I don't trust my boyfriend because of his ex! What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing this guy fro 3 months now and things are awesome with him! I feel great when I am with him. But I have a huge insecurity when it comes to his sons mom. I know they had strong feelings for each other but I also know he really ...
A. 20 June 2012: 1 - Your bf has a son. With that, his mom will always be part of his life. (This is one reason I always tell me friends be sure of marriage and be damn sure of kids.) You need to either accept that right quick, or you need to find a man with no ... (read in full...)
My wife's ex-sister in law is flirting with me, how do I find out if she wants to take this to the next level? Or should I remain faithful despite not getting any sex from my wife?
Q. Dear Cupid I only have been married for 5 years now (I got married when I was 50) I figured I only wanted to get married once in my life. I wanted to grow old with someone I loved. When I was younger I was wild child. I had a diffrent g...
A. 20 June 2012: You need to do one (and only one) of two things -
1) Talk to your wife about your needs not being met and see if you can reconcile a solution
2) Move on from your wife, and then (and only then) decide who else you want to be with.... (read in full...)
I sometimes wish I could act out my sexual fantasies!
Q. I'm basically a "good girl"...always have been, but sometimes I wish I was a slut. I see so many of my friends randomly hook up with guys, have threesomes, have one night stands and all this other stuff and they seem like they're really living life ...
A. 20 June 2012: Just know that although its your right to do what mutually consenting adults will do, always remember that you can never "undo" something once you do it. At age 44, I have known a lot of women. Never have I ever heard one of them say later in life ... (read in full...)
How many men out there are NOT into pornography and find it degrading?
Q. Hello Dear Cupid, I've been in a relationship nearly 4 years - 3 of which my bf used online porn most days, even perusing it while I was asleep naked a metre away from him, even though I was always happy and curious to explore our sex life. We fough...
A. 20 June 2012: I dont find it "degrading." As long as the person doing it is of age, they make their own choices of their own free will. If they are ok with it, thats up to them.
Like most things in life, moderation is key. Although I dont see anything... (read in full...)
He doesn't have much sex drive with me, but won't delete his porn?
Q. Would anyone else think this is strange, my boyfriend doesn't have that much of a sexual apetite for me but yet when I tried to get him to delete his porn he went mad. We did attempt to have sex and did sexual things everytime we met (me suggesting ...
A. 19 June 2012: I would postulate that he doesnt have as much of a sex drive because of his porn. Look, I dont think moderate porn watching is a big deal, but the fact remains a person only has so much energy, sexual or otherwise. If he's using it on porn, then ... (read in full...)
I'm unemployed so he wants to delay marriage. Does he have a point or should I get out before my heart's broken?
Q. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage but he recently started using the fact that I don't have a job to not to get engaged or even move in I understand his worry about money but it seems money is more important than our relation...
A. 19 June 2012: One of the single biggest reasons for marital stress is finances. Sounds like he is being very reasonable and rational here.... (read in full...)
The love of my life used to be an escort... can I forgive her?
Q. I met the girl of my dreams... or so I thought. A little background... She is a senior in college and I'm a few years older than she is with a solid career. She is beautiful, intelligent, exciting, fun... she was the perfect woman. I never ...
A. 19 June 2012: This is what I would tell you - unless you are 100% positive beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt that you can completely accept and be comfortable with her past, my advice to you is to move on and never look back. For me, I know myself well... (read in full...)
I have to go to College but we want a baby together. What should I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been best friends since middle school. I am 17 and about to start my senior year of high school. We want a baby but I have to go to college. What do I do?!?!?!...
A. 19 June 2012: Adding on to what others have said below, before you have a child is to first make sure you have about $240,000 in the bank, because thats how much it costs to raise a child to 18 years of age.
... (read in full...)
My parents have banned me from sleeping with my boyfriend!
Q. hi, im 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 6 months, my parents found out we was sleeping in the same bed and have now banned me from staying there, i wanted to know if they are aloud to do that?...
A. 19 June 2012: You are only "old enough" to make your own decisions when you are completely responsible for yourself. IMO, as long as someone else is supporting you (or your dependents), you lose your right to completely self-govern.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very religious, and it's starting to make me uncomfortable. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now, and although he was always religious, this past month he's gotten a little out of hand. He's 28 and I'm 25, and I guess you could say we're both looking for something serious. I grew up in a Catholic ...
A. 19 June 2012: YouWish give sage advice below. He is who he is, esp regarding his religion. He likely will not change it, if you are not comfortable with it, you need to make a change.... (read in full...)
Should I give up on dating?
