| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
|
Would this be called cheating the new Gf? If I just asked my ex to strip while we were on webcam.
Q. Is it cheating if? Let's say you have a girlfriend. And you know your ex still loves you and you still have feelings for her, but you don't want to be in a relationship with her, but you drunk call her telling her you love her, and miss her, et...
A. 22 March 2011: Yes it is cheating when you have a girlfriend and you still have feelings for your ex. Aside from that any sexual act is sex. FA... (read in full...)
Do you think the man I am having an affair with is seeing someone else?
Q. Please don't judge me... I am married and am having an affair with a recently separated man. (We hooked up when he was married last year). To give a brief hx, I knew him from the past yet never hooked up. Well we did last year and had sex. I never...
A. 21 March 2011: Hi lonely,
Usually when a post starts out with "please don't judge me" I just roll my eyes and move on. But your next paragraph got me. My heart goes out to you. Having a cold and alcoholic partner is a terrible situation. He is so inattent... (read in full...)
Guys Only: Answer these questions and be completely honest!!
Q. Guys be as honest as you like!!! I'm really curious as i hear many of my friends and random girls ask this. And yes they are all female related Q's haha! 1) What do you think of the girl who wears jeans on a night out, to the girl who wears a ...
A. 19 March 2011: O K, I'll answer the poll but remember, I'm old enough to be your dad. 1) If by night out you mean a date, When a girl wears something special on a date it sends a clear message to the guy that she respects him or at least takes him seriously. ... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to my girlfriend's body. Should I leave her?
Q. Hi. I don't know what to do. Please read the whole question before cursing me and telling me what an idiot I am. You can do that after you've read the question. Well, I am not attracted to my girlfriend's body. We've been together for several mont...
A. 19 March 2011: I Pick option E) Something Else. Get your head straight. You need a fresh perspective. You are so busy looking for a tree that you don't realize that you are in the forest. Stop thinking that you aren't attracted to her. You are. Stop think... (read in full...)
No oral because she "doesn't like the thought that she actually did that."
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 15 months, and we get along pretty good. She is my first girlfriend and I think I love her. One thing is though, I would like the relationship to go farther. She also wants to, but she doesn't ...
A. 13 March 2011: First, Every kid thinks they should be treated as if they were older than they are. Your post shows clearly that neither of you are as mature as you think you are. Fortunately that doesn't affect my answer. So I'll answer as if you were any age ... (read in full...)
I can't get hard when I need to!
Q. hi i have a BIG PROBLEM doing me alot of damages. Ive been in a realtionship for 2 years and the last months i had problems getting an erection when i need to. Or get it really fast and then disapering. My gf broke upp with me then i got a head form ...
A. 8 March 2011: Hey Superman23,
Take some advice from an old guy. Go see a Doctor. Stop questioning your sexuality. You know what you like. There are a lot of health problems that can cause Erectile Dysfunction. And many of them can happen in young people l... (read in full...)
Does acting and looking like a boy mean that I'm a lesbian?
Q. Hi everyone, i have a problem. Both me and my friend had and it goes like this. Both me and my friend are tomboys. We love doing almost everything that boys would do. We are both homeschooled so we get picked on sometimes and sometimes public scho...
A. 7 March 2011: Kiryuu,
No dress and activities don't make you homosexual. Having a sexual attraction to someone of your gender makes you homosexual.
On the other hand calling someone a "lesbian freak" does say some bad things about a persons character. A mo... (read in full...)
He's asked me out on a date but he's so effeminate!!!
Q. Hey, I have been talking to this dude for about a week. Get on great with him! Hes lovely, hes really funny and quite ambitious. The thing is, hes quite feminine, haha. I think hes gay like! And he did ask he out on two days ago for a date. Now ...
A. 7 March 2011: Shadowre,
This is such a stereotype. Gay guys aren't effeminate, they are attracted to men. They are attracted to the same manly characteristics that you are attracted to. There is no percentage for them to appear feminine.
Your guy is o... (read in full...)
What type of girl should I go after?
