A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years and I don't know what to do. I love him and couldn't imagine not having him in my life but I know things aren't right. I think he seems fine and happy and I know he loves me but we don't really have sex very often and it doesn't bother me. I think about other men and I suppose I want something to look forward to/adventure. I wonder if it's just a case of the 'grass is greener' and the excitement of being single and seeing new people wouldn't be as good as I think. He is lovely and has a heart of gold and I know it would tear him apart if I broke up with him and perhaps this is why I've stayed with him so long. I'm not sure I could actually do it and I'm not even sure id be happier without him. We laugh a lot and generally get on well although we do bicker now and again. I do feel that we have more of a friendship but perhaps there is a way to fix it. We have been together since we were young so maybe this is part of the way I'm feeling. I'm so confused and have been for a long time. My feelings change by the day. Please help. What should I do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 November 2013):
 Confiding in a friend can be very helpful. They see things from another perspective. When in the middle of it you dont know what is up and down. So you are confused. But a friend can see things the way they are, help you see what is up and what is down. Give you perspective. Talk to a friend about this, someone who knows you well (although I confide in my mother and even she sometimes have no clue who I am...)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2013): Ive had a very similar situation to what you are going through. My self andy ex partner met in high school and grew up together went fromHight school to college to working in the big bad world. I personally feel we grew up and grew apart and my feelings were similar to yours i went through a roller coster of emotions of whether i loved him or not for months every day i knew i didn't love him but i was to afraid of being alone and going into the unfamiliar territory of being single! And it literally happened like this ... I woke up one day and i completely realised i didn't love him anymore and it was pointless being with somebody i didn't love anymore. True enough i had developed feelings for another man and this was the push i needed to end this relationship! Every girl can look at another man and say "he's gorgeous" or " the things i would let him do to me" if you are out with the girls are perving around but if you genuinely think this and imagine anything sexual with other men its time to press the big red button on your relationship! People grow apart its natural! Mabye all you need is more commitment from your loved one or mabye routine has become dull and boring to you ! Either way you need to think things out if you are not happy 9 years with that person is long enough but another 3/4 years of time with that person is just a waste of time and something u will regret wasting when you knew at the end of the day it was never going to work out !!
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