He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 9 March 2014: He is not maintaining contact, I think you should just let it go.
... (read in full...)
He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?
Q. Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...
A. 3 March 2014: I don't understand why you feel somebody you have not seen in over 12 months should pay your airfare.
I think his offer to pay hotel and entrance fees is very generous to somebody who is simply a friend not seen for more than 12 months. ... (read in full...)
I like him but he's seven years older and I'm worried my family will freak out
Q. So lately I've been talking to a guy I really like. The only thing is that I'm 20 and he's 27. I'm worried that my family will freak over the age difference if we do ever become boyfriend and girlfriend. Is the age difference too far apart? What ...
A. 3 March 2014: Just take everything slowly, don't make a big deal of the age difference, and don't try and keep anything hidden.
Yes, sometimes an age difference of seven years can seem too wide, especially if you have not been dating very many other boys, or... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly start texting me again?
Q. All of a sudden he started texting me again after being distant for months. Here is a little of history: We became friends very fast around this time last year (we had a lot in common) and we hang out a lot (I fell in love with him). Then one...
A. 2 March 2014: He is still looking for sex, and is hoping you might come around to the idea.
Give him a wide berth, there is nothing there for you.... (read in full...)
We cancelled the wedding and I am now stuck in limbo.
Q. is there any hope? I live with and had been planning to marry a loving exciting, thoughtful, generous man who I adore. He also will do anything for my children aged 21 and 18. Financially he has given everything he owns. The problem is that ...
A. 2 March 2014: I think your fears regards claims on you estate are spot on.
If you were not in the UK you could be my cousin, her partner of 20 years dropped dead suddenly. From out of the woodwork came a woman, bereaved, his partner (??) who thought due to h... (read in full...)
Should I let this go?
Q. I'm absolutely fuming! Please read! Last night I went out to dinner for my friends birthday. There were 9 of us in total and a few friends of hers who I don't know. I wasn't feeling well as I had some work on my teeth and on tablets so I c...
A. 2 March 2014: Pah, echo her words back at her on YOUR facebook page, "Had a fab meal last night and a good catch up! Shame about the con artist who expected me to fork out an extra 15 quid to subsidise her drinking problem!"
Maybe you had ought not, out of r... (read in full...)
Email, SMS and call all in one day from ex-husband!
Q. What do I do? My ex-husband remarried very soon after our divorce. This was a couple of years ago. He has never totally let go. He has constantly stayed in touch every few months or so. This last call was very heart wrenching as he laid bare his...
A. 1 March 2014: If your ex husband is sneaking around, texting and calling you without his wife's knowledge he is not behaving very honourably.
He chose to marry her, he was an adult, with the faculties to make reasoned choices and decisions, and he married ... (read in full...)
Natural birth questions
Q. These questions are for mothers who chose to have a natural birth with no pain medications. I am expecting my first baby this summer and i want to do it with out pain medications but my mother thinks i'm not strong enough to and iv hear some bad ...
A. 1 March 2014: Mother of three children here, first birth I was knocked out .... came to and baby was born, second birth I was high as a kite, my doctor at the time believed no medical procedure should cause pain .... third birth, third doctor, no problems all the ... (read in full...)
Dumping on a girlfriend for a man you hardly know!
Q. My american friend (girl) has been planning to come over for a ages and so I invited her to stay with me for a few nights. She's been texting me on her progress with planning her trip for months and I got my spare room ready for her, booked a ...
A. 27 February 2014: I'd be telling her how it will make her trip so much easier if she doesn't have to worry about her old male friend putting up with the sort of talk old friends indulge in when getting together and how you look forward to talking to her once she ... (read in full...)
He wants me to move away with him but I can't stand the thought of leaving my friends and family behind
Q. A year ago, I met the man of my dreams. I am 21, and he is 27. He is originally from Australia, and had spent the last three years living in the uk. He moved over here to live with his father who is a British citizen. We met through mutual friends,...
