felt like he put me second so i would moan and argue with him n he said he has had enough of me and doesnt want to be with me anymore! he ...
A. 31 August 2010: "im 24 and have been with him for 3 years should i let him go?"
Ask yourself one simple question...
If you got back together and he didn't change at all in the ways you want him to... EVER!!... and you knew this...
Would you be happy wi... (read in full...)
He doesn't make time for me anymore
Q. Hi. I have always enjoyed reading this site as it seemed like people were always honest and nice, so im hoping someone can maybe help me. Ive been going out for my boyfriend for about 11 months and he's always been super sweet and nice, and a...
A. 31 August 2010: Do you do things for him in return, surprises and such? ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just left me and I want her back. How should I proceed?
Q. My girlfriend just recently left me. She danced around a couple of reasons such as her issues, she pushed me away, etc... But in the end she said I was a really great guy, a really great boyfriend, but she wants to be single. We dated for almost...
A. 31 August 2010: Ah dirtball... the amount of times I've started writing multiple paragraphs. only to find you've written exactly the same thing except better and in barely a sentence...
Bah!! phooey...
What he said dude.... (read in full...)
My parents found out about my boyfriend!
Q. He's been my secret boyfriend for a while now and I just tell my parents that he's my best friend. Today I wasn't so lucky because I was at the mall with him and so was my dad. He saw me and my boyfriend holding hands and kissing. My dad told my mom ...
A. 31 August 2010: "We're young but I swear our love is genuine; it's not one of those "typical teenage love that won't last long"
If I had a nickle...
Should I ever have a daughter I'm going to go crazy trying to slow the inevitable dating stage as long as... (read in full...)
Matching shirts? With hearts on them?! Is this abnormal?
Q. My girlfriend made matching shirts with another guy. They are extremely lame and have hearts on them..but she wears the shirt to school quite often. Is this abnormal or is it just me?...
A. 31 August 2010: Sounds lame... abnormal I suppose, but who wants to be normal anyways?
Personally I wouldn't be worried... If there was any secret funny business going on between them then they wouldn't be advertising it by wearing matching shirts... surely..... (read in full...)
Why is he saying he doesn't deserve me?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 years and recently he has been sayin that he doesn't deserve me. He keeps saying that I should break up with him and everything. I don't know if he doesn't love anymore or he wants to find some one new....
A. 31 August 2010: Have you tried asking him why he thinks that he doesn't deserve you? Does he have low self-esteem or could he be depressed? Other than that there really isn't any genuine reason why he'd be saying these things and actually meaning them...
... (read in full...)
Do guys really care about breast size?
Q. I have very small breast... I wear a thick push-up bra and layers of clothing over my chest to cover up the small size. And this has worked out fine for me until my boyfriend became touchy with my breasts. I started to feel very self-concous about ...
A. 23 August 2010: Boobs are boobs... we want to see them all.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is only happy when I eat but it makes me sad when I have to eat!
Q. I am 14 and have trouble eating! I think i am pudgy! my boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves how i look, and that im not pudgy, and anytime i see like family now, they always tell me that i look like i've gotten skinnier, and my sister is ...
A. 23 August 2010: I know that you think you are pudgy, but if you mostly only eat popcorn and spongebob ... thingys, then I guarantee that you would be anything but pudgy. Listen to your boyfriend, friends and family... they are much better judges of your weight and ... (read in full...)
Why can't she see he's not good for her and I'm better for her?
Q. so i met this girl back in early october, 2009, she was with another dude at the time but then broke up with him, we were getting really close and all, she was my best friend and i was hers, after she broke up with that dudes we got really close, ...
A. 23 August 2010: "she said that if it doesn't work out with him she'd be interested in being with me"
That's a flat out lie dude. ... (read in full...)
Is she playing hard to get? or do I really mean nothing to her?
Q. Sorry in advance for the wall of text. Ok so I don't have the best track record when it comes to dating. Many of the girls I asked out in high school simply avoided my advacnes all together. Needless to say I was a little jaded from these girls and ...
A. 23 August 2010: I don't think that you mean nothing to her, but remember that you are a customer and its her job to be nice to you. Interesting that you didn't get an answer either way, but I doubt she was expecting you to ask her out so may have just been a tad ... (read in full...)
Its killing me not to be able to tell him how I feel
Q. I know you probably get a lot of questions like this on here, so I regret to tell you that this is another one of them. I apologize if this seems a little long winded, but I need to get this all off my chest and I've always thought that it's ...
A. 22 August 2010: Yeh, I'd say he likes you and yes you should tell him, or at least hint back that you like him. ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance my straight best friend will fall for me, a teen gay?
