My fiances sister is a great girl, but I don't want her living with us!
Q. I understand that some of you may think I am purely being selfish but please try and understand what I'm saying.... Ok, so my fiancée and I got our own place last year. We had both saved to be able to buy our own place, and when we got engaged i...
A. 3 July 2014: You are not being selfish.
You could give an ultimatum, but must be prepared to carry it through if he choses his sister over you ..... which is what he is doing now but he might not realise it until he has to make his decision a consciou... (read in full...)
Have you ever been called by your significant others ex-wife's name?
Q. My fiancé has called me by his ex-wife's name several times and they have been divorced for 9 years now. We have been seeing each other for four years. He even gets our vacations together mixed up. The other night he remarked, when we were ...
A. 2 July 2014: I've done it, it was just something that happened. My ex husband existed, my past cant be wiped out with hitting a delete button ...........
Its just the way his brain is wired, he might get out of the habit if you keep pulling him up on it, but ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever successfully rekindled with an ex?
Q. Anybody have any success stories about getting back with an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend? I'm talking about after a long break up. I've recently been "dating" my ex who I was with for 8 years. We broke up two years ago. He told me he never got over ...
A. 2 July 2014: I personally know of one story, young married couple, two kids.
Neighbour's live in boyfriend left her for another woman, neighbour the stereotypical helpless type, all blonde hair and long legs, requested young husband's help with all sorts of thin... (read in full...)
Job interview coming up soon. Feeling stressed, worried and overwhelmed. How do I deal with this?
Q. I feel that I need some advice re. my stress. I have a job interview in a few hours and I feel overwhelmed with stress and worry, that I'm in tears and feeling nauseous . I don't have time to go and see a doctor at the moment. But I don't know how...
A. 1 July 2014: Do these calming exercises now, and again when you arrive at the interview.
Pace yourself, arrive about 10 minutes early, breath in deeply through the nose for a count of three, hold it for three, breath out for three, repeat this a few times. ... (read in full...)
Why does he want pictures of me if he isn't going to save them?
Q. My friend and i started out as just co-workers and then started talking more and eventually things led to where we started talking about him taking my virginity and he would ask me for private or "personal" pictures and I was hesitant at first ...
A. 30 June 2014: What are you talking about him taking your virginity, dont you have some kids, including a set of twins?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hides couples photos of us on facebook but the ones with his ex girlfriend are there for all to see!
Q. Hi there, nothing major. just a quick question. My boyfriend keeps hiding photos of us together from his facebook timeline thing. This is going to sound very petty, but I'm just a bit worried that he's embarrassed about me or somethin...
A. 29 June 2014: Ask him straight out, how come you have photos of you and your ex girlfriend in full view on facebook and yet you hide any photographs of us together ... why is that?
And make sure he gives you a proper answer!
There could be a very simple expl... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to want a partner who desires me and finds me attractive?
Q. I have been married 16 years and have been bothered by something that may seem trivial to some people. I am aware that all people will notice other attractive people but my husband seems to have a real issue with this and I have talked to him about ...
A. 29 June 2014: Arrange a few sessions of couples counselling, your GP may be able to recommend somebody or if you are in a city or larger town, organisations such as Lifeline or the Salvation Army may be able to recommend somebody.
I would be reluctant to recon... (read in full...)
If he wants nothing to do with me why won't he just decline and block me on social media? Is he playing games leaving me hanging?
Q. My question is about a guy who appears to be "leading me on". About 9 months ago we had a terrible falling out. We were supposed to be just friends but I found out he was in love with me. He was very distraught that I discovered how he truly felt ...
A. 29 June 2014: He doesn't want your friendship, nor, it seems, does he want you following him on social media. Your assertion he "must be passive aggressive" is a bit of a joke really, because what label would you hang on somebody who tries to friend somebody who ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this situation? My mother in law and sister in law chose to get my son's hair cut without our permission. Am I over-reacting? It will grow. It's the disrespect that irritates me
Q. Hello Agony aunts, I have a major issue that I need advice on. My husband and I have a 2yr old son. He is currently in our hometown visiting family. My mother n law and sister n law decided to get my son hair cut( this was his 2nd cut) without...
A. 28 June 2014: I would also be upset, especially as you refer to it as 'an ordeal'. I know several little kids who were traumatized by their first few hair cuts ...
However, as Honeypie mentioned, your son wont know that its a bad cut, but I would also firmly a... (read in full...)
He wants a baby but doesn't want to get married
Q. I've been with my bf for two and half years. I'm 23 and he is 40. He was married and it ended with a nasty divorce (before we met). I honestly see him as the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with but there is a huge problem. He doesn't want ...
A. 27 June 2014: Marriage is a declaration by two people that they want to spend the rest of their lives together.
Marriage, apart from the ceremony in front of the priest with the big white dress and all the family, is also a legal contract, and while the stig... (read in full...)
