A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:well, i got dumped 6 weeks ago for another girl. It broke my heart, i really loved my ex - i think i still do but i know I can never get back with him. For the first couple of weeks I made it known to him and his new gf that I was hurt and wanted him back. He didnt want to know. Looking back in hindsight, this probably made his ego elevate through the roof but I was so upset I didnt care about my self respect, I just wanted him back. He didnt care about my feelings and was quit happy to flaunt his new gf in front of me. This upset me so much that I made plans to move 200 miles away to get over him. I met up with him and told him my plan, I didnt get any type of reaction. But slowly, I began to realise that it wasnt the answer and that I shouldnt give up my job and friends cos of a guy. So lastnite he emailed me asking how i was and if I was still moving away. Instead of replying soppy, desperate stuff that I usually would (which would probably be something like I love you so much I cant handle it etc), I thought no Im not going to let him see how much he's hurt me. So instead I replied very bluntly that I had changed my mind, I had finally wised up and realised what a jerk he really is, and theres no way I would leave my hometown cos of a guy. Now, that was very hard for me to do. But it shocked him. So basically my question is, now that he thinks Im over him (Im not, I just want him to think I am), what do I need to do to pretend I dont care? How do I need to act around him and treat him and his new gf? I dont want to be too nasty as that just aint me. But I dont want to be overly nice cos they will know sumthings not right.....I just want them to think that I really dont care. Any tips?
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female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (25 September 2008):
 everyones ego needs pampering at times and it sounds like your ex is going thru his share right now. You have made it clear in the beginning that you still care and he is FLATTERED by that believe me, even thou he has said he doesnt wanna no deep down in the pits of his consciousness he does. Why do you think he is flaunting his new gf in front of you? To get a jealous reaction perhaps you think? yes, he is fishing for clues from you.
The best thing you can do sweetee is be honest with yourself. Pretending to feel something you dont can backfire and will stand out a mile long. You arent over him, and those are the facts, so dont try to act any different. However, dont seem desperate or clingy either.
You made a good decision about not moving away, we shouldnt make extreme moves over someone else, we should be doing it for our own reasons. Im glad to hear you decided it wasnt the correct thing to do.
The best way to show your ex that you are willing to let him go is live a full life, have fun, take up something you enjoy, meet others, go on group dates with other fun singles. The more he sees you having a great time without him the more he will see his mindgames wont be working any longer. He will be envious of you and the tables will turn. You will all of a sudden seem interesting to him again and he will pursue that. atm he has his eye on you, so its up to you to make yourself desireable in his eyes again. i wish you all the best. :)
A
female
reader, breathless +, writes (24 September 2008):
firstly try to avoid being or going to places you might bump into them if you do happen to see them just a simple hi will be enough and smile at all times,and if your with a friend male/female make yourself laugh loudly so they will hear you,that will leave them wandering and shows you dont care be strong i know how much your hurting
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