I'm at a crossroads, do I work things out with my ex or stay with my new boyfriend?
Q. Hello! I am taking the time in advance for taking the time to read my agony and for any help you may provide. I also apologize for the lenghty paragraph. I am at a crossroads. I have an ex husband who I was with for 6 years and we have a...
A. 11 April 2014: If you are so conflicted do the smart thing and don't chose either of them.
Your ex is an ex for a reason, and after such a long period of time since you split you will never be able to go back to some idyllic moment in the past. Too much water ha... (read in full...)
Dream wedding and budget woes, am I asking for too much?
Q. My fiance and I will be together for four years the end of June. We got engaged the end of this January and I wanted to figure things out with my education before we got into the thick of wedding planning. I'll graduate with my Bachelor's in English ...
A. 10 April 2014: I'm not sure what a typical wedding in the US comprises of, but you can go non traditional and still have a fun time with all your family and friends, while on a budget.
Second hand or hired/borrowed wedding dress. Are seven bridesmaids really n... (read in full...)
First love, reunited 30 years later, he's married!!!
Q. Where do I start? Guess at the beginning ... 30+ years ago, I fell in love with a boy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He was my first love, physically and emotionally. His family moved away and our relationship, due to ...
A. 9 April 2014: He doesn't believe in divorce but he is quite happy to make you "the other woman"
Nice distinction he has there. ... (read in full...)
First love, reunited 30 years later, he's married!!!
Q. Where do I start? Guess at the beginning ... 30+ years ago, I fell in love with a boy that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He was my first love, physically and emotionally. His family moved away and our relationship, due to ...
A. 9 April 2014: Woah, what a swine of a man!
Stop answering those daily calls. I agree with Cabbage, your first true love turned out to be a two-faced liar and a cheat.
Luckily you are no longer the girl who was taken in by him thirty years ago, now you are... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be-deported husband is spending my money on his mother and told me not to spend it on my own parents! Any ideas what to do?
Q. My husband is to be deported and is currently detained by immigration. I have financially supported him for a long time now and also whilst he is in immigration detention i have sent money and visited 3 times per week. He has been detained now for ...
A. 9 April 2014: Your money, you earned it, seek professional, legal help, you are under NO obligation to give him access to your money.
I don't understand what is going on here, he is being deported, has been locked up for a year, and you are talking about ta... (read in full...)
Men: is this a real belief?
Q. Question for the gentlemen only please :) This doesn't actually relate to me as such, but it's something that I heard and thought was ridiculous. I was talking to my male friend and we were discussing girlfriends and things and I ask...
A. 7 April 2014: When paper drinking straws were the norm green ones caused pregnancy ................ (read in full...)
It was as if I was with a zombie.
Q. Teenage problem. I recently went on a first trip with my friend's daughter who is almost 14. My daughter is grown up and live in a different city. I went to visit her and took my friend' s daughter who I know from her birth. We have, or had very...
A. 6 April 2014: I don't think you overreacted, and I feel your frustration!
I have also removed cells from hands (twice) and put them on the nearest surface, face down, when trying to talk to this age group, especially if they have come to me for informat... (read in full...)
I want to use this meeting to get closure
Q. Hi My question is next weekend I will meeting my ex to return his dvds. It’s been 3 months since our breakup and this will be the first time we’ll meet. I am dreading this meet up but another reason to meet up is to get closure. We were togethe...
A. 6 April 2014: How is talking to him about the breakup, and going over it all again going to help you put it behind you and move on.
He is under no obligation to discuss anything with you, not the weather, not the football results nor the breakup.
If he h... (read in full...)
Threesome with a friend, should I do it?
Q. My best friend asked me to join her and a guy she is casually dating for a threesome. I am thinking about it because there are no feeling involved and maybe it could be a good idea to see what this is all about. Do you think I should do it? Would ...
A. 6 April 2014: How do you think your best friend is going to feel when she is left on the sidelines and the guy she is dating is going hell for leather giving you all he has got to give?
When you say there are no feelings involved, what about the feelings... (read in full...)
I've hardly seen him since November and all he says is that he is a bit busy at the moment!
Q. im so confused right now,i met a guy on plenty of fish in 2010 and have got on well since then the first yr we only spoke on phone and never met since them we have obv met and he has moved on with us once may 2012 until aug 2012, then he moved but ...
A. 5 April 2014: My initial thoughts about your situation are not really positive for you, why did he move out in 2012 after living with you from May until August, and again after only 5 or so months in 2013?
Did he move in to be with you, or because he had nowh... (read in full...)
I have a problem with my long distance relationship.
Q. I'll include the story of how this relationship came to be, just in case it helps. Last year in October a friend of mine added the most wonderful girl I've ever known into a Skype conference call. We immediately noticed things we had in common a...
