| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Fiance broke up with me out of the blue, without any explanation, and has been ignoring me completely!
Q. Okay, so about 3 1/2 months ago my ex fiance broke up with me. It was very devastating for me because that same day we were talking about our wedding plans, laughing, and joking around when he just came out of nowhere and decided to end the ...
A. 23 November 2011: Send your sister or go get your things then, if he continues to ignore you. Or contact the police if you must to get your things back, as he is practically holding them hostage.
Could be he's not in the country, maybe he traveled abroad. Who know... (read in full...)
What's an appropriate level of intimacy to have with male friends when you're in a relationship?
Q. I met my wonderful boyfriend during my gap year (2010) but now we're LDR. I love him to bits and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but since starting college, I've been finding it tough not to be at least a teeny bit flattered by the sudden ...
A. 22 November 2011: Sex makes the difference between friends and friends with benefits. Friends with benefits are never "just friends". I think that says it all. Sex ruins the friendship. There are a few, very rare and odd, exceptions. The rule however is that sex and ... (read in full...)
Help! Does he love me or is he just using me for sex?
Q. hey everyone I have been friends with a guy for three years and we finally got together seven months ago (life was good) ...we started have a sexual relationship about three months ago, i am just abit worried that he doesnt love me anymore and just...
A. 22 November 2011: I think this would have happened regardless of the sex. I don't think he is using you for sex, but some men (and some women too) get "comfortable" in relationships after a while and simply stop doing the extras and putting in work. It could be they ... (read in full...)
Extremely insecure about my small breasts! I want to go out with my friends and not feel inferior, because they get more attention than I do. I want to feel like a sexy woman!
Q. I have small breasts and this makes me feel insecure, especially because my ex was more into bigger ones. I have also noticed that most men prefer big ones. I know looks supposedly don’t matter, but men, even other women, seem to make such a big ...
A. 22 November 2011: I can't say I've noticed that men are more obsessed with big breasted women than other women... You sure you aren't psyching yourself into this because you had a lame ex who made you feel inferior and insecure about your breasts? If he really told ... (read in full...)
What's an appropriate level of intimacy to have with male friends when you're in a relationship?
Q. I met my wonderful boyfriend during my gap year (2010) but now we're LDR. I love him to bits and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else, but since starting college, I've been finding it tough not to be at least a teeny bit flattered by the sudden ...
A. 22 November 2011: Their "reassurance" that they are there for you emotionally, and the flirting, is not friendly. You need to not get so flattered you can't see a flirt when he talks to you. Guys will say things like that to get to you, to get into your pants, so ... (read in full...)
I want to see him at least once before I leave, is that too much to ask?
Q. Dear Cupid Me and my bf are together for 2 years and i am travelling away for my studies in another 2 weeks and we have to be in LDR for 6 months. Since i am travelling i asked my bf to meet once before i leave (he stays 5 hrs away from my pla...
A. 22 November 2011: Does he usually react this way? This sounds like him being grumpy, which you should have noticed at other times in the relationship. This sort of response tends to be a habitual response, and a way he will often react when "feeling pestered", even ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to feel comfortable about my boyfriend occasionally watching porn
Q. I'm hoping to settle this whole porn issue (though it isn't one at all) once and for all. I watch porn myself and I know my boyfriend does. But why do I get so touchy when the subject comes up? Or when I see hot women in a movie? I am attractive, I ...
A. 22 November 2011: You have some insecurities, and you snooping around to find.. I don't know what... on his computer only makes it worse. What are you looking for when you go look for things at his computer? Do you look for something, anything, elsewhere too? ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel aroused when you do pelvic floor exercises?
Q. Girls, I know this sounds like a bit of a dumb question, but is it normal to feel sort of aroused when you do pelvic floor exercises? I don't think I've quite got the hang of them yet as I've only just started, but sometimes I have to stop because ...
A. 21 November 2011: Sure. That can happen, you aren't abnormal. You're just a young person with hormones, totally natural. ... (read in full...)
Am I normal for wanting to remain single?
Q. Is it normal that I shut out all emotions and don't even care for having a girlfriend? About a year ago this time I was always stressing about finding a girlfriend and wondering why I was alone but something clicked in me this past summer and I re...
A. 21 November 2011: Oh, I don't know if you can blame the girls for your mates not being productive or working hard. I know several men (or rather still boys) who have never had girlfriends, are in their 20's, and haven't achieved much yet either.
Don't be pessimis... (read in full...)
