A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been seeing this guy for almost an year, I know where he lives but he doesn't know where I live because he hadn't been interested but now he won't see me again untill I take him to my place. Why the sudden inerest? Problem is that he is pressuring me. Thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): Thank you so much good people I appreciate your opinion
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2014):
 I concur with the others. I think he may have been wondering since a while why exactly in one year he has not been allowed to visit you at home or pick you up from there- it is a bit strange. I guess now he wonders if you are hiding a husband or live-in boyfriend.
Is there any specific reason why you don't want him to know where you live ? or why you feel "pressured " by his question ?... That would be a piece of information that normally people would share if they have been dating for a year. There's no need to show a specific interest, generally is one of those things that comes up in conversation. Even if you can't let him come over because of family or roommates, well, it is rather unusual that in one year you never happen to mention " I live in such and such neighborhood ", or " there' s this shop near to my house, in X street..." and I imagine he will wonder why.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (16 February 2014):
 I think Aunty BimBim makes a good point, he probably wonders what the big secret is!
Imagine if this was the other way around and your boyfriend had been to your house but you didn't even know where he lived.
You might start to suspect that he was hiding something from you. You might suspect that maybe he was married or living with someone else!
If you know where he lives why have you chosen to withhold your address? Is there something about him you don't trust? Are you scared of him knowing where you live? If so why?
You don't need to give me the answers but you do need to think about them.
If you don't trust him or are scared of him in some way then why are pursuing this relationship?
I wish you well and hope this helps AB x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2014): Dont you find that a little strange? That you've been together a year and he has no idea were you live?
Is there a reason you are holding that information back? I don't blame him for being pushy, that's kind of fishy to me that your holdings back such a simple piece of information.
For all he knows, you could have a husband and 5 kids tucked away!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (16 February 2014):
 He is probably asking himself what the big secret is. Dating somebody for a year and he has never picked you up from, or dropped you back where you live is quite unusual.
I don't know if he is suddenly interested, maybe he hadn't realised he didn't know where you lived until somebody said "and where does your girlfriend live Reginald" and with a blinding flash he realised he didn't know.
As for the pressure he could be seeing this as a trust issue, why can't he know where you live, you know where he lives, what's the big secret.
I suspect if you don't tell him where you live your relationship wont last much longer. It's your choice.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (16 February 2014):
I have to say I don't blame him for being annoyed about that. If I had been seeing a guy for a year and he still refused to tell me or show me where he lived, I would consider that a huge red flag. It sounds like you are hiding something. Why, after a full year, do you not want him to see your home?
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