Should I still visit my boyfriend every weekend when he's busier than I am?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a few months. He is currently studying for his LSAT everyday, while I am busy with just school. I sleep over his place every weekend; I come late at night, and then leave the next afternoon. Although, I am c...
A. 1 December 2013: No, you should not be expecting less from him, quite the contrary, you should be expecting more, much more!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had a secret porn blog and we barely have sex anymore. Should I leave him?
Q. Okay so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months. We've been fighting a lot lately. I found out he had a porn blog on tumblr and i got upset I made him chose me or delete it. He deleted it but he's been such an ass. Hes had an attitude...
A. 1 December 2013: If having a porn blog is what he enjoys then leave him to it, let him have his enjoyment. Why have a boyfriend that doesn't enjoy YOU?
Walk away from this first class idiot, no need to run, next time he mentions the blog just pick up your pur... (read in full...)
Should I still visit my boyfriend every weekend when he's busier than I am?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a few months. He is currently studying for his LSAT everyday, while I am busy with just school. I sleep over his place every weekend; I come late at night, and then leave the next afternoon. Although, I am c...
A. 1 December 2013: Your relationship seems very one sided, you are the one doing all the travelling, and all the visiting, also the one organising when you meet and get together.
Seems to me he isn't putting any effort at all into this relationship, but he is getti... (read in full...)
My boyfriend throws tantrums when he doesn't get his own way!
Q. My boyfriend likes to make plans for us with or without me and it is driving me crazy (it's relevant that we live together). I say yes to much of what he suggests, but sometimes I just don't feel like going. He will suggest something in say, a week ...
A. 1 December 2013: Sit him down in the most unthreatening spot in your home, usually the kitchen table. Sit beside him, and tell him you want to talk, make sure he is there with you by looking into his eyes.
Make sure he keeps looking at you while you talk, if... (read in full...)
Why is he so angry when he wanted it to end?
Q. Hi so this is definitely the last question about this particular man that I will ask! I'm just trying to get my head round this last development to be honest. So my ex and i were seeing each other for 5 months, it was mainly lovely, we went on...
A. 30 November 2013: The time for discussion about money was BEFORE you went on holiday, not now. If there was no discussion, let alone agreement, about the money you do not have a leg to stand on. I think you are just going to have to let it drop.
I agree with Hon... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable not being wanted around his friends and family
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year ive only met his mom once and that was when we first started dating. I've only met 3 of his friends. He won't take me around his mom or his other friends. He always says something like his mom ...
A. 30 November 2013: Short answer, yes.
This relationship is not making you happy, on the contrary it is making you feel uncomfortable and awkward. We all deserve better than that.
Try talking to your boyfriend, ask him if he sees the situation changing radical... (read in full...)
If you were me, what would you do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Not sure what I am asking for here but I wanted to share something with you. I have a friend who I was close with for the last 3 years, let’s call him Ed. We became close friends after issues happening in our lives made us need suppo...
A. 30 November 2013: There is no need to dump Ed now that Greg has come along, there is no reason why you cant be part of a number of social circles. As for getting close to Greg based on what happened with Ed, are you really willing to close part of yourself down just ... (read in full...)
Her lack of support in this situation is making me re-think dating her
Q. HELLO EVERY ONE,well ive been seeing some one for acouple weeks, was ask over to her daughters house for thanksgiven, she lives their. Well every thing was going great, then her daughter ex husband showed up, invited, but with in five minutes he ...
A. 30 November 2013: The ex husband who likes to yell is always going to be part of the scene, especially if your lady lives with their daughter.
Yes, you were a guest in that house, and as such the family, the lady, her daughter and the ex husband, should have tre... (read in full...)
I'm in a huge mess...and I have no idea what to do now!!
Q. So there's a long story to this one. I like this girl that I volunteer with. She's three years younger than me and she's an EMT, I'm a firefighter and EMT driver. We both ride the same nights and have been friends for three or four years now. We ...
A. 29 November 2013: My advise is the same as I gave you previously, leave her alone. Stop discussing her with other people, stop trying to work out what she is thinking, just leave her alone.
You are coming across as stalkerish creepy.
Who she choses to talk t... (read in full...)
Did the text mean that he was looking to have sex?
Q. So this guy was flirting with me. We were texting and talking about the movie I just watched. Then he said "If you're free we can do something maybe... ;)" Did he mean sex? And how should I react to it? This msg just kinda popped out of nowhere. ...
A. 29 November 2013: Unless the movie and the flirting were full of hot torrid sexy talk there is no reason to assume the guy was suggesting sex. He might have meant get a coffee, see a movie, or just get together and catch up. ... (read in full...)
My ex went off on me because I'm seeing his married friend. I don't know what to do
Q. where do i start its a long story , iv been trying to get a hold of my x for the longest time we did not part well, anyway we had been together for 4 yrs friends befor that so finly did reach him we stared talking again he said he would come and ...