Q. I know this question has been asked by many a gay guy, but i was hoping for a more specific answer. My friendship with this guy started rather oddly (he is the same age as me and we have actually been at school together for the past 5 years). He was ...
A. 22 August 2010: Sorry, but you really are wasting your time if he's straight, but I think you already know this.... (read in full...)
Sleeping with Married People
Q. I am lucky: I have it all. I am tall, rich, good looking, athletic, well-educated. I, however, have a problem: I am attracted to married women. I am only really turned-on by being with a friend's (or co-worker's) wife. I love conquering the ...
A. 21 August 2010: Hah! Yeh dude, this isn't a site for jerks... try elsewhere.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is attracted to another girl!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is attracted to another girl. Ever since I found out, it's been making me extremely unhappy. He said that he won't do anything about it, and that I'm obsessing over it. I've been asking him (probably once every day) if he still...
A. 20 August 2010: Shooting from the hip here... You do sound slightly obsessed with this and I don't entirely understand why. If you bring this other girl up every single day then you will lose him.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 6 years breaks up with me almost every week!
Q. I have been with my bf almost 6years now and he breaks up with me every week. We always get back together cos i love him. When ever he doesnt like when i do something he leaves me. I dont know what to do this time? I love him as he is my first ...
A. 20 August 2010: He'll keep breaking up with you as long as he knows you'll keep running back to him. You have to break that cycle. He's obviously getting something from breaking up with you... maybe you run back and apologize endlessly, give him more attention, ... (read in full...)
He keeps our contact at a minimum b/c he is scared and I don't know how to overcome that.
Q. I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago b/c I found out he had a gf back home. We've tried remaining friends, but things have been pretty rough.... This year at Easter, he told me he couldn't handle things anymore, and just needed space. I...
A. 18 August 2010: I agree more or less with OhGetReal.
Your biggest assumption is this:
"I just don't like being marginalized because he is afraid"
He's not afraid... why would he be? He knows that no matter what he does that you'll still be interested in h... (read in full...)
He's my brother's best friend
Q. Okayy, so my brother has this best friend who ive liked for four years. The first year i liked him, i had told him, but he never said anything about it so i assumed he wasnt intrested. Then the second year he had made moves on me while at his ...
A. 18 August 2010: "And idk if him being my brothers best friend has anything to do with it."
Absolutely it does. Whether he likes you as more than friends or not is irrelevant. He knows he can't act on it even if he does like you, otherwise he risks losing y... (read in full...)
My fiance lost his sex drive all of a sudden, one month before our wedding? Help!
Q. I'm looking for any type of feedback if someone is kind enough to help. I cannot talk to my closest friends about this because I dont want to embarass my fiancee. We met two years ago and we are getting married next month, yay! I've NEVER been ...
A. 18 August 2010: Being that your wedding is just around the corner and you've been laid off, do you think that stress could be a factor?... (read in full...)
I'm disgusted by her nipples! How can I get past this?
Q. I have a new girl I really like in every way. Sex has been great. My problem? I am a boob man, and I really love nipples. In particular, I just go crazy over a girl with petite pink nipples that get really erect. Now, they don't have to be ...
A. 11 August 2010: Either grow up and realize how trivial this problem is or try your luck with the next girl. She can't change her nipples and you can't force yourself to like them, so all you can do is be thankful for what you've got or leave...
Not terribly... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to be jelous of an ex?
Q. Is it wrong to be jealous of an ex? When my gf was jealous of my ex i broke off all ties with her. But now that i'm getting jealous of her ex she says i have no choice in the matter and i have to put up with it. She constantly tells me that i have ...
A. 11 August 2010: Double standards is THE... yes THE worst quality to have in a partner. ... (read in full...)
I desperately need to help myself and my friend but am not sure how to start!
Q. hi, im called jade and it might be relevant to know im 18.. i know this is nothing to do with a relationship, but im lost, and im really really desperate for some advice! ive recently finished college and im now on the look out for work, but ive ...
A. 11 August 2010: Get a professional involved!! She needs help and she isn't going to get it over a coffee and a chat, (no offense). You can't take on everybody's burdens... while its admirable, its unrealistic to ask of yourself... and its no wonder you're so ... (read in full...)
How do I return the blow job favor to my girlfriend?
Q. My girlfriend recently decided after 5 months of dating that she wanted to go a step farther and give me a blow job. I tried to lick her and she said it was more of a turn off than feeling good. What can I do to repay her physically? ...
A. 11 August 2010: Just focus on finding the clitoris first my good man... once you can find it every time you explore down there, then you can worry about what to do with it. ... (read in full...)
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