Q. I have white skin with a light tan, I have medium-long dark blonde hair, I am 13 years old, weigh 40kg and am fairly skinny, I am very bouncy but can change my hyper-ness to help the people around me and will calm when someone needs help and always ...
A. 2 March 2011: g'day,
I have a son around your age, I hope you don't think I'm too old to offer you advice.
I can see from your letter that you have some very good character qualities. You tend to focus on what others need, and like to help them. You ... (read in full...)
Does this married man still have feelings for this woman?
Q. If a man (married) tried to get a younger girl's attention for 2 years, but felt he got turned down by her because she respected his marriage, will he still have some feelings for her? What if he started to ignore her and gave his attention to her ...
A. 2 March 2011: The younger girl said no for a very good reason. That reason being that the married guy is a shameless womanizer. The younger girl should stick to her decision, and avoid bad relationships with untrustworthy people. The younger girl is probably ... (read in full...)
Ex ignores me after initially crying to be friends
Q. Ex broke up with me a month ago...went into no contact right after. She cried about being friends and I said no since I still had feelings. We dated for 5 years and were each others first...in everything. i knew I was going to see her at the c...
A. 2 March 2011: Buddy, You are making the right choices. You initiated no contact, that was right. You don't want to be led on by false hopes. That is right again. You are not yet ready to return to a friendly relationship with her. Give it at least anot... (read in full...)
He's 38, and I'm 21. Someday I would like to have kids, but he doesn't think he wants them. Should I stay?
Q. I am 21 years old and have been with my 38 year old boyfriend for over a year...we live together and get on sooooo well. He never upsets me, treats me like a princess and I love him to bits. The problem is, I would like to have children in the ...
A. 28 February 2011: Daniellea,
You love him to bits, you get on Soooo well, he means everything to you, BUT, you don't think it will work. It seems that you have been thinking this through pretty well.
At 21 you are probably thinking marriage at 25 children f... (read in full...)
Am I addicted to smoking after two puffs on a cigarette?
Q. Hey, On saturday, i went to a party with all my mates, there was one girl who was smoking and made me take a puff, i ended up taking two puffs. All today i have been craving a fag and i was going to steal one from my sister. Am i addicted now...
A. 28 February 2011: Not wanting to be a smoker is the most important thing. Nicotine is a powerfully addictive substance. But just like people all over the world you can break that addiction. The longer you go without smoke the less you will want it. It will be ... (read in full...)
Ex ignores me after initially crying to be friends
Q. Ex broke up with me a month ago...went into no contact right after. She cried about being friends and I said no since I still had feelings. We dated for 5 years and were each others first...in everything. i knew I was going to see her at the c...
A. 28 February 2011: Actually your account is a very good example of how the "no contact" rule works. She initially wanted to maintain an attachment to you. Many people keep unhealthy attachments. Going no contact for a month, allowed her to focus on her new ... (read in full...)
My stomach grumbles and makes these funny noises...and its SO embarrassing...its killing me
Q. I have a big problem at. My stomach makes noises all the time in class. The cause of it is because I get so nervous and worry about it growling or something and then it does it. When the classroom gets quiet I start getting nervous and worrying and ...
A. 28 February 2011: Oh the agony of being a teenager! The body growing and changing. The pressure to conform and to be attractive. There are no little things.
Let me tell you a secret. No one is listening to your stomach. Do you know why? Because, they are too ... (read in full...)
Is it risky to use coconut oil or butter for vaginal lubrication?
Q. Will using coconut oil or butter for vaginal lubrication be unhealthy or risky?...
A. 28 February 2011: With the variety of excellent water based, made for the purpose, sexual lubricants out there, why would you want to use kitchen supplies?
Two things to think about. If you are too embarrassed to buy a sexual product, you are probably not mature e... (read in full...)
Is it abnormal to be extremely jealous of my boyfriend's guy friends?
Q. My question is, is it abnormal to be extremely jealous of my boyfriend's guy friends? I get highly annoyed when my boyfriend talks about how he "bro'ed out" with some guys. He sometimes tells me he needs a guy friend to just relieve stress. I'm ...