A. 25 February 2014: oh ho!
He sounds like a bit of an arse to me. Why can't he stay in the UK for a bit longer, especially given how young you are and the fact you have only been together for a year, that is not very long in the scheme of things.
It all seems a ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting like this? A late mid-life crisis?
Q. ok so theres this guy at work and usually i just say hi then carry on with my work. like i dont pay him much attention recently every time i walk past him he'll pretend to punch me(without making contact) /lightly punch my arm or like pretend to ...
A. 25 February 2014: maybe, despite the fact he has kids, maybe he is unsure how to relate to somebody so much younger in the workplace and jovial jokey dad/uncle is the only way he knows how.
Maybe, despite the fact you see his age as a barrier, maybe he is just a f... (read in full...)
Please help me compose an anniversary post!
Q. My three month anniversary with my girlfriend is tomorrow. She has asked me to post a long post on her wall. We have been through alot together and really are thinking about the future together. What do I say. Please help...
A. 23 February 2014: rewrite this in today's language, don't forget to acknowledge the original author, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach,
when feeling out of s... (read in full...)
Big Girl with Low Self Esteem. And I just lost my virginity to my married friend. What should I do now?
Q. I’m sort of a big girl who has always had a very low self-esteem because of my size. As a matter of fact, up until a week ago I was still a virgin at 26 thanks to my insecurities. I’ve been best friends with a guy since high school that I’ve alw...
A. 23 February 2014: Sweetheart, I'm sorry but the friendship is over, you can't go back to the way it was, the moment he started putting the hard word on you, and you didn't slap him down that friendship was over.
Your friend used the fact you have always had a bi... (read in full...)
My ex who tried to ruin my relationship has contacted me. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want to hurt my partner. What should I do?
Q. Me and my ex broke up back in June after being together for a year and a half. We tried being friends but this proved impossible after I started seeing someone four months later. This lead to something of a bitter parting for us. She and her family ...
A. 21 February 2014: Your ex is your ex for a reason. Now consider this, she knew you had blocked her which would be a very strong indication that you did not want to hear from her and yet she went ahead and did it anyway.
Not the correct thing to do. Why would a ... (read in full...)
Partner says he wants to be with me forever but has "itches that need scratching" with other women.
Q. I've been with my partner for 5 years. We met at uni. It's a long distance relationship but we are planning in moving in together this year. We are both each other's first sexual partners. I was in a long term relationship before but never had in...
A. 19 February 2014: What he is doing is cheating, he has simply wrapped it all up in pretty paper and called it something else in an effort to bamboozle you.
Either you will accept his behaviour, or you will not. It is your choice, for me most of his actions ... (read in full...)
My friends want to move abroad without their young-adult children
Q. Am interested what you think of this situation. Some friends of min are bith 52, and have 2 kids: girl of 18 and boy of 20. The parents want to emigrate from england to spain on a permanent basis. The kids dont want to go with them. But the p...
A. 18 February 2014: The parents want to move, they are in their 50s and know what they want from their lives.
You say the kids don't want to move, at 18 and 20 they are legally responsible for their own decisions and choices. It doesn't sound to me that your friends ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to accept an expensive gift from my male gay best friend? I think it's made my boyfriend jealous or uncomfortable.
Q. My gay male best friend whom I have known for a year recently took me out for my birthday. He took me to a restaurant that neither my boyfriend and I can afford, and also gifted me a Burberry scarf ($400 value). I had already known which ...
A. 17 February 2014: If your gay male friend was actually female heterosexual would you accept the gift?
That being said, it does seem a little over the top, the expensive restaurant and the very expensive scarf. Are these expensive gifts the normal thing for your... (read in full...)
He got me absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day!
Q. Should I be upset he got me absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day? My boyfriend and I both agree that Valentine's day is not a big deal. We are in a long distance relationship-been together about 8 months. We don't see eachother very often in pe...