How to get over this fall out with my uncle?
Q. Hi I had a 'fall out' with my uncle back in September last year and since then he has just totally ignored/blanked me....when before he wuld have spoken to come and not walk past and totally ignore me. It all started when he said I need to 'earn ...
A. 25 June 2014: I have lots of questions,
Why don't his sons get paid,
whose job is it to bring in the cows,
who owns the farm,
Do you benefit from the farm (ie get a share of any profits)
whose home were you in when this incident happened,
and did ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't want my daughter around when she has her daughter around. How to work through this?
Q. My girlfriend and I, both in our 40's, have been together for over 2 years, and have 6 kids in total. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs and I'm happy to say however that the good have definitely out weighed the bad. One of the stre...
A. 25 June 2014: DEALBREAKER!
This proposal is not the way forward to a blended family, if you go along with this favouring her daughter over yours, how do you think your daughter is going to feel, and, if you do agree to this outrageous suggestion, think of what... (read in full...)
Who shall I choose? My long term partner? Or the married guy from work whose wife treats him badly?
Q. I've been engaged for 6 months to a man who has doted on me for the last 4 years. He literally would do absolutely anything for me. We have a wonderful life together...we always cuddle, text, call, miss each other and go travelling lots, his hous...
A. 23 June 2014: If all you know is that you can't do this to your fiancé, then why are you doing this to your fiancé?
There is an old saying, 'cheats never prosper' you are cheating on your fiancé (see there, you CAN do that to your fiancé!) and this man, who... (read in full...)
Who shall I choose? My long term partner? Or the married guy from work whose wife treats him badly?
Q. I've been engaged for 6 months to a man who has doted on me for the last 4 years. He literally would do absolutely anything for me. We have a wonderful life together...we always cuddle, text, call, miss each other and go travelling lots, his hous...
A. 23 June 2014: If all you know is that you can't do this to your fiancé, then why are you doing this to your fiancé?
There is an old saying, 'cheats never prosper' you are cheating on your fiancé (see there, you CAN do that to your fiancé!) and this man, who... (read in full...)
Unwanted attention from an old guy at the restaurant
Q. Hello, This isn't really a relationship question but I need advice. I have 30 minute lunch breaks every time I work more than a 6 hour shift, which is about 4 days a week. Around my work, there's no where to really eat. We have a Dunkin Don...
A. 22 June 2014: A man aged around 50 is not elderly. I agree with everybody else, tell him you don't want his company. If he doesn't listen get somebody else to tell him, whether that is one of the managers from work or a member of your family doesn't matter. If ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes fun of me, my family and my culture in front of others!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially together for about 2 years now, but it seems as if we have been for 4 years when we first met. I am muslim and he is not inclined towards any one religion. I finally met his family in FL. We stayed at his ...
A. 21 June 2014: I would not touch this young man with a 10 foot pole let alone consider marrying him.
How disrespectful he was about Pakistan and the national dress is particular, to me indicated a great ignorance with no indication of him trying to educate ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I can't compete with her ex who just bought her a car
Q. This is probably gonna be a long story, but here goes: I recently graduated from college and moved back to my hometown. Between having a full-time job and not having many friends that still live here anymore, I decided to make an effort to date u...
A. 16 June 2014: You know something, a girl who accepts such a gift from a man she knows is trying to win her back, when she claims she doesn't want him back really doesn't seem that much of a catch to me.
Consider the consequences of that ....
What if she i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is refusing to get an STI test
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship although we have been friends for many years. We are trying to figure out if we want to move to the same country and make a go of things and will plan to spend a month together soon. My problem ...
A. 12 June 2014: You don't say what nationality your boyfriend is, and there is a slight (a very slight) chance there is some sort of cultural cringe or aversion happening here. Australians, for example, can sometimes be very lackadaisical when it comes to their ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and flirting on FB, where did I go wrong?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years we have gotten in a very big fight. He is out of town for work for three months. My boyfriend calls me once a day and thinks it is enough to sustain a relationship. He doesn't acknowledge me on ...
A. 12 June 2014: He doesn't want to spend quality time with you, you are not his priority, he doesn't want you to visit him, he doesn't acknowledge you on social media, he thinks a phone call once a day is sufficient.
Now he is threatening to break up with you... (read in full...)
Catholic man marrying atheist woman. Catholic church, civil ceremony or compromise?
Q. I am a catholic. My fiance is an atheist. We have been together for nearly 4 years and love each other very much. I want to get married in a catholic church and she wants a civil ceremony. We have stalled with wedding plans because we just don't ...
A. 12 June 2014: What's going to happen when you have kids, have you discussed that BIG issue?
A cousin of mine was an Anglican church goer, her fiancé insisted even though he hadn't been in a church since primary school) they marry in a catholic church .... the... (read in full...)