A. 23 February 2011: While I shy away from the word "normal", I would like to say that being jealous of anything that he spends his time with is pretty common. i.e. many girls have similar jealousies.
Jealousy of Hobbies, friends, family, church, in short anything... (read in full...)
Do female stimulating gels work?
Q. we are planning a sex getaway and would like to know if anyone has used female stimulating gels and if they work. I would like to have a good time but mostly have her have the time of her life in bed. please help......
A. 23 February 2011: Shy,
I'm in your age range, so I guess I can understand why you ask. We've tried several, with varying degrees of success. Most of the products available are meant to be applied to the clitoris, and are some form of chemical irritant. Since my... (read in full...)
I warned him before I deleted him, and now he's mad at me! Can someone please explain this??
Q. Hi, First, a little background: My ex and I went out for a few months a year and a half ago. I broke it off because he said he was falling in love with me and at the time I didn't feel the same way. Anyway, we ended up becoming friends and a co...
A. 17 February 2011: He's not mad at you, He is tired. He is tired of your Come here / go away / come here / go away. He is tired of not knowing where he stands with you. He has another relationship and he doesn't want you to mess it up. That is what he meant when ... (read in full...)
After 21 years of marriage my wife wants out
Q. Four days ago my wife told me she wants out of our 21 year marrige. Said she has not loved me that way in over a year but tried to make it work. She said it is all her, not me. She will not talk to a professional or even our pastor about this. She ...
A. 17 February 2011: Dear Sad,
Thanks for the update. I'm sorry to say that as long as she is unwilling to even discuss the problem, the chances for resolution are low. The pattern looks bad, Which is the reason for the advice you have been given. I must agree th... (read in full...)
In the heat of an argument I slapped him!
Q. Okay so I posted a question earlier...It was a long story so I will make it short. I have been with a guy for six months, we are sooo into each other although there have been some issues. Valentines day didn't turn it good at all, it was terrible...
A. 17 February 2011: In light of what I have written in the past and even this morning, I feel bad saying that guys just see this differently. What I really mean is that this guy is seeing this differently. He knows that bad things have happened, but he doesn't see ... (read in full...)
What does "you almost melted on me" mean?
Q. Hello I am wondering when a guy says "you almost menlted on me" to you what it means. It was said because I said to him I liked him kissing my neck and rubbing my back.. and he said something like ya..you almost melted on me...
A. 17 February 2011: It means that you really relaxed when he massaged you. What he was saying was, "I know you really liked it, Your body just told me."
Personally I always feel successful when someone melts on me, it's a good thing.
FA... (read in full...)
How can I find out if boyfriend is watching porn?
Q. Other than the history, how can you find out if porn is being viewed on the internet? or webcams being viewed? boyfriend vows that he hasn't been watching it anymore, but how can I be sure? He lives with me and uses my computers, I have thought ...
A. 17 February 2011: Your home, your Computers, you can use network magic.
It still bothers me quite a bit that you don't believe his word on this. In other words why are you in a relationship and live with someone who you don't trust?
In the end if he is sma... (read in full...)
Need some gift ideas for our first anniversary for both of us to enjoy together..
Q. Me and my boyfriend are about to celebrate our one year anniversary. We have decided that for every anniversary we are going to buy sexy gifts for the two of us to enjoy together. I need some ideas on what to get. I plan to get some nice lingerie ...
A. 16 February 2011: Soadroker,
Keep it small the first year. This thing can get out of hand if every year it has to be bigger and better than the year before. (I'm looking at this from the other end of 25 years)
FA... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my boyfriend get over his emotional affair?
Q. I've been in love with my boyfriend (ex-fiance) for the past four years. I recently discovered that he has been having an emotional affair with a girl he went to junior high with years ago. I have not read all of the emails, but the glimpses I catch ...
A. 16 February 2011: I have a little different take on this and after reading the answer of Cerberus, I'm not entirely sure why. Here at Cupid we only get one persons side of the story. Often one persons interpretation of what the other person said. How one person is ... (read in full...)