A. 29 November 2013: Cut all contact with the ex, he is an ex for a reason, for him to tell you to wait for him, and then you not hear anything for a long time says your ex is unreliable. Add to that the fact he doesn't want to deal with you any more, just don't have ... (read in full...)
I feel like I am not part of my boyfriend's life. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been dating a guy for around 6 months. During this time we have seen each other at weekends and once during the week. To begin with this was fine, but now I am starting to feel this relationship is stalling. We have a great sex...
A. 29 November 2013: You found out he is moving .... that sound like he didn't tell you anything about it, or why he is moving, or when he decided to move, and moving is quite major news and a big enough decision to have discussed with somebody significant in your ... (read in full...)
Should I sleep with my ex casually?
Q. My Ex, who I have not seen in about 7 years, recently invited me over to have a drink. He asked me if I wanted to have sex. I was shocked as he married since our breakup but apparently is splitting up. I told him I was looking for a relationship, ...
A. 29 November 2013: Ask yourself, and be brutally honest in your response
"what's in it for me"?
Your answers will probably include:
sex without love
being used for sex only
unfulfilled hopes and dreams
lots of heartache
more tears than he is worth
do you... (read in full...)
Am I right not trusting my partner after finding out his ex stayed when I wasn't there??
Q. Hi I'm seeking advice and I guess because I'm in a new country and feeling isolated, some strength and direction to help get my thoughts together and make some decisions would be really helpful. I've been in a relationship with my partner for over...
A. 26 November 2013: If she is "just a friend" he would not continue to keep their interaction and meetings secret. If you are worried about your legal standing and that you could be kicked out seek advice from a lawyer, a social worker or a women's centre.
Don't... (read in full...)
Boyfiend Won't Spend Christmas with Me
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months now. We're very close, get along great, and he's met my family (extended family included) and seemed to like all of them. However, last week I asked him of he had plans for Christmas. He said no ...
A. 26 November 2013: it is not that Christmas doesn't bother him it's that he, and other Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas. Let him be, Christmas holds no significance for him.
I would imagine if he is not a staunch follower and if your relationship continue... (read in full...)
I want to break up but how? Or am I overreacting?
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for almost 4 years. Typical love story, we met while travelling to our home town at a friend's place, we met we hit it off instantly, we promised to keep in touch, we emailed, we sent text messages, spent ...
A. 25 November 2013: Personally in my head it would be over already, I would not email, I would not phone, I would just let it, and him, slide silently away. He has already withdrawn from the relationship.
Maybe in a few months he might wake up and the light globe co... (read in full...)
What do you do when the girl you love, loves someone else?
Q. I am single,the old adage is I have really fancied this girl at work for so long, over a year in fact.We always have such a laugh, talk for ages we have so much in common it just feels right talking to her. I never did anything because she had a ...
A. 25 November 2013: Why do you say she is just leading you on?
From reading your letter at first I thought you had loved from the sidelines, and that this girl knew nothing of your true feelings. If you really feel that she is leading you on, then at some stage sh... (read in full...)
Unresolved issues with my father -- should I just forget about it?
Q. My parents got divorced when I was around 12 years old. My parents sold their house, and I moved into a new one with my mom and grandma. My dad got his own place and I would spend time there every other weekend. A few years after my father moved ...
A. 23 November 2013: You visited with your father every second weekend until you turned 16. So it does not really seem to me that he was a dead beat dad.
You have not mentioned why he moved, maybe he felt at 16 and after 4 years of ensuring you were okay, it would be... (read in full...)
Boyfriend keeping my children a secret from his family
Q. I have a huge problem. I have been dating a guy long distance for 2 years. I met his family a while back and I could clearly tell that he had not told them I was divorced, with 2 kids. I didn't make a big deal about it but moving forward, I'm now ...
A. 23 November 2013: That is a huge problem. I hate the thought of your boyfriend trying to hide your children away, especially if he has told his family about the new baby.
I think you need to accept it is crunch time! Either he accepts you as a package with two... (read in full...)
How can I fix this big mess I caused?
Q. Please read this before you jump into conclusions that anyone is over reacting thank you http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-her-but-i-messed-up.html So I messed up again. I saw someone come down my street with what looked like he...
A. 20 November 2013: You Sir, are an arsehat!
Making assumptions and then calling the police on an innocent person and also involving "the chief" clearly puts you on the back foot.
I suggest that during Friday's meeting where this will be settled as adults you m... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to listen to me when I need to talk to him seriously?
Q. I am so unhappy with my long distance boyfriend of 3 years but every time I try to initiate a talk he starts shouting or tells me I'm a nag or puts the phone down on me. I can't even tell him I want to break up with him because if I manage to say ...