I'm confined to my own room while my roommate gets to decorate and furnish the rest of the apartment...
Q. I'm at a crossroads at the moment and it's stressing me out. I don't know what to do. My college roommate and I lived in our dorm room for two years and got along great so we decided to rent an apartment so we could increase our living space a bit. ...
A. 11 June 2014: I understand where you are coming from, if you have had no involvement it wont feel like its your home, but hers.
BUT there is a positive, when the lease is up, you can move out and find somewhere that YOU can decorate just the way you want, an... (read in full...)
Why is my friend's girlfriend so friendly to me in front of him?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for a few years. A few months ago he began living with this girl, and still together. They seem to get on very well. She often smiles at me, which I can accept(I get that often from girls, especially when ...
A. 11 June 2014: She's friendly, she is a friendly person, she like to let people know she cares about them because she is a friendly person .... maybe she learnt this from her mother, but surely, even Blind Freddie could see that if she is doing this in front of ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time with this girl?
Q. So there's this girl that I like and I've taken her out a couple of times now and just when things were looking up, she goes camping with her friends and sleeps with another guy when she was drunk. The next day this guy texts her saying he really ...
A. 10 June 2014: Fooey to hating hurting people, what does she think she is doing by not being honest with any of you.
I agree with you, if she liked you the other two would not make a difference.
Give her a wide berth, you don't need to be a part of her sill... (read in full...)
I don't think the ex has a right to question our financial decisions
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. My boyfriend has a child with ex wife. Whenever we spend money on ourselves he gets questioned why money was spent on us, and who paid. Recently we went away for a short holiday. His son (13) phoned and asked why he spent money ...
A. 8 June 2014: So rude!
She is just so rude!
Next time she questions who is earning money that is being spent on specific items such as holidays he is to tell her the question is inappropriate, and does not deserve an answer.
If she puts her son on to ask th... (read in full...)
Am I misunderstanding or is he wasting my time?
Q. me and a guy have been texting for 34wks now and we even went on a date which was fun he was telling me about how is ex upset him and cheated on him. He was also completly honest with me he said that he does not want to be offiical ...
A. 8 June 2014: This is my reading of this young man, he doesn't want you to be girlfriend and boyfriend officially, but it appears he does want sex, but he says it wont be FWB because you will be going on dates, (?) so would that be dating with sex but not ... (read in full...)
Am I to blame? My job's on the line.
Q. Hello guys and girls. So my question I will keep brief. Just need opinions really. I am the director of a public relations company. We have this new brand for a big well established company (they've put it out as side project) the new brand we...
A. 2 June 2014: I don't understand sageoldguy's response. However, its a tough question, and not being privy to how things work in your company it will be difficult to give specific advise.
If your previous record with the company has been good, hopefull... (read in full...)
I need to work out access arrangements.
Q. Hi, I will be filing a divorce petition soon and need some guidance for child visit arrangements on what people normally do. My ex stays 4 hours train journey from me and kids (we have 2 children 10 and 5). For the moment just to get away from him I ...
A. 31 May 2014: Its good to get everything sorted and written down. Some families opt for alternate special days as well, like Mother's Day and Father's Day so kids can visit with their grandparents.
Alternate weekends usually work until the kids get older an... (read in full...)
I should cut the cord, because it is better to have good memories than bad!
Q. Hi, I had a very bad break up a year ago and then after six months. I met a man who is 20 years elder to me and he was interested in me and we soon shared a very understanding relationship. we were very clear that we did not want to make a seriou...
A. 31 May 2014: His abruptly cancelling the plans tells me his wife found out what her lying, cheating, two timing husband was up to.
Of course he will be angry when you try to talk to him, he doesn't want his wife to toss him out on his ear.
All he wanted... (read in full...)
Does he love me, why does he talk to me?
Q. i first met my second cousin in 2010,when we were introduced to each other by our grandparents. we don't know anything more about each other and we see each other only one or two times a year. but,whenever he see me,he comes up and talks with me as ...
A. 31 May 2014: You were a child of around 6 or eight when you first met him, and since then you have seen him only few times a year.
Have you considered the possibility he talks to you to be friendly, because it would be rude to ignore you, because he likes to... (read in full...)
Given the circumstances why wont he give me a key?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about two and a half years. He is 35 and I am 27. He has been married before, I have not. I am at his place often, probably about 5 or 6 nights a week. I do not have a key, so if he has to work before me he will ...
A. 26 May 2014: Okay let me recap, so you are at his place 5 or six times a week, if he leaves for work before you, either you get a key to lock up, or you have a two hour period to fill.
If he leaves before you, he does not like you to leave the key under th... (read in full...)
She said she don't love me no more!
Q. My now ex and I have been on and off for 4 years now. Last year we split because she accused me of cheating and to me it felt like she wanted to be single so she didn't have to go with me places. She got pregnant early into our relationship, which ...