Q. I feel as though I'm burnt out and tired of dating. In the past year, I've met four guys, the first was an uncaring narcissist already involved with someone (he did not tell me about it for a long time, then I thought I could wait for him until he ...
A. 19 June 2012: Im just guessing, but if I had to put money down I would say at least one of these four guys you dated thinks they are also "funny, witty, reasonably attractive, etc," and dont have many good things to say about you. Thats not a put down, just a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is stressed and acting like he wants nothing to do with me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. 4 have been long distance because he got a real good job out of state and moved, and I stayed where I am for now. The last week and a half he has been real distant. He is trying to buy a house and ...
A. 19 June 2012: In my situation, I can say w/o question yes. As it stands right now I have the following going on -
1 - I am solely running a medical based business in regulation happy NYC.
2 - I am jointly running another business in Pa.
3 - I am consid... (read in full...)
Girlfriend asked me for a mmf threesome with my bestfriend
Q. My girlfriend's engaged friends starting having threesomes and this sprung curiosity in her.but As a result, she told me that she would like to have one with my best friend. I admit immaturity in my response, but I flipped the fuck out because the ...
A. 19 June 2012: FWIW - I think you made a very wise decision.... (read in full...)
Is this considered cheating? Help!
Q. Hi, Need help. Is this considered cheating? My fiance and I are 3 months away from the BIG day. I'm 29 and he's 38. Never married and no kids. We're having a coed bechalor/bechalorette party in Las Vegas. We're best friends so we figured i...
A. 19 June 2012: What he's proposing is ridiculous. No man would want their woman doing the same, and he knows it. You shouldnt have to stand for it either.
Strippers and dollar bills are one thing. Private rooms are another. Not acceptable.... (read in full...)
My bf cheated on me, please help, I feel sick, nauseous and ill!
Q. Dear all, I guess I just want to share this with you and get your views. I checked my BF's of over a year and a halfs emails a couple of nights ago and he had emailed a girl saying hi babes, and then went on to say that she must remember him as he ...
A. 18 June 2012: Dont waste another minute of your time on this guy. Be thankful you found out before marriage and move on.... (read in full...)
My BF says he doesn't need to wear a condom because he smokes.... is this true?
Q. My boyfriend smokes so should he wear a condom when we start to have sex because I've heard it's more difficult for a girl to get pregnant from a boy who smokes cigarettes?...
A. 18 June 2012: What brayden said below.
If you have any questions about his statement, you have no business having sex.... (read in full...)
I don't get it! He acts as though he is interested but says he just wants to be friends. Am I missing something?
Q. So I met this guy I work with. He's 21, I'm 29. We have hung out a couple times (like 4 times either by ourselves and with other people). And I kind of like him a bit. And I have gotten the feeling he likes me too. So I texted him the other day and ...
A. 18 June 2012: Just by the fact that he's 21 and you're 29, I would give it less than a 1 in 20 chance of ending in anything long term. Nothing against you, but men and woman mature at different rates and 8 years is a lot at that stage of life. Unless you are ... (read in full...)
When is it too late for true love?
Q. At what age do you think its too late for true love? ...
A. 13 June 2012: Absolutely never too late. My aunt met my uncle when they both were in the 70s, and all I hear them talk about is how they wish they met 50 years ago....... (read in full...)
Men only: How should I act with this guy. I want a casual sexual relationship
Q. Hi all, I need some advice from men who will know or should know the answer! Basically, I'm not the best at relationships, I don't know how to act and I manage to ruin things in the early stages. Basically, two Fridays ago I went out clubb...
A. 12 June 2012: Asking a man if he wants to have a casual sexual relationship is like asking a politician if they want more money to spend. Closest thing to a sure thing I know.... (read in full...)
I'm stuck at a crossroad- I want to be with my B/f but I'm not sure if I want kids.
Q. My boyfriend of 6 years has just given me an ultimatum. He wants to settle down, get married, buy a house together and have kids in the next few years. For the past year or so, I've been indecisive- I love him with all my heart, he is a wonderfu...
A. 12 June 2012: First, I applaud you going through such a logical thought process. I have grown tired of reading here - "Me and my bf/gf have three children together, but Im just not sure they're the one for me....."
To your point in particular - children... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my friend! Its not fair that she gets the perfect boyfriends, the perfect looks, the happy life, everything!
Q. So, I have this friend, and basically I'm really jealous of her. She's drop dead gorgeous. She's a model, and it seems like she gets everything she wants. On top of that, she's probably the sweetest, funniest, most caring person anyone has ever ...
A. 11 June 2012: I said this in another thread, but it bears repeating here.
I have a niece who at age 17 needed to have her left leg amputated a the knee because of an operation she needed to save her life.