A. 15 November 2013: Firstly, don't call him.
Secondly, when/if he phones you ask him if he is willing to talk to you, and when he starts shouting, or talking over you, simply hang up.
IF/when it gets to a stage he does listen, tell him his drunkedness and bullying... (read in full...)
My marriage is old, and I need advice!
Q. I'm 53, hubby is 66! We have not spoke to each other for several days! Even though we live in the same house and sleep in the same bed!We have grown children and grandchildren. He has no care for his family but would do anything in his power for a ...
A. 13 November 2013: Quietly talk to a lawyer to see how things stand financially, you are only 53 .... I am almost 60 ..... it is not too late to leave and start living your life, and stop covering for him, especially to the kids, they are adults and can cope with the ... (read in full...)
I trust him, but I worry he will cheat on me!
Q. I trust my boyfriend but last time he went out with the boys he got drunk and slept another woman. Now he's out again and I'm afraid it will happen again. I want to trust that he will make the right choice this time. I just can't make myself stop ...
A. 10 November 2013: When I talk with older women, about how they found out their husbands, partners, long term boyfriends etc were cheating, all say it started with a gut feeling. Same with me, there were small signs, changes in behaviour, changes in routine, ... (read in full...)
I didn't say "I love you" to her, and now she considers kicking me out of her life!
Q. My girlfriend and I recently broke up and things have been going downhill from there. She said she needed time because she was so angry but I told her I needed her and she deliberately chose not to be there for me. That hurt me deeply. She still ...
A. 10 November 2013: You sound to me like a spoilt brat!
You don't tell us what was so important you needed your girlfriend to 'be there' for you, just what was it that was so important you expected her to just drop everything she was doing and be there?
You say... (read in full...)
In a new country and not sure how to make friends...
Q. Hi all! I moved in another country and been living here for few yrs now, but I have difficulty to make new friends.. most of the time Im very lonely and getting depressed. I have partner but most of the day he is working and I miss my girl friends ...
A. 8 November 2013: Is the place you are in big enough for adult learning classes, you could try cooking classes, learn to cook the local cuisine, I see you have an aussie flag, if you are Australian living elsewhere, start cooking lamingtons and other aussie delights ... (read in full...)
He won't help clean our apartment!
Q. Okay everyone. I need some help! My boyfriend and I fight a lot because he will not help me our apartment clean. Right now it is so gross. Dishes everywhere, clothes and trash in the floor. Food all over the counters in the kitchen. I stopped ...
A. 2 November 2013: Yes, he is obviously not mature enough to be living as an adult so send him home to him mommy until he grows up a bit. Honestly, tell him to move out.... (read in full...)
He has made me so angry! How can I make myself calm down?
Q. I am so angry and don't know were to begin with this....I will explain as best I can so please be patient... my boyfriend has an ex wife and two kids of 15 and 17. I am finding it hard to trust him lately as he keeps going out for hours and I get ...
A. 2 November 2013: First step towards being calm is having an outlet to vent your anger, and you have done that here.
Good!
Now, simply take three long deep breaths, concentrate on breathing in, and then slowly breath it out .... breath out all the crap and neg... (read in full...)
Should I cut my really long hair because my boyfriend likes short hair?
Q. I have really long hair. Myboyfriend an i really love each other. but he likes hair short so he is asking me to cut them. should i do what he says. i cant make up my mind but i do want to make him happy...
A. 2 November 2013: I am sure the reason you have long hair is because that's how YOU like it, which is great because it is YOUR hair.
You don't say how long you and he have been boyfriend and girlfriend but if your hair is really long, I suspect you had it befor... (read in full...)
My friend expects me to do sexual things that I am not ready to do!
Q. Okay so my guy friend talks about having oral sex with me and he wants me to squirt on him and I am nervous because I don't want to have sex with him if we are not married. We went out only one time and with my ex- boyfriends they never put that ...
A. 1 November 2013: yuch, yuch, yuch! One date and he is already pressing for the stuff I would regard as kinky!
You are totally within your rights to want to wait until you feel comfortable getting sexy. If he doesn't want to wait at least a few months then you... (read in full...)
My husband forgot my birthday again, what do I do?
Q. What should I do? I really have no idea. My husband forgot my birthday last year and demanded that I come up with what to do to get him "in the clear". He once again forgot my birthday this year. I was devastated. I was out of town but he had known ...
A. 26 October 2013: I'd be pretty damned angry too if he remembered to wish my twin sister happy birthday and not me!! Especially in light of the fact he forgot last year and should have learned from that, how important your birthday is to you!
Twice now he has r... (read in full...)
How do I explain my time off?
Q. So I decided to take this year off due to complete exhaustion and stress. I've been in school for several years now, and I needed a break. I haven't told any of my friends yet, because in my past experience they have asked nosy questions. I di...
