Like what
she writes?
... Add *handra Mcmillan to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *handra Mcmillan a private message | | *handra Mcmillan's Ratings | |
| | *handra Mcmillan's profile:I am a 20 year old women and to younger people I have not long been through what they are goign through now. However I have had a rough life in some ways. My parents were good to me so i was lucky in that aspect. However I was raped at the age of 14 by 2 men and have suffered with nightmares counceling and even having HIV tests, Luckyly I was clean and I am fighting my past but some are still struggling.
I have 2 teenage step kids and am in a relationship with a man who is 38 I am engaged and we have been together for 5 years in May.
I may not be a doctor, a counclor or even a columnist but I am great at advice and I never judge.
Need any help or advice speak to me and I can try to help you as best as I can |
|
| Latest articles: Rape victims afraid - I am one but I am not frightened.
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 October 2008: At 14 years old I was a rebel a girl who thought she could handle herself, go out drinking, sleep with men and do as she wished. I learnt the hard way, as I journied home I was pulled into an alley and brutally beaten and raped by 2 grown men. They ...
Live Life,Love Life,
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
5 October 2008: The world has changed so much in the past ten years. Children believing that losing weight and not eating is the best thing to do. People getting in to Debt they know they can never get themselves out of. Teenagers getting pregnant and even though a ...
An older Boyfriend and 2 teenage step-kids at 16
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 October 2008: In 2004 after turning 16 years old I visited my sister at Uni and we went out to a night out and started getting bothered by a very drunk and aggressive man. I thought I could handle it but before long he was becoming increasingly rough and ...
|
In love with my best friend (girl) and my ex bf! And now this other guy is in love with me! What should I do?
Q. I'm bi. Thats a huge problem for me. I'm in love with my best friend, a girl. I've been bi for about three years and havent told a soul. My parents are very religous and deeply frown down on bis,lesbians,gay marriges etc.. and it really bothers me ...
A. 29 October 2008: Hi,
I have to say this first of, I am not a religous person even though I was brought up in a Christian Family (Mum and dad steward and stewardess of church) and I have to say that I beleive religeon can cause its own problems when it comes to rela... (read in full...)
I'M SO CONFUSED!!!
Q. My question is, I don't understand whether I love him [still] OR/AND why I'm feeling this way? Here is my story: When I moved [Beginning of school] , I obviously didn't know anyone but i got close to this guy [ill call him batman] who sits beside ...
A. 29 October 2008: Hunny you sound confused ! Batman is a great name better than Mr X In my opinion. You probably hear this all the time and think the same thing I did at your age "You dont understand" but here it is. At 14 your emotions are running wild your mind and ... (read in full...)
We're dating but I feel like the last one on her list of people she wants to be with...
Q. Lately we've had problems with getting in fights over the stupidest things, we have been dating for 8 months and I know in my heart that I love her with all of my heart and she says so to but, either she's not really good at showing it or ...
A. 29 October 2008: Hun as a not so long ago teenager myself I can only say Love survives. You sound like a very sensative boy/man who wants more than just a casual relationship, maybe even more mature than your age (which is good)Your girlfriend sounds like a tipicle ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go now?
Q. hello I have a situation here, and I don't have any idea what to do, I have been with my boyfriend 8 months, he is very sweet with me and he does everything to please me, he is always very busy with work and college but he always manage to make time ...
A. 29 October 2008: Hi, I am writting this as an outsider and I always say the same thing I will never stand at one persons side when the other is not here to deffend themselves and how they feel. However I believe that your boyfriend has comittment issues, this can be ... (read in full...)
Young married couple... headed for disaster
Q. I am a 26 year old married female, mother of a two year old. I have been married 3 years, and it feels like 50! My husband and I dated 2 years before hand and have known each other 6 years total. We have had our ups and downs but lately it feels ...
A. 9 October 2008: I was 16 when me and my partner began seeing each other and he had 2 teenage kids. I would suggest that one night get someone to look after your son a family member or friend even if it just for a few hours. Have a bath do your makeup and dress as... (read in full...)
I want her back more then anything in this world, even after shes hurt me like this!
Q. K so where to begin.... me and my ex dated for a while and we were both in love and she truely was and so was i but i didnt show it enough, and one day we got in a huge fight and i said really mean shit , that i didnt mean. anyways we broke up for...
