| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 14 December 2011: I am so glad you gave your mother a chance to support you, and that she has shown you that she is there for you to help you out. Good thing she took you to the doctors, and great news! Double blessing. Yes, twice as hard, but you can do it, and now ... (read in full...)
He's a great guy and he's dating trash
Q. Okay so there's this guy. I've had a crush on him for a while but then it turned into more of a brother/sister relationship. We still flirt and all but this isn't what this question is about. He just got into a relationship with absolute TRASH. She ...
A. 11 December 2011: Sounds like he is playing you to get attention to feel good about himself. If he is really interested in you he will take time to talk to you besides just flirting. So take it slow with him and make sure he isn't just using you to make himself feel ... (read in full...)
I'm always stuck in the "friend zone"
Q. I'm in a rut when it comes to guys. I'm always stuck in the " Friend Zone ". Every time I meet a nice guy we become friends and that's it! I don't even get a date with them. They all go for the fake looking girls and I,m not like that:(. I've been ...
A. 11 December 2011: I never land in the friend zone even when I try. Only a very few odd times have that happened. I think it's because Im a natural flirt and I smile and laugh a lot, so the guys who approach me tend to want more after a while. Not to sound conceited, ... (read in full...)
I broke up with b/f but I want him back even though he lies and cheats
Q. Hello Agonies. I've been going through this situation with my bf for, i'll say almost 3 years. Lately he has been making up excuses to have sex with me, changing his password to his phone, not wanting to talk to me whenever i come over due to the ...
A. 11 December 2011: You force yourself to move on. You love him, okay, but he doesn't love you. What do you do when you are hopelessly in love with someone you can't get, in his case it is his love and respect that you can't get? Well you are forced to move on whether ... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on single parents, is the child affected?
Q. okay so... i found out im pregnant, 14 weeks gone, and the dad basicly said, if i didnt get rid, hed never have anything to do with me again.. of course i didnt get rid and he wants nothing more to do with me... we argued and havent spoke at all in ...
A. 11 December 2011: No, children who are brought up by a single parents do just fine. It's the pro-marriage religious fanatics that argue intensively against single parenting and gays adopting, but there are no real scientific proof that says children can't do fine ... (read in full...)
Girls: What is this girl thinking, is she playing the whole world, or just me?
Q. Well i would like to get GIRLS to respond to this question. Well there is this girl at in my class who i liked at the begining of the year and i thought why not try to flirt with her. After a while i found that she did not like me and she was actu...
A. 11 December 2011: Why did you ignore her? Why do you need to know why she likes you NOW and not THEN? Haven't you ever had a change of heart? Why do you like her now, and not .. I dunno, at some point where you didn't like her yet? People change their minds and ... (read in full...)
Why do I always end up in the 'friend zone'?
Q. I just don't get it. Why am I never good enough to be anything more than a friend with a woman? I've tried everything I could possibly think of. From making my feelings known to holding back and really trying to get to know someone before trying ...
A. 11 December 2011: How do you know these other women who you don't have any luck with end up "sleeping with" other men? Exactly how intimate are you with these women since you can keep track of their sexual affairs? Or was that just an assumption? You sound very ... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 11 December 2011: Change his passwords, since they get "hacked". Then don't tell him. If he truly never goes on there then he wont notice, and these "hackings" will also stop...
But in all honesty, "my account was hacked" is a bullshit excuse. Who has an interest... (read in full...)
My partner refuses to acknowledge that alcohol affects his performance and always blames me or tiredness or stress for his brewer's droop
Q. I am so angry with my partner right now. He got back from a 4 week business trip and he was telling me how much he missed me and was looking forward to coming home and when he got home that night he started having a few drinks which turned in to ...
A. 11 December 2011: Ever heard of a whiskey-dick? I'm sure he has heard of alcohol affecting performance, and I think he's not so dumb he doesn't get that he is influenced. But I think he's embarrassed about it, because he's being a macho-man who puts all his value as ... (read in full...)
