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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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Which books will improve my vocabuary?
Q. Hey there, I am 25 and since leaving school and university, I have hardly had the time to read books nor really had an interest for them, but as time goes by I find that my English is not as profound and great as it could be and I am starting to f...
A. 31 May 2010: www.thefreedictionary.com is great. Install the free toolbar that they offer and it has a few great games and a new word of the day with definition, example sentence etc. I hate having my internet browser take up a quarter of the screen with about ... (read in full...)
I really love him and want him back, what should I do?
Q. ok im a 15 year old girl. i really miss my ex boyfriend ( we have been separated nearly a year) and i cant get over him. we had been going out about 4 months when my depression got a lot worse and i ran away a few times. i had previously been ...
A. 30 May 2010: You really have to move on because there's nothing you can do to win him back. Just delete his number, facebook etc. get rid of anything in your room that reminds you of him and store it away out of sight. Work on your depression, stay active and ... (read in full...)
He slept with her after we broke up and now she's acting crazy!
Q. I've been having problems with a girl who liked my then boyfriend. Basically she's been a real pain towards me and now that we've broken up she's continued. Last night me and my ex were hanging out and I made him tell me what he was covering up ...
A. 30 May 2010: He was single for 3 weeks and his first experience being back on the dating market was to wind up with a crazy, violent, clingy girl... and you're surprised at his change in behavior? ... (read in full...)
Are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?
Q. This is a very vain question, I'd like to know what guys think of girls with short hair... I've had short hair for a while now and I suit it, but just because I can't pull off long hair, but are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?? I...
A. 30 May 2010: If you can pull off short hair and you like it better then the guys will as well. Short hair makes girls seem more edgy, spunky, confident and self-assured in my opinion. Victoria beckham and Pink both look hot with short hair ;)... (read in full...)
How do I make the next move...?
Q. Please, I need some help here! I like my boss, I like her a lot. I'm 32 and she is 36 both single, you might think that I'm crazy but I don't know, how did this happen to me. The thing is, I can't stop thinking about her. She works 24 hours a day ...
A. 30 May 2010: Yeh, you need to play it cool here because if you start swooning after her she'll think you're desperate and no woman finds that attractive. Don't put her on a pedestal, talk to her as you would anybody, (don't treat her like a boss and kiss up to ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into his flippant comments?
Q. Hi, I need to ask a question without sounding paranoid! It's to do with my boyfriend and whether his opinions are to benefit me or him. We have been together 5 years and there is complete trust between us. We aren't a jealous couple and neit...
A. 30 May 2010: Wow... I clearly still have much to learn about the female mind because those comments seem fine to me... Hes being honest about what he likes but without being insensitive. Seriously, he sounds like he's got a great balance happening. You don't ... (read in full...)
Does a married man flrting mean he wants a fling?
Q. I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not ...
A. 30 May 2010: I'm not married but I know that the act of flirting is so broad and open to interpretation. One persons "flirting" can be another persons "conversation". If he is flirting it could mean anything... Maybe he gets an ego boost from flirting, maybe ... (read in full...)
He sees her as much more than a friend, should I let her know?
Q. Okay, so being the caring friend that I am, i really feel that I need to step in and help a mate, but first I need you guys to help me. Basically, my mate (I'll call him Bob for the purposes of this) has a female friend, Katie (again not her real...
A. 30 May 2010: Yeh dude, just stay out of it for everyones sake. Don't send an annonymous email, they'll work out its you if they have half a brain and then you'll be in both of their bad books. He probably knows nothing will eventuate from their friendship, but ... (read in full...)
Face or personality? What attracts you, guys?
Q. For all of you males out there. Which one of these do you think is most important for a girl to have? beautiful face, nice body or good personality? which one is most important?...
A. 30 May 2010: Yep, looks and then personality.... (read in full...)
Is it fair for him to have gotten me nothing for my birthday?
Q. i have a new boyfriend been with him for 6 months its tough from the begining but we had many good times together . then i started noticing things .. he was very cheap and didnt want to be giving ( very cheap with his money ) and i felt like even ...
A. 26 May 2010: You broke up with him before your birthday and still expected a present? ... (read in full...)
Almost 25 and still a virgin, some advice needed!
Q. Hi there, so I'm 25 in mid June and I'm STILL a virgin. There is a reason why I haven't had sex yet and this will probably seem stupid but it's the biggest hurdle I've ever faced in my life and is absolutely affecting EVERY SINGLE area of my life. ...