So lost and hurt after discovering my boyfriend has been sleeping with some of his female friends
Q. What do I do? i love him so much but i'm so lost and hurt. I found out recently my bf has been sleeping with one of his friends since we got together and then found out he recently had a threesome with two of his other female friends. That and ...
A. 21 November 2011: You aren't the one giving up you know. You have done what you could to make this a good relationship. He is the one who gave up on it all. ... (read in full...)
Am I too heavy to be a stripper?
Q. Hello. I know this is a bit off topic but I was recently contemplating becoming an exotic dancer/stripper to make some extra cash but wanted some advice as to what a dancer should ideally look like. I workout about 3x a week running 30 minutes to 1 ...
A. 21 November 2011: Know what? If you are actually serious about this then you need to go fill in an application for such a job and ask the people who hire the dancers. Only THEY will know who THEY want to hire. So THEY are the ones you need to talk to, and discuss ... (read in full...)
My sex drive is too high! How do I stop it?
Q. I have a severe problem that I can't seem to get rid of. I have a very high sex drive and I hate it! It seems as though no matter how much me and my husband fool around, or how much I masturbate that I always feel like I'm horny and need to get off ...
A. 21 November 2011: Talk to your doctor about it. If your doctor doesn't come up with anything by herself (some doctors are a bit slow at coming up with helpful suggestions), look into birth control pills or the depo shot. Certain women react with a lack of interest in ... (read in full...)
So lost and hurt after discovering my boyfriend has been sleeping with some of his female friends
Q. What do I do? i love him so much but i'm so lost and hurt. I found out recently my bf has been sleeping with one of his friends since we got together and then found out he recently had a threesome with two of his other female friends. That and ...
A. 21 November 2011: He is a jerk. If every day could be his last day he sure is spending his time wasting it and becoming a jackass. If each day could be his last day he should be spending his time being the BEST person he could be, and make sure he makes people he ... (read in full...)
He says "I need you" meaning????
Q. Hi all, what does it mean when a guy says he needs you? is it a sign of co dependancy, or does it mean he loves you or what? !! Thanks - x...
A. 21 November 2011: Depends on the circumstances, but usually they say a man doesn't marry you, or is serious about spending his life with you, until he "needs" you. So if he says he needs you then that is the ultimate male sign of commitment. It means more than "will ... (read in full...)
Extremely insecure about my small breasts! I want to go out with my friends and not feel inferior, because they get more attention than I do. I want to feel like a sexy woman!
Q. I have small breasts and this makes me feel insecure, especially because my ex was more into bigger ones. I have also noticed that most men prefer big ones. I know looks supposedly don’t matter, but men, even other women, seem to make such a big ...
A. 21 November 2011: So you are a pear. Others are apples, and a few of us are hour glasses. The less lucky ones are sticks, or even worse: masculine with small hips and wide shoulders.
A pear is beautifully feminine. The media loves hour-glasses, but we all know tha... (read in full...)
This girl who my fiance works with, thinks its her responsibility to wake him up every morning for work! If he doesn't answer she will keep calling like 5-6 times!
Q. My fiance and I are both 20 and well he has this girl that is his friend who also works with him and she calls my fiance every morning like an hour before he has to go to work and tells him not to be late.If he doesn't answer she will keep calling ...
A. 21 November 2011: She only does this because your boyfriend thinks it's okay. If he tells her to stop or not do it she wont. Be mad at him for accepting and encouraging this, rather than be mad at her. ... (read in full...)
How can I pursue her in a way that allows me to save face if I fail?
Q. So my recent troubles is not really a trouble, I'm just looking for advice. i have started to think about what-ifs about this girl I'm starting to get to know. She's funny, athletic, outgoing, and very upfront. I recently was the only friend of ...
A. 21 November 2011: Just ask her for a cup of coffee. If it fails then you can say it was just meeting as friends. If it goes well you can count it as a date and ask her out on a second date and take it from there.
So she'll go and tell people you asked her out. Big... (read in full...)
My vagina is so small it is stopping us from having sex! Help!
Q. I am married from 4 months, me and my hubby tried a lot to have sex, but it never happens :( I feel my vagina is too small and his penis is too large for me. I read some articles saying that vagina feels small until the hymen breaks. But how to ...
A. 21 November 2011: You can ask your doctor to have the hymen surgically removed, if it will not break naturally and is causing problems for your sex life. How large is he? Is he above the average in size, or on the larger side of average? If so then you could start by ... (read in full...)