A. 9 October 2008: This girl sounds like she needs some space, from men in general not just you and her ex. Just tell her you still have feelings for her but you respect that she wants to be alone. She will know then that you support her and do truly care for her.
I... (read in full...)
We broke up because he had some really strange fetishes, are there others out there who enjoy these?
Q. My exboyfriend of 1 yr and I just broke up. He was into some really strange fetishes and over time I agreed to participate in them...things like spanking him, using a strap on with him, peeing in his mouth while he performed oral sex on me, and then ...
A. 9 October 2008: You know this is nice to hear I know It sounds like a stupid comment but people do not experiment enough. I would say that spanking and slapping of the face is a common fetish and many men and woman like it. Some men like using dildos and strap ons ... (read in full...)
How different does orgasm feel in comparison to ejaculation?
Q. My boyfriend has endured a back muscle injury and for the last while has not been able to ejaculate during sex. He said that he is able to orgasm. I am wondering if this is true because according to online information, orgasms without ejaculation ...
A. 9 October 2008: Men can orgasm with out actually cumming. A lot of men come in tiny amounts and you and he wont notice. Dont worry about it if he says he is having a dry orgasm he probebly is,Sex feels great and somtimes you yourself will find you dont actually ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my wife from being so controlling?
Q. I am married since 1976, my age was 16 and my wife 9 months older than me. We have matured daughters 28 and 24 aging one is married second is likely to be married in a few months and one son 21. My wife does not allow me to talk my parents, ...
A. 9 October 2008: Hun as a woman speaking about another woman your wife sounds like she is a controle freak. You have as much right to speak to your family as she has to speak with her own.when you became husband and wife you married the families as much as the both ... (read in full...)
I am in a gay relationship but I cum after a couple of minutes, how can I last longer?
Q. I am gay and I have had a boyfriend for about 3 years now. We have sex quite a lot, but at the moment I have been cumming really quickly. I mean without being so graphic, I tend to do it to him, but I have been cumming really quickly, I mean like ...
A. 9 October 2008: Hun weather gay, straight or bi men have this touble a lot. So dont think your alone.
You can use a technique simular to pelvic excercise. When you have a stiff penis squeez your bottom together and use your muscles to lift your penis. Do this as m... (read in full...)
He always told me he never wanted to try anal sex but now he's desperate to do it! What has changed him?
Q. a little confused. need some help. me and my husband have been together for three years. he has always said he would never try anal sex and has never even thought about wanting to, but all of the sudden he wanted to do it. He didnt come out and ask ...
A. 9 October 2008: Hun Men and women sometimes just get the urge to try somthing new, weather it is anal sex, role play or anything else experimental. I would say from experience anal sex can be pleasurable if your in the correct position however it is a painfull ... (read in full...)
Why am I cumming so quickly???
Q. Ok I need an honest answer from the ladies and guys if you have been in my situation.. Basically I'm cumming pretty fast lately, like 2-3 minutes, and it's becoming a habit. Which is weird because I used to be able to last longer. But now I cant. ...
A. 8 October 2008: You can try anything in the bedroom and your girlfriend will most likely enjoy both oral sex as well as using your fingers or even sex toys. I know you said the question is wrong but there are things you can do to help with your stamina, if you want... (read in full...)
The anxiety is ruining my relationship and my life, help please
Q. hello everyone, I have a problem that at this point in my life I don't know how to address, I have allways been a very logical, analytical but very very anxious person, recently I am starting to realize that my anxiety is taking a turn that is ...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun, anxiety is so bad and with them usual you have paranoya and panick attacks. Try to find methods of coping with stress, keeping a journal helps write how you feel every day and then burn the paper after you have written everything you feel, as ... (read in full...)
Did my ex return to me because I paid someone to do spells??
Q. this is a bit of a random question but, i broke up with my ex last year and even after having no contact from all that time i couldnt move on, although he had, so i decided casting a few spells would bring him back to me, i payed someone to do it, ...
A. 8 October 2008: Love spells are somthing that really should not be used! and any witch or person who practices magic should know that any love spell can be grey Magic, This means it can go both ways of good and bad. So you mayget back with your partner but find you ... (read in full...)