A. 5 April 2014: Long distance relationships can be very difficult to maintain, even for people who have been married to each other for years and years.
Your young lady (ex girlfriend) is still finding her feet, working out what suits her and what doesn't,... (read in full...)
I thought getting married would fix her insecurities, but she is still acting abnormal and crazy on a daily basis. Do I let her file for divorce or stay and try to work it out?
Q. Its been a while agony aunts since I wrote in. Same or similar story, same girl. This time I really did it though. I went and married her on December 21st, 2013. Didn't take the advice, I tried, unplugged for a whopping 4 weeks, thought I was doing ...
A. 5 April 2014: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/throwing-in-the-towel-is-never-been-an.html
It would seem you ignored all advise you have received from this site in the past, went totally against everything, and here you are again, in a worse situation than bef... (read in full...)
Neither one of us is prepared to make the first move
Q. Dear friends, There is a colleague at work to whom I have been attracted to but I have never showed any interest in him because he,s 7 years younger than me. We went together to a business trip and we had a really good time without any explicit...
A. 2 April 2014: Lolita, I was not there when your colleagues and the young man in question discussed feelings and emotions and you at a BUSINESS dinner, but if I were you I would not be giving any credence to whatever those colleagues told you especially as they ... (read in full...)
Can we stay friends? We dated and were intimate.
Q. I met this guy online 3 months ago, We have been dating off and on during that time period. We have been intimate and that has been a major problem during our "relationship" I have called it off several times because he didn't want to be exclusively ...
A. 1 April 2014: You both want different things, he wants unexclusive sex, you want a relationship with exclusive sex.
His wanting to stay friends with no sex free dating, is a way to stay in touch in case you change your mind about the sex, in the meantime... (read in full...)
Didn't know I was pregnant so missed out on the early pregnancy care
Q. ive just found out im pregnant. thing is, I could highly possibly be around 26 weeks gone. I say this as months ago I missed a couple of periods but then they came back, pretty normal so I didn't think anything of it. recently have been getting ...
A. 29 March 2014: When I was in hospital for my daughter's birth there was a woman in the same ward didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour, she thought it was really, really bad constipation pains ......... the baby was born on the bathroom floor at ... (read in full...)
My mum is depressed and having trouble at work, and I'm not sure how to help her
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, Just need some advice on how to help my mum. She suffered with depression, had medication and seemed to get out of it. Just recently she seemed to have slipped back into the depression. She's having trouble at work as they'...
A. 29 March 2014: Just be there, be supportive, start dinner before she gets home, be welcoming, and let her know that although you can't doing anything about the situation, you are there to listen if she needs it!!
Chin up!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to break it off with him!
Q. Any one good at body language?? I think my boyfriend I had over a decade is trying to get me to dump him but I can't he started a fight today.. even during the fight he said I'm not breaking up with you, your gonna do it this time is what he said.. ...
A. 29 March 2014: Sweet heart, listen to me, having a man, any man, in your life is often worse than having no man at all in it.
Ask yourself, how does this man add to the quality of your life, does the thought and sight of him fill you with happiness? Is he there... (read in full...)
How can my grandparents and I come to some consensus? My grandparents don't agree with gay marriage and parenting
Q. Hi. I'm struggling with accepting that my grandma and grandpa don't agree with gay marriage and parenting. Their reasoning is that marriage is a religious thing (though I pointed out that many non-religious people get married) and it would be unna...
A. 27 March 2014: Its amazing how accepting the older generation can be when they learn their grandchildren are gay .... my mother has two gay grandchildren and her sister has one.
There were no major announcements, no 'coming outs' no big discussions. I think, a... (read in full...)
He disappeared from my life and now he is back, should I hear him out?
Q. Hi everyone, I had posted a question a while back (My boyfriend has disappeared and I'm very worried.) After a about almost two months now I have moved forward but was still wondering what had happened I heard from him. I was looking at my em...
A. 27 March 2014: is this your original question?:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-has-disappeared-and-i-am-very.html
Short answer to your question is NO
Long answer, two months of talking to somebody long distance and never having met face to... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm pushing him away. How do I salvage this?
Q. okay, its a pretty complicated case. so guy a and girl b are very good friends and over time girl b starts falling helplessly in love with guy a. at first she thinks he may have feelings for her, but now guy a has a girlfriend. despite all this, guy ...
A. 24 March 2014: If guy a wants to be showered with affection girl b should tell him where to go, ie to his girlfriend. If he is now saying girl b should have mentioned she liked guy a before he got a girlfriend, girl a needs to recognise guy a is playing games with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I'm no longer included in our group vacation
Q. So I am with my boyfriend for over a year , and its your typical relationships with petty fights about jealousy and everything, but we do have a good relationship. Over the last few weeks, he has changed in some ways, like always saying before he...