Why does he always have to be an idiot? I want him to feel guilty!
Q. Wow, I just read most of these responses to columns about boyfriends who forget their girl's birthdays. I have to admit, my boyfriend isn't that much of an asshole. I guess reading these responses makes me feel better about my situation. It's 4:12...
A. 14 February 2011: I understand better now. I thought it might be helpful to say one other thing to you.
Aren't you glad that he treats you differently than he treats his exes? It looks like, to me, that he is making a break with his old lifestyle. I think th... (read in full...)
Why does he always have to be an idiot? I want him to feel guilty!
Q. Wow, I just read most of these responses to columns about boyfriends who forget their girl's birthdays. I have to admit, my boyfriend isn't that much of an asshole. I guess reading these responses makes me feel better about my situation. It's 4:12...
A. 13 February 2011: Weeby
From my point of view you are pretty needy. He didn't forget your birthday. He went out and bought a present and had it wrapped. He probably planned on a pleasant surprise for you some time today. You have thrown that all in his face bec... (read in full...)
Pregnant again by my married lover, and I'm not sure that I want to have the baby!
Q. I dated a man who I fell in love with. We had a baby last year. During the time that I was pregnant we had a falling out and he started seeing someone else and married her. I was a complete fool and had sex with him again. I am now pregnant again. ...
A. 13 February 2011: Dear Can't Sleep,
I know how difficult it can be to be a single parent. Taking care of 2 young children can be exhausting. Having no support at all from the father is devastating. I can imagine how alone you must feel.
If you really feel ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and my boyfriend doesn't want me to have the baby.
Q. I'm 4 months pregnant my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and I don't want to. Me and him have been fighting over it every night. When I first told him I was pregnant he was happy but now he doesn't want it. He said when his child is born he...
A. 13 February 2011: Of course he is scared. He is facing 18 years of child support. Right now he seems willing to do anything to avoid that. He is trying to bully you into saving him from that fate. He really should have thought about the consequences before he got ... (read in full...)
Baby in June and we need some names!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are having a baby in June and we need some good names for it . I all ready thought of the names Patrick after Patrick Swayze or Morticia after Morticia Addams . But we can't decide. ...
A. 13 February 2011: Never met a Patrick I didn't like. I also have a friend named Tisha. (not mortisha).
FA
... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and my boyfriend doesn't want me to have the baby.
Q. I'm 4 months pregnant my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and I don't want to. Me and him have been fighting over it every night. When I first told him I was pregnant he was happy but now he doesn't want it. He said when his child is born he...
A. 12 February 2011: In the most serious way, you need to be told this. I hope you are just scared enough to listen.
Get an attorney. Get a restraining order. Run and hide. Do not spend another night with this person. Your life is in danger. This is not cute... (read in full...)
Baby in June and we need some names!
Q. Me and my boyfriend are having a baby in June and we need some good names for it . I all ready thought of the names Patrick after Patrick Swayze or Morticia after Morticia Addams . But we can't decide. ...
A. 12 February 2011: Morticia is a very loaded name, I'd be wary of using it. On the other hand according to the census bureau's website Howmanyofme.com there are about 1500 Morticias in the United states. Celebrity names are an interesting choice. I'm certainly glad ... (read in full...)
What do guys think about little breasts?
Q. Alright here it goes: so i don't have the biggest breast in the world. There close to a B. Big breast do not run in my family at all. I mean my mother is an A36. I just want to know what guys think about little breast. ...
A. 11 February 2011: The most honest answer I can give you is that men like breasts. All breasts. Generally we learn to love and desire what we become most familiar with.
The old saying "more than a mouthful is a waste", is certainly an indicator that there ar... (read in full...)
Should I let my family back in my life?
Q. My father died before I was born and I've never met any of his family. I was an only child and was brought up by a loving mother, who passed away when I was 21. Strong and no nonsense woman as she was, she was the pillar of our family. Their si...
A. 11 February 2011: I'm probably the wrong one to answer this because unlike you I have no need for a big family. But, some of my acquaintances have some pretty dysfunctional families. I have seen situations just like yours.