A. 24 October 2013: The "doing nothing" and "must be nice" comments could be because they are wondering how you are going to survive financially for a year, and yes, while your finances are nobody else's business if you have been at school for years it is unlikely you ... (read in full...)
Why should I do if my mum doesn't approve?
Q. I'm a 39 ear old guy in Dublin, and fancy 2 women. First woman is 46 years old and lives in London and we have known each other for just over a month now. I have sent her flowers and 2 gifts. The second woman is 39 and lives in Cork, and Ive known ...
A. 20 October 2013: As we get older a seven year age difference does not seem as large a gap as it would when we are still teenagers or early 20s. You don't say why you feel your Mam might be unhappy about the age gap, has she been making noises about wanting ... (read in full...)
We broke up but still spending time together even though she's hurting.
Q. me and my ex have been in a relationship for 2 years before we broke up. the break up was a very very bad one. however, we talk and still take trips together. she still buy me things. she say she cant forgive me for the past and want to move on.she ...
A. 19 October 2013: Suggest couples counselling to her, the situation as it is seems to be getting worse, rather than better.
If you have hurt her and broken her trust it will take a very long time for you to regain that trust.
A professionally trained counsell... (read in full...)
What should I do? My boyfriend is not pleased I am not a virgin.
Q. my boyfriend asked me if i'm a virgin or not.i told him the truth,am not a virgin and he's not pleased at all because he's a virgin.what should i do?...
A. 19 October 2013: This is not something you can change to make him happy. Ask him what he is expecting you to do to fix the situation.
If he really cannot accept you as a non virgin the relationship is doomed from the start. If he is giving you a hard time or ... (read in full...)
Do I struggle to stay and finish my course and graduate with my friends or do I take a year off? Help!
Q. I need some serious honest advice, i'm having to make the biggest decision and I'm stuck. My whole life plan has been ruined by something major and I didn't prepare myself for the outcome of changing plans. I had an accident over summer which mea...
A. 18 October 2013: Life happens. And sometimes, when it does, it can be frustrating, disheartening, life threatening, etc etc all the negative stuff life can be at times.
It is your choice, struggle and maybe risk your health to maybe graduate with your best fri... (read in full...)
New girlfriend is friends with recent lovers. Feels bad to me.
Q. New relationship-about 5 weeks. We are both in our 40s. Recently, she went out with an ex-BF who she briefly dated, but didn't work out, but continued sleeping with, most recently a few weeks before she and I met. She told me after the fact t...
A. 18 October 2013: You know, I can understand your point of view, and I can see her's also when she says she can be friends with who she wants.
From where I am sitting its only been five weeks since your relationship began, everything is bright and new and shiny ..... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: I am getting older and grumpier so my first response was to just walk away now, and save yourself a lot of grief.
But you have been married for two years now, so I assume he must have some redeeming qualities besides his money.
There are a l... (read in full...)
My girlfirend has stopped listening to me ,,,,,
Q. My age 19 and my partner age 16. I love her for the past 1 and a half year. Until the first half of the year everything was going well,she used to obey me,doesn't harass me etc. But after she changed her school,her character is totally changed. She ...
A. 12 October 2013: I am hoping your use of the word 'obey' is simply a language issue and not as I would normally read it.
To expect your 16 year old girlfriend to be obeying her 19 year old boyfriend is not acceptable. Neither of you should be obeying the other. ... (read in full...)
I want THAT commitment!
Q. I have been with my BF for almost 4 years. It was a bit of a whirl wind to star with.he was my first BF my first everything. We fell in love very quickly and I moved into his parents Home, that was another other side of the country after only 8 ...
A. 12 October 2013: If you are waiting for your partner to fall on one knee and declare his undying love for you, and to proffer a big (or tiny) diamond (or zirconium) ring as a symbol of that declaration it isn't going to happen. If he was the sort of man to do that, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's angry venomous words are really getting to me!
Q. My girlfriend gets mad at me over such petty things and then says awful things to me and breaks up with me. It's a terrible pattern and it's killing me. We are literally great one minute, then the next, out of nowhere, something small and trivia...
A. 5 October 2013: What would I do? I would walk!
Especially as your question suggests this is on going and not a once off that could be explained away.
You have given her enough chances, next time she starts just pick up your bag and walk away.... (read in full...)
He would make plans with me, then disappear and turn off his cell.
Q. hello I have a guy friend.he met me once. he would always make plans with me. but he wouldnt turn up on the day we make plans. Its always he who makes the plans. but finally when i call him on the day he made the plan his cell is off. goes direct...
A. 22 September 2013: Simple, don't make plans with him, and considering his behaviour I would suggest you have a good long think about why he is even in your life, unless he is adding something positive to it put him in the "mere acquaintance" pile and limit your ... (read in full...)
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