A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Got a really strange question for you.My boyfriend has asked me over time what turns me on. He knows some things but recently he asked again and I finally told him one thing. Now he seems to be avoiding sex with me. I told him that I dont want a baby but the thought of making love to become pregnant, and being pregnant is sexy and a turn on. I know he wants kids one day and claims he isnt scared if i accidently fell pregnant. but i just can see he seems different since i told him that. we always use condoms anyway so what else can i do to reassure him its just a turn on??BTW, He was always scared of sex beforehand, we tend to meet each others needs in other ways than just sexual intercourse, but now its been weeks since we've done anything..
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female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (9 December 2011):
The poor guy you probably frightened the life out of him he asked you in the hope you would tell him your sexual fantasies not that you wanted a baby i'd have done the same if i were him
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 He is avoiding sex like the plague, because he doesn't want a child right now. I think that is pretty logical.
You need to talk to him. Reassure him that you wouldn't TRY and get pregnant to fulfill the "fantasy".
I honestly, think he had hoped you would have talked about a sexual fantasy not a ... maternal one. Big difference. Or maybe he think pregnancy is a turn off.
Talk to the poor guy. Ask him what's going on in his mind.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 December 2011):
 Yes, this is a good example of how guys really are different from gals. In the minds of women there is a connection between Love and babies. In the minds of men there is a connection between love and sex. The only thing connected with babies in a mans mind is Money. So you went and connected sex to money. That is what put out his fire. He is in the process of resetting his thinking. He is reevaluating his level of commitment.
Don't jump to conclusions, he isn't afraid of having a family, he is afraid of paying for one. You need to refocus his mind on the Love. Talking about his feelings right now is not a good idea. Better to let your body say "I love you" in a non threatening way. Just kissing and touching if that can keep you satisfied. Non vaginal sex might be the best bet for a while. Eventually the love will take over and the commitment will be made. Right now he is not as ready as he thought he was.
FA
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 December 2011):
 I'm not sure if he is avoiding sex with you. I think it is more likely that something else is the reason, or that the sex hasn't changed at all, but you are so worried he is put off by what you said that you see things that aren't there.
You said "he seems different", if so how? And if there is a definite change, why can you not ask him and talk about it?
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