A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Agonies. I've been going through this situation with my bf for, i'll say almost 3 years. Lately he has been making up excuses to have sex with me, changing his password to his phone, not wanting to talk to me whenever i come over due to the fact that we had issues that needed to be settled, wants to see what's on my phone/facebook page but ignores me when i wanna see what's on his, we fight and argue almost every time we're around each other. I found women clothing in his drawer and he said it was mine but i don't own any clothing like that then he "jumps out of amnesia" and said his mother had a bag of clothes and she put it in his drawer. I'm just tired of the lies, games, his way of treating me with disrespect, how he don't wanna work things out with me, how he treat others better than he treat me. This is the same guy that cheated on me multiples of times in the past and no, i do not trust him. I did break up with him yesterday but i want him back because i love him but i know it's not good but i stick around because i think he's going to change. Like, what is there to do when you really love someone that treats you terrible but you can't let go?
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (12 December 2011):
 Hi,
Sorry that you are in pain. I know you've been with him for many years, but sometimes you have to do what's right for you. You need to be strong, respect yourself and run from this way. I know you love him, you are attached to him, but I don't understand why you are still with him? He cheated on you so many times, you guys fight everyday, he's disrespectful and rude to you.... These stupid games??? Changing password, protecting phone, etc... Dont you get tired? Don't you get turn off seeing the man you love behaving like a child? Don't you think is easy to move on, forget about him and not love him anymore seeing what kind a person he really is? It's so clear to me, and this should be an easy decision.
You are young, have so much life ahead..... Find a real man, smart man, successful, responsible, kind, caring, respectful, have class and manners. A real man knows how to treat a lady, guys nowdays pay for everything, are romantic, take you nice places, they are sweet, make you happy, smile, sacrifice for you... They don't lie, play idiotic games, like changing password, hide phones.... So stupid.... I actually feel sorry for your boyfriend that live this kind of life, and that's what he chooses to do with his brain... So sad.... If you dont know what I mean, have you watched Jerry springer?
I hope you feel better and make the right decision...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): You are better than what you are willing to accept. Find someone who will treat you well and, by the way, treat that person well yourself. People, females in particular, have a habit of treating jerks well and good guys badly. The worse I treat a woman, the more she craves me. Go figure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2011): I think you should keep trying with him because the pain, heartache, the loss of time, the bitterness, the sadness, the loneliness, the self-abuse, the self-loathing, the feeling of worthlessness, the long drawn out struggle to win over a guy who is not only using you for sex but doesn't actually love you at all is definitely worth it. Because life works exactly like the movies OP love always conquers all and you can look forward to a beautiful life with him once you've won him back. You can can't you? Fuck trust, who needs it? Fuck happiness and satisfaction too those are shitty things no one should want.
A life of no trust, being cheated on over and over, perhaps an STI or two, maybe even bring a baby into this poisonous fucked up relationship you got going is the best way to go. But in the end love is worth all that isn't it? It's worth destroying your soul because you love him. Nothing else matters but love, don't protect yourself from him embrace this, let him continue to use and abuse you until you're so worn out you never trust another guy again and when he throws you to the side and never wants you again, you can buy a load of cats and live the rest of your life with them collecting every newspaper you buy and screaming at the neighbourhood kids to get away from your trash filled garden because you don't like them playing ball near your house.
Good luck OP, it's the people of this world who never find the strength to let go of the bad things in their life that never find happiness. Because it's only when you learn how to do that will good things happen for you. It's simple OP ask yourself is being in love with a fuckwit really worth fucking up your entire life for? Is love actually meant to be this painful? Then find the strength from somewhere or you really are going to be a very sad lonely person for a very long time, because even if this guys does you a favour and cuts contact you'll still be too weak to deal with the next guy and he'll walk all over you too.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 December 2011):
 You force yourself to move on. You love him, okay, but he doesn't love you. What do you do when you are hopelessly in love with someone you can't get, in his case it is his love and respect that you can't get? Well you are forced to move on whether you like it or not, thats what you do.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 December 2011):
You cut contact for starters.
Then, when you've done that, you need to sit down and really think about yourself. No one that puts up with liars and cheats and 'my mother bought some clothes and put them in my drawer' can be a happy, confident person. I think you are very underconfident, and I think that right now you need to focus on yourself and your own life so that you never take this treatment again.
You really need to work out why you really allowed this to happen. You know full well he won't change, you know he doesn't love you. That most important thing is that you work out why your self respect an confidence are low so that you can move forward and never go through this again.
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A
female
reader, Justjamming +, writes (11 December 2011):
Honestly , if you are tired of his lies and the games, you should just move on.If he can't be honest with you then it's just never going to work.
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