Can a man maintain an erection for awhile? Or will he lose it if he doesn't "use" it?
Q. Kinda random question, (but there's a valid reason for me asking, honest!): when a man gets an erection, can he hold on to it for a while before having sex, or does he lose it if he doesn't use it almost straight away? To put it into context, if he ...
A. 11 December 2011: Not your question, but I need to inform you that condoms should not be put on and then you continue with foreplay. Once the condom is on it needs to be used right away, otherwise you risk fractures in the condom as it dries, and the condom will not ... (read in full...)
I can't compete sexually with my wife's former lover
Q. My wife's last lover had a bigger penis, greater stamina and could please her with vaginal intercourse. I feel so inadequate and don't know why I should make any more pathetic attempts. Any advice?...
A. 11 December 2011: How do you know this? What's a fact and what's creative thinking on your behalf?
I think your wife marrying you and not her former lover says all that needs to be said about who outdoes whom. But do share more information if you want more advice. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pressures me to have sex and I hate it
Q. My boyfriend always wants sex and I hate sex more than anything. Is it normal for me to feel so guilty for saying no. he gives me this rude attitude after I tell him my answer, helpppp I dont know what to do. I have talked to him about it a ...
A. 11 December 2011: Maybe he isn't the boyfriend for you, when you are so different. How can he possibly make you happy when you feel forced into sex and he develops an attitude when rejected?
You hate sex. He loves it. This can't work out. It's not about him "not... (read in full...)
Now I'm 21 Is it normal for me to be okay with wanting to experiment with sex?
Q. Throughout this year my stance on dating has changed. I used to think that I would be the type of guy to wait until I was in a real relationship to have anything to do with sex. But after my 21st birthday my thoughts about dating in general have...
A. 11 December 2011: Blowjobs are sex. Define sex to me and yourself. Why were you strongly against kissing etc. a year ago? Isn't kissing a part of getting into a relationship with a girl, and as such a necessary step? Or do you want to be in a relationship before you ... (read in full...)
Now I'm 21 Is it normal for me to be okay with wanting to experiment with sex?
Q. Throughout this year my stance on dating has changed. I used to think that I would be the type of guy to wait until I was in a real relationship to have anything to do with sex. But after my 21st birthday my thoughts about dating in general have...
A. 10 December 2011: How does this not match up: 1. I haven't had a chance to do anything with anyone, and 2. I do attract a lot of women?
Why can't you date one of these willing women you attract, build up something of a relationship, and then experiment? I'm sayi... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 10 December 2011: Good for you! I think she will be a lot more happy about it when she can help you and be a part of this, rather than be pushed to the side because you think she wont support you. You need to give her a chance to show you what she will do, and so far ... (read in full...)
We were broken up, I thought for good and I kissed another guy and now everything is a mess
Q. Hi. Ok so I've made a horrible horrible mistake and I need to fix it. Me and my boyfriend have been together about 6 months. We started getting serious, which wasn't good because people at college were coming between us and it just got emotional and ...
A. 10 December 2011: You're not a cheater. And I don't think you owe it to him to tell him about the guy you kissed either. He dumped you, well, then he took that risk himself. If he didn't want you to kiss someone else he shouldn't have dumped you. So straighten your ... (read in full...)
What is more appropriate/acceptable? Spending holidays with your family or your significant other?
Q. I would love some inputs! What is more appropriate/acceptable, spending the holidays (Thanksgiving, Xmas, New Year) with your significant other or your family?? I'm a little torn. I want to spend this time of the year with my family but ALSO with my ...
A. 9 December 2011: Typically you invite him to spend the holidays with you, and next year you spend it with his. Families typically do not celebrate together, you either go to his parents or he goes to yours... If you don't want to go to his and he doesn't want to go ... (read in full...)
I can't deceipher what my girlfriend's text message meant?
Q. In General I have always felt that text messaging is a poor way to have any serious communication, but recently it has gone from misunderstandings to causing conflicts. Because of this I am looking for a 3rd party(s) opinion on what one would imply, ...
