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female
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writes:I am in a process of a divorce and I am leaving to Europe. I was marriaged for 15 years to an american and now we decided to split up. I dont have anyone in the USA,only my husband´s friends and family which are not that much of my friends and family anyway. His sibblings were never too close to me,and some of my husbands friends are too close to him,so I do beleive they wouldnt like to have a friendship with me anymore/anyway.I am thinking in going to France or German because I might have some connections there.I am a musician. I feel bad because I have only a green card because I never thought I would leave the USA and I always followed my husband´s advise to not get an American citizenship.So,if I go to Europe I would probably loose my green card.I love USA and had a wonderful time here but as I said I was too much involved in my husband´s life-family,and his freind and I see now that I didnt do anything for myself.I was,in a way, a doormat,and now I have nothing there. So,I have more in Europe -friends ( I have almost no family of my own).I´d like to have some comments,if you could please give me some advise.Thank you so much.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 December 2013):
 Appply for a re-entry permit before you leave.
Re-entry permits are for Green Card holders who know they may stay outside the USA for over one year . Under such circumstances USCIS can allow you to stay away for up to two years without losing your permanent resident status. Check the USCIS site for details.
In this way, you could go to Europe , see how it goes, If you like it, and if you can get a decent income you can stay and let the re-entry permit expire. Otherwise you can go back and still have your Green Card.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 December 2013):
 No one is happy where they are... girls with straight hair want curly girls with curly hair want straight
americans want to live one place and think it's perfect
Europeans another.
As an american with international taste and friends... if you feel drawn to Europe then go... do not think that it's going to be harder... it may be different, it may be harder in different ways.
Life in the USA is not the 1950s dream it was.... and I think that you feel pulled to leave and start fresh... that sounds like a plan to me.
This American votes for moving!
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 December 2013):
 Let me guess... all the posters who say you should stay in USA and who claims everyone wants to live in USA.. They are Americans, probably. They think life is harder in Europe, and that's not true. The financial crisis hit USA harder than Europe.
Of course, I'm biased too, being European myself. The language could be a problem if you seek work in a public sphere, but if you are fluent in English and with an education, and you speak Portugese as well, and maybe another language? I think you will get by just fine. Whether you make friends or not totally depends on the culture and the people you meet, and language will not be such a huge problem as most people of your generation speak English.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013): That would be a very unreasonable step for you. Every time I travel to Europe I hear people are dreaming of going to US, and you think by having couple of friends there will be a good idea to just move?At your age?Your profession is also very questionable. You now how it is with show biz. What kind of work are you planning to have, to play your music where? It's all very concerning, at least it would be for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013): Have you lived in these countries before?First things first - Get American citizenship. Now. Even if you leave the States forever, don't burn bridges. What if you absolutely hate life in Europe and you have no right to get back to the US. What then? Get your citizen ASAP.Next point - moving to France and Germany. Do you speak French or German? I'm British and I just moved to France with an ok level of French so I was able to set up bank accounts / find jobs / make friends etc. Will you be able to do that? To get accommodation here as a foreigner you need a French guarantor if you don't have a well paid job lined up. Again, do you have that?These friends of yours, how close to them are you? They probably have their daily/ weekly routines and their lives established so you can only rely on them to a limited extent as your social network. If they have partners or children you will be lucky to see them once a week. What will you do in the meanwhile? Sit in your 20 square metre apartment (houses are cramped here) feeling lonely and unable to communicate with the locals to make more friends?That sounds like a terrible idea to me. And I've moved countries 3 times in my lifetime - different continents as well. If you can give more detail maybe we can help but as it stands, moving to a foreign country is a bad idea.Why not move to a different part of the States? Start afresh, new friends etc - exactly what you'd be doing here anyway except you'd have more job opportunities and a familiar culture. Or if you are really serious about moving, then visit your friends for a month or two first to really get a feel for the life here.What is your nationality (ie. what languages / culture did you grow up in where you have a legal right to live indefinitely?)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013): Why don't you get your citizenship first? I thinkits very silly to leave US without proper papers. Life in Europe is much harder, situation with jobs are bad almost everywhere you look. Friends are friends, but they are not gong to pay your bills. If you stay in US, after divorce your husband will be ordered to support you, you lived together for many years, even if you don't have children I think it's a very silly idea to leave States for Europe where you think you MIGHT have some connections, especially without having citizenship. People struggle to get US citizenship doing all kind of tricks, and you just throwing it away when it lays in front of you. I am an European but live in US for more than 20 years. you can't even start comparing level of Iiving and possibilities in US to any Eurpoian countries. France and Germany have their good share of immigrants, and I know for a fact immigrants are not very much welcomed in these countries. Europe is not as accepting as US. I think you need to think hard before making this step. Don't move to Europe only based on a fact that you have a handful of people that you know. There is a life here without your husband. We got very spoiled living here and forget that life though its not all chocolate and roses here, but it's much tougher outside of it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2013): Europe is calling you!!!
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 December 2013):
Its going to be a short reply from me, because I don't think there is much else to say but this: Going to Europe sounds like a good idea. That is where you have most connections now. That is where you will feel more at home, because that is where you have something that is yours. Not just your husbands.
You can always go back to USA at a later time you know. You don't need a citizenship to visit. Right now, a fresh start in Europe sounds like a very good plan. Listen to your gut feeling and go for it.
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