A. 26 May 2010: Why haven't you seen a doctor already if it affects your life so much? Is it embarassment? I'm sure a doctor would be able to help immensely or at least refer you to someone who would. I doubt you'd be able to get it up for a prostitute to be ... (read in full...)
I am really falling for this guy but he has not left his girlfriend for me yet, should I talk to him about this?
Q. I Met A Guy 3 month's ago.he was so sweet from the first night.we kissed a lot flirted a lot and had fun for 3 weeks then the sex happened.after sex he asked me if i have a bf and i was surprised so i relied by a SURE NO and asked him back expecting ...
A. 26 May 2010: He's playing you, pure and simple. If you were that special to him then he would have dumped her for you by now. Sorry, but I'm calling this one as I see it.
Best of luck... (read in full...)
I have no idea how to get over him
Q. Hi All. I split up with my long-distance boyfriend at the start of February, so almost 4 months ago. We've maintained contact as we'd really like to stay friends and have spoken every day since. More about that later. It was my 21st birthday o...
A. 24 May 2010: Duh... don't talk to him everyday!
Give it 4 months of no contact and then you can forge out a friendship if you so wish.
Best of luck :)... (read in full...)
Do boys prefer girls that have a tan?
Q. hello aunties and uncles. got a question that I really want answered. do boys prefer girls with a tan? I don't tan at all and I was wondering if boys do like girls who don't tan. I've tried fake tan and the colour was nice and it was a nice even ...
A. 24 May 2010: I absolutely love pale skin and especially redheads. Maybe its because there are so many barbie clones out there, with an inch of makeup, ridiculously high shoes, bleached blonde hair, orange tan, fake lashes and dresses that have to be pulled up ... (read in full...)
Did God mean for us to be together despite his current relationship?
Q. I am curious if those of faith believe that God can make a mistake in bringing two people together? I have been getting to know a man for the past 10 weeks and we are becoming very close. We are both incredibly devout Christians and are sensing that ...
A. 24 May 2010: Wow, even devout christians can be homewreckers? Who knew? Malachi 2:16: “ ‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel.” Can you really get more clear than that? ... (read in full...)
Why do people leave people they supposedly care about?
Q. Why is it that when people are supposedly happy and life is going good. They don't realize things, or realize they are pushing away people closest to them. But when the storm comes they go back to the people that really matter to them and the peo...
A. 24 May 2010: Do you have a specific example or problem? Can't really help when its such a broad, almost rhetorical question...... (read in full...)
Things were great until my friend told him about a fling I had before we were together!
Q. Hi, I have been in am amazing relationship for the past 1 and a half. He is loving, caring, more than perfect, appreciates me, notices me..most things i have never even heard of. He is also pretty emotional but hes the type of guy that needs to ha...
A. 22 May 2010: You've done absolutely nothing wrong and don't think for a second that you should apologize for anything. Let him know that he can either get over it or he can't, but you've done nothing wrong. If he wants to be a baby that's fine, but he should ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this terrible, long term relationship?
Q. ok..here is it....i have been with this guy for about 11yrs now...things are not good....we are not married, because he says i have an bad attitude..oh well...he always has an excuse of why i have not gotten a ring after all this time....there have ...
A. 22 May 2010: Damn... just leave him!! He's using your son as leverage for you to not leave him and that's just despicable. My folks divorced when I was 2 and I turned out ok... right? Didn't I? Oh god! Somebody hug me!!
....
Seriously, you sound tortured... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad at sex?
Q. Almost two years ago i had this boyfriend and he had sex with so many other women. his penis was slightly smaller than average(but i have had small guys before so no biggie) and everytime we had sex he always complained about something. like when i ...
A. 22 May 2010: "i have had small guys before so no biggie"
Classic!
Its about him, not you. Don't stress. Tell him your ex had a much bigger penis and made you come every time within 15 minutes and he'd be questioning how good he was at sex too.
The corr... (read in full...)
He ended a four-year engangement because of paranoia
Q. MY boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years and have always had the perfect relationship, we even got engaged last october.it was so hard getting engaged because our families didnt want us to be together at first so we did everything to get ...
A. 22 May 2010: I think the real question is why after four years has he just suddenly decided that you are lying and that its worth breaking up? What exactly does he think you are lying about?? Something has changed. Maybe somebody said something to him and he ... (read in full...)
Treats me like dirt, U dump him, suddenly he's perfect!
Q. so here's the deal. i was dating my boyfriend (now ex) for about six months. things seemed fine and great until i found out he was getting pictures from another girl and flirting with other girls via the internet. he is a shy guy and like lives on ...
