A
male
age
30-35,
*eahBuddy
writes:Ex broke up with me a month ago...went into no contact right after. She cried about being friends and I said no since I still had feelings. We dated for 5 years and were each others first...in everything.i knew I was going to see her at the college meeting…and I did. It was the first time we had seen and talked to each other since the breakup.When she came in…she walked in really fast…head down…I am not sure if she saw me but I think she did she at least heard me because we were only like 2 seats from each other.I had been in NC for one month and change…and I decided to say hey and hug her.Why did I do this? It was a form of me letting go and ridding myself of the anger. The break up wasn’t good but it could have been way worse…she just kinda lead me on and what not.Anyway, the convo was pretty basic…she mentioned a lot of what's he had been doing…which to me could be her saying “yeah everything is fine with me.” As a man, I know I am probably over analyzing everything.I asked her if she wanted to go to get yogurt but she had to meet some friends…i don't know how much of this is true or how much is this her not wanting to talk to me. The interesting point is that during the breakup she reaaally wanted to be friends and cried about it…so maybe she was busy?Lastly, I was cordial with her but once the meeting was up…i left but I was packing up my stuff near the door and she jetted out without saying goodbye and there is no way she didn't see me.I passed her since I was longboarding on the way out and said goodbye and she said good bye and that she liked my longboard.Her avoidance…i know it must be typical…but why? she dumped me and still wanted to be friends but then she seemingly avoids me after not hearing from me for a month in change. I am back into NC and I feel a lot better. Approaching her...really made me feel like I did my part in saying Hey we are done...i don't hate you I am moving on but don't be afraid to talk to me should you reconsider getting back...although I need to fix my issues first. Insights appreciated.
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male
reader, YeahBuddy +, writes (3 March 2011):
YeahBuddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah...I have been doing well. it is like 2 steps forward and one step back. It just sucks to lose someone who seemingly meant a lot to me. Lost my girlfriend, best friend, and first love, but hey thats life.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Buddy,You are making the right choices. You initiated no contact, that was right. You don't want to be led on by false hopes. That is right again. You are not yet ready to return to a friendly relationship with her. Give it at least another month before you have any real conversation with her. If you see her incidentally it is okay to say hi and move on. Anything more is still going to hurt you.It doesn't matter at all whether she is seeing someone else or not. What matters is that she is not seeing you. That is not going to be changing.FA
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (2 March 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps it really is over - for her.
As you have broken up with her, just start living your own life now and having fun with your own friends.
As she seems to have moved on a bit, it's probably wise for you to do the same.
Apart from the meeting the other day, you seem to be moving along nicely.
Don't give it another thought. Try to not dwell upon it anymore. Try to put it out of your mind completely.
Try if you can, to continue on now as if the other night didn't happen. Because up until that point, you were going ok, weren't you?
Take care and best wishes.
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A
male
reader, YeahBuddy +, writes (2 March 2011):
YeahBuddy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs far as i know...she isn't talking to anyone...but yeah i'd rather her ignore more than give false hope.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 February 2011):
Actually your account is a very good example of how the "no contact" rule works. She initially wanted to maintain an attachment to you. Many people keep unhealthy attachments. Going no contact for a month, allowed her to focus on her new relationship. That relationship is healthy and maturing now. She has moved on. You were showing signs of reattaching so of course she cave you the cold shoulder. She is just helping you to get to where she is.FA
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