A
female
age
36-40,
*ildchica5687
writes:I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (10 January 2011):
The sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s changed a lot of these attitudes and standards, most of them IMO not for the better.....
A
male
reader, als77  +, writes (10 January 2011):
Illithid has a good point: How can one expect guys to be decent when so many women treat decent men like shit and (apparently) prefer disrespectal jerks? (this is generalising, or at least I hope so).
If I scale my friends from most disrespectful to most decent, then I can pretty much use the same scale to see who is most successfull with women! I don't know it this means that women really prefer bad-boys or if it means that bad-boys have more sex-appeal and more confidence than decent guys (and thereby are more successfull with women).
I wonder if the same apply to women? I.e.: Does men prefer bay-girls instead of decent good-girls? (a big NO from me, but I'm just one weird guy)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I think men are losing respect for women who don't respect themselves ...integrity.I think women are losing respect for men who don't respect themselves....integrity.When the shadows of the world are gone adam and eve may see each other and love again!Spunky Monkey :)
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Back in the age of chivalry, men would stand up when a woman entered the room, throw their cloak down over muddy ground for her to walk on, pull out chairs and open doors for her, refrain from profanity in her presence, etc. Many look at that and wonder why men changed. The difference is that back then, women were modest, tasteful, chaste, and regarded their husband as head of the household or at least an equal partner. Since they did not have careers in the modern sense, women's financial and material needs were taken care of for them. They were worthy of the special treatment they got. They were treated like ladies because that is what they were.
Fortunately, girls have gained a lot of freedom since then, but it's what they've done with that freedom that is questionable. Now they drink, fight, smoke, sleep around, and curse like guys. They dress and act like their idols Miley, Ke$ha, Britney, Snookie, etc. Wives treat their husbands as inferiors and man-bashing has become so routine in the Western world, it's not even noticed. Do you have to wonder why women don't get the chivalrous, old-fashioned treatment they used to?
To get respect, you must be a respectable person. If you want special treatment, then be worthy of it. Don't just expect things out of a sense of entitlement. This goes for everyone, men and women. Why does the queen get respect? Because she's the queen, yes, but she also acts regal, elegant, and well-mannered. If she cursed like a sailor, fell down drunk every Friday night, and sent nude pics to guys online, do you think she'd still get the same amount of respect just because she was queen?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 hi
good question! :) yes, i believe men have lost more respect but i think it may be coz women (not all women!!) have lost respect for themselves. but this is a 'what came first the chicken or the egg?' sort of question, have women lost respect for themselves because of the way men treat us OR do they treat us like that because we have got no respect for our selves? and do women respect men??? it is definitely a two way street.
if you look at all the problems in the world today it seems to me that PEOPLE are just disrespectful any way, to each other, to animals, to the planet, to other peoples property, to our own bodies (junkfood/drugs/smoking etc), people of other cultures, our elders , you name it; we disrespect it.
but getting back to your question (sorry!) yes, men seem to be worse toward women now and i think that maybe porn (especially certain types) is not exactly 'to blame' but it certainly fuels the problem, sex before marriage, unmarried pregnancy, women that drink, fight, do drugs etc etc, i could go on.. these are things that our grannies never did and the men in their day were more gentlemanly towards them..BUT saying that, the women were given less freedom and you could consider that to be disrespectful to women too.
if you yourself are looking to get respect from a man, you need to behave respectfully yourself. be a 'lady' and if a man still wants to disrespect you, then there is no room for him in your life. we should not tolerate what we don't like, but then complain about it
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2011): I agree with Illithid.
Women get as much respect from men as they really want.
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male
reader, SpiralUp +, writes (10 January 2011):
Men, you are the stronger. Act like it, as gentlemen. Women, be virtuous and happy, and you'll have no trouble finding a good life.
Quit tripping it's women who have lost respect, for men. And it's mens fault.
