A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help! I am stuck in a roommate situation with a former best friend, but living with her has made literally everything she does annoying. We bonded at first about being high strung people back in high school. But she is diagnosed OCD and thus says if everything doesn't go according to her plan, she will stress out. This affects all areas of her life- friendships, living together, even money. If she has leftover food, it stays in fridge for WEEKS and once it is moldy, I will throw it away. She gets mad and says "it may be old to you, but I will still use it"She hoards food. She will keep an open plate of cake crumbs and a cheese cube from a party for weeks and panic if I try to get rid of it. We live with 2 other people and need space. When we used to hang out (I avoid it now) she would have to pick the time and place, i would have to drive and she would talk about herself the whole time. I'm tired of being treated so rude when all she cares about is herself. I realize she has a problem, but I have diagnosed anxiety too, but I don't use it as an excuse to be a bully.Yes- I've talked to her numerous times. She dominates every argument and asks for specific examples (with dates...) of every thing I claim.No-I can't move out. Already signed a full year lease, so I will be done in May. Please give me some advice to cope with this. I feel like I'm going crazy.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 November 2013):
 Stay in your private room. Demand your own shelf in the fridge and own space for food in the kitchen where she is not allowed to store her crap. If she needs it, she can buy her own fridge for her molded food. Set some house rules. If food is molded it will be thrown out. Period. She needs to watch her food and inspect it if SHE needs to be the one to throw it. Other hoarding stuff she must place in her private room and NOT in the common area. Then just try to get by and avoid her as much as you can.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (15 November 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't know about the law situation as I don't understand who you signed the full lease to and how you could get out of it.
Is there any chance you can get her to move out then? As I understand you are 4 people living there, are the other two just as annoyed as you are? How is her contract?
Before just giving up and living in this mess until May, consider all of your options.
And if you're really stuck with that girl until May, maybe you find a way to get a break from her (holidays at your parents', taking care of someone's apartment without paying rent while they're away..).
Also, maybe the other two roommates and you can sit her down and write down some rules. For instance, that she can keep her old food in one area of the kitchen but the rest of the kitchen has to stay clean. And if she wants to hoard food, she should do it in her room.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124  +, writes (15 November 2013):
 i know you arent kids anymore but maybe a call to her parents might help.
another suggestion is to maybe help her store the foods in a better fashion so they atleast dont spoil so fast.
what if you and the other roommates make a schedule for tossing foods out so as not to focus on her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013): Change your schedule so you minimize contact with her. Decline to hang out with her anymore - say you are busy. Get your own mini fridge like the kind for dorm rooms and offices, so you do not have to share a fridge with her. Is she getting psychiatric help for her OCD?
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (15 November 2013):
 best advice i can give is just hang in there. you're halfway there. then you are FREE.
a lot of eating disorders tend to go hand in hand with OCD. is it possible she's a binge eater, therefore, when you throw away her food, she panics? or is it simply she can't stand things being out of place?
either way, you're doing the best you can to be understanding and sensitive of her issues. but it's a little too overwhelming. which honestly, it sounds like a nightmare, if you ask me. just don't touch her stuff and leave each other alone completely. maybe somehow you can salvage a friendship once you move out. but right now, it seems impossible. she's a bit too difficult.
just hang it there, friend!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (15 November 2013):
 She sounds like someone who is indeed very stressful to live with. Are you in school? Any chance your parents could bail you out by paying for a room in the university residence? I wouldn't want my daughter to jeopardize a year of school because she made a bad roommate choice. Otherwise you're condemned to hiding in your bedroom until May.
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