RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY: I am on the verge of divorce due to this irrational OCD
Q. Once again, my retroactive jealousy/OCD has overtaken me and I am on the brink of separation from my wife of 14 years(i can't blame her she has had enough abuse! She is fed up and repulsed by me talking about the past- Over n over n over etc..which ...
A. 28 March 2012: I can sympathize with your problem - I have suffered many of the same thoughts you have. What I can tell you - 1) You are not alone. Before the internet, I thought I was the only psycho in the world with this crap. There are many who experie... (read in full...)
She's 30 years younger than me, should I not get involved?
Q. I met a woman on holiday who is 30 years younger than me. We both know this is not long term but we enjoyed ourselves. She wants to visit me in my home. My children are grown up and don't live at home. I am separated for 6 years. Is it best to ...
A. 8 April 2011: Its fine - if you're 80 and shes 50........ (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date an 18 year old? She's still a virgin.
Q. I'm 31 and have never gone out with a girl this young. She's 18 but she's quite mature for her age and doesn't look young either. Sometimes I forget she's 18 and feel like I'm speaking with a grown woman. She's not even "really" woman since she ...
A. 7 April 2011: One half plus seven. Lowest you shld be going is 23.... (read in full...)
I'm 26, she's 17, is it wrong to pursue a relationship?
Q. Im a 26 year old guy and iv recently been seeing a 17 year old girl, we have literally everything in common and get on so well. Been out on a few occasions and we both like eachother. Would it be wrong to ever start a relationship??...
A. 7 April 2011: Formula to use is 1/2 your age plus seven. Seems to work at any age. At your age, you should go no younger than 20.... (read in full...)
My wife to be revealed her sexual past. I feel sick to my stomach
Q. I am 31, she is 29. She is drop dead gorgeous. We fell in love a year and a half ago when she was one of my day nurses when I had spent some time in the hospital recovering from a tumor in my knee (non cancerous) During our time dating, I would ...
A. 6 April 2011: For starters, I think a battery of STD tests should be in order.
That said, if you cannot handle it now, my guess is it will not get better.
I know a lot of people would do some pretty crazy things for money. I have been pretty hard up m... (read in full...)
I feel ready to lose my virginity, but am I wrong to think this way?
Q. I am a 15 year old Christian girl who likes to take a, as my mom would say "ride on the wild side". and lately i've had one thing on my mind when im near my bf. well actually more then one but them all leading to the same thing. SEX I am a virgin a...
A. 6 April 2011: First - he is 15. There IS NO WAY he really wants to marry you. The chances that you two actually get married are next to zero.
With that in mind, remember this is a gift you can only give once.
Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
My husband is in a nursing home, is it wrong for me to want to go out with a man for a drink?
Q. I have been through a horrible two years with my husband who developed dementia and now is in a nursing home. We have had a very happy marraige and I miss him so much and have so much guilt about him being where he is although he is well cared for ...
A. 6 April 2011: I think the answer to your question lies in the what would you expect him to do given the roles were reversed.... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex without a condom
Q. im 15 and my 15 yr. bf finaly got me 2 give him a b.j after 2 mounths of dating and now after 3 mounths he is trying 2 get me 2 give him my vergenity and he said we should not use a condom cuz it feels better w/out 1 then he said he wnts r 1st time ...
A. 6 April 2011: Tell him the cost to raise a child in the US is roughly $300,000. When he shows you he has that much, then tell him he doesnt have to use a condom....... (read in full...)
What is an appropriate age difference?
Q. I have a question, I get hung up on age, is ten years too much of a difference. Is it wrong if the girl is ten years older like if she is 32 and he is 22?...
A. 2 February 2011: Rule of thumb is 1/2 age plus 7.... (read in full...)
Was it reasonable for me to ask her to remove the guys she had a threesome with from her facebook?
Q. I have been with my fiance for the last 11 months, she has many of her ex-boy freinds on her facebook account which she claims to be good freinds with, This also includes 2 guys who have had a threesome with her, it is a bit confronting and hard ...
