A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I have been in a relationship for over four years now. Nine months ago my partner and I moved in together and away from our parents from the first time. We also moved with two mutual friends of ours.My partner has become increasingly more indifferent and uncaring towards me and also just about everything in his life. He has been taking St Johns Wart semi-regularly for a few months now, with some result when he remembers or cares.He attends university in a highly competitive and stressful course which seems to take up all of his attention. I understand that this course is probably a major factor in his problem, as too are our housemates who sometimes feel more like our children. When we moved they had no notion of how to care for themselves and act like mature adults.Basically since moving it feels that we have gained two children and a high-stress career and that our "marriage" suffers accordingly. Even though we are not married, it now feels like it.To ask the friends to leave is not an option, we both love them dearly and they help to cover the rent which we could not do alone. Also it is not an option for him to drop his course. I feel stressed to my absolute limit and my own studies are suffering significantly as a result.I want to be happy again and I want my partner to love me again. We used to have a great sex life, now its pretty slim and only happens when I instigate. I have no self confidence left, I'm lonely and I feel isolated.What can I do to get my relationship back on track? My partner and I have discussed the issue and both strongly wish to make it work.
View related questions:
confidence, moved in, university, want to be happy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, epifanatical +, writes (22 September 2008):
 you need to shake things up sweetee.. instead of waiting for him to change.. YOU change.. stop feeling stressed.. arrange your day so you are enjoying yourself.. take up a interest away from him.. your self esteem and confidence will return..let him see that you are having fun.. this in turn will rub off on him.. and will want to be with you even more when he sees you can lead a separate fulfilling life without him.. too many women put alot of effort into feeling stressed.. we cannot be responsible for the way others behave towards us.. the more you focus on the problems the more it will preoccupy your thoughts.. so let it go.. get out there and have fun.. and watch the positive effect this will have on your relationship.. i wish you all the best sweetee.. you greatly deserve your happiness.. cheers :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Aw I have had nearly the same problem just recently. I think your boyfriend may have moved into a comfort zone. Try and spice things up a little bit like making some changes like do most of the cooking and cleaning etc I know it's hard with your studies as well but men can't do more than one thing at once! (My boyfriend is doing a degree but he still manages to forget where the sink is lol) For the sex life i'd get some nice bedroon lingerie from ann summers or something and suprise him. If you get into too much of a routine then things will die down a little bit. Good luck babe and i hope this helps xx
...............................
|
