A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently learned of this site via some friends, as 3 months ago I went through a very bad break-up with The Only Woman I ever loved and still love. And, with my recent introduction to and utilization of this site, I have found that it has only intensified my pain behind the breakup, as ithere are countless situations here that closely parallel mine. I'm wore off more emotionally than I was prior to coming here. I am soo weak and an emotional wreck. I can't contact my ex for reasons of respect and an undying love for her. I struggling at letting her completely go, but I know I would suffer more if I go against her wishes. I have to ensure she's happy. I was so very mean and crude to her when she dumped me, and I regret my behavior and while I didn't mean the things I said to her I know that my words hurt her badly and that..that..fn kills me. I am a fn emotional wreck. Anyway, does anyone else here feel like this site makes him/her feel worse? I'm a mess....I need a heart impant.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): I write to her, on more than one occassion, extending my sincere apology and remorse for my unnaceptable treatment *nd disrespect of her in response to her dumping me. While it was painful to accept her telling me that she was not in love with me as I am with her, I respected her for being honest with me and didn't and still do not hold it against her. What did however multilate, scar and ultimately kill me was the following words that she texted me with the same conversation: "I wasn't trying to date you.I would have just fkd&that would have been it.Nothing more."
To this very moment, those words pain me in a way that no word(s) can or will ever be able to define. Why? Because these words came from the very woman who for 6 months INTENTIONALLY..and I REPEAT..repeadedly said to me "- would never hurt you" whenever I would try to pull away from her for a gut fear that she was not being honest with me regarding her character and agenda for me and so would ultimately hurt me...which in the end my hypothesis proved entirely correct...She intentionally set out to hurt from day one, all because She is in Love with someone that she wants but will never have. I'm devasted. I trusted her, at least as a friend..BUT..in the end I basically realize even Lucifer is incapable of inhumanely treating another as she has done. For her it was a cruel comical game..BUT..for me a death defining pain. I walk without heart..yet God has blessed me with an very Dear and Precious Friend who is sharing hers with me so I can gradually regain a healthy, happy, trusting, scar-free, barrierless Heart. Bunny Wabbit truly loves me for me..not to fuck me or just fuck me. *sigh*
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (23 October 2010):
 Many people coming to this site with problems are in an extreme emotional state. It is very hard to think straight or logically when you are very sad or broken hearted or even angry. This site is here because there are people who are not emotionally effected giving advice. It's a place to receive advice without being judgmental.
Basically what I am saying is, sometimes people are so emotionally effected by their issues that they are unable to make the decisions that they already know they have to deep down. A woman who is abused by her spouse KNOWS she should leave, yet her "love" tells her to stay and that he will change. This site helps bring that inner voice to leave out for that woman. The same goes for you. You already know what you should do. Your emotions are making you feel worse and decision making can be hard, but the people here can help you focus on what is right.
This site isn't strictly for making somebody feel better. It's about helping someone, such as yourself, figure out what is right. Unfortunately, doing the right thing isn't always pleasant.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (23 October 2010):
 Yes, the way you feel is perfectly normal. When you first come to the site, you are so focused on the problem at hand, that it is a huge relief to find people who understand, and to find that others have been/are in your shoes. That you are not the only one, and that others are surviving, gives you hope that you can too.
After a time, and a little ways out from the newness of your own pain, you start to heal in small way. Sometimes the continual reading of the pain of others, only serves to reopen your own wounds.
We have had many many good "aunts" who left the site after months, because of this. With some people it hurts too much. That is perfectly normal and acceptable. Many of them after time, and space and a lot of healing, find their way back. The find themselves in a place where they have healed...and they want to help someone else see that you can make it thru painful times.
If you are hurting more from being here, then there is nothing wrong with stepping back and giving yourself some time away. No one will be hurt or mad, in fact most of us have done the same thing at one point or another. It gives you a fresh perspective and puts you in a much better place to help someone.
So you are perfectly normal to feel these things. Our only wish for you is that you find healing and happiness. If you need us we are here to listen and try to help, but do not hesitate to step away if you need to. hugs
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A
female
reader, marymomnwife +, writes (23 October 2010):
not every person on this site has a heart. alot of the people that get on here do so to lash out and not get told they r rude and hurtful to their face. people have opinions not all are helpful and some can make u feel like slappin that person. im sorry to hear about ur brk up. sometimes things r better left alone. let her cool off and u get out and do stuff 4 urself. life has a funny way of bringing lovers back 2gether. you may run into her when u stop and get a cup of coffee a year from now and u 2 could relight the flame again. dont give up but dont sit n wait for her either. go live ur life n try 2 have fun.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (23 October 2010):
 You need to apologize to her and tell her that you did not mean what you said and that it is killing you inside knowing that you ever did say those things to her. Try and work something out, anything and everything is possible, especially the reconciliation of two people who truly love each other. Perhaps, write a letter to her, it is more personal if it is handwritten, and let her read it, show her how you still feel about her.
About this site...yes at times it does drag me into a dark hollowness, a place I had grown long before I ever found this site. I did return to it time and time again but it does nothing to me anymore, other than make me stronger and wiser. The world can be a terrible place to be, especially when you realize that there are horrors around us and terrible people that walk the streets proudly as their victims suffer by their hands with a hopelessness wrangling its devilish claws around their hearts and minds. Yes sometimes this site does make me want to cry and I have. I have wept for those who feel more pain than anyone should because of those they loved or those they thought they loved. But that is why I strive to help those in need, the sufferers who are able to write and reach out to the world in a plea for help, I write to them and try to bring them the hope they seek and the help they need to smile again and that is all I want. Sometimes you will feel worse, you will be dragged to the brink of sanity until you want to die as you try to claw your way back. If you seek help, if you find it, if you apply it, you will fly back to joy again and your heart shall break no more.
At least try to contact her to show her that you still care, if she still has any remnants of emotion left for you, she will listen, she will read and think and speak to you and you both shall find peace.
I hope that helps.
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