A. 2 February 2011: The first question Id be asking myself is if I could call a woman who had a threesome my wife. Having her remove the photos wont remove the reality that it happened.... (read in full...)
Is this age gap too big?
Q. how big an age gap is too big? the guy i like is 24, and i'm 17. that's quite a big gap, but i was just wondering if it's too huge or if it's acceptable because my opinion is just what i want to hear so i wanted to know other opinions....
A. 2 February 2011: Someone told me once the rule is 1/2 the mans age plus 7 is the youngest a man can go. As crazy as it sounds, try it for any age and it yields a pretty reasonable result.
In this case - he's 24 - so 19 is the youngest he should go. Sorry.... (read in full...)
In lust with a married man
Q. Hi. I need some help. I really don't know what to do anymore. I am in lust with a married man and I can't get out. I can't stop wanting him! I know he can never be mine. But yet I still want him. It's been a year and a half that we've been friends....
A. 29 January 2011: You need to leave him alone and move on to a single man.
... (read in full...)
How is he able to move on so fast after our breakup?
Q. So my boyfriend and I went out for a year, and we broke up two weeks ago because we just didn't have much to talk about anymore. He's been flirting with a few girls an awful lot, especially with one girl who is a complete slut, and it just make...
A. 29 January 2011: Because he is being smart. It is a waste of time to wallow over the past. ... (read in full...)
Are love and marriage a deadline?
Q. Does anyone else think women now a days are more in love with the idea of "love" and "marriage" then they are with the true meaning behind it. I keep meeting more and more women who talk about marriage like a dead line rather then the importance of ...
A. 29 January 2011: Absolutely. I think many (but not all) women are in love with marriage and not in love with the person they are marrying. Ergo our divorce rate.
I see it all the time - a woman has a grand "plan" of what and when, and then they just plug in ... (read in full...)
Whats the appropriate age for sex?
Q. dear readers, i wanted to know when you people think is the appropriate age to have sex? i know you are supposed to when you and your partner feel ready, but is there a time that is t young? is 14 or 15 to young? what if you had been with your...
A. 29 January 2011: This is what I will say about this.
I have heard many, many woman say "I wish I waited longer" or "I wish I waited for XYZ" or "I wish I didnt give it to XYZ."
I have never ever heard one woman say "I wish I gave it up earlier" or "I wish I gav... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 4 years asks for a break and starts dating someone else!
Q. hi guys Ok so i was with this girl for 4years the minute i met her we clicked instantly and we were good frends for many months before getting into the relationship. We know eachother inside out and we are very close to each other. Just last y...
A. 29 January 2011: This girl wants to date other guys and is not worthy of your affections as she will not reciprocate them.
You need to move on and date others immediately.... (read in full...)
I have been patient but think it might be time to run.
Q. Ok...so here’s my story. My girlfriend and I were dating for 2 years when we started to have some problems with our relationship. By the end there was so much pushing and pulling we decided to breakup so we could concentrate on our careers. It ...
A. 25 January 2011: Sounds like she had a great time while you were gone and wants to remind you of it. Other than that, nothing about her seemed to change.
If it were me, there would be no going back. Look - you left her and your career took off. If your career c... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I messed up, but I don't think it's a big deal.
Q. I need some advice. My wife thinks I messed up, and I think that what I did was no big deal. I was out with a bunch of work people after work. I occasionally take my team out for after work drinks/appetizers when we make a project goal. Th...
A. 11 January 2011: IMO your wife gave you the gift of gifts. If all she is asking for is an apology for something that you said that made her uncomfortable, I think you owe her that much........ (read in full...)
Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history
Q. I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...
A. 11 January 2011: I usually have advice for gents regarding this who are just getting into it. But a wife after 25 years? 11 year old son?
Honestly - you had all of this information very early, and that was your time to act on it. Now, the only thing you can ... (read in full...)
Should I let my 13 year old sister be with a 21 year old? She claims they are in love!
Q. Hey aunts, once again, my little 13 year sister ( who lives with me in my apartment with my boyfriend because of our parents divorce.. Long story) has given me trouble once again. It first started when my after school job hours changed, and I ...