A. 17 February 2014: Your second sentence: "My boyfriend and I both agree that Valentine's day is not a big deal."
If you both agree it is not a big deal then why are you making a big deal out of the fact he simply paid for a hotel and dinner?
Maybe he beli... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't believe in Valentines -- should I be hurt?
Q. My boyfriend of only a few month. Didnt see me on valentines day. And didnt get me a card or present. When i asked about it? He just said he didnt believe in all that none sense. I'm a little bit hurt about it but not sure whether i'm being over ...
A. 16 February 2014: To me Valentine's Day is just another over commercialised opportunity for corporations to make a few quick bucks but then, it was never part of Australia's culture when I was growing up but seems to be creeping in now, along with Halloween and ... (read in full...)
After a year of dating he is pressuring me to tell him where I live.
Q. Hi, I have been seeing this guy for almost an year, I know where he lives but he doesn't know where I live because he hadn't been interested but now he won't see me again untill I take him to my place. Why the sudden inerest? Problem is that he is ...
A. 16 February 2014: He is probably asking himself what the big secret is. Dating somebody for a year and he has never picked you up from, or dropped you back where you live is quite unusual.
I don't know if he is suddenly interested, maybe he hadn't realised... (read in full...)
The guy I've been dating is torn between taking things further with me or his female best friend. What should I do?
Q. Really need help So since early January I have been seeing this lovely guy, and we both really like each other and everything has been going so well but now just as we are on the verge of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend to one another he has t...
A. 16 February 2014: I agree with Aunt Babbit. Tell him thanks but no thanks and walk away.
He is playing fast and loose with your emotions by keeping in touch daily while he tries to pick a winner. Phht to that baloney!
Tell him there is no decision for him to m... (read in full...)
She knew I liked her, ignored me for a year, and is now engaged to someone else. Why message me now?
Q. So after being ignored by a girl for a year because I told her that I liked her. She has since gotten engaged she sends me a random faceb00k message after a year..."Hi. How you doing?". I reply simply..."I am OK, and u?". She replies..."all good". ...
A. 15 February 2014: Probably no point at all, she may have been simply going through her friends list, you can remover her from your list you know, and they she would not be able to waste any more of your time.... (read in full...)
Will I have to be involved in my child's life in the future?
Q. I had a night out 2 weeks ago and slept with this girl who was on holiday in the city where I live. We exchanged email addresses and now I'm told she is pregnant. I honestly don't know how that happened because we used a condom, and sure I ...
A. 14 February 2014: If there is a baby (2 weeks after sex is a bit soon to tell in my opinion) you need to accept some responsibility.
First thing to do is WAIT for a doctor's diagnosis. If it is positive tell her you are willing to be responsible but will also be ... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable with female coworker and husband
Q. I'm extremly uncomfortable with my husband and his female coworker/friend. I think she crosses to many boundries and doesn't see it. I'm constantly accusing him of cheating and its causing a wedge between us. He has other female friends that I'm ...
A. 14 February 2014: It was all fine for me until you said she asks if he needs permission to talk .......... RED FLAG.
Here is my suggestion, put on a BBQ, invite her over, and some more friends so it doesn't look deliberate. Get to know her, ask her to meet for... (read in full...)
My ex is pregnant, she told me just after we broke up. I offered my support and she rejected that. Anyone else been in this situation? Help!
Q. Well here it goes, recently I got back with an Ex girlfriend who I had dated a few years ago, and I can genuinely say that I loved her then, and that things appeared to be going well second time round. Then it all went downhill. One weekend and ...
A. 13 February 2014: I am sometimes more cynical than I like to be. There might not be a baby, there might be a baby but it might not be yours, or there might be a baby and it is yours.
In my opinion there is absolutely no sense in trying to rekindle, as you so nicel... (read in full...)
How can I stop my ex from harassing me? He wants me back, yet his actions are distressing me
Q. my ex boyfriend wont leave me alone. ever since he broke up with me, he has been getting into trouble, showing up in all of my classes, and he even asked my best friend out. we only dated for about a month, and even though i told him that i don't...
