A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My question is, is it abnormal to be extremely jealous of my boyfriend's guy friends? I get highly annoyed when my boyfriend talks about how he "bro'ed out" with some guys. He sometimes tells me he needs a guy friend to just relieve stress. I'm assuming he means the stress that I put on him, which is funny because I never do anything. If anything, he's the one that puts a shit ton of stress on me, and I just put up with it. I don't even call him out on it. Anyway, that's a different topic. I just get so bothered by hearing about how great it is to hang out with guys. The worst part is, I believe he intentionally turned off his cell phone while he hung out with this one new guy friend of his so that he wouldn't have to deal with talking to me. It really got under my skin. Is there any way of dealing with this appropriately without going insane?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe thing is, I do give him his space. I don't talk to many other people, he's really all I've got. So maybe that is a contributing factor as to why I get really jealous when he talks about how much he enjoys his guy time. Thanks for the responses. I'll try not to get so upset over it...
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 February 2011):
While I shy away from the word "normal", I would like to say that being jealous of anything that he spends his time with is pretty common. i.e. many girls have similar jealousies.
Jealousy of Hobbies, friends, family, church, in short anything that takes him away from you. As you get more experience and maturity, you will realize that his other interests are part of what makes his personality exciting to you. Without those outside influences he would be one dimensional and boring.
About the cell phone thing, I think you should allow him that freedom, as long as he answers your messages when he turns it back on.
FA
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 February 2011):
Well, friends ARE important. Don't you love have girlfriends ? don't you enjoy girls' night out, or an occasional afternoon of girls talk , spent comparing depilatory creams ? And I am sure that there are personal things that you are more comfortable discussing with your girlfriends than with your boyfriend. For him, it's the same.
It's true that at this age males tend to often exceed with the pack mentality- but if your boyfriend can sort of balance his time and attention between you and his buddies, don't be jealous and don't give him a hard time.
And - be honest with yourself . It would not perhaps be , by any chance, that he HAS to switch his phone off if he wants to spent a couple of hours in conversation with a friend, - otherwise you'd be calling him and texting him every few minutes?.... You would not be by any chance one of those insecure girlfriends who need to be CONSTANTLY reminded that they are thought of ,missed , cherished ?
No uh ? You are an intelligent ,independent girl who can love without smothering, right ?.. great- so relax, don't go insane and your bf will appreciate you even more.
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