How "jealous" do you think she'd be of your abili... (read in full...)
We met on facebook and he wants to have sex with me
Q. MODERATOR NOTE: TWO QUESTIONS COMBINED FROM SAME ASKER so im 16 and i know this guy from fb that i have been iming 4 bout a month now he is 23 and realy cute n he asked me out and wants to sleep with me but he said if i dont sleep with him then he ...
A. 11 June 2012: Arranging sex over the internet is one of the most foolish things a person can do.
Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
Last night I cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years...what do I do now?
Q. Last night I cheated on my boyfriend of 1.5 years. By cheating, I mean that I met up with a new friend for coffee. We were sitting in the car drinking our coffee and he suddenly leaned in and kissed me. When he did this I automatically pulled away, ...
A. 11 June 2012: For starters - "low testoserone" and "alpha male" are contradictory, so something else is going on there.
Second, you cheated, so you now have to face the music. If your bf did the same thing, would you want to know?... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I get naked for this European guy online?
Q. I have been chatting with this guy in Europe for about six months now. I am VERY attracted to him and I think he feels the same way. We always have great chats and make each other laugh. He constantly tells me how beautiful and perfect I am and that ...
A. 11 June 2012: Sending naked imaages to someone in a different country that you only know over the internet sounds like an awesome idea.
... (read in full...)
How often do you have sex with your partner?
Q. how often do you have sex with your partner? looking for answers from people who are in: 1) Long distance relationships (hardly see eachother) 2) close proximity (see eachother most days or w/e's) 3 and live in relationships (living tog...
A. 7 June 2012: Im living w my fiancee. We have sex at 6 or 7 times per week. Rare is it under 4.... (read in full...)
Getting over a girlfriend's sexual past
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 4 months now, im 19 and she is 21, I live in a small town and she has had sex with a lot of people I know in the past, I accept this as I do live in a small town, anyway I only found out ...
A. 6 June 2012: You have retroactive jealousy. I have it as well, in spades. It is a relic of our evolutionary pasts that is quite inconvenient for todays moral climate. I have been down the road you are going down. Trust me, it is not a fun trip, and will l... (read in full...)
My wife missed out on her youth
Q. My wife and I have been together for 12 years she missed out on her youth to be in a serious relationship with me. She has freinds that want to go out dancing and admits she will allow other men to dance with her(grinding)when she goes out. One ...
A. 6 June 2012: Ok - right off the bat the whole "missed my youth" thing reeks of BS guilt that she put on you as an excuse and it seems you have swallowed it.
Nonesense - you sacrificed to be with her just as much as she did to be with you. If any woman of... (read in full...)
My friend's fiancee wants to have sex with me
Q. Heyyy so I'm up here in California for the next couple of years and I've met TONS of people but here's the problem, my friends fiance wants me to have sex with her. I've known this guy for about a month now but she's VERY persuasive and insistent on ...
A. 6 June 2012: Woman who want to hook up with you are a dime a dozen, friends are not.
If I were you, I would record her and play it for your friend. If she's his fiancee and your his friend, IMO you have a moral obligation to let him know his future wife is ... (read in full...)
All my boyfriend seems to want is sex
Q. I've ended my unhappy marriage of 20 years. Then I met this man 19 years older than me. He gives me all the attention I've craved for years. We live in separate houses. He's helpful in my house. But he always wants sex when I'm with him. Even if ...
A. 6 June 2012: Ok - you're out of a marriage for reasons I can probably ascertain.
You now have a guy who is nice, pays attention to you, helps you in your house, and is obviously attracted to you, and your complaint is "he always wants sex."
First, if he ... (read in full...)
How can I keep it a secret if I get involved with a married man?
Q. I posted a question earlier about a relationship with an older man who is married with children. I thought he was flirting with me and it turns out he was. We met to talk about the project we're both involved in and he drove me home (again!). I...
A. 6 June 2012: To help this "work," you need to come to terms with the fact that at some point you will realize -
1 - He is a cheater and will always be a cheater
2 - You are nothing more than slam-piece to him and have encouraged and allowed that to be the c... (read in full...)
Should I slow down my FWB relationship?
Q. Okay... I manage to get myself into a tough situation here. About 7 months ago I began seeing this guy and it turn into a friends with benefits relationship, mainly because we had both just gotten out of relationships and neither one of us wanted ...
A. 6 June 2012: 1 - IMO most woman cannot be a FWB. Just never works out that way.
2 - IMO most men can be a FWB indefinitely. They will try to keep it that way as long as possible.
Ive been in your situation before on the male side. He's saying things to... (read in full...)
How do you go about forgetting someone who has hurt you deeply?