A. 13 February 2014: Talk to your parents, there are options available to them that are not available to you, they could approach the boy calmly and let him know his behaviour is unacceptable and he needs to stop it, they could approach the school direct, or they ... (read in full...)
What would you do with this long distance relationship?
Q. This one is a doozie...Please help!!!! I am a female senior in college, 2 hours away from home. My mom set me up with one of her coworkers in December. She said we would be perfect together, and gave the guy my phone number. I came home for W...
A. 7 February 2014: Firstly, why have you listed yourself as being in Australia when quite obviously by your language (winter break, college senior, college semester rather than uni, etc etc) you are not in Australia? While this issue might not be a biggie (or even a ... (read in full...)
How to start talking about finances and setting boundary for this kind of situation?
Q. I recently just got into trading and have been having some luck with the stock market. I have been updating my boyfriend on my gains and research. Last weekend when we went out, he had told me he wanted to give me a couple of grands to invest. I ...
A. 5 February 2014: Offer to teach him how to do it for himself.
Tell him you are on a roll right now but there is no guarantee it is going to continue, and that you are not prepared to risk your relationship if things go belly up and your winning streak ends.
... (read in full...)
The only problem is that he never wants to remarry or have children with me, it's tearing me apart. Advice?
Q. I feel like there is no hope for my relationship even though my boyfriend has never cheated, lied or hurt me. I love him, and I have never thought of anyone else since I met him. I honestly see no one else as my future but him. The only problem ...
A. 5 February 2014: Choices, choices, choices! So many choices, which way should you go.
You could simply accept things as they are, and maybe get over you desire to have children, or grow more resentful.
Or, you could break up with him, find somebody who wants th... (read in full...)
I ruined my boyfriend's life because I didn't lose my virginity to him
Q. Hello all, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3years 3months, just recently he found out the guy I lost my virginity to was 20yr old and I was only 16, I regret it completely and know it was a huge mistake when I was immature young and drunk. ...
A. 3 February 2014: Oh my goodness! Tell him you are not prepared to be with somebody who is going to be sad all the time, it is emotional blackmail, tell him there is no way you can reverse what has happened, he needs to either get over it or get out.
... (read in full...)
We are back together but nothing has changed!
Q. Well I'm back again for more advice. I got back together with my ex, it's been about 6 months or more now. While I think he is a good dad and a great provider. I can't seem to get the feelings back for him. We have undergone counseling and ...
A. 27 January 2014: Print off your question to us, and go see the counsellor, on your own, one more time. Unless your counsellor has a particular ethos or line to push (eg church aligned or other), they should be able to help you make a decision that works for you, ... (read in full...)
Is this typical fwb behaviour?
Q. Me and this guy have been seeing each other casually for a few months: however it's been on and off from the beginning. From the start he said he doesn't do relationships, doesn't like the drama and likes 'simple'. Every time I go to his house I c...
A. 26 January 2014: He is not in a relationship, your 'thing' with him is not FWB, the "F" stands for Friends, there is no friendship involved here, only sex, which he is getting delivered to his house for free.
His BS about a girlfriend is simply insurance to keep ... (read in full...)
Is having an ex help out wrong?
Q. Hi. I started dating a divorced guy with kids three years after breaking up with alongterm partner (no kids myself). We lived together for a year but then he moved for work, we see each other once a month. As it happens this move for work put him in ...
A. 26 January 2014: Wow, this situation has the potential to EXPLODE!
On the surface you are not wrong, your boyfriend fixing stuff for an ex is no different to your ex fixing stuff for you, on the surface he is right to do stuff for his ex wife because it benefits... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being too friendly with her? He says he doesn't want to be mean to her
Q. About a week ago my boyfriend met a girl through some mutual friends. My boyfriend says this girl flirted with him like crazy as soon as she was introduced to him and even told my boyfriend that he seemed like an amazing guy and that she really ...
