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anonymous
writes:Hey, just a quick question - what do younger guys think about the whole 'friends with benefits' idea? Recently I broke up with my boyfriend and although I get lonely and miserable, I don't want another committed relationship for a good while. I want some time out. But I love sex! But all the guys I know want real relationships, and I don't want to hurt them. Neither do I want a one-night stand with a stranger. So, any guys out there who could give me an idea whether guys are up for being friends with benefits ever, and how do I go about initiating it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, just to let ya know, I'm well chuffed cause I ended up shagging a guy I knew vaguely before who is FIT, and now we're friends with benefits! Turns out he wanted the same thing, awesome! Thanks everybody!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): I know what you mean about not really wanting to start something serious while still needing to go wild some times.
I think everybody (or at least I) would go into it thinking how great it is and hoping that maybe it would become more.
But there are a lot of guys out there with kids who are busy with work and kids and just need exactly what you do... A night to remind them that they are alive and someone sweet to prove that to them!
The trick is finding someone you can actually trust and like and want without the fuss of "the rest of it."
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya, thank you everyone for not yelling "SLUT!" at me, I'm glad you understand! I think I will go for it - sex makes me happy, and I'm sure there's a decent bloke out there looking for it. If only I knew how to bring it up in a conversation without raising too many eyebrows! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Make sure the guy doesnt have any strong feelings for you or he could get hurt, usually guys love the idea though. good luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Mmmmm I've had a taste of what you're suggesting. Where a woman goes with a guy because he just wants sex, and puts the one she wants a relationship with on the shelf to pick up when shes ready.
Just make sure you don't run the two in tandem.
Good luck
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female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 well done hunny for putting that anon male right, Some do not read the question properly at all do they...As for the last male anon post what is it with guys who dont understand that women enjoy sex without the relationship attached why is so hard to understand that these days we as women are just like men we want sex sometimes without the guy hanging around 24/7 we just want sex no strings attached simple as that...Men dont get called sluts or tarts they get the good old pat on the back n well done mate..Welcome to the 21st century guys there are many many women out there that dont want a relationship and running down the Aisle dont give a shit if the loo seat is up or down we are normal sexual creatures just wanting the pleasure of sex and hunny if you want a f.w.b then go for it, Sure your not ready to settle you just want some fun but with the same guy, Find a mate who is single and see how it goes love and take no notice of some of these men who laugh it off as A. your immature as that would make most of the male population immature now wouldnt it, B. That you want control fuck that would again make men seem as if they need control all the time And C. f.w.b a made up idea well im just on the floor with that one hunny, LOL!!!!!Listen to diovan she has it all right YOU TAKE CARE HUNNY WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): I know this question was posed at guys but I must really respond to some of the answers that have been given out.
This is the 21st century, women now enjoy and like sex as much as men. We have contraception, we have careers, not every woman is eager for romance, weddings and settling down. Just like men, sometimes we neither need nor want the commitment that a full romantic relationship will bring. Sometimes we don't want to have to talk to someone all the time, we don't want to have to think about someone and consider their feelings. Sometimes, just like a man, we would like a friendly sexual relationship, that promises nothing except what it says on the box. Romantic relationships need time, commitment, love, romance and a whole pile of other stuff, that sometimes we can't be bothered with.
There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man just for sex. Believe it or not, we women can do without a man for most things. But when it comes to sex, well then, yes, sometimes men have uses that can't be replaced with toys.
Not impossible to do FWB.. just very, very difficult, and no it's not stupid, at times it can be very convenient if everybody knows the score.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Lets get this right your friends with someone and having sex with them. Thats a relationship just not a serious/committed one. FWB is just a made up idea.
There are loads of guys out there that would love that LOL, and a few girls that have bought into it.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): Of course there is nothing wrong with having a friend who you occasionally have sex with. The problem is you have to choose very, very carefully. As carefully as if you were choosing a husband. It has to be somebody you like and are friends with. Somebody who likes you and respects you. You both have to find each other attractive. But you have to not have any romantic feelings and know that you are both unlikely to develop any. A very hard task. Friends with benefits is not wrong, but either the friendship suffers, or the benefit thing is not so great. Don't rush into things, look around and find somebody who matches up. If there are good friend and single, it shouldn't be too hard for a young sensible lady like you to steer the conversation round to sex and go from there..
WARNING: It may not work for you, it doesn't work for everyone. You might find yourself embarrassed and ashamed afterwards, so think about this very, very carefully.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRight, male anonymous guy, never did I say anything about how 'clever and in control' I think I am, never once did I say anything about 'throwing myself at younger men'. No I am not having a midlife crisis, I'm 18 matey. And the bit about them being 'viscious and nasty' - that's exactly why I said I didn't want a load of one-night stands. I am not in any way about to hurl myself at the nearest bitchy young man who glances in my general direction. I am actually looking for someone I at least like. And this is not about being holier-than-thou, it's about not wanting to upset someone by being in a relationship when in all honesty I really don't want one.
Right, rant over, thank you everyone else who gave me constructive advice!
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Eh, you are offering sex with no strings and find only guys who want to commit to long-term relationships?
Did you hear that sound? That is 3 billion women screaming at you.
You should make a post about where you find these guy's because it seems every other woman is looking for that place.
Anyway, I would guess most young men, or men of any age are perfectly fine with FWB. The only thing I could imagine is that they might it exclusively. Well exclusive for you anyway. Few men want to share.
Just look among your friends for a guy who ain't getting any and offer it. I would be quite disappointed in the members of my sex if one doesn't take you up on it.
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reader, Mike Wilson7  +, writes (30 September 2008):
i think iz good because u dont hve to commit to anything u can just makeout and stuff wen eva ur feelin a bit horny. Trust i did the FWB thing with a girl for ages.
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reader, happytochat +, writes (30 September 2008):
Define 'younger'. Are you talking teenage you? Early 20s young? ...
I think there are alot of people out there who just want sex, maybe more so guys then girls. But I think the majority of those who want just sex would go for the one night stand over the friends with benefits. This is because a FWB "relationship" may start off just being friends with benefits, but at some point, one person, if not both, will develop more feelings for the other and someone WILL get hurt.
If you are friends with someone, there is going to be emotions involved. If you have a one night stand, its much easier to detatch yourself. My point is, due to not being able to detatch yourself completely in a FWB r/ship, you're going to probably have a hard time finding someone.
I personally dont think FWB are worth the risk of geting hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008): You see yourself as clever and in control,but you sound rather immature. You say younger without mentioning your age. Depends how young youre after laying, but i would expect your name getting around town if youre thinking of throwing yourself at younger men.Some of them can be really vicious and nasty in what they talk about. Are you having a mid life crisis?
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reader, epifanatical +, writes (30 September 2008):
 hmm the only time ive heard that phrase uttered is from ppl having affairs. Perhaps a romantic, no strings attached love affair would suit you perfectly. Lots of women are in friends with benefit types of relationships, with alot in it purely for sex. So why not try it?
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