A. 22 May 2010: He hasn't changed. If he gets a kick out of flirting/picture exchanging with multiple girls then he's doing it because he gets an ego boost. If he's acting perfect suddenly, have you considered that you might just be lonely and are dropping your ... (read in full...)
He prioritises his sister over me!
Q. my boyfriend treats his sister more like a girlfriend than me. he buys her really expensive things and treats her all of the time, giving her spending money and he says he's going to go half with her for her tv, it's like it's his daughte...
A. 22 May 2010: I'd do the same for my sister. Partners come and go, but family always comes first. Either get used to it or get out because you can't get between them or you'll find yourself on the curb. ... (read in full...)
They're not fake. Really.
Q. My question involves my breasts. I was really blessed... i guess with my dads metabolism and my moms big boobs. They are 34DD and still growing. i'm 18 and 5'10" and very small waisted. People (mostly guys) think my boobs are fake... how would i get ...
A. 22 May 2010: People are always going to make assumptions about you before they really know you and besides letting everyone feel them there's nothing you can really do to convince them they're not fake. Who cares what people think anyways? If you get all defe... (read in full...)
I need some advice on flirting, please?
Q. Hey, I'd appreciate any advice, especially from any guys, about how to be a good flirt. I'm back in the game after getting over a break up with my ex (we were together for 9 years, broke up Nov '09 after I found out he cheated AGAIN, cried my ...
A. 22 May 2010: Long story short... Make eye contact, look down to their toes then back up again to their eyes. Instantly guys know that you've just checked them out, but you haven't technically done anything so there's nothing you can be embarrassed about. Once ... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of older people think that teenagers don't know what true love is?
Q. Hey i was wondering why do not all, but alot of older people think that teenagers dont know what true love is? and that it wont work out in the end? Because my boyfriend asked me to marry him, I said yes. I am 17 and my boyfriend is about 7 months ...
A. 20 May 2010: There's always going to be exceptions, but a lot of older people think teenagers don't know what true love is... because they don't. You sound very lucky and I hope it all works out for you :) For me personally, I was convinced I loved my girlfriend ... (read in full...)
I can't help but find reasons to let go!
Q. Hi After I got divorced ( a 13 yr relationship) I met a man(7 yrs older) I really liked right away, first we were friends and then we became FWB( it lasted for 2 years) He was clearly using me since he never spoke of having any feelings for me nor ...
A. 16 May 2010: ? There's no question in this question :)... (read in full...)
Will he ever like me again?
Q. Erm I really like this guy and i mean when i think of him my heart goes weird i proper love him. we did go out but his granny died and he wanted to be alone and that was a couple of days after he asked me out and it was like i got my dream boy and ...
A. 16 May 2010: If he really broke up with you because his granny died, wouldn't he be with you now instead of someone else? Just move on and find a guy who's right for you. Delete his number and don't hang around waiting for them to break up because it'll only ... (read in full...)
He pulled out but is there still a chance of pregnancy?
Q. My partner and i had intercourse last week. We both know that we had to be careful but something happened and freaked me out. My partner managed to "pull it out" but has ejaculated by accident after he removed it. Some of it was on my skin, just ...
A. 16 May 2010: If you've been penetrated then there's always a chance of pregnancy. You can get pregnant even before the guy ejaculates, its called pre-cum and while its mainly sperm free there can still be some stranglers that get mixed in with it. There's not ... (read in full...)
She said I was a stalker! Is she mad?
Q. right i like this girl so much . we have been talking for about 3 months and that included text , msn , phone and meeting up . she called me the cutest and sweetest guy she has ever met and she told me when she got to know me better we would talk ...
A. 16 May 2010: Have you blown it? Yes, she's mad. She wouldn't have cared that the whole school knew you liked her before your drunken incident. However now she feels like a fool because if everyone knows that you were keen on bedding her friend, that certainly ... (read in full...)
He's the only person I've had sex with, should I have a fling?
Q. I asked a question on this website nearly 2 years ago whether to stay with my boyfriend or move on, I decided to stay with him. We subsequently moved to a different area. The problem started exactly this time last year where I was starting to have ...
A. 16 May 2010: A fling will NOT make things better, it'll just make you a cheater. If you aren't attracted to him, thats a big thing and its not just something to sweep under the rug. Can you see yourself growing old with your boyfriend? If not, why not just ... (read in full...)
How much effort does it take to text?