How to build a family if my husband is too focused on his son?
Q. We started dating almost a year ago and are going to marry. i Love my future husband and have promised him that i will never leave him, because he has been much too scared that i could leave him like others did. I want to follow my words and stay ...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun, My partner has 2 children to his ex wife and spends a lot of time around them and her. I know it feels like a love triangle sometimes between you him and his ex but kids do make things different. It should make you happy to know that he is ... (read in full...)
When we broke up he went on a date with someone else. We got back together, but when I found out I was so hurt I want to break up again!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 years. We broke up for a week, he went on a date with another girl and then asked me back out. I went back out with him before I found out that he went on a date. I just recently found out and called him ...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun, I have to be hard to be kind.
What did you expect.
If you have been dumped friends and family tell you to just get back out there have another date take your mind of off it, If the break up was a bad one and there was somthing in his mind tel... (read in full...)
He says spending less time together will save the relationship. Is he being honest here?
Q. My bf of 7 months, said to me the other weekend that we need to spend time apart so like instead of me seeing him everyday i will see him on the weekends, tuesdays and thursdays and sometimes fridays nites after we both finish work,we use to argue a ...
A. 8 October 2008: Listen hun this is something that has no reall answere either he is a cheat and he wants you and the other woman or he is a straight up guy who is spending time with his son (which means he has to see his ex) and wants you to still be a good couple. ... (read in full...)
What's your definition of love?
Q. Can someone please define love for me? Because I have this strong feeling for someone and I don't know if it's love or just infatuated love *-) xxx...
A. 8 October 2008: Love is breathing,
Love is Crying,
Love is Laughing,
Love is the butterflys in your stomach,
Love is everything,
Love is Love and there is no other deffenision.
Sorry but everyone feels Love differently
Hope this helps you
Good Luck.... (read in full...)
What's the best thing to do when you get slagged off at school all the time?
Q. What do you do when you get hurt by people slagging you a lot at school? xx...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun I was bullied at school for years called all the names under the sun and involved in fights because of it,
Please dont do as I have, I know people say RISE ABOVE IT, IGNORE THEM and you think "It is not as simple as that" But that is all you ... (read in full...)
I want her to be with me but I don't know what to do or say. She feels we're drifting apart. Help please?
Q. I'm 14 years old, my girlfriend and I have been together for about 2 months now. She told me just yesterday that she feels we're "Drifting Apart". She doesn't know what's happening or what we can do to help it. I love her so much and she says she ...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun,You are young and this is somthing that will happen a lot in your relationship even if you and your current girlfriend stay together. I think you have a great writting style and I think you enjoy doing it. Write her a letter (I know very old ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed vibes from him but I like him a lot.
Q. Hoping people can help me here. I like a guy a lot and am getting mixed vibes from him... not sure whether he likes me or not but seems like he does. Today I got a long email from his buddy pretty much asking me to contact him. Is this guy trying to ...
A. 8 October 2008: Listen it takes a while to know what men are thinking and visa versa with woman for men. I would actually say see where this goes with his friend and if it seemes that he is trying to get you interested in his buddy let his buddy know you are more ... (read in full...)
I want her back more then anything in this world, even after shes hurt me like this!
Q. K so where to begin.... me and my ex dated for a while and we were both in love and she truely was and so was i but i didnt show it enough, and one day we got in a huge fight and i said really mean shit , that i didnt mean. anyways we broke up for...
A. 8 October 2008: MAN, I know that you see this as her hurting you but I have to say and I dont judge. The attitute you have shown and admitted to yourself "Saying really mean shit" and "Dont talk to him anymore" this makes you seem very controling and no doubt this ... (read in full...)
I have images of g/f's past haunting me, and I can't stand it!
Q. Please help me. My gf’s past is haunting me. I have images of it everyhour everyday and its killing me inside! We are in a long distance relationship but I go see her every three months. From the start, my gf has been very honest with her past. Sh...
A. 8 October 2008: Hi, I would actually say that your dirlfriend is not actually keeping her options open. I know It has taken her a while but she did say no in the end. It sounds to me that this Bad Boy she was once with had a controle over her and still has. She may ... (read in full...)
