A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly a month ago now. Our breakup didn't end with the passion leaving our relationship, he just doesn't want to be tied down to a single person anymore.We're still good friends and we talk every day. We also have a 'f*ckbuddies' thing going on...Is there any way I could get him back? I've never felt this much for a person and I know that we're better off together..
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): You will never gain enough respect to make someone want to commit to you unless you respect yourself. Respecting yourself means being true to yourself. By agreeing to FWB (friends with benefits) situation when that is NOT what you want, is, in effect, saying "it's okay if I don't get what I want because I don't matter". That is the message you are sending both this man and yourself, and it's not going to make you feel good about yourself, or make him want to commit.
Say no. No matter what feelings you have for this man, you need to value your own feelings more. and your feelings say they want a committed situation. Whatever immediate pleasure you may gain from your little trysts, in the long run you will just continue to be unhappy. The more you let this continue, the less he will respect you etc. it's a vicious circle. So walk away, and find someone who will give you what you want, and deserve. Commitment to someone you are care about is a no-brainer. If he can't commit he doesn't care and you don't need that. You have no room for that type of person in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): It's hard. I really feel for you. I would tell him excatly how you feel if i were you . Honestly - you have nothing to lose. If you love him,tell him, and tell him it is too painful for to have a casual no strings sex with him. If he has any empathy at all, he will change this ( as he may not realise how much he is hurting you and he may feel you are ok with all this), or he will leave you to get over him. let me know how youy get on. I really fel for you - I am in the samep position. I evenutally stopped having sex wih him, as it was hurting too much. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): Who does this current situation "benefit"? He's getting exactly what he wants and you're not. It's simple really if he wanted a relationship he wouldn't have broken up with you.
The answer to your question is a big fat NO.
You see you're the only one in all this that wants that. He only wants a casual fuck buddy who is also a friend, so he gets to have you but not make a commitment, he basically gets to fuck you and have you satisfy his emotional needs too while he goes out and finds the guy he really wants to be with. Because he's already tried that with you and realized you're not the one.
So while you sit there pining for his love, he gets to have a "boyfriend" who will hang around and satisfy all his urges while he goes out and finds the one.
Pretty sweet deal for him but honestly it's not good for you.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Please dump him for good and move on. Treat yourself with the respect that you deserve.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 If he is wanting to be FWB, and you are giving it to him, why would he want anything more, he has already said he doesnt want to be tied to a single person any more.
The only way to find out if he feels, like you do, that you would be better off together is to stop giving him sex without the responsibilities of a relationship. Why are you doing that? Surely you are worth more than just being a convienient vessel to catch his sperm, there is no love, no respect, nothing of worth here.
Dump him and find yourself a man who will at least view you as a fellow human being.
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