A
male
age
30-35,
*erberus_Raphael
writes:This is not a problem of mine but a friend. I work in a shop next to his and we talk alot. His wife and children would always visit him at his workplace and they were so happy. Sometime in June that all changed. He and his family went on a trip back to Pakistan to visit his family and during that trip, his father stole his wife's passport and visa which kept her from returning home. They are muslim and his father is quite old fashioned. The reason he stole his wife's visa and passport is because someone told him that he was treating his wife "too well" as in, allowing her to rest most of the day while he was away at work but, this is untrue, she took care of his home, took care of his children and her only crime was being happy with her husband! His father will not listen to reason, his brothers will not help him and his mother claims to be powerless over his father.Recently his brothers, acting on behalf of their father, traveled to his mother-in-law's house and basically kidnapped his wife and two children, taking them to his father's house where they remain now. This is not a kind man at all, he has threatened to kill them if my friend does not divorce his wife, he thinks they are worthless and he makes them suffer.My friend has applied for his wife's new Visa since the old one has expired as well as her passport and legally he has no problem getting them home, in fact, they could return home in two weeks and yet he has waited all this time (about 8 months) because he still seeks a peaceful way to resolve this. He knows he can bring them home but he also knows that his father, being the near-criminal man he is, would travel here and act violently towards them, of course he also knows that he can report his father and keep him away from his family but he does not wish to do this because he seeks peace.I urged him to bring his family home first where they will not have to suffer anymore. He has two daughters, one is a couple of months old and the other just turned one. I hear him everyday through the wall yelling, screaming and demanding that they see reason but it is all in vain.I need someone to suggest what I may tell him to persuade him to seek his family's safety first and acting on peace after.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (30 January 2011):
Cerberus_Raphael is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your answer Anonymous 123
I have said that to him, suggested all of this but he is adamant on waiting, he places faith in God, he says that God will watch over his children and his wife until peace can be achieved and whilst I have always supported the beliefs of others and whilst I still have faith in God I cannot sit idly by and wonder everyday about what sort of cruelty they are suffering through whilst he hesitates. It seems almost impossible to persuade him and yet once I found him sitting by his computer, sifting through old photos of his children and his wife with the forms and documents in front of him, staring with an unsure wonderment in his eyes, questioning every thought. He suffers from a heart condition and this stress is not good for him and yet still he hesitates. What can I say to him to make him see that it is not God's will at all to let them suffer like this, that God has given him the means to save them and that he should be taking them home right now?
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 This is a bad situation Cerberus....bad because its plain and simple unreasonable and illogical! This man's father is acting on his own whims and is trying to unnecessarily create problems, where there are none!
Its very important that your friend first gets his family back to him, away from his parental house. He should somehow persuade his father and allow his wife to return.To hell with peace...clearly its not going to be achieved in THIS situation. His first and foremost concern should be getting his family back to him. Once he manages to get them back, he can (and should) report his father. I know he doesn't want to...but if this man creates this nuisance yet again, then thats the only way to keep him away from the family. But all this comes later, as of now, he should just bring them back home. There must be someone who is willing to help him...a family friend maybe?
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