A. 9 December 2011: Sounds like sarcasm. Unnecessary to write you that, I think she intended to provoke another fight. However, since texts are a troublesome way to communicate how about you start calling instead? ... (read in full...)
Best friend and I like the same girl. She likes me. Do I ask her out and betray my friend?
Q. I really like this girl and she told me she liked me but the problem is that my best friend likes this girl too and everyone knows that he does. Everyone also knows that this girl likes me but almost noone knows I like her. So here's the situatio...
A. 9 December 2011: Leave the girl. Best friend trumps girl any day. If you really want her you need to ask your friends permission, otherwise the rule is that he who saw her first gets her.
Same rules go between girl friends, if a girl has her eyes on a man the ... (read in full...)
He says he'll wait but does he really just want sex and then he'll dump me?
Q. hi everyone,im 17 and my bf is 22 we have been dating for six months now i really love him,we have talked about sex and i told him i wasn't ready,i believe in no sex before marriage and he said he will wait but everytime we are together he asks for ...
A. 9 December 2011: He wants you for sex. He said he would wait, but he isn't waiting. He is continuing to pressure you for sex and nagging you into having sex with him, despite you being very clear on this : no sex before marriage.
I don't know if he will dump you... (read in full...)
Can you use ordinary lube with non-latex condoms?
Q. Quick question: can you use ordinary lube with polyurethane condoms? As in non-latex ones? Because all the lubes I've seen have "suitable for use with latex condoms" (or words to that effect) written on the back. Does that mean there different lubes ...
A. 9 December 2011: Probably different lubes are needed, yes. It should be written about it on the condoms. ... (read in full...)
Can braces cause trouble with oral?
Q. my boyfriend recently got braces, and i've heard horror stories that if a guy gives a girl oral,things can get caught.. Is it still ok to let my boyf give me oral?...
A. 9 December 2011: Shave first so he doesn't risk getting hairs stuck in his braces. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's and my plans for life do not mesh!
Q. All right, here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over three years. And good god we love each other like nothing else. We just moved in together and, minor issues aside and one or two larger ones that we have talked about ...
A. 9 December 2011: I thought I'd throw in a last comment, even though it's been a few days now. It's not as easily to say you want to marry at this or that age or have kids at this or that age. Because there are so many other factors involved. Me for example, I would ... (read in full...)
My gf cheated on me. Should I spoil things with her new guy or just let her go?
Q. ok i'm in a dilema should I be a total git and ruin things for her or should I let it go tell her I dont want to hear from her again and explain how much she's hurt me. my gf and i split about a week ago. The relationship had been hard for ab...
A. 9 December 2011: Tell the guy. I'm usually not for revenge, and it is a dish best served cold, as well as karma tending to do the work for you. However this is too easy and so in your face.
Although don't be so sure about him not knowing about you. It's a risky ... (read in full...)
I don't quite understand what's with this guy. Is he not into me?
Q. I met this guy at work and initially he seemed really into me. We hung out after work one night and had a great time. He got my number, then text me saying we should hang out again soon and he called me gorgeous etc. 2 weeks passed and he didnt text ...
A. 9 December 2011: I think you don't know him and he doesn't know you, and before you can say whether he likes you or not you need to get to know him better. You've barely sent a few texts, that's nothing to base anything on. If you are curious about him and ... (read in full...)
He asked what turned me on, and is now avoiding sexual intercourse because of it!
Q. Got a really strange question for you. My boyfriend has asked me over time what turns me on. He knows some things but recently he asked again and I finally told him one thing. Now he seems to be avoiding sex with me. I told him that I dont wa...
A. 9 December 2011: I'm not sure if he is avoiding sex with you. I think it is more likely that something else is the reason, or that the sex hasn't changed at all, but you are so worried he is put off by what you said that you see things that aren't there.
You s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is buying me an expensive Christmas gift. I am not sure how to reciprocate!
Q. My girlfriend is incredibly sweet and generous; I love her. It turns out that she asked my family some gift related questions and that she is buying me an expensive gift (maybe $200?!) for either my December birthday or Christmas. When my family ...