When I look in the mirror I think I'm ugly.
Q. hello....... now that I'm growing up and all... i am starting to think I don't look as good as I used to... I used to be able to say I was cute... I never bragged about my looks... but when I look in the mirror I say I'm ugly and someone will say no ...
A. 8 October 2008: Hun, I am telling you this without even seeing you. Many people women especially believe that they are unatractive or overweight or both.
you sound like you want to talk to someone and I think that speaking to a proffesional would be the best thin... (read in full...)
My two friends are putting me in a fix!
Q. Well im 14 and There is this guy (15 years old) who ive liked for a few years and i still really like him.. We stoped talking last year when he found out i liked him then things were sorted out in May between us but we didn't start talking until ...
A. 8 October 2008: Friends can cause more problems than anything else especially in your teens. I can really only say that if your 2 friends have fallen out you should not feel like you are stuck in the middle. Spend time with them both and tell them to their faces. ... (read in full...)
She loves alcohol the way she loves me.! She needs therapy far away but wants to be with me! Advice?
Q. I know how this is going to sound. How many times have I heard that "She's different when we're alone!" and "I know it's bad, but I love her!" and "She'll change!" speech? I don't know, but here's mine. So, my girlfriend is a horrible alcohol...
A. 8 October 2008: All problems around drugs and alcohol are difficult and most councillors would say that you should not see her and let her get her head together. However I think this would actualy make her revert to her old ways with drinking and coke snorting.
S... (read in full...)
Do we have a future together?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the last 8 months, he is a very good guy, he does everything to make me happy and the sex is honestly great, we both get along really well... At the beginning of our relationship we was living 2 hours apart, and...
A. 8 October 2008: I think you have answered your own question to be honest. Your boyfriend is at college and working so it is no wonder when it comes to planning he gets it wrong and changes his mind.
If your doubting the relationship then there is somthing abou... (read in full...)
How can I improve our weird relationship?
Q. Hay everybody, I need advice because I really don't know what to think anymore. There's a guy in my class (let's call him Mark) who acts really weird. I'm not sure if he hates me or he likes me. We're both 18 years old. I like him because he's...
A. 8 October 2008: Luck Honey, Men can be strange at this age aspecially if there quite popular at school. You may find your attracted to him for his looks and his bad behavior. He's the Bad boy! I was the same.
You can not change the way you feel and I would not ... (read in full...)
I don't get engaged in conversations as I am too shy to raise my opinion or even chat! Help!
Q. i am incredibly shy and do not get involved in conversations with my girlfriend or even some of my best friends because i am too shy to raise my opinion or even chat. my social life is in ruins because of my shyness and i am good in most subjects...
A. 8 October 2008: Do you know somthing, I have to say this first SCREW THEM. It is nice to hear that there are still people out there that are edjucated. You are not a Geek unless you like being this known as that.
There are no cures to shyness but what I would say ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and have never had my first kiss or a boyfriend.
Q. I am in college and have never had a relationship. I've never had my first kiss or a boyfriend. It's scaring me a bit because lately I've been thinking of myself as undesireable. It's not as if I'm drop dead ugly, I honestly don't know what it is ...
A. 8 October 2008: Honey, You should be proud that your still pure, some girls loose all their innocence at a really young age and trust me that makes you feel worse when your older.
You will get a kiss, a boyfriend and have sexual contact with someone but when it h... (read in full...)
Does sex disappear in all relationships?
Q. hey i have been with my girlfrind for 9 months ( this is my first serious relationship) to cut the story short.. the first 3 months where great in the bedroom now its none existant!! is it me?? or do all relationships turn out like this?? or has she ...
A. 7 October 2008: I think that in relationships sex can be different for all different people. If it is your girlfriend who doesnt seem to want sex, talk to her about it. Has there been any other changes, has she had a baby?Gained weight?Had something said to or ... (read in full...)
I used to last for 45 minutes... now I'm down to 5 and embarrassed! Help!
Q. So, my fiance and I use to do it like rabbits.(we did it for 100 days straight almost!!) Its died down a bit which is normal. My problem is, I use to be able to have sex for a good 45 minutes or so, now I last no more than 5. She is getting very ...