Q. I was supposed to go round this guy's house tonight. We talked earlier, and he said he had a friend round and would text me later, when he was free. Only he never did. It's now really late, and I've not heard anything from him, not even a "sorry" ...
A. 16 May 2010: Oh for flip sake, you're angry about one missing text? How easy is it to write a text... sure. But how easy is it to fall asleep on the couch, or have your phone battery die, or drop your phone in a puddle of water. I'm guilty of all three ... (read in full...)
She's spreading her disease all over my social circle so what do I do about her?
Q. My roommates and I recently moved into a new apartment. We know others in the complex, including a boyfriend and girlfriend who moved there for cheap rent, they're old friends of my co-workers. Well that girlfriend is now dating one of my roomma...
A. 16 May 2010: Damn... that sucks. It ain't easy to cut out a tumor like this girl, its gonna get messy. Are you the only one who has these feelings towards her? Would your friends/room-mates stick up for you if you put your foot down or would they stick up for ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to know you will be together before you even talk to them?
Q. Is it possible to know you will be together before you even talk to them? i recently saw this boy at my school and think he is attractive all of a sudden, but i know i have seen him before. I am 17 and i really feel like he could be someone i hav...
A. 15 May 2010: In the movies maybe..?... (read in full...)
Back with my ex, but still feel so lonely, and worry that if he ever left I couldn't start over!
Q. hi I have a problem, I m back with my ex and I feel like this is pushing all the other guys away, many guys who I may like don't dare and talk to me because they already know that I m still with my ex and I will always do, these times I feel trapped ...
A. 15 May 2010: The fact that you're worried about pushing other potential boyfriends away by being with your ex kinda makes me think that you already know that this relationship has an expiry date. Ask yourself who is the cat and who is the mouse in your ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable to expect these things?
Q. I'm a newlywed only married about a year. My husband never learned how to drive and I really would like him to. He just won't do it and won't even try. I am getting really tired of hauling him around places. He takes public transport but compl...
A. 15 May 2010: Should he learn how to drive?: yes
How do you get him to?: put your foot down, set a deadline.. a month, 2 maybe, whatever you think is reasonable and say that you will not drive him anywhere at that specific date. You're married so you're in this... (read in full...)
He played me!
Q. [Moderator note: paragraph breaks were inserted to make this easier to read. Also, ".." was removed from every single sentence. Please use standard punctuation and paragraph breaks when following up. Please.] Haha. Here's the thing. My ex boyf...
A. 15 May 2010: Surprised you didn't just end it sooner but good on ya for taking a stand and getting out of a pointless and toxic relationship.... (read in full...)
Do men use sexual innuendo just as a laugh or because they fancy you
Q. Is sexual innuendo used more as a purpose to tell someone they fancy them or want them. I know that friends probably say it amongst each other comfortably but if a man fancied a woman enough to want to try and sleep with her, would he use it even if ...
A. 20 April 2010: Do it for both reasons... mostly for a laugh tho.... (read in full...)
What's your definition of cheating?
Q. I just have a general question here - wanted to hear what everyone's feed back is. My whole dating life, I have assumed and felt that flirtations with other people while in a relationship is wrong. And by flirtations - I don't mean talking to ...
A. 15 April 2010: Yeh, but one persons flirting is another persons talking... thats where you run into problems. ... (read in full...)
My cousin and I are in love
Q. Moderator note: I suspect your age is not what you claim. yes that is my real age people. it may not look like it but I am. sorry. then what can I do to make it better then? hello my name is as it shows at this time. I got a real problem here ...
A. 15 April 2010: Leaving your wife for your cousin...? You really think its worth throwing away a 12 year marriage for? Have you explored the option of fixing things with your wife, counselling etc? This seems silly to me, your name would be absolute mud. But ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him of my affair?
Q. Dear All In high school, i was blessed with a remarkable guy. But in year 2000 he past away in an accident. I went thru a hard time. I even contemplated suicide but since my family was depending me for income, that made me strong to work and star...
A. 8 April 2010: I think so yes :(... (read in full...)
Everyone says he wants to break up with me, but he does not do it.
Q. ok well,my boyfriend(ps:astrology belivers welcomed)he is a virgo and im a gemini, he is very demanding and im free spirited. hes passionate im not. we've always worked through it, but lately we've been having some troubles. well in highscho...
A. 8 April 2010: Astrology signs are kinda ridiculous, having said that its interesting when you start noticing similarities between different friends of the same sign. I've found almost all pisces girls are extremely emotional and sensitive, most taurus's I meet ... (read in full...)
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