A. 8 December 2011: I wrote you a longer reply, but it went missing due to bad connection. So here is the recap, sorry.
I think your girlfriend bought that weekend trip for her own pleasure as well. So it wasn't all "giving and generous", it was a tad bit selfish ... (read in full...)
Please help me to find a solution for a boy with kidney failure!
Q. Dear All. I am seeking advice from all please? I am trying to help a family in Zimbabwe who have a son that has kidney failure. He has to travel 4 hours to the capital city in Zimbabwe twice a week (4 hours there and 4 hours back) in order to get d...
A. 8 December 2011: Are there any Red Cross nearby for example, or other volunteer help-centers?
I am sure that the parents know best their options and what they can do and not do. They know the circumstances the best. So if they do not have any solution, then I d... (read in full...)
I told him he was the one. He said he was speechless.
Q. I told him I think he's the one tonight by text and all he said was that he was genuinely speechless. What's does that mean? Does he not feel the same? How can I rell? I feel hurt for some reason. We have been together for 8 months...
A. 8 December 2011: Give him time. His reply doesn't mean anything other than what it said, he is speechless and doesn't know what to say. He was probably surprised by this. Personally, I think you should have told him something so important in person rather than ... (read in full...)
Girls, especially, do you think a guy being able to dance well is important to you?
Q. I hate dancing. I mean REALLY HATE IT lol. Its embarrassing and boring. And everyone else loves it, which makes me feel awful for dissappointing my friends, and i just end up hating dancing even more. Thing is, i keep hearing about how impo...
A. 8 December 2011: Not single for life, but there are certain girls you wouldn't meet/attract. ... (read in full...)
Please help me to find a solution for a boy with kidney failure!
Q. Dear All. I am seeking advice from all please? I am trying to help a family in Zimbabwe who have a son that has kidney failure. He has to travel 4 hours to the capital city in Zimbabwe twice a week (4 hours there and 4 hours back) in order to get d...
A. 8 December 2011: Perhaps you could give more information on how you came in contact with this family and why you try to help them? What resources are available to you, for example what is your line of work?... (read in full...)
Would you be willing to be friends with a transgender?
Q. I suppose this is more a question than seeking advise but as a person that is transgender I am curious to know how people really view someone like me. I'm female born in a male body. I've never known anyone els like me and friends from my youth put ...
A. 7 December 2011: Just pop by a hello if you want, hehe. I guess you have more potential to be a friend than you thought you had!
And if all else fails, us Northern-Norwegians are open and warm hearted, and SoVeryConfused, many of my friends do play board-ga... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's and my plans for life do not mesh!
Q. All right, here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over three years. And good god we love each other like nothing else. We just moved in together and, minor issues aside and one or two larger ones that we have talked about ...
A. 7 December 2011: PS. I don't see this as you and her wanting different things, you want the exact same: marriage and kids and each other. You just want it at different times. Try your luck with dating and never knowing if any of them want to marry, let alone ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's and my plans for life do not mesh!
Q. All right, here's the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over three years. And good god we love each other like nothing else. We just moved in together and, minor issues aside and one or two larger ones that we have talked about ...
A. 7 December 2011: You can't plan life and plans change. While you are young you might think you have some plan set and you'll do this and that and get married then and when etc. But real life? Doesn't work that way. What if you break it off with her only to end up in ... (read in full...)
After 5 Years Why Hasn't He Proposed
Q. This is real simple. I've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. I moved out of state to be with him and its been me and him since 2006. I have never given him a reason to not trust me. I've never lied to him. I've never cheated on him. I go to ...
A. 7 December 2011: He doesn't make you happy, and when he pulls back you have this instinctive need to pull him back in. I doubt you want to marry him. You don't want MARRIAGE from him, you want loyalty and commitment, love and affection, which you aren't getting. He ... (read in full...)
Not Over Him After 3 Years
Q. It's been one year and a half now that i did the biggest mistake in my life. I broke up with my man after a 3 years relationship. I deeply regret what i did. I left him for another man. I took the decision in a blink of an eye. I didn't know back in ...
