A
female
age
36-40,
*luvme23
writes:Ive been seeing my big brothers friend. At first my brother didnt know, but now its out in the open everyone knows. But now Im confused. We spend alot of time together. I see him almost everyday, he calls everyday, we text throughout the day. And I spend the weekends at his house. But Im not sure how he feels about me. I dont know if this is a friend with benefits thing or what. I want to ask but if I get the wrong answer I know I'll never speak to him again. Any advice about how to go about it is greatly appreciated. By the way Ive been seeing him since august.
View related questions:
friend with benefits, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, uluvme23 +, writes (24 October 2010):
uluvme23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do have sex but thats reserved for weekends at his house. When hes at my house, its basically diner and a movie. So I guess its safe to say it isnt a fwb. Thanx everyone.
A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (24 October 2010):
Ok, here's the thing. For five months I was sort of seeing a friend of mine. We slept together, but we also hung out together, he paid for dinner and stuff a lot of the time, I saw him nearly every day, texted a lot, he called me on the phone, etc. However, he never said we were dating and eventually said "You know you're not my girlfriend right?"
I totally thought he cared for me, saw signs of his caring for me, and whatnot, but it wasn't there I guess. Please be careful of your heart.
I would not ask him so bluntly if he has not called you his girlfriend yet. Men are weird like that. But I would probably ask where things are going in a subtle way.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 October 2010):
 It looks like you guys are in that getting to know each other phase before actually making it official. You made no mention of sex and the abundance of it, so no, it's not a FWB. As followtheblackrabbit defined the two for you, I absolutely agree your brother's friend will not overstep the line with you and push you into anything you're not ready for.
Just simply ask the next time you talk or hang out (preferably) "So we have been seeing each other since August, I'm just a little confused as to our status. Are we boyfriend/girlfriend?" Trust me, if he spends that much time with you, then you are definitely of importance to him.
...............................
A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 FWB: everything revolves around sex. When you meet-sex. When you text-sex. When you talk-sex. You don't go out very often. If/when you do, he's not likely to pay. There are no real conversations, just idle chit-chat. RELATIONSHIP: he calls you just to talk or see how you're doing. You go out to dinner as opposed to just drinks before going back to your place or his. He's affectionate. There are days where no sex is involved. When you spend time ago, it's based around activities you both enjoy. Cuddling :p I'll add too that instincts do count for a lot. If you feel used, ever-chances are you are. Communication is also the key to successful relationships. You've been seeing each other since August, so hm, a little more time (I think) is needed to really be gf/bf. But, you can ask him what he's looking for right now and how he views you. It's better to know! No matter what the outcome. I suspect that since he knows your family and is friends with your bro, he knows whats at stake. All the best!
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (24 October 2010):
sex is the index
if sex is the only connection between the two of you
then you are having a fwb
but if you both share feelings or developing feelings
and every one see you as a couple then you are in a regular
relationship
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Well do you have sex a lot? Say, every time you see each other perhaps? If not, this is not a 'Friends With Benefits' relationship, this is simply a regular relationship. What concerns you? Does he show you affections and signs that he does feel strongly about you? Do you feel that this relationship predominately revolves around sex?
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