So lost and hurt after discovering my boyfriend has been sleeping with some of his female friends
Q. What do I do? i love him so much but i'm so lost and hurt. I found out recently my bf has been sleeping with one of his friends since we got together and then found out he recently had a threesome with two of his other female friends. That and ...
A. 21 November 2011: You are some sort of object or play-thing to him. He doesn't care for you or respect you, and your love for him wont make him treat you any better. You need to cut him out and give your love and your heart and body to someone who actually deserves ... (read in full...)
Am I normal for wanting to remain single?
Q. Is it normal that I shut out all emotions and don't even care for having a girlfriend? About a year ago this time I was always stressing about finding a girlfriend and wondering why I was alone but something clicked in me this past summer and I re...
A. 21 November 2011: Sounds like you have resigned. It is a strategy to prevent yourself from hurt and pain of being single. If you say "I don't want a girlfriend" it doesn't hurt you that you don't have one. But if you said "I want to find a girlfriend" you'd find ... (read in full...)
He's had 6 gfs before me and I need to know the details. Should I ask?
Q. My bf is the first proper bf I have had and the person I lost my virginity too. However, before me, he had a bout 6 proper gfs and has had sex with them all. This makes me feel a bit uncomfy, but I realise you can't usually get boys without history. ...
A. 20 November 2011: Don't ask for details. Details will not make you feel better about anything. The problems you have with his past, or issues you have with it, will be there just the same.
However, you can ask the general information. I'd ask for that too, and don'... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I want to wait till marriage to have sex now!
Q. I'm 19, going on 20, and my boyfriend is 20. Now, I'm the kind of girl that always believed in the "no sex before marriage" rule, and pretty much raised to believe sex is a taboo thing that is only for married couples, to make babies. But recently ...
A. 20 November 2011: The next level of a relationship doesn't have to be "sex" or "marriage". You seem to link those two together. For the record, you don't have to to have sex immediately after being married, there's no law saying you must, and your husband doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can my new Facebook friend be trusted? Should I send him the picture he wants?
Q. I met a guy on Facebook, he said he likes me, he is really nice and sweet. But there's something weird about him, he wants me to send him my picture but he doesn't want to give me his phone number. He said he is just being careful and I'm being ...
A. 20 November 2011: Facial pictures don't end up on porn sites... If he just wants to see your face then I don't think he intends to do you any harm. Alternatively you can try the facebook live chat where you use a webcamera. ... (read in full...)
If a girl has kissed say 12-13 guys in two months, what kind of girl does that make her? Would you want to get involved with her?
Q. If a girl has kissed say 12-13 guys in just about two months, what kind of girl does that make her? Would you want to get involved with this girl, or is it better to not go there? I ask because I met a girl who I got talking to in a club and I ask...
A. 20 November 2011: Kissed 12 guys or "got with" aka "had sex with" 12 guys? Big difference.
She sounds like a party girl. If you are a party-boy then it's a good match. If you aren't up to that life-style of partying and not taking things too seriously, then she... (read in full...)
It is ok for a 19 year old to date a 15 year old?
Q. I was wondering if it was okay for a 19 year old girl to date a 15 year old boy. I'm really worried for a friend of mine. He's obviously underage and still a minor and I'm sure there are legal implications of this but she seems so happy with him. I ...
A. 20 November 2011: PS. you're not labeled a pedophile for this. A pedophile is someone who wants/has sexual relations with a child, not a teenager. "Child" here means under the age of 13 (that is infants to 12 year olds). An adult having sex with a teenager will not ... (read in full...)
It is ok for a 19 year old to date a 15 year old?
Q. I was wondering if it was okay for a 19 year old girl to date a 15 year old boy. I'm really worried for a friend of mine. He's obviously underage and still a minor and I'm sure there are legal implications of this but she seems so happy with him. I ...
A. 20 November 2011: It's not okay. But you aren't their parents, and you are not in a position to intervene. Theres nothing you can do about it really, other than alienate them and push them away from you, which will just make them bond together even closer.
As lo... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I want to wait till marriage to have sex now!
Q. I'm 19, going on 20, and my boyfriend is 20. Now, I'm the kind of girl that always believed in the "no sex before marriage" rule, and pretty much raised to believe sex is a taboo thing that is only for married couples, to make babies. But recently ...
A. 20 November 2011: If you choose to marry someone you shouldn't do it just so you can have sex. Marriage isn't about getting laid. So take a few steps back and remember what marriage is all about, first and foremost. It's about making a commitment to someone for life. ... (read in full...)