My advice is to take it in baby ste... (read in full...)
Is it okay if my boyfriend licks me all the time?
Q. My boyfriend keeps licking me is it ok ? I'm 18 he's 23 I do love him and he likes doing it. He licks my stomach my neck and my arms and I do enjoy it but I wanted to know if it's alright . ...
A. 11 February 2011: Jmtmj,
That was exactly what I was thinking. Except for the toad bit. I mean, as long as he doesn't do it out in public. . . .
FA... (read in full...)
The last couple of years of my marriage have left me feeling rather depressed, and I wonder if I should take a walk on the wild side with the new guy
Q. I am 30 years old, and have been married to my husband for four years, but with him since I was 19 years old. We do not have any children. We are great friends. The problem has been our sex life. He has forced me to do things that I have not wanted ...
A. 11 February 2011: While it is true that generally people are happier if the solve the problems in their marriage rather than divorce, there are some notable exceptions. Abuse is one of those. When you say that he has forced you to do sexual things that you don't ... (read in full...)
After 21 years of marriage my wife wants out
Q. Four days ago my wife told me she wants out of our 21 year marrige. Said she has not loved me that way in over a year but tried to make it work. She said it is all her, not me. She will not talk to a professional or even our pastor about this. She ...
A. 9 February 2011: With no more information than that, I would say that she needs excitement. You can probably provide her with that better than someone else can. She just doesn't think you can. You are both going to have to stretch yourselves to make it work. It ... (read in full...)
My wife's ego-devastating details of her sex life with her former Latin lover have led me to have terrible feelings of inadequacy and resentment...
Q. I am in need of some advice. Background: I have been married to my wife for 13 years. She ended things with her previous boyfriend to start dating me. Shortly after we became intimate she implied that her former Latin lover (almost every wo...
A. 9 February 2011: I think the women's answers are probably more comforting to you, but I just wanted to add my vote.
You have 13 years of evidence that she finds you more than adequate. If she told you that her ex stunk, she probably meant that on more than one... (read in full...)
Should I tell my internet lover's husband about us?
Q. Ok to try to make this as short as possible i met someone on myspace had a internet relationship with her fell in love with her and now i found out that not only is she a total fake but she is married. Right now i am debating on whether to tell her ...
A. 9 February 2011: The words that you use to describe her indicate that you have lost all respect for her and that the relationship is over. In what way will you be happier if she suffers more? Some times when we are miserable we lash out in an attempt to make ... (read in full...)
From a mans perspective, how important is it that a marriage proposal is a surprise?
Q. From a mans perspective, how important is it that a marriage proposal is a surprise? Does it ruin it if she knows all the details (even if you told her?) I know everything about my boyfriend proposing to me this month, including the ring, when, ...
A. 9 February 2011: Never mattered to me. Some people are just more theatrical than others. Some people unwrap their presents before Christmas. They don't need to be surprised to be happy. Obviously your guy knows that you don't need this and would rather be ... (read in full...)
There will be no communication for 9 months but he can't accept it and we keep fighting about it!
Q. We are a young couple in love, hes more than likely proposing this summer. We are the cute high school sweethearts. I chose to go to a Christian college for 9 months, which means no communication with him. You spend your entire time focused on God ...
A. 9 February 2011: I guess I just don't understand what a "Christian College" is. Obviously not a 4 year program, or a coed university.
Aside from that, which is mostly my curiosity, it seems as if you two are, to use the biblical term, unequally yoked. If he de... (read in full...)
There will be no communication for 9 months but he can't accept it and we keep fighting about it!
Q. We are a young couple in love, hes more than likely proposing this summer. We are the cute high school sweethearts. I chose to go to a Christian college for 9 months, which means no communication with him. You spend your entire time focused on God ...
A. 9 February 2011: What is he planning to be doing for those nine months so he will be spiritually equal with you when you get back? What else are both of you doing to prepare to start a family?
FA... (read in full...)
| *atherly Advice's friends
These are mutual friends, so *atherly Advice has
added them and they have added *atherly Advice!
|
