A
female
age
41-50,
*hannon07
writes:i split up with my partner when i was 7 months pregnant. a few months later he met someone else, we always got on really well. after nearly 2 years he split up with her and i wanted him back. he stayed up over christmas an we ended up sleeping together, i wanted to give our relationship another go. he told me that he still had feelings for me but that he cant be bothered to get hurt anymore. he said that he thought he would feel the same for me as he did in the begining but that he dosent. i tried holding on for 2 months but he acted so diffrent with me, i told him that if he dont feel the same for me then dont do this, he said ok and left, we still get on really well and i see him every weekend when he picks the baby up but i'm scared that we will never be able to work this out an i dont want to lose him again. what can i do? i really need help before i lose him completley
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female
reader, shannon07 +, writes (6 March 2010):
shannon07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, i know that all of u are right and i should move on but even though i still go out with my friends regular and i' m in university nothing seems to compare to what we had. i didn't mention tho that i broke up with him when i was pregnant coz i was so all over the place and i was convinced it was over, i know this is my fault and thats what makes it worse. when we tried giving it another go i always felt like it was only me putting the effort it, and when i asked him about it he said he loves spending time with me an loves my company but he just don't want the trouble a relationship brings and that he just don't feel the same way about me anymore. when he picks the baby up on the weekend he stays for about an hour talking to me and says that he talks to me more than anyone but he never opens up and never did but hes always 100% honest with me. he hasn't got any family and thats why i don't want things to go bad between us, i always want to be here for him. he goes a million miles out of his way to help me out, not just with the baby but other things too and i do for him. i know i should be grateful that we have such a good relationship for our child but thats what makes it hard, having to see him, i just don't think that nothing or no-one i meet will ever match up to that and now i feel like i'm being really clingy txting him and calling him regular! i don't know how to pull myself out of that phase!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): thanks guys. i know i really do need to move on now. i didnt say in my first question tho that i left him when i was pregnant an he was hell of a mess, i know i'm to blame for that but yeah we did give it a go and hes always been honest with me, he goes out of his way to help me out with the baby and other things the same as i do for him but i know the 'love ' is not there for him anymore! i'm just glad that we get on so well for our child, i'm just scared that i aint going to be able to move on coz even tho i go out with my friends regular, and i'm in university, i just think nothing can replace what we had
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Sorry babes, he's been very truthfull with you, and I know this is hard to accept. He has tried, but it's been a long time, his feelings for you have changed and he dosen't love you in the same way. You won't loose contact with him, you both have a child to think about. I don't think he wants to hurt you either, but he's not in love with you, he tried, but he dosen't feel it anymore.
Cry because your love is over, be thankful for the child you have, dry your tears and move on in your life, he's not your soulmate, the love of your life is waiting out there somewhere for you to come and find him.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Do your best and give him your love unconditionally.Treat him well and he will not go away.Think more positive.
Sometimes act like the damsel in distress and bring out the man in him.
That's all you can do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): You should accept that you will always have love for him because together you created a child and there is a bond there, but you need to now stop wishing for him to return to you. You were lucky enough to give things another go but he's moved on, he spent two years with another woman, enjoying a new start when all you did was wait for him.
You deserve to start enjoying life again and you can only do this if you want to. When its his time to see your child, go out to a new place and meet new people and start to move on from your feelings for him. That is all in the past and you need to start living for today.
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A
female
reader, 1sincere1 +, writes (6 March 2010):
You really need to try and move on with your life, the fact that you split up when you were seven months pregnant when you needed him the most is enough to realise the relationship is over. I know it's hard but there is no point in holding on to something that is not right and you accepting him behaving differently towards you. I too was in a similar situation a few years ago and realised in the end how much time I had wasted putting so much effort into something that was overlong ago. You end up being miserable and unhappy in the long run which is not good for you or your baby. When he takes the baby for weekends don't spend your free time dwelling on what could've been, take some time out for yourself to learn to accept the situation because it sounds as if you are in denial. I hope everything works out for you and you find happiness in the future.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Yeh, I agree with C.Grant. This really does sound over for good. Looking on the bright side though, its great that you two still get along well, especially for your child growing up. Better to stay on good terms than to keep whipping a dead horse and leave bitter and resentful.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 From what you've said here, I'm sorry to say that it very much sounds like you two are done. You've given him ample opportunity to come back, and he's instead said he's not interested and walked away. I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's time to move on.
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