A. 25 May 2014: Yes, for some people feeling so up and down and not knowing which way to turn is normal after 10.5 months.
However, it I time you started to accept your life would be a lot more comfortable without all the drama.
Maybe once she sees you sta... (read in full...)
He's gone fishin' and I'm here all alone ..... again!
Q. Hello I've been with my boyfriend of two years. We have a great relationship until summer comes around. Every summer My boyfriend loves to salt water fish and his summers are filled with tropical trips to the islands and lots and lots of fishing. I ...
A. 25 May 2014: He certainly seems quite comfortable with the idea of only having a part time girlfriend and its lovely that your relationship with him is great .... for part of the year, and what a shame his selfish nature wont allow him to let you impinge on his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps registering on dating sites and tells me it's just "for a laugh"
Q. Could some one advise me what to do please? I have found my boyfriend to be registering on different date sites. This is the fourth time I found out about it now. He says its just for a laugh and unregisters from them, but then secretly registers on ...
A. 25 May 2014: Four times you are aware of.
The reason he is risking your relationship is because you have not acted the previous four times so he is pretty sure you wont act the fifth, sixth or seventh time either.
He knows it hurts you but does it anyway. ... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated by my girlfriend and have lost all my friends!
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for just over a year. I am a uni graduate, where she is didn't study after school. She is currently in part time employment and I'm studying. Is it normal to give your girlfriend first priority for eve...
A. 25 May 2014: First, good on you for having the courage to put your problem in words, your first step in what could be a painful process has been taken.
You know what really pulled at my heart strings, the fact you are allowing this young madam's histrion... (read in full...)
She stopped texting... What's the protocol?
Q. Hi, so this girl and i have been texting for a few months. She's cool, she's like a year or two younger than i am and normally she'd start the conversation, we talked pretty much every day but she hasn't texted in about two weeks and yeah, well i ...
A. 24 May 2014: In addition to Wise Owls comments, maybe she got sick of being the one to usually initiate the contacts.
Text her, ask her out, meet for coffee, check out the local museum, depends where you live what you could make your first 'date' but its no g... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for shaving my head even though my gf prefers it long?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm a young guy with an extremely noticeable receding hairline. I'm cool with shaving my head, I think it's comfortable and looks alright on me..but my gf hates! She makes me grow my hair out and it looks ridiculous. Am I wrong for ...
A. 24 May 2014: Tell her you will grow your hair (her preference), if she will shave hers (your preference).
... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship woes..is it worth it?
Q. Help! I'm in a long distance relationship, and have been for nearly 2 years. we've not spent much time together in person, 3 days and then 2 days, so just a few days here and there for only a few hours a day. most of the bonding has been online....
A. 23 May 2014: I think you have written about this previously and received excellent advise. Please go back and re read those answers.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-said-id-visit-my-ldr-girlfriend-but.html
... (read in full...)
Bad impression of company after first job interview. Do I send a thank you note or leave it behind?
Q. I recently finished my last semester of university and will be taking just one more class this summer. After that, I will be officially graduated. I had my first professional interview today with a small company. The company has been around for 20 ...
A. 23 May 2014: If you have definitely decided not pursue a position with this company, and because you have been requested to send further information before a second interview is granted I would consider sending a short email -- something along the lines of " ... (read in full...)
How do I move on and stay sane after finding out that he cheated?
Q. About two weeks ago I had an email from a guy saying that his girlfriend has been having sex with someone and he thinks it's with my fiance. I confronted my fiance about it and after a few minutes of him denying it he finally admitted it. He said ...
A. 22 May 2014: Believe me I understand about the mental images of them on that desk.
Is there any way he can get rid of that desk and get a new one?
If your partner doesn't seem to be able to understand how he lost your trust in a second and it will take... (read in full...)
How do I move on and stay sane after finding out that he cheated?
Q. About two weeks ago I had an email from a guy saying that his girlfriend has been having sex with someone and he thinks it's with my fiance. I confronted my fiance about it and after a few minutes of him denying it he finally admitted it. He said ...
A. 21 May 2014: Why hurt the girl, she didn't cheat on you, the person you should be concerned about is your boyfriend, he is the one who couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
It will take a lot of work for you and your partner to move on, especially on his part... (read in full...)
I have anger issues with my boyfriend and would like help in dealing with them
Q. Hello, im 18 years old. my boyfriend is 19 and we've been dating for about 4 years. (on and off) we've been through pretty much a lot, things i never imagined he would hurt me doing. and well I've been trying to work on my anger issues. i get ...
A. 20 May 2014: I have some questions for you, your answers will help me see the situation more clearly to be able to give my advise.
Why does this 19 year old young man have to ask you if he can eat out with his cousins?
Does he always not listen, or only ... (read in full...)
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