A
female
age
30-35,
*wenabee
writes:I've been told something, and I just want to know if it's true or not. If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, sex won't hurt. Is this true?? If so, can you break your hymen yourself?? And will it hurt??
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female
reader, Gwenabee +, writes (30 September 2008):
Gwenabee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou ALL for taking the time to answer me, I feel a lot more informed now. And thanks Double M, for the male perspective ;)
And SirenaBlusena?? That Catherine the Great thing made me lol =D
Thanks again!! You've all been a massive help!!
xxxxxxx
A
female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 you can stretch yourself by masturbating with fingers or a small thin dildo. use plenty of lube, relax and take it slow.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): Try poking fingers into yourself to see if you have a hymen (you may not). Use a mirror as well to have a look. If you have a hymen, you can get a gynecologist to cut it for you painlessly. Another option is to stretch youself down there with your fingers.
Sex hurts if you're not relaxed or if you're unaroused (if you don't really WANT to be penetrated) - regardless of whether you have a hymen. Chances are it may be slightly uncomfortable the first time, but less so if you use lube and make your guy go REALLY SLOW. If you go on top, you will have more control of the speed.
Remember to use a condom, preferably one with extra lubrication.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 To put it delicately, er... I think that I'm not the most suitable person to answer the first question. It is true that the hymen can break for reasons other than intercourse- certain sports, such as horseback riding, for example. Believe it or not I still have yet to have sex but I used to ride horses (and hopefully will again, one day when I have the time and money, which I have read can cause that membrane to tear... sitting in the saddle was never excruciatingly painful, though. That makes me believe that there are other things that could cause first intercourse to be painful. If you were Catherine the Great (at least if the legend is true) and had sex with a horse I imagine that would be VERY painful (I love horses but I don't love them THAT much, that's just SICK)...
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 Everyone is different, and every situation is different. There are just too many variables for anyone to say much about this for certain. It was many years ago in my case, but assuming that a number of alleged young virgins told me truth, few experienced much pain at all. But my way was to be particularly slow, gentle and easy if one told me that it was her first time. In my experience (about 45 years so far), most women prefer a manly, yet fairly gentle and caring toss rather than a hard banging most of the time.
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A
female
reader, epifanatical +, writes (28 September 2008):
the hymen is a thin flexible membrane that PARTLY covers the entrance to the vagina. This is so because the flow of menstral periods needs a way to escape every month. Not everyone bleeds the first time, some do heavily and others not so much while there are still other virgins that dont bleed at all. If youve been using tampons, exercising strenuously, horseriding, masturbating, etc, all these can stretch the hymen a little. The vagina is a flexible tube of muscle that is designed to stretch to accomodate anything it recieves. I mean look at how much it stretches when a pregnant woman gives birth right?
As far as pain goes, if you are relaxed, turned on, and lubricated, the pain should be minimal, but like all things, you gotta take things slow and easy the first time, giving the vagina time to fully open up, making sex more comfy and pleasurable.
Most girls are left a little disatisfied with their first time, with alot saying is that all there is? So try to stay away from the hype build up. Sex is special. It should be something that happens between 2 consenting young adults with no pressure and the correct mindset. But this i mean, do not have sex only because its expected of you to. Do it because YOU are ready, and desire it. Also, have you considered contraception? Im assuming you do not want to fall pregnant, so the right form of contraception is important. STD's is another. Make sure you protect yourself. A condom in this case is suitable.
You may want to read up further on these subjects first. I wish you all the best and hope your first experience is one you will remember. cheers !!
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A
female
reader, Gwenabee +, writes (28 September 2008):
Gwenabee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, thankyou so much!! Is there any way that I can stretch myself?? It's just he isn't a virgin, and I want us both to be completely comfortable
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (28 September 2008):
 No, this isn't true. During my first time, I didn't bleed - which, suggests I had broken my hymen previously somehow. But from the bottom of my heart, I thought someone was stabbing me when it happened. Your hymen doesn't effect the 'width' you are down there. You'll need to 'strectch' to accompany the size of your partner - that's what hurts.
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