A. 11 January 2011: One time a relative of mine told me the age equation for a man dating a women is 1/2 the mans age plus seven = minimum womans age. As crazy as it initially sounded, try it out and it seems to always to yield a plausible result.
In this case - h... (read in full...)
We have tried counselling, but I am still unsatisfied and now considering an affair. What should I do?
Q. I am married and unsatisfied. I'm not sure if i love my husband and I am contemplating having an affair. We have tried counseling...what should I do?...
A. 11 January 2011: If you are unhappy - then why stay and have an affair? How about get divorced and have a new life?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says really mean things to me!
Q. today I got out of the shower and I tried to get dressed and my boyfriend wanted me to come next to him and I Wanted to get ready because I had a d.rs oppitment at 1:00 p.m and he was playing around with his belt and hit me in on my butt I told him ...
A. 11 January 2011: Strange question - why did you decide to have a child with someone that treats you so poorly? What once was a problem that could be solved by hanging up the phone is now a lifelong committment.
... (read in full...)
Mutual attraction with brother in law that never seems to go away.....
Q. I have been married for just 2 years and I am absolutely in love with my husband. He is the most important person in the world to me. He still turns me on, makes me laugh, spoils me, and looks at me like I am the only thing in the world. He has been ...
A. 11 January 2011: You have no love or respect for you husband or marriage.
You need to stay away from both.... (read in full...)
Why is it okay for bigger women to bash slim women, but not the other way around?
Q. This is something I notice a lot, and I find it very insulting. I've always been slim, naturaly slim. I have never dieted or watched my weight and I'm a healthy size 8. It seems that if a slim girl is ever to speak bad of a fat girl, they are given ...
A. 11 January 2011: Because we have accepted the standard in our society that the have nots can bash the haves, but not the other way around.... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 11 January 2011: Bottom line - you have a child on the way. Any thoughts of what YOU want and what YOU prefer are now secondary if not meaningless.
Man up and take responsibility for your actions. You are about to be a father and you are still acting like a s... (read in full...)
Is a threesome a good idea if my boyfriend suggests it?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He has expressed how he enjoys watching me masturbate with a dildo. He has recently discussed with me how he would enjoy watching me have sex with another man. I just dont want this to ruin our ...
A. 11 January 2011: Call me crazy, but just cant comprehend that watching another man do my gf would be anything in the realm of pleasureable.... (read in full...)
Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?
Q. I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...
A. 10 January 2011: The sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s changed a lot of these attitudes and standards, most of them IMO not for the better........ (read in full...)
Why are men players?
Q. Why are men Players??? Why do they have a daytime girl and a nite time girl?? ...
A. 10 January 2011: To answer the loaded question - like everything else that drives humanity - its evolution. Men are "programed" by our history to mate with as many women as possible to maximize the probability of reproductive success. Woman are "programmed" by ... (read in full...)
Would it be stupid to leave one good man (who is my baby's daddy) for another man just because the romance was richer??
Q. I have been dating a man for about 8.5 years except for one break-up that lasted about 4-5 months at which time I met this other man and really liked him but when the first man wanted me back I went running, being still in love and all. Its been 5 ...
A. 7 January 2011: Crazy idea - how about "husband" before "baby daddy?"
You'd be surprised how most of these issues would be simpler then........ (read in full...)
Why am I hooked on him? How can I stop?
Q. Well it starts off like this, Im a married woman of 6years and I have been with my husband for a total of 10years. So my reason for submitting this letter is because I have been involved with this man for over 13 years. I was in a short but sweet ...
A. 7 January 2011: You are running back to him because you are weak and have no respect for your husband or your marriage.
Sorry - I know you were probably looking for comforting words justifying your behavior. Problem is you dont deserve them, the man you are chea... (read in full...)
Bad girls!
Q. What does it mean if a guy says "Are you a bad girl?" to you ? It will be something sexual, as he has said that he wants to have sex with me, but what does being "bad" mean exactly? Or is that just something that guys say when they are turned on? ...