A. 24 March 2014: PS, sorry, I logged back in to say, despite your assertion in your first sentence, you do NOT HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. Anybody in a good relationship would not be here outlining your relationship (A NOT GOOD RELATIONSHIP) as you have here.
Dump ... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm pushing him away. How do I salvage this?
Q. okay, its a pretty complicated case. so guy a and girl b are very good friends and over time girl b starts falling helplessly in love with guy a. at first she thinks he may have feelings for her, but now guy a has a girlfriend. despite all this, guy ...
A. 24 March 2014: Girl b needs to accept that whilst some friendships last a lifetime, some have use by dates, and if guy a's religion is a very important facet of who he is and where he sees himself in this world, she needs to accept that!
Girl b also needs to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me I'm no longer included in our group vacation
Q. So I am with my boyfriend for over a year , and its your typical relationships with petty fights about jealousy and everything, but we do have a good relationship. Over the last few weeks, he has changed in some ways, like always saying before he...
A. 24 March 2014: Hey, just pick up your handbag and walk, no talk, just walk.
What does this person deserve from you, I wouldn't even be bothering to talk to him, if the phone rings, don't answer, if he texts, don't respond, if he emails ignore, if he knocks o... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad a boss?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. This is a work related problem and I could really do with some advice. I work in lovely public relations company and head up the consumer team of about 4. Since summer it has just been me and one other up until month ...
A. 18 March 2014: That sounds horrible, and sounds horrible also that YOUR boss automatically assumed the worst ..........
Its going to be tough, but you are going to have to talk to the staff member who wrote the emails
Its a work computer, so really, anything... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gone off sex
Q. Me and my partner are both 24, we've been together for 5 years. For the past few months, he wont have sex with me, I try to touch him but he'll push me away, say he's tired, make excuses like 'it's too early' 'later' and he has a headache. I've told ...
A. 17 March 2014: Tell him what you have told us "I feel like I can't be with him any more because I constantly feel rejected".
Ask him if that is what he wants, tell him to be honest with you. If he doesn't want to break up he needs to demonstrate that, actions ... (read in full...)
Is 26 too late to start a new life?
Q. I've suffered from serious bouts of depression and anxiety related disorders since I was 18, and used to binge drink regularly to alleviate my woes. I'm almost 26 and I don't know how but i'm managing to overcome this mindset which has made my life ...
A. 17 March 2014: Its never too late and you are never too old. I ahve started over a few times, aged about 21, again 36, and 40 and more recently in my 50s (so far so good).
Go on, what are you waiting for!... (read in full...)
Is he asking because he wants to scrounge or because he really wants to live with me?
Q. Why is my boyfriend pressuring me to live with him?. My boyfriend is going to be evicted from his house in a couple of months, if he hasn't found another place by then. he said either he will go and live with one of his friends, before the eviction ...
A. 17 March 2014: oh ho! He will break up with you if you don't move in with him, I would consider that some form of blackmail.
You ask, is he pressuring you, the answer is YES!
You also ask if he is right to do that, the answer is NO!
You ask if he is wanting... (read in full...)
My Bf is depressed about his parent's recent divorce. His behaviour towards me has changed. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend are the same age and have been together for one year. We really do love each other a lot. However, his parents recently got divorced, and he is very depressed about it. Lately it seems that all I can do is upset him. If he says/does...
A. 16 March 2014: Stop texting, try only communicating face to face for a while. And let him know the more he keeps trying to have sex with you the more he is pushing you away.
Yes, its sad his parents are divorcing, but there is no need for him to be taking h... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm blowing "hot and cold," but that isn't my intent!
Q. Hi everyone, im hoping someone can give me some good advice. i have been seeing a man for 4 months now and i think ive fallen for him.however he thinks i blow hot and cold on him but i dont kniw what to do about it.i dont want to do the cold spells ...
A. 15 March 2014: Not everybody is into public displays of affection, and you know something, there are a lot of the public who don't appreciate it either.
Tell him you are shy and uncomfortable with public displays of affection, tell him you are really happy to... (read in full...)
He has a close relationship with a "distant cousin"
Q. What exactly is a 'distant cousin'? Here is my story. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year but we don't live together. Just him and his mother live together. Him and his mother have a close relationship with a woman who is a distant...
A. 14 March 2014: When growing up and into my teen years I was very close to some 'distant cousins' but we just referred to each other as cousin's, their father was my mother's cousin.
You boyfriend's mother I also close to this girl, you need to accept and resp... (read in full...)
My parents are controlling and I don't know whether to be myself or what they want
Q. Okay guys, so I'm having an issue with stress at the minute - well, I have been for a while, but it seems like it's worse these days. I'm at uni and the work is all fine, I couldn't be any happier with the work, it's my social life and other s...