A. 7 October 2008: Hi, when you have been sleeping with one person for a while the womans vagina moulds itself to fit your penis and this is why some men ejaculate much much quicker, because the penis hits the cervix much much easier.
There are excercises that you ... (read in full...)
No symptoms but late period....could I be pregnant?
Q. Im 24. In the middle of august I had unprotected sex. I thought I could of been pregnant but I came on my period on 5 september. The period was a lot shorter and lighter than usual. I didnt think much of it. Now Im 4 days late for my next one. I ...
A. 7 October 2008: Hi, as I alsways say there is a chance of being pregnant even if you have been bleeding. Some women bleed all way through their pregnancy. There is only one way too know 100% if you are pregnant and that is too take a test either a home test or go ... (read in full...)
An older Boyfriend and 2 teenage step-kids at 16
Q. In 2004 after turning 16 years old I visited my sister at Uni and we went out to a night out and started getting bothered by a very drunk and aggressive man. I thought I could handle it but before long he was becoming increasingly rough and ...
A. 7 October 2008: Julie [bby] I am replying to the question of advice that you have asked. I was very lucky that my parents supported me in my relationship and I can see how you are slightly stuck in what to do. I would say that you have tread carefully, I know you... (read in full...)
Rape victims afraid - I am one but I am not frightened.
Q. At 14 years old I was a rebel a girl who thought she could handle herself, go out drinking, sleep with men and do as she wished. I learnt the hard way, as I journied home I was pulled into an alley and brutally beaten and raped by 2 grown men. They ...
A. 7 October 2008: Thank You Pete it is somthing I strongly am trying to get through to Young girls and as Many boys as I can. As for some reson people believe it is only girls who are raped but we all know this is not the case. I am trying to get schools in my local... (read in full...)
I want to get pregnant very badly!
Q. I was on ortho tri cyclen for four months, I decided to stop because it was making me very emotional and tired all the time (wierd). One month later to this day I have been having light periods (seven cycles to be exact). I took a pregnancy test ...
A. 5 October 2008: I would advise you to speak to proffesional for eg a GP. A good thing if you are serious about having a baby is not to try too hard. The more you wish and prey the more your body will rebel. Take Folic acid tablets like pregnacare to help you get ... (read in full...)
I am afraid that people will give me a bad time at school because she's a bit big.
Q. right, there's 2 girls that fancy me. They're both friends. I like one of them but I am afraid that people will give me a bad time at school like people calling me and stuff, (because she's a bit big) and she won't go out with me or doing any thing ...
A. 5 October 2008: Hi, You have to ask yourself the question, IF YOUR SUPPOSED FRIENDS BULLY YOU FOR HAVING A CHUNKY GIRLFRIEND DO YOU CARE? If you really like this girl and she likes you then the size of her should make no difference.
I struggled going through scho... (read in full...)
Is this abuse? Should I get out of my relationship now?
Q. Should I get out of my relationship now? I am currently taking a break from my relationship with my boyfriend because I am working on issues from my past. My question is if he is abusive. Since we've been together for about 7 months a few things ...
A. 5 October 2008: I would say that like all relationships there are two sides the story. To you he may be a bit controlling but to him he may feel like he is trying to protect you. You sound like you may be suffering with depression or stress and somtimes you ... (read in full...)
Why do girls give oral sex?
Q. do girls give guys bj's because they want to or do they just do it to make the guys feel good in a relationship...
A. 5 October 2008: I would say like all aspects of sex its about sharing pleasure. To me there is somthing sexy about knowing I am in control of a mans pleasure and my husband loves it.
Some girls do not like it as some men dislike oral sex on girls. It is what you ... (read in full...)
Can I find out who the semen belongs to?
Q. Hello,i recently found out my wife cheated on me about 2 months ago. is there any way i can find out who it was with? if i find semen anywhere in my house can i some how get it tested to see who it belongs to.what if i have a suspect and have him ...
A. 5 October 2008: Jim, I am sorry to hear that your wife has been unfaithful. There is testing that can be done on Seman however, you would need a sample of the collected seman and a sample of the persons you beleive it is. It would cost a hell of a lot of money and ... (read in full...)
| *handra Mcmillan's friends
These are mutual friends, so *handra Mcmillan has
added them and they have added *handra Mcmillan!
|
