A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok i'm in a dilema should I be a total git and ruin things for her or should I let it go tell her I dont want to hear from her again and explain how much she's hurt me. my gf and i split about a week ago. The relationship had been hard for about a year due to distance between us and it took its toll on us both. About 4 weeks before we broke up she got a txt from this guy one morning while we were in bed I asked who he was she said it was a customer from work I thought nothing of it. I fnd out he's not he's a guy she works and he's been asking her out and that she's been getting involved in flirty txts but swears nothing else had happened and she had put a stop to the txts I again left it.Two weeks later she's being really wierd with me and all her friends are making friends with this guy on face book. I ask how they know him she again lies about it and says she dosen't know. I later find out the txts have carried on but she's still saying nothings goign on but her friends have now all decided to take it on themselves to befriend this guy without knowing him yeah right. I sort of leave it but am more than a bit unhappy. a week later we split and a week after that I find out they are seeing each other obvious somethings been going on there then!So i'm pretty hurt and angry so should I phone the guy and tell him whats been going on and basically spoil whats happening with him as i'm sure he doesn't know about me or do i leave it but tell her not to contact me and tell her how much she's hurt me!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): guys I posted this and let me say thanks I know your right just gotta let her go as much as it hurts and as much as I want to right the wrongs. To be honest your right she will cheat again. I've just found out she had a Friend with benefits while she was married before I shoulda seen this coming but she comes accross as such a genuine caring person!! I txt her and asked how she could have done this and not even the courtesy of a reply!! I think i'll hold onto it and if in however long time our paths cross and she's with the guy i'll tell him he defo dosen't know though and apparently is a nice guy so i kinda feel for him strange as that is.Anyway i've met someone else who i'm gonna take out think its just gonna be a friends thing and see what happens hopefully i'll be better equipped to judge this one first eh thanks again!!
A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (9 December 2011):
It won't make you any happier and you will end up going down to her level. Walk away from this girl and cut any kind of contact with her.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (9 December 2011):
 "So should I phone the guy and tell him whats been going on and basically spoil whats happening with him as i'm sure he doesn't know about me"
Waste of time.. there is no you and her, you've split up remember. If you phone the guy, he'll laugh his head off and you will be embarrassed. You'll look like the sad guy who can't move on, and he'll feel like the better guy who managed to steal your girl.
Sorry, but it's finished, and yes it hurts, heartache always does. You need to stop all contact with her and find a way to move on and find someone else to love. Anything else will be embarrassing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 I'm willing to bet he knew she had a BF (you) and he still hit on her and texted her, so.. I don't think he gives a crap. Also, those two deserve each other, I would not waste any more time on either of them.
Remove her from your life, block her number, delete her of Facebook, let her go and it's time to put her in the past.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 December 2011):
 I think you should just end all contact with her and let it go.... living well is the best revenge.
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (9 December 2011):
 I honestly think that the best thing is to just let her go and don't contact the guy.... Reason being... you may contact him and appear as the jealous played ex. You deserve someone better... let her go and who knows...maybe this guy is the one for her and you will find someone better and more deserving for you. This is best left alone! Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Tell the guy. I'm usually not for revenge, and it is a dish best served cold, as well as karma tending to do the work for you. However this is too easy and so in your face.
Although don't be so sure about him not knowing about you. It's a risky situation. And you wont get to find out the outcome of things either. But I'd message the guy, very short, about who you are and knowing she was flirting with him while still in a relationship with you, and the dates of when you and her broke up so he can know is she cheated or not. Then end it with this being just a warning, because what goes around comes around.
Then don't talk to her again, no matter how much she provokes you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): Leave it and tell her not to contact you because of how hurt you are feeling. If you contact him, it will only cause a whole new drama that you really don't need to get involved with. I know your really hurt over this, but now you need to concentrate on yourself, and let him put up with her. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): My advice, move on, she doesn't seem doesn't seem to be worth bothering with mate, making things worse for her only make it seem like it is impossible for you to move on and depending on how much of a bitch she is she might get some self gratification in the thought that you are hurt and lost without her. Leave her for dust. I know the ending of a relationship can be hard... But don't forget you can look forward to all the passion and mystery that a new relationship can generate. Spend time with your friends and before long you will start to forget about this bad relationship you had...
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A
female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (9 December 2011):
I would`nt say anything. You will come across as a jealous bitch. You should be counting your blessings that you have got rid sooner rather than later. Go and find someone better. She`s not really worth that much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): He will see you as a jealous ex and not believe you. There is a fair chance of her cheating on him too,so let him find her out for himself. Once a cheat always a cheat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): try and let it go fella.by all means indulge in revenge fantasies lol, but do try and resist the urge to facebook or text.she has moved on, and i know its hard to be dumped, but if there is nothing to salvage from your relationship there is no point in dwelling on it.fortunately over the next few weeks there will be a lot more ladies out and about for the holiday period so go and socialise.i realise you feel that you got a point of view to be heard and you want to right some wrongs, but it's pointless. put him on your list of people to catch up with in the future, but leave it for now, get on with your life, and by the time you have an opportunity to have a word you may find you can't be bothered and he did you a favour.go and find some office parties to gatecrash.best wishes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2011): Let it go. Good ridance. She will mess up herself when she cheats on him and chances are she will.
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