A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i recently realised that he started going out with my workmate as well, I asked him about it and said he wasn't serious in the relationship, he called the lady on her mobile in my presence and told her its over. My problem is in as much as he says he loves me. Does he really loves me if he can do that to me and should i continue with him? i am really confused, stressed and heart broken. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 He might have made a mistake, we are only human after all. Whether or not you forgive him is totally up to you, but if you do it will be a long time before you trust him again (if you ever can that is). I beleive that you can forgive a person for betraying you, well I say forgive .. but its more a case of pushing it to the back of your mind really. Trouble is there will always be doubts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I agree with anonymous. If you go back to him you'd just be reeling your self in for more pain. If he did it so close to home, then he's bound to do it again. If your not entirely sure, then take a break for a bit, go out and meet people, take a breath of fresh air and look at all of it from a different angle, some times its the best thing to do. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, epifanatical  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 look closely at your relationship, its very hard to place blame on ourselves, but really it has nothing to do with you. Your bf has issues. Maybe he is feeling bored, or a lil devious, I am not condoning his behaviour btw, just trying to make you see it has nothing to do with you.
How are things now? You say he has ended it with her, so he must regret what he has done. Everyone makes silly mistakes in life, and sometimes, we all need a good swift kick up the backside to bring us back down to earth.
Was the relationship sexual? or was it mainly just friendship? The answer to your question whether or not you can continue, is if you are willing to accept that he has made a mistake and can be given a second chance. Is he worth it? Do you love each other? Can you see beyond this to having a future together? have you both learnt some truths about your relationship because of it?
Communication is the key. The only way to move forward is talk about things and follow thru. Also, if you have decided that being together is what you have chosen, then, you need to forgive and stop feeling bitter. Coz, if its left to fester, then its only going to rear its ugly head somewhere further on down the track, so deal with it all now. If, however, you have done your soul searching, and you cannot feel that you can be together any longer, then the best thing is to have a break. Any break up is hard. So do make sure you have chosen wisely. You feel heartbroken now, so just imagine how you might feel when you guys arent together anymore.
So if its to be, then break up mutually and with no hard feelings. Whatever you chose, make sure its what you want, and not anyone else telling you. Look within and trust your intuition to guide you. I wish you all the best :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I think that he is only sorry he got caught. Not only did he cheat but he was so arrogant as to do it close to home... so to speak. Letting him off the hook is giving him a get-out-of-jail free card. When people betray you it hurts but I don't think that getting back together with him will be the quick fix to the pain. Be patient with yourself, go out meet new people and just let him be. I wish you good luck and hope you find the strength to do the right thing.
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