A. 7 January 2011: Hes asking if you will sleep with him.... (read in full...)
A woman I slept with is claiming she's pregnant with my child
Q. A woman I slept with a while ago is claiming she is pregnant with my child, however I had not slept with her at least two months prior to her pregnancy. Obviously I have no reason to believe the baby is mine, however she seems to think it is. Now ...
A. 7 January 2011: If shes denying a DNA test, 99.99999999999% chance she is lying.
Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
Our "casual" relationship!
Q. So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...
A. 7 January 2011: He's getting his cake and eating it too, and you are allowing it by buying the line "he's not a relationship person."
If you are fine being a member of a harem, continue what you are doing.... (read in full...)
Should I steer clear of this situation?
Q. Hi all, I fancy my dads partner younger brother - is this bad? He is about 10 years older than me, but extremely fun and attractive and I sense he finds me attractive too.. if we were to be out and drinking alone, I reckon something would ...
A. 7 January 2011: If its 10 years itself - dont sweat it. Me and my gf are 8 yrs diffeent and its been amazing.... (read in full...)
I don't want to be angry forever. Any advice?
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost three and a half years. Our relationship got off to a very rocky start. My (then boyfriend) would say negative things about me (too tall, not thin enough, wrong hair colour etc etc). I put up with this for a ...
A. 7 January 2011: Again. Yet again, posts like this just baffle me. So what you have just told me is your bf is abusive and a cheater, yet you said yet to marrying him. Now, if you just read this about someone else, how big of a fool would you think they were?
... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't know how to show affection, but the other guy does!
Q. I have a problem I have been married for 6 yrs and have not been in love going on 5. I think I married him for all the wrong reasons but I do love him very much. But here is the thing I met someone else and he is 12 yrs younger than me and I have ...
A. 7 January 2011: Sooooo - sounds like you're looking for justification for cheating on your husband.
You're not going to get it here. You claim to have been married 6 years and been out of love for 5? Sounds like you make a real committment to fall out of love ... (read in full...)
Can a one night stand turn possibly turn into a relationship?
Q. Hello Can you ever get together with someone after a one night stand or have you completely blown it?? Any opinions?? Anyone ever got with anyone after this?? ...
A. 6 January 2011: Odds WAY against it.... (read in full...)
How can we make it work?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 and a half years and really aren't getting on. He doesn't have a job and isn't able to pay rent and no matter what I say he doesn't get one, he just says yeah I'll go tomorrow! I'm not sure what to do ...
A. 6 January 2011: He is a leech - and you are facilitating it.
If I were you - he has one week to find a job, or hes out the door.... (read in full...)
Fourteen and I haven't a clue on how to tell my parents: 'I'm pregnant'
Q. I have a major problem... I'm pregnant. i know I'm totally under aged being on 14 but i don't know what to do about it... i don't want to get an abortion because - no offense towards anyone- i don't agree in them and think that's wrong. I think i...
A. 30 December 2010: Raising a child from birth to 18 costs about $250,000 US. Thats not to include college costs.
Make darn sure you know what you are getting yourself into.... (read in full...)
He wants to end our affair and be best friends. I work with him!
Q. Hi I have been in a relationship with a married co-worker for 18 months. We started off as friends and our relationship developed into love over a period of months. We have had many special times together and I love this man more than anyone I ha...
A. 30 December 2010: So both of you are cheating on your spouses and you're wondering why you just cant be happy together.
Finish what youve started before you move on to something else. What you're both doing is unfair, adulterous, and selfish.... (read in full...)
Will she always be a cheater? How spot and avoid a cheater in future?
Q. I just have a question about an ex. I met this girl through work, we flirted and it was as clear as day she was interested. But things were kind of weird, she was also flirting with two other guys at my work. I ended up leaving for a few weeks and ...
A. 29 December 2010: I tend to agree w TimmD below.
If there is one absolute I have discovered in dating women - if there was only one thing about dating that I could pass on to my future son - it is this.
Early on in relationship, ask the prospective fema... (read in full...)
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