A. 11 March 2014: There is no need to tell your parents you want to be a tattooist at this stage, it is not as if you are intending to set up shop tomorrow. however, I would suggest you continue studies with the aim of a "proper job" which you can use to cover the ... (read in full...)
Should my friend's fiance pay rent or not?
Q. Ok so my friend and i are thinking of moving in together. Her fiance stays over 5-6 dys a week. I think its fair that he contrubutes to sum of the bills but she says no. She says firstly there is no way in hell he will pay as he dont earn that much ...
A. 11 March 2014: She doesn't have a point and he sounds like a free loader. Just put moving out on hold for a while, somebody with a better sense of fairness who is willing to pay their way, will be along.... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to wish my ex-crush a happy birthday?
Q. I had (and am still trying to get over) a serious crush on guy for a while and end of last year decided to tell him. On facebook, as we hardly ever see each other. He was flattered but only liked me as a friend. He asked me about my plans for this ...
A. 9 March 2014: You are hanging on and still hoping for something that is not going to happen. He let you down gently when you professed your feelings for him. You are deluding yourself into believing there is a friendship between you.
There isn't! You really n... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 9 March 2014: He is not maintaining contact, I think you should just let it go.
... (read in full...)
Don't tell me to get over it because I want him back!
Q. hi, I am in a really difficult situation right now and would need some advice. I was seeing this man for over 3 years, we had quite a big argument which was kind of the last straw for him. In my opinion I was only bit sarcastic and his reaction...
A. 9 March 2014: You seem to have forgotten the most important thing here, no matter how much you want him back, HE has to want you back too!
You say whatever it was you did was the last straw for him, which suggests your behaviour or actions have upset him more... (read in full...)
As her boss should I let go and have sex with this woman who asked me?
Q. I am a divorced guy who manages about a dozen women where I work. This one woman asked me to have sex with her. We are both unattached and about the same ages. I said being her boss it put's me in a situation where it could become a lawsuit. She ...
A. 9 March 2014: Never poop in your own back yard .....
This woman is not very bright if, as she says, she can't see the problem, whereas you, my friend, could see the problem straight away. Keep thinking about those problems, and whenever the urge for sex with... (read in full...)
My man and I have been brought up very dfferently
Q. I'm not sure that me and my man are compatible. I seen a post on here a while ago about a woman thinking her man was needy and although I didn't agree with all of it it made me think. Me and my man have been friends since school and in a re...
A. 5 March 2014: Horrible, horrible, horrible! There are other words that I would like to use to describe your boyfriend, but they would be censored right off the page!
What a nasty, conniving, manipulative, shitty little shit you have there. He totally trashes ... (read in full...)
Have I lost Mr Right???
Q. Have I lost Mr Right?? Years ago I fell out with him and his family As he never told them the truth. Recently we have been meeting up and having intercourse and floor play. It's just as and when needed. He gets married next year. ...
A. 5 March 2014: Your so called "Mr Right" is so Mr Wrong on so many levels.
He is MR LIAR because he never told his family the truth
He is MR CHEATER because he is supposed to marry somebody else next year.
He is MR USER because he is using you for sex.
... (read in full...)
I am so low on my fiance's priority list we havent met for a month!
Q. Dead Cupid, I'm in a long term relationship. Engaged last year, will be married next year. I don't know if it's a phase? But I'm starting to get sick and tired of my fiancé's attitude. He always pioritise his friends and will always second me...
A. 4 March 2014: It sounds to me that it is all over bar the shouting.
Are you sure this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life, I think you know deep down in your gut he is not going to change, and you have already worked out you don't need him in y... (read in full...)
I'm the 30 year old virgin and don't want to be the 40 year old!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 31 and still single and I don't want to be the 40 years old virgin. It's not like I haven't been trying. I took other people's advices, read books, I even tried using those cologne that makes a person likes you. But none of t...
A. 4 March 2014: Have you really, honestly sat down and determined what sort of girl is your type?
What determined your list for your type, was it looks, hobbies, weight, level of education, their music preference, the football team they support........ the amou... (read in full...)
He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?
Q. Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...
A. 3 March 2014: I don't understand why you feel somebody you have not seen in over 12 months should pay your airfare.
I think his offer to pay hotel and entrance fees is very generous to somebody who is simply a friend not seen for more than 12 months. ... (read in full...)
He wants to be friends, but don't friends wish each other happy birthday?
Q. I told a sweet, decent guy I had liked him for a long while (over facebook, only cause I hardly get to see him) about a month ago. I'm a little embarrassed about it... I had told him every single quality I found admirable about him and while ...
A. 16 January 2014: Sounds like he was a nice decent sort of guy, who let you down gently and did not make fun of your feelings ....
You are still hoping for more than he has to give you, you really do need to move on.
... (read in full...)
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