A. 26 January 2014: I was going to answer this using different words, but then why reinvent the wheel, and the answer you got from YouWish is spot on, so here it is repeated for you:
Tell him there's no room in your relationship for another woman to be flirting... (read in full...)
How much help do I provide an ex who still isn't over me?
Q. So me and my boyfriend of 5 years broke up May 2012, and whilst now I can say that I have completely moved on, I know that he is struggling really bad. Tonight he asked if he could talk to me on the phone (the first time we have actually spoken ...
A. 26 January 2014: He is your ex for a reason, and it is up to him to find his happiness, its not your job.
If he is on a downward spiral encourage him to seek some professional help, your feelings are right in that the more you allow yourself to get involved... (read in full...)
He bailed on me.. so what's up with him?
Q. Okay, my boyfriend, ex I should say, broke it off with me "unofficially" by disappearing 2 weeks ago. He told me he loved me by text, had nothing to offer, blah blah blah and then disappeared. The last thing he ever said to me was "I love you...". ...
A. 23 January 2014: I agree, block him, that will cause him more bother than anything else you could do, or , if you want to have a few days stirring before you block his sorry ass, start making bs posts .... "OMG bumped into *inert celebrity* coming out of the gas ... (read in full...)
No birthday gift from him! I'm feeling hurt!
Q. Hi, I recently had my birthday and I received nothing from my boyfriend and it really hurt my feelings. A while back he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said that I really don't want him to spend his money on me. he said that he wou...
A. 20 January 2014: "while back he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said that I really don't want him to spend his money on me. he said that he would rather spend his money on nobody but me. Then he asked again so I requested woolen socks"
When you said... (read in full...)
Epic failure, please help
Q. I'm 27, still single,never had a g/f, etc... I'm getting fed up lately, every girl I've ever liked is happy with someone else, I feel like I was robbed, feel betrayed, and I'm scared. Plus Dad is just waiting and scheming, slowly has been hinting at ...
A. 20 January 2014: Two separate issues there, first one may lead to solutions for the second one. IF you can afford it, move out of home, start planning now, the first thing you need to do is show YOURSELF how capable you are of looking after yourself.
Do you have... (read in full...)
Tired of my boyfriend's crap!
Q. Not sure where else to post this but hoping for some advice. My boyfriend, who is 34, and I have been living together for 3 years and I have asked him to clean up after himself in the bathroom many times. Specifically, he sits on the toilet in su...
A. 19 January 2014: so you get a house with two toilets, and he uses his until its so bad even he wont, so he will then use yours .... and then you get a house with three toilets ...
His attitude towards you on this issue says a lot about how he sees you in the rela... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 16 January 2014: Sounds like he was a nice decent sort of guy, who let you down gently and did not make fun of your feelings ....
You are still hoping for more than he has to give you, you really do need to move on.
... (read in full...)
Is she controlling him or could it be I did something wrong to end our friendship?
Q. Hi wondered if you could help me make sense of this weird situations. I have been friends with a guy for roughly 6 years, used to be very close but drifted apart after a fall out. The fallout was because after he got with his new gf he told me he ...
A. 16 January 2014: Your friendship got to a point where he had to make a decision, the friend who doesn't like his girlfriend, has issues with his girlfriends family, says his girlfriend is rude, and a friend who knows the only reason he makes certain decisions is ... (read in full...)
Caught my Girlfriend answering ad on craigslist.
Q. I know it was deceitful but I created a fake ad on craigslist to see if my girlfriend would answer and she did. I did this once before and she answered and this was the second time. I replied back and pretended to this other guy and she flirted and ...
A. 15 January 2014: I also fail to see what is confusing here ....... no confusion for me, you caught your girlfriend acting in a very unsavoury way .......... FOR THE SECOND TIME!
So what now then, will you just let this fade away until you create your THIRD fa... (read in full...)
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