Do I go with the one I am more comfortable with but is less attractive ? Or the other guy who is opposite in every way?
Q. I'm in a bit of a mess and I don't know what to do - any help would be appreciated! There is a guy I like A, he is sweet, funny, smart ect. ect. We have known each other vaguely for a year or two but never really had conversations until a mutual f...
A. 20 November 2011: X and you sound to have chemistry, I don't see any chemistry between you and A, other than the prolonged hug. How can you be sure A actually sees you as anything more? Never think you wont "measure up", thats just silly. If a boy likes you he likes ... (read in full...)
He doesn't take care of me when I'm sick
Q. Something is bothering me a bit. I am currently very sick, and yesterday I was much worse. I was at my boyfriend's house when suddenly my symptoms got really bad. I begged him to drive to the winn dixie right next to his house to get me some ...
A. 19 November 2011: He's a selfish, self centered, ego-trip of a man. No, you are not overreacting. The last boyfriend I had who didn't take care of me when I was sick, couldn't even be bothered to wish me a healthy recovery, got dumped. And I am so happy to be rid of ... (read in full...)
How do I ride him successfully?
Q. hi everyone. my man wants us to try different positions and its exciting but my problem is how to be on top. we've tried it but l just can't do it, l feel so heavy like my body wont move up or down and its so bad, once in he'll slide out coz l ...
A. 19 November 2011: Practice. And use your thighs. You need to use your thigh muscles to move properly, as well as small hip movements. If you move too much he will slide out and you risk bending him and hurting him. So small movements. You can lean forward closer to ... (read in full...)
Can a guy's car make him more (or less) attractive?
Q. Here’s a bit of a strange question. Does the type of car a guy has make him more attractive or less attractive? Does it have an influence on women? The reason I am asking this question is because of this, I used to have a classic BMW, one with ch...
A. 18 November 2011: Sorry for the confusion. The car doesn't make YOU look better. But the car makes the total picture look better, the car, as with a uniform, is supplementary. It doesn't alter the way you look, or highlight the way you look, it doesn't photoshop you. ... (read in full...)
Can a guy's car make him more (or less) attractive?
Q. Here’s a bit of a strange question. Does the type of car a guy has make him more attractive or less attractive? Does it have an influence on women? The reason I am asking this question is because of this, I used to have a classic BMW, one with ch...
A. 18 November 2011: We're all crazy for Toyota here in Norway. It's the most reliable thing ever, and when buying a used car you are encouraged to buy Japanese as their engines last forever. Audi is popular when you buy newer cars, same with BMW. Mercedes is some ... (read in full...)
Can a guy's car make him more (or less) attractive?
Q. Here’s a bit of a strange question. Does the type of car a guy has make him more attractive or less attractive? Does it have an influence on women? The reason I am asking this question is because of this, I used to have a classic BMW, one with ch...
A. 18 November 2011: Yes. The car matters. To some women that is, some women don't care. But tons of women have a car preference. It's with cars as with men in uniform. It's a chick thing, we can't explain it, but men in uniform is hot, same with a nice car. Nice cars ... (read in full...)
Never had an orgasm
Q. Hello, out there. I am a 26 year old female. I have never had an orgasm, either clitorally, or vaginally. I have tried on my own for years, and with my husband, but I just can't do it. Has anyone else had this problem, and does anyone have any ...
A. 18 November 2011: You said you don't put pressure on you coming "every time" so the question now is: do you ever orgasm at all? Are there some orgasms here and there (if so accept it for what it is, we don't all come by pushing some buttons, some times it just ain't ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 17 November 2011: I think it's amazing you can orgasm by using your hands. That doesn't work for me. I even have a hard time with the vibrator, took me weeks to learn how to work it with my one vibrator. I've tried others since, but still haven't learned how to use ... (read in full...)
It seems I'm never quite enough for a girl and I keep getting cheated on....what do I need to do?
Q. Hello people, well I discovered I was with the lowest of the low, as far as people go, my current ex, as it's sadly becoming the way I classify my love life, was sneaking around with a guy and completely unaffected by the fact that she could sleep ...
A. 17 November 2011: Why do people, especially guys on here, so often assume that because others treat them like crap they must too become idiots? How will that ever make you happy? And then what if you meet a nice girl, and you treat her like crap.. then what? You'd ... (read in full...)
Do emotionally abusive people really love you, but need professional help, or do they not love you ?
