A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months and our relationship is good and bad. we have taken breaks and end up missing each other too much and get back together before the break is over! but a few days ago my grandma died and he hasn't been helping me deal with this at all. He has just been thinking about himself. i haven't had time to feel what i should be feeling because im too busy dealing with his problems. like his parents splitting up him being sick and his cousins death and his school work. i don't have time to deal with my own feelings and i don't think that is ok. he doesn't ever help me but i always help him. i love him so much but i just think this is wrong. he makes me feel pretty bad about myself sometimes. i'm shy so i don't do much in the bedroom if you know what i mean because i don't feel comfortable. and he has alot to say about that sometimes. he says he loves me more than anything but if he really did i don't think he would make me feel the way i do.
View related questions:
cousin, get back together, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): Thanks everyone for your help =)! i still do not know what to do but i am thinking very hard about everything. Now my boyfriend is saying he is so sorry and promises to be a better boyfriend i don't know why he is saying this now because i haven't talked to him about this yet so it is a little weird but hey at least he said that! thanks again.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 You are both going through very difficult times right now and it is good that you are so understanding. Just take hold of him and tell him that you need him right now, you lost someone too, someone dear to you and you need him to be there for you and you will continue to be there for him. This is a very complex situation and I doubt sex is going to make any of it better, it merely prolongs the pain. Which is why others would agree that you are still far too young for it. This may not be what you wish to hear, especially now but believe me when I say that right now, it is best to just stop doing anything 'in the bedroom' and deal with your problems. Or perhaps this is the right time for you two to take a break, confide in friends because, it is hard to be there for someone if you too are going through something equally as tragic.
Those are the options I suggest, it really depends on the strength of this relationship.
I hope that helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, marymomnwife +, writes (26 October 2010):
never dealing with ur issues and bottling urself up to focus only on his needs will make u crazy. you will only resent him in the end for never being able 2 cope with the pain of losing a grandparent and he in turn will pull away from u. i think with the road u 2 r on the only way u r going is down. if telling him the way u feel doesnt change things then break it off. dont turn back and when those feelings come rushing back when u c him again remember the way u feel now and keep going.
...............................
A
female
reader, butterfliesjjcx +, writes (26 October 2010):
 wow. first of all you're young, there will be other men in your life that will respect you and treat you as you deserve to be treated. To have a healthy relationshihp you must always meet half way. especially in times like these. he needs to be there for you just as much as you are for him. break ups are always hard, what you need to do during your split is stay busy, don't think about him, go get some attention elsewhere.
this is a hard one. best of luck!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Miss.Me +, writes (26 October 2010):
 The mark of a person who truly loves you is that they care about your feelings. Anyone can say "I love you" but you know if they really mean it if they SHOW it. Obviously this guy doesn't think your feelings are important. I'm glad you are noticing this. It seems he's growing through a hard period also but that shouldn't excuse his behavior, especially him making you feel bad about yourself. Have you talked to him about this? If yes, yet he didn't try to change then he doesnt really love you. You listed your age as 13-15. Guys that age aren't really mature to handle relationships.
You be strong and know that you don't need a guy to help you through hardships.
Talk to him and see what he says, what he does. If nothing good comes of it then you shouldn't have to deal with him and his troubles.
Good luck sweetheart!
...............................
|
