A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a loving relationship for 5 years and we are both very open minded where sex is concerned but i'm not sure if I've ever had an orgasm. (Please don't reply you'll know if you've had one - that doesn't help). I get to a point where every muscle in my body tightens intensly (sometimes I tense up so much that I actually force him out of me or I get cramp in my legs). This is usually brought on by clit stimulation. But I never seem to get the relief feeling everyone talks about.On top of this I sometimes get the feeling that I need to pee during penetration. I think this might be a lead up to squirting but all the advice I have read says you need to relax your pc muscle to manage this but my body takes over and tenses up so much (in a nice way) and I don't know how to get past this point.
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female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 yes, it does sound as if you are nearly there but not quite there. The tensing up pleasurable sensation you are describing sure sounds as if you are pushing all the right buttons, but you dont allow yourself to reach the peak for some reason.
I think you should try some solo time yourself. Buy yourself a good quality vibrator or dildo, and practice, practice, practice! Go slow, relax, and give in to the build up, only you know when that moment is. Or alternatively, why not try mutual masturbation? like include your partner and "guide" him to what does it for you? Everyone is different, and likes different kinds of stimuli, so just go with what suits you best.
It sounds like you are triggering the need to squirt esp since you tense up alot, this must be causing friction on the sensitive g-spot area, where the squirting build up occurs. There is nothing wrong with letting go at this point, when you feel that "urge to pee" sensation. Just get him to pull out and continue stimulating yourself and just let it go. You might be surprized at how much pleasure you get from it.
In the end, its practice makes perfect. You are nearly there, so just go the extra inch and you should be experiencing mindblowing orgasms in no time! I wish you all the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Hi
I get that very tense feeling in the seconds before I orgasm, then during orgasm that tense feeling changes to rhythmic contractions of my vagina and clitoris and I then feel that feeling of release and relaxation. I have never ever come through penetration alone. What works for me is having sex in the missionary postion and I rub my clitoris while my partner is penetrating me at the same time. It might also help if you masturbate by yourself, when there is no pressure and you can fully relax, whilst you read something stimulating or whatch something stimulating. It sounds like you are just about there, so I am sure it will happen for you.
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A
male
reader, Boredatwork +, writes (22 October 2008):
 It sounds as though you are getting the buildup to the 'big O' but not the release (exactly as you described it), just keep working at it, try not to force one to cum along (pun intended) and im sure you will get there eventually.
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