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male
reader, Illithid +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I'm the sort that bends over backwards for women, but then gets treated like dirt. I haven't dated a girl yet that didn't cheat on me. So yes I've lost a tremendous amount of respect for women. Ultimately, men are capable of learning. So when we see women abuse and betray respectful guys then shack up with douchebags, we learn which is the winning side. Every time a girl sleeps with a disrespectful jerk, nice guys become more rare.
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male
reader, faenon  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Hmm its a catch 22 that Catlady and Baddogbj hit on the head with the hammer with a couple of truths. Are we getting dumber as a race? yes due to a lack of decent education standards.
Are we losing respect for one another definitely but it isnt on one foot man and woman are losing respect and the reason why men lose respect for a woman is for a woman (albeit the rare kind) doesn't respect the man no more.
Both sexes are at fault equally.
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (9 January 2011):
I totally agree with you. Like my ex who broke up our relationship just because he thought the grass was greener on the other side. Guys don't want to marry anymore because they can have a defacto relationship instead and never make a formal commitment.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): It's is an age old thing. You have gold diggers and you have players. I don't think there are proportionately more now than then but they have the internet as a forum.
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female
reader, ToHereKnowsWhen +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Wow, your question is worthy of a thesis.
It may not be so much that guys are losing respect for girls as much as the rules have changed.
Has human desire changed? I don't think so. Perhaps the extent to which we can express that desire has. Don't forget, as you may have heard, we live in the so-called `permissive' society these days and in generations to come as our societies black and white rules further erode, I doubt whether you will even hear that expression: `permissive'.
I think that in general we are a lot more tolerant and accepting of, for example, sex outside of marriage, single parenting, divorce, etc... Not that it never happened in the past, but we now live in a world where these things are readily available options. Society and its rules were once very much `black and white', less so now days.
We have also changed the boundries under which guys and girls live and work, particularly for the girls, but the guys seem to have lost ground in making way for girls. Guys do expect a lot more of women and I think this had led to the confusion and idea that guys are losing respect for girls.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 There is a general loss of respect in western society as a whole. Everyone respects everyone else and indeed themselves less than they used to. Certainly women in the Uk and US respect men less than they used to as well. It is part and parcel of a society which has become decadent because the process of meeting basic needs such as food and shelter has become too easy. If as an individual you face no existential threat or fear serious discomfort or loss then why really do you need to respect anyone? When all have prizes there are no winners and and no losers and when there are no winners who do we respect? Everything becomes relative, everyone's opinion is as valid as everyone else's.
If you found yourself part of a small group surviving a plane crash in, let's say, the wilderness then you would pretty quickly find out who you respect and who you don't. You would quickly come to respect those who know how to find food and water, those who have physical and mental skills that help you are part of the group.
Developed western cultures today no longer have the wolf lurking in the shadows beyond the firelight and where there is no threat there is no respect.