A. 7 December 2011: Stay single, stay strictly friendly with him, and give it time. If you truly love each other, and it is meant to be, then let time heal his wounds (because he was deeply hurt when you left him) and see if he can find it in his heart to forgive you ... (read in full...)
I'm on depo, should I be getting a period?
Q. So, i have a weird problem... I'm on the depo needle (ment to stop you getting pregnant) I got it last october 19th, its ment to last 3months, but the other day i got a period sort of thing, and as far as i know you shouldnt get it on the n...
A. 7 December 2011: You can get your period while on the depo shot... I'm currently trying the depo shot and I've been having sort of periods for almost two weeks now (been on for a month and a half though) and it's annoying as heck. So depo-shot is not for me. But my ... (read in full...)
Would you be willing to be friends with a transgender?
Q. I suppose this is more a question than seeking advise but as a person that is transgender I am curious to know how people really view someone like me. I'm female born in a male body. I've never known anyone els like me and friends from my youth put ...
A. 7 December 2011: If you and I got along as individuals then it wouldn't be a problem. But then again I love talking to unique and interesting people and are bored with those who lead "normal" lives. My friends all have their little quirks and stand out in a crowd. ... (read in full...)
Aske me home for a drink - What are his intentions?
Q. If a guy asks you to go to his place for a drink, is he only after one thing ?. He doesn't live comepletely on his own. He has housemates, but he does have his own room. He did ask me when i was going to be out around town again at first, but i said ...
A. 7 December 2011: You're allowed to talk to and get to know other guys even if you still have feelings for someone else. Talking and meeting and getting to know someone does not mean you will fall in love with someone else. It's just a getting to know them phase, it ... (read in full...)
Finally found someone I connect with on an intellectual level, as well as an intimate level...but he just so happens to be my literature professor. How do I go about starting a relationship with him?
Q. I've always been a hopeless romantic, but I love the feeling I get when I find someone that I enjoy talking to in an intellectual sense as well as on a more intimate level. Recently, I've met someone that has inspired me in so many ways I cant even ...
A. 7 December 2011: Are you familiar with the law? No? He will lose his job if he gets more involved with you, regardless of the reasons for your attraction towards him. This is a student-teacher scenario, even if you don't like calling it that. And of course, every ... (read in full...)
Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works?
Q. Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works? I keep getting different answers from different sources. It's my understanding that it's supposed to delay or even prevent ovulation (if your body has not yet already ovulated...
A. 7 December 2011: You need to ask your doctor for other options as well. There are several other options, but your doctor will ultimately be the best to explain them all to you and help you find what works best for you. ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 7 December 2011: I think your mother would like to be with you at the doctors to find out the gender of the baby. She is going to be a grandmother after all. Let her be a part of this, her her be a part of her daughters life. She will feel completely betrayed and ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 6 December 2011: How old is the boyfriend? What has his parents said? Could you stay with them by chance, in case your mother kicks you out?
Often parents will say they will kick you out just to prevent you from doing something foolish and becoming pregnant... (read in full...)
He's a great guy and he's dating trash
Q. Okay so there's this guy. I've had a crush on him for a while but then it turned into more of a brother/sister relationship. We still flirt and all but this isn't what this question is about. He just got into a relationship with absolute TRASH. She ...
A. 6 December 2011: I don't know if this is about being selfish or not, but I do know that who he dates really isn't any of your business, and if you care for the guy then you need to support him no matter what crappy decisions he makes. You can't control his life. ... (read in full...)
Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works?
Q. Can someone please explain to me how the morning after pill works? I keep getting different answers from different sources. It's my understanding that it's supposed to delay or even prevent ovulation (if your body has not yet already ovulated...
A. 6 December 2011: It is my understanding that the pill primarily does not prevent ovulation, but prevents an egg from attaching in the womb. However if it has already been attached (meaning you got pregnant), it does nothing. The morning after pill does not ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
