A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27, still single,never had a g/f, etc... I'm getting fed up lately, every girl I've ever liked is happy with someone else, I feel like I was robbed, feel betrayed, and I'm scared. Plus Dad is just waiting and scheming, slowly has been hinting at the fact "still single by your 28th birthday, your ass is going to be out on the street!" He's going to tell me "go out, get laid, and without paying for it!" He grew up raised by ppl who survived the depression, I've seen him flip out over the store because they didn't take his 15 cents off coupon. So help, I don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 January 2014):
 Based on your followups, I think it's time to get some professional help with this. Talk to your doctor. If you don't have a doctor, it's time to get one. Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2014): GET A JOB, pay your parents rent, and squirrel-away cash for
your own apartment.
Uhm...You asked US for help? What can we suggest that your parents haven't already?
NO JOB...no woman!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Then focus on finding a job and being independent an fancy car doesn't bring anyone food on the table.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a two year degree, I'm still at home, I have no job, I have a nice car, my social circle is very very thin.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 January 2014):
Do you have a job? Are you saving up money so you can move out? At 27, you should be working on your INDEPENDENCE, not depend on your parent(s).
I think once you can take care of yourself you will have a MUCH easier (not saying it will be easy, but easier time finding someone to love and cherish.)
You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one robbed you of anything. If you want things to HAPPEN you NEED to MAKE it happen. Sitting at home arguing with your dad isn't going to make the girls flock around you. Neither is living at home at 28.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): "I feel like I was robbed, feel betrayed, and I'm scared."
Unhealthy mentality to have. You weren't robbed of anything. Don't think yourself as a victim and have a pity-fest. You won't get anywhere with that. I hope you don't equate self-worth with whether or not you have a girlfriend or not (or whether you're getting laid). I'm hoping your father doesn't have that mentality, though it seems he does.
Wish you could have provided more details on your job, how much you make, how you would describe your personality, how big of a social circle you have, what kind of girls you like, etc...It would inform people's answers to your situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2014): Yes indeed1 you need to get out and get your own apartment.
Living with your parents over the age of 20; and being threatened by your father, doesn't indicate that you're very highly motivated. It is also and indicator that you lack ambition.
Before you go out looking for companionship, you need to get your personal life in order. That means you have to have one.
If you've never had a girlfriend, most likely you need to get a makeover to be presentable.
If you have a weight problem, you'll need to join a gym to get in shape and build some confidence. I would recommend a personal-trainer to get you started. They will teach you about nutrition in combination with exercise. You'll learn core-training, and get a routine that will get that heart pumping. If you're nearly 30, and girls don't take notice, that means you're not taking care of yourself. They just may not really like what they see. You also need to have a personality. If your life revolves around video games, it's time you put them away. Get out and participate in the world of reality.
I don't usually suggest that people put emphasis on looks unless it is mentioned. You don't mention anything about your appearance; so I had to speculate that you've let yourself go.
If you're referring to yourself as a failure; looks and confidence-building is a priority. I hope you are gainfully employed, and have a college-education. These are vital tools if you are going to support yourself. That will override anything else you do. YOU HAVE TO WORK!!!
If you were contributing financially to the household, you dad would not be kicking you out! You better start paying rent and that will take the pressure off. You also need to start squirreling away funds for your own place. Stop spending on expensive video games and devices. I'm generalizing by saying that most guys living at home at your age are closed off in their rooms with their faces buried in Xbox and playing video games. Coming up for air only to get snacks and go to the bathroom.
You don't need a girlfriend, dude! You need to get a life!
Show your parents some motivation, and that will take some of the heat off. They have to see your body in motion.
Going to work, getting in shape, showing some energy. Once you exercise, you'll increase your energy levels. This will make you active, and give you a reason to get out of the house to allow your parents to enjoy the feeling of an empty nest; and see that their son is on a self-improvement program which is going to get his ass out of their house!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 January 2014):
 I totally agree with AuntyBim, it's time for you to get your own place. It is also time to broaden your horizons, get involved with new activities, expand you friendship circle, focus on your career, in other words get busy living Buddy. Good things don't always just fall in your lap, you have go get them. Once Dad sees you out there living large he'll get off your back.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 January 2014):
 Two separate issues there, first one may lead to solutions for the second one. IF you can afford it, move out of home, start planning now, the first thing you need to do is show YOURSELF how capable you are of looking after yourself.
Do you have friends you socialise with? Surely they have sisters, cousins, neighbours within their circles. If not, don't despair, there are woodworking classes and do it yourself classes and short story writing classes and a myriad of others where you will find people with similar interests, and while those people might not be your love interest, as before, they will have cousins, and nieces and friends. The wider and larger the circle of people you mix with on a regular basis the larger your catchment area to find a girlfriend.
And while you are concentrating on learning woodwork your mind wont be focussing on your life, you will learn that you are okay and that there are not so many reasons to be feeling scared.
But first, move out from under dad's protective wing, you need to learn to fly on your own.
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