A
female
age
26-29,
*iryuu
writes:Hi everyone,i have a problem. Both me and my friend had and it goes like this. Both me and my friend are tomboys. We love doing almost everything that boys would do. We are both homeschooled so we get picked on sometimes and sometimes public school kids say how lucky we are. Well anyway lately i came aross some public school kids somewhere and they say i am a lesbian freak. All because of how i look and act. does looking like a boy and acting like one mean that i am a lesbian or not? Help me please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): no it does not. if you are sexually attracted to women then ok. but personal style does not matter. i know it hurts to get picked on i went through a lot of stuff in elementary and middle school as well. if you like doing guy things then thats fine thats what you like. if its sports or outdoors stuff like hunting or fishing or even not liking makeup that fine. i love all those things and didnt really wear makeup till 1/2 way through high school and im not a lesbian. it is wonderful that you are able to be unique and different, embrace it and i know its hard just laugh off the bullies theyre jealous of your independence. and dont ever let what anyone says define you.
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (7 March 2011):
No, looking like a boy doesn't make you a lesbian. The same goes for boys looking like girls.
You are too young to know if your are homosexual or not yet. Anyway, the question you have to ask yourself is "do I like boys or girls?"
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A
female
reader, little_3_eyes +, writes (7 March 2011):
 Are you attracted primarily to other girls? If the answer is no, you're not a lesbian. Being "tomboyish", not wearing makeup & etc does not make a person a lesbian or transgender. I don't think you have anything to worry about. If people are making fun of you, don't hang out with those people.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (7 March 2011):
 Kiryuu,
No dress and activities don't make you homosexual. Having a sexual attraction to someone of your gender makes you homosexual.
On the other hand calling someone a "lesbian freak" does say some bad things about a persons character. A more mature person would be less afraid of someone who is different than them. Maturity is marked by understanding and tolerance, not fear and hate. When you study Psychology and Sociology you will learn more about this and how dangerous it can be in adults.
FA
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (7 March 2011):
 No it absolutely does not! You can change the way you dress anytime you like. But not your sexuality. You either like boys or you don't. You are only a lesbian if you are only attracted to other girls.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 March 2011):
A lesbian is a woman that fancies another woman, and has no attraction towards men.
You're not a lesbian at all. You're just a tomboy, which is perfectly fine.
Try not to take notice of the public school students. They're just jealous that you're having a better time than them, so they're picking on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2011): No, it doesn't. To be blunt. The way you dress or act does NOT determine your sexuality. That's what being a lesbian is - women being sexually attracted to other women. You didn't mention if you like girls or guys or whatever in your question.. But tbh, you probably don't know yet, you're still young. You're probably not having any sexual urges towards guys yet, or girls. That's fine. If you are, that's okay too, people mature sexually at different ages. There's no real way of 'finding out' if you're gay or straight or whatever.. You can just hope that one day you'll 'know'. Maybe you never will. But that's okay too. There are a lot of heterosexual (straight) female models who look like boys, check out some magazines. Some men think they're pretty. Don't feel the need to change because some kids are bullying you, they're probably jealous of your independence and ability to challenge the norm. Embrace being a bit different, it can be really fun.
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