A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of only a few month. Didnt see me on valentines day. And didnt get me a card or present. When i asked about it? He just said he didnt believe in all that none sense. I'm a little bit hurt about it but not sure whether i'm being over sensitive. My previous boyfriends have all been quite romantic and have completely spoilt me on valentines day. Despite the fact we get on well. I already know my new boyfriend is not the romantic type! Surely he could have made some small effort though. What are your thoughts? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2014):
 If he doesn't do this made up holiday, then he doesn't do it.
IF you want/need him to acknowledge it (and you) then you must tell him... "hon I know you don't do V-day but I kind of do and would really appreciate it if you could at least manage a card and some flowers"
I am very glad I checked with my hubby this year.. I was all set to ignore V-day... I asked him "so are we ignoring the holiday this year?" and he said "I am NOT" so I quick scrambled to find something for him....
men are not mind readers you have to kind of tell them what you need/want.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2014): I think you're expecting too much from a guy you know is not romantic.
If you want romance he's not your guy, simple as that. That's like being pissed off at someone for not eating mushrooms when they've already told you they hate them.
You've disappointed yourself with unrealistic expectations of a guy who will never live up to them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2014): I don't care about valentine's day at all, where I am from it means nothing at all, but we have another day when boyfriends/girlfriends exchange gifts. If my bf were romantic and I knew that he expected to get something, even a card, I would buy/make him something just to make him happy. Your bf sounds VERY selfish, specially if he knew that the date meant something to you. Did you get him something btw? tbh OP if one month into this relationship he hasn't made the effort, do not expect much from him. and I would go as far as to doubt whether he is really into you
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 February 2014):
 To me Valentine's Day is just another over commercialised opportunity for corporations to make a few quick bucks but then, it was never part of Australia's culture when I was growing up but seems to be creeping in now, along with Halloween and several other imported 'days'.
All your previous boyfriends are now ex boyfriends, so while they managed to get it right for you regards Valentine's Day it seems they didn't get everything right, or they would not be ex's .....
You've said you already knew he was not the romantic type, and this is just further proof of that.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 February 2014):
Valentine's day is a sham. However if he's not the romantic type and you are then you're in for a lot of complaining. I think that's a deal breaker.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 February 2014):
 For a "new" B/F (of "only a few months") to think that he could get away with the chintzy excuse that he ".. didn't believe in all that none sense.." is REALLY telling you that he is quite lackidasical about you.... and what you (and your potential "relationship") actually means to him.
Think about it.... are you sufficiently enamored of this Neanderthal that you are going to endure him having little or no "romance" in his make-up????? If "yes," then you (and he) are on your way. If "no," then you have found out, early-on, that he isn't much of the kind of boyfriend that you want.... so you can dump him, now, and look for one who is more to your liking....
Good luck.... (and Happy Valentine's Day).... (I got my girlfriend a new 6-way screwdriver and a dozen roses!!!).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2014):
 I don't do Valentine's day, my husband doesn't either - sometimes I sees something while out and about (around Valentine's Day) but generally speaking it's not a big deal in our household.
Did you GET him anything? Card, candy? Or are you of the belief that only MEN can/should be romantic in a relationship?
And I think instead of feeling hurt, you should tell him that you actually enjoy the holiday, but you can decide if you are OK with him not doing anything or not.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (16 February 2014):
 My ex husband was really into Valentines day, would shower me with cards and presents, chocolates and flowers and I look back now and think, why?
He admitted when we divorced that he hadn't loved me for many years so, to me, it was just a socially expected thing for him to do.
When my current husband and I got together we were both divorced and were totally broke, we had no money at all and quickly admitted that we felt that any money we did have would be best put towards our future rather than lining the pockets of florists etc.
We always believed, after the crap relationships we'd had, that we should show each other love affection every day, not just one day a year.
When, completely out the blue, for no reason at all my husband comes home with a bunch of flowers for me, it feels totally special and romantic because it's not something we often do.
Little things show that you care, cost nothing and mean the world. A touch, a smile, a cup of tea in the morning before you go to work even when he was on a day off and didn't need to get up, defrosting the car early in the morning so I don't have too, writing "I love you" on the bathroom mirror so I see it when I get out of the shower, you get the idea.
Ask yourself this, if your boyfriend never showed you affection but was totally romantic on just one day of the year, Valentine's day, because it was expected and what everyone else was doing would that make you feel special and loved?
If your boyfriend is romantic and affectionate and shows you he loves you at all other times but chooses wisely not to waste his cash on an over commercialised, quite frankly, made up day, then is that really a bad thing?
I cringe when I hear the girls at work saying things like "he had better have got me a load of gifts and lovely card today or he won't be getting any loving tonight!"
So in answer to your question, I can't stand Valentine's day but I love romance, love and affection, I just can't see why people put so much stock into one day of the year.
It's only my opinion but I hope it helps AB x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): I can understand - I'd be hurt too! To me a present is irrelevant but if u are both fortunate enough to be able to spend time together on v day then he should've made an effort to do that!
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