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male
reader, als77 +, writes (9 January 2011):
Aren't people in general losing respect for each other? I think we are caught up in our own selfishness and self-realization that respect for other people and their feelings are put aside ("it is my life and thereby my choice, no one can judge me")
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female
reader, cat lady +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I tried to come up with a short answer for your question and failed because it's just too complicated:Men respecting women has its root in moral standards, of which women have ever been the guardians throughout our history. That's the first thing to be established and that seems to be where most of our problems lie these days.Things have NOT changed in some ways, which is making life tougher for the girls than ever. Remember the line: "why buy a cow when the milk's so cheap?" The boys still are taught to think that way, at the same time that girls are pressured to throw both their natural caution and any sense of self-preservation to the winds, as if there's no tomorrow and no reason to care. Why they fall for that pressure, I cannot say unless, perhaps all the deliberate 'dumbing down' of education over the last 40 years has actually produced a 'dumber' population. For all the social freedom apparently granted them by modern mores (or lack of same) there seem to be far fewer protections for both girls and boys. If girls want respect they have to defend their interests and values and nobody teaches them how or backs them up when they try.The media are getting worse and worse; even 'daytime television' has turned into soft porn and well, my mother always used to say, 'monkey see, monkey do.' I have never thought the masses of humanity to be particularly bright and one of the reasons is that what we have running about wildly is largely a product of media. They don't call it programming for nothing. We really ought to kick out such producers who peddle the message to our children that so long as one is wealthy enough, one can be the worst of lechers and cads and that's all right. The ruthlessness in society now is truly frightening. We are degenerating into a 'gangland culture' instead of a civilization. What we allow to thrive in our midst is what we become,eventually.And don't forget: moral standards are not considered 'politically correct' in civilized industrial nations anymore. We are all pressured to be 'tolerant' of absolutely anything and the irony of that is, so many of the really rigid, backward and intolerant societies we're supposed to accept and not criticize haven't the least intention of being tolerant of us! With our roots torn out from under us, we have devolved into snatch-and-grab opportunists and the only status is what we can amass and whom we can wrest it from. Personal virtues take a back seat.We are teaching children from kindergarten these days that the very standards with which we built our nation are wrong. So, what's to stand up for? And if you stand for nothing, if your heritage has been taken out of your classrooms, your cultural identity denied you, pride in your people declared inappropriate, you'll certainly fall for anything. It's collective insanity to commit cultural and moral suicide but you can certainly see it right in front of your eyes.Now, you have a nice fire going and a good bed of coals, but if you take a little coal out and lay it on the hearth, will its light and energy not die? That's what happens to individuals when they are forced out from their cultural protections. Think of this: all the human rights you take for granted today, including those in relations between men and women, are no more and no less than a cultural value. You'll have noticed that all the world's cultures are not alike - especially in their treatment of women, children, elderly and all those who cannot defend themselves. Doesn't look good for the future if we forget where we got all that.All these things are connected. They affect our perception of who we are. If we are not what we come from, what are we? A Southern general said once, 'I do not fight because I hate what's in front of me but because I love what's behind me.' Country, home, family, moral values all exist as a unit. Without them, we have an entire generation wandering aimlessly and most relevant to your question: one that no longer understands honor. Our young boys don't much respect themselves anymore (unless they have the discernment to escape the programming) so they no longer respect their mothers, grandmothers, teachers or by extension - any other women.We have a lot of work to do!
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (9 January 2011):
 In general, if someone is outwardly confident and has enough self-respect not to tolerate bad treatment, they'll be respected. It all comes down to demanding respect and not settling or putting up with any bullshit.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 January 2011):
Both posts below have good points, and I'll join them.
It all really comes down to how you feel about yourself more than anything. There are some guys who won't show you no respect, but there are many guys that will show you respect. The question is whether you have enough respect for yourself to settle for a guy who treats you well, rather than a guy who treats you badly.
If you demand respect, and you treat a guy well, then you stand a better chance of finding a guy who will treat you well. If you accept bad treatment, or if you treat guys badly, then you'll only meet losers and wind up unhappy.
So the point here is do you respect yourself and have enough confidence in yourself to find a decent guy?
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male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (9 January 2011):
 That's a bit of a sweeping generalization... Personally I think if anything that guys are respecting females more now than ever.
Meh, it really comes down to your own personal experiences, no-ones going to be right or wrong in answering this question.
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male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (9 January 2011):
 It doesn't matter if guys in general are losing respect for women. What matters is if you demand respect. Women will get what they accept. If they put up with crap, that's what they'll get. But if a woman demands respect, if she'll only associate with men who treat her appropriately, the she'll get the cream of the crop.
Good on ya for ignoring losers.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I don't think men EVER had respect for women.
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male
reader, Maurice Daniel  +, writes (9 January 2011):
Personally i think guys are losing respect for their female companions. I try my hardest to respect girls as much as humanly possible. We're a dying race though...
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): Yes, they are losing respect for women and rather very quickly. Your perception I believe is fairly accurate.
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male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I think it's excaclty the other way around
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