Q. How do you go about forgetting someone who has hurt you deeply? I'm trying to forget that I even met the guy in the first place -- but it so far has been difficult. I've deleted him from FB..got rid of his number...haven't made any attempts to ...
A. 6 June 2012: 1 - In time, you will not even think of this person. This is a certainty - trust me.
2 - With the above in mind, realize that any worrying/hurting you do between then and now is completely pointless.
3 - My best, albeit hard to follow advice... (read in full...)
I'm so sick of being screwed over in relationships!
Q. I seem to attract nothing but jerks, even though I'm a good person and never cheat. I'm so sick to death of being screwed over in relationships. I've tried therapy but hasn't given me any answers. It seems like a waste of money- that I don't have....
A. 6 June 2012: One question -
Do you seem to ATTRACT jerks - or is it the case you seem to be ATTRACTED to jerks?
For some reason, I have found many woman in your age range become attracted to the "bad boy" type, then wonder why they keep getting screwed ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for letting my 17 year old daughter sleep in the same bed as her male best friend?
Q. I let my daughter's male best friend sleep in her bed with her - am I a bad mother? My daughter and her best friend are 17 and I completely trust my daughter's trust in him. I know she wouldn't do anything because she's too insecure for anything ...
A. 6 June 2012: If you want them to start having sex, encourage/allow more of that behavior.... (read in full...)
My friend is betraying my trust by telling my secrets to our other friends!
Q. Help!! One of My best friends keeps getting me to tell her secrets and then tells some of my other friends!! I feel like i can't trust her anymore but she is having a hard time right now (shes having counselling) and I don't want to talk to her ...
A. 6 June 2012: In my 44 years on this earth, I have found there is one, and only one, sure way to keep a secret.
Tell no one.... (read in full...)
I'm so close to leaving her for her lack of respect for my beliefs and culture!
Q. me and my girl recently have some religous issues. We have a 1 year old female baby, i love her and she love me too. Previously we had issue about our age differences, she is 30 and i'm 22 but we manage to get rid of that. Now she doesn't respect my ...
A. 6 June 2012: 1 - Not to be Captain Obvious here, but should not these issues be worked about BEFORE you have a child together?
2 - I am an American of Northern European decent. My fiancee is South American of Colombian decent. We respect and enjoy each oth... (read in full...)
Should I try to work out things with my sometimes abusive/sometimes sweet husband?
Q. I am writing on here for help, please give me your honest thoughts. Can someone change I am 22 and been married for 6 months. My husband has always been emotionally abusive but I have always forgiven him, I left him once but went back. He has pus...
A. 6 June 2012: The person who stated below that this is typical activity of an abuser is right on the money.
Abusive some of the time = abuser.
Unfortunately, you now have a child with this person. To a degree, you are now stuck with him for the rest of ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the bank for my gambling boyfriend
Q. Hello, So I've been with my bf for 4 years. Its been a battle to say the least. Some major control issues for the 1st 3 yrs on his behalf. He's finally loosening up over this last year except he still contacts me excessively. Which I find ann...
A. 6 June 2012: Ok. Tough love time.
Ill sum it up for you. He has a problem. You know he has a problem. He knows he has a problem. He is openly unwilling to do anything about it. You know this as well. This adds up to one thing - he is a loser, and will... (read in full...)
Would you date a woman/person who is separated?
Q. Hi everyone. I am especially interested in MEN'S opinions but this question is open to everyone: Would you date a woman who is separated if you liked her or would her separated status stop you from asking her out or considering her for a lon...
A. 1 June 2012: For me, separated = married, and Id stay away, for a lot of reasons, the most important being - 1 - In many states, sex while seperated is adultry. No thanks. I do feel until you're divorced, you're married. 2 - If someone is seperated, t... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and want to have a baby even though I'm not ready
Q. I'm 15 and I feel like I want to have a baby even though I know I'm not ready financially. Why do I feel like this? How can I push the thought away? I have been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and we have talked about having kids but not ...
A. 1 June 2012: Let me help push the thought away -
The cost for raising a child from 0-18 in the US is around $240,000 BEFORE college.
If you have that kind of money sitting around, Id say go for it......... (read in full...)
Can I get a STD infection from having sex with 3 clean guys?
Q. I had sex with three guys unprotected the past 3 days drunk. I know they're all clean since I know all of them. My question is even though they're clean, can I contract a std from bodily fluid with 3 different guys in a short period of time. or some ...
A. 1 June 2012: 1 - You never know if someone is "clean," no matter how well you think you know them. Is likely the last private thing anyone will ever share with you. Only way to really know is on a test result.
2 - If you're absolutely sure, please see #1. ... (read in full...)
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