Q. Do people who are emotionally abusive really love you, but need proffessional help, or do they not really love you ?. I need to get out of a relationship with my emotionally abusive boyfriend, but i'm finding it hard to let go. Can anyone help ?. ...
A. 17 November 2011: Loving you and not loving you isn't related to being abusive. Sure, abusive people can love, but some abusers don't love. There's no way of telling whether or not he loves you, because he is damaged and doesn't know how to show a healthy expression ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 17 November 2011: Don't feel insecure about it. So what if you have a strong odor and that really is the reason for why he doesn't go down on you. That's you. Thats facts. Thats how it is. Being insecure about it wont make it smell any different, or make the sex any ... (read in full...)
Can sperm pass through fabric?
Q. hi. my boyfriend and i were making out so things got a bit heated which left us with just our underwear on, him withthin cotton underwear on and me with very thin underwear on and thin silky tights. Can sperm pass through all these? ...
A. 17 November 2011: Do you have any books at the library about sperm and sex? If so read them, because knowledge will make you feel more safe. But yes, I am sure. Sperm does not travel through fabric, especially not two sets. When sperm dries it also dies. Fabric will ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about her comment about my cum?
Q. hi guys and galls. The other night me and my new partner were having sex and when i came she told me i gush rather than squirt. And its the most cum she had seen in one go. It felt great to me and no other partners have said anything before. Any ...
A. 17 November 2011: If it felt great then why would it be a concern?
I don't think there is anything to be concerned about.... (read in full...)
Is it weird going off to university as a virgin?
Q. This is going to seem like a bit of an overreaction probably...and it's probably a silly question. I guess I'm feeling a little insecure about being a virgin. I'm only 17 and in my last year of school, but it's starting to look like I'll be hea...
A. 17 November 2011: Last time I checked sexual experience was NOT one of the things needed to enroll in university. Good grades however are very much needed.
You are mixing two completely different things here. Your educational level has absolutely nothing to do wi... (read in full...)
Can sperm pass through fabric?
Q. hi. my boyfriend and i were making out so things got a bit heated which left us with just our underwear on, him withthin cotton underwear on and me with very thin underwear on and thin silky tights. Can sperm pass through all these? ...
A. 17 November 2011: No. Sperm does not pass through underwear. Sperm dies within minutes when outside of the human body as well. ... (read in full...)
Never had an orgasm
Q. Hello, out there. I am a 26 year old female. I have never had an orgasm, either clitorally, or vaginally. I have tried on my own for years, and with my husband, but I just can't do it. Has anyone else had this problem, and does anyone have any ...
A. 17 November 2011: Have you ever used a toy? A vibrator? The shower (water pressure works like magic)? Do you have sexual fantasies that turn you on, that you think of when you try to orgasm? So much of the female orgasm comes from your mentality, if you are thinking ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 17 November 2011: When it comes to smell. After a while of you and him having been intimate you will start to smell the same down there. It's something that happens naturally after a while. ... (read in full...)
B/f will not perform oral sex on me but he did for his ex!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 yrs WILL NOT perform oral sex on me. He use to do it to his past girlfriends, especially this one girl who he had been going back and forth with for like 6 years. He even had an old poem on a blog site about how he wished he could...
A. 16 November 2011: Well... it isn't the end of the world. Yes, it is frustrating, but give it some time and he might change his mind about trying it out on you at least once. But for now don't pressure the matter as he will just feel more "cornered" and "trapped" by ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 13 November 2011: Ah, I think you did a fair deal with him though: if you can't orgasm then he's not allowed to either.
Of course it's not the same for him to to get an orgasm from having his scrotum stimulated... pffsh yeah right. That's what he says, because ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 13 November 2011: He needs to stop seeing the orgasm as a goal. The goal is for you to enjoy yourself, and he DOES make you feel great in bed, does he is good enough. Having an orgasm might be the peak for the man, but it isn't like that for women, especially not ... (read in full...)
My Bf has given me an ultimatum-either I orgasm with him and without my vibrator or he's going to break up with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2.5 years and I always thought we had a pretty good sex life. We have sex 5-8 times a week usually and feel really comfortable with each other and have great chemistry. It might help to preface this with saying ...
A. 13 November 2011: Good luck to your boyfriend... he probably will not find a woman who "responds to him like he responds to you". Because women don't have penises.
Maybe he needs to educate himself on the topic, because this is just stupid and ignorant. If he re... (read in full...)
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