Because of an open relationship I may lose my gf
Q. a year ago, i asked my gf for an open relationship. i really wanted to experience more sexually from different types of women. We had been together for three years before i asked her, and after five months she told me she would give a try, though s...
A. 3 October 2012: Whenever considering an open relationship with some one you are serious about, please never forget the following two steadfast rules:
1 - Open relationships do not work with someone you care about. Never, no exceptions.
2 - Please see rule ... (read in full...)
Is a 13 year gap for dating really such a big deal.
Q. I've recently started casually dating a guy who is 13 years older than me, I'm 24. We're having lots of fun, i enjoy his company and its not serious. I get annoyed when we go out because people stare and comment, with one girl actually saying it ...
A. 3 October 2012: The rule of thumb for a woman younger than a man is half his age plus seven. Since he's 37, you're right on the cusp. After he turns 40, you'll forever after be on the right side of that equation...... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a married man who is ready to leave his wife for me but I don't want to break up a family. What should I do?
Q. I am in love with a married man. I am 23 he is 29. He is willing to leave his wife for me. She lives in another country. I don't know what to do, because ever though we are deeply in love with each other, i don't want to break up a family. They ...
A. 3 October 2012: If only I could have a nickle for every man who was "going to leave his wife," I could make Midas look like a pauper....... (read in full...)
In am in love with this girl. How can I win her heart? She has cheated on me so many times
Q. Hi My Name is E,so there is this girl. She's Beautiful and we met right after the day of my birthday and we got together. We was in an on and off relationship. So anyways we got back together and we stayed together but then we broke up. i wanted to...
A. 3 October 2012: She doesnt want you my friend, and you are going to live to regret the fool you are making of yourself in your pursuit of her....... (read in full...)
Does a cheater deserves a scond chance?
Q. Just a little of insight please. I have just foud out that my hub of 3 years have cheated on me for 4 months.We have 2 sons, the youngest was only 1 month old whne he started sleeping with the other woman. He works deployed 4 months on, 2 months ...
A. 3 October 2012: By second chance, do you mean a second chance to cheat again? Because thats what will happen....... (read in full...)
My boyfriends disrespectful past is stopping me from moving on with our future?
Q. My boyfriend has been terrible in the past, staring at other women in public, buying disgusting mens magazines and putting them in plain sight where i could see them and thinking nothing of it, flirting with other girls behind my back and thinking ...
A. 3 October 2012: You have all of the data you need to know about him. What he is doing WILL NOT change. If anything, it will get worse as he becomes more comfortable in the relationship and his sneaking becomes too much effort.
If you dont like his "past," ... (read in full...)
Why a 180 from what she said she wanted a week ago? Did I do something wrong?
Q. Ive been with my girl friend for a few months. She asked me to move in with her and her children. This happened about a week ago. Everything was falling into place. i treat her like a queen and her children are treated the same way. I do everythi...
A. 3 October 2012: Do you have children of your own? If not, she is making a pretty large request in asking you to accept hers.
The way I see it, she is the one that needs to make sure you are comfortable, not the other way around....... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and don't know if I want to lose my virginity or not
Q. I'm 17 and basically, confused about weather I want to loose my virginity or not. I'm one of the oldest of my friends and I'm the only one to be still a virgin. I know that at least a small part of me wants to loose it, but the other half of me is ...
A. 3 October 2012: Your friends should have absolutely no impact on such an important decision. Most data shows in 10 years, you wont be speaking with any of them anyway.
Just remember, losing your virginity is only something you can do once, with one person, ... (read in full...)
Her Mom has agreed to keep it secret. But do I tell my new Gf that I had sex with her Mom in the past?
Q. I have been dating a woman for a few months now and all is going really great. Recently she introduced me to her mother and immediately we recognized each other. A few years earlier we were in a bar and started talking to each other. She is was o...
A. 3 October 2012: IMO, the relationship cannot work out. I cannot even fathom being with a woman my father was with! And secrets have a way of being found out. They become very heavy to carry.
Time to move on.... (read in full...)
I don't like sex. Anyone else?
Q. I just wonder why people can't accept that i dont like sex. Ive never been raped, abused or anything like that, i just dont ever feel the need for it. All my hormone levels r ok. I can watch it on tv, if a sexy scene on a programme comes up but that ...
A. 3 October 2012: I quite like it. Im 44, but me an my fiancee have it at least 5-7 times per week. I guess Ive always had higher than usual testoserone levels.
I dont have any issue w people who dont like it, I just dont know many people like that, and given my... (read in full...)
Should I treat the anniversary of the day his brother died the same as any other day? Or should I try to do something special for him?
Q. this week marks the anniversary of my boyfriend's little brother's death. which happen a few years ago. We've talked about it very few times during the last year we've been together. he doesn't mention his brother much either. he didn't tell me ...
A. 3 October 2012: Very thoughtful of you to consider this so much. My suggestion is just be there for him as much as you can. Again, kudos to you.... (read in full...)
Will I be taken seriously in a business professional environment or in interviews because of my less-than ultra-femme appearance?
Q. okay, this isn't actually a specific relationship question, so much as it's just a general question i really need advice about. it's something that is really stressing me a great deal. i am a 28-year-old college grad with great interpersonal re...
A. 3 October 2012: If you are looking for a job where you are selling to the general public, it could be a problem, esp in this job market. Pharm reps look the way they do for a reason. Just the reality of it.... (read in full...)
Attracted to my fiancee's older brother.
Q. My fiancee and I have been together for almost three years now, and we have a 1 1/2 year old daughter together. I'm about to be 20, and he just turned 19 in August. We're going to get married here in the next month or so. Now, my problem is, I've...
A. 3 October 2012: From your post, I can say without fear of contradiction that you are not ready to get married. If you get married to you current fiancee, you will be divorced within 5 years. Not a guess.... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to show anger like a normal person?
Q. My girlfriend never gets mad. She just never gets impatient or annoyed or frazzled or frustrated. It's come to the point when I just want to instigate fights to get a reaction out of her. I push her, and push and push, but she nevers gets angry. W...
A. 3 October 2012: Why dont you just let her be who she is and stop trying to change her to someone she isnt?
People are who they are, and typically dont change. If how she is isnt fine with you, you need to fine someone who is.... (read in full...)
I cheated on my workaholic wife -- now what?
Q. I have been married for 10 years and have two kids under the age of 10. My wife recently was made an executive at her fortune 200 firm and has not been home much since. She leaves for work around 7 AM and most evenings she gets home after 10 PM. ...
A. 3 October 2012: Sorry - this really pisses me off. I used to work on Wall St and I put in plenty of 90 hour weeks. Its not like your wife is out partying with her friends or chasing other guys. She is WORKING. You know - WORK. The thing that is difficult and ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always read into things too much?
Q. I have got some guy friends.I see most of them in a strict platonic way.I'm always friendly to them but NOT flirty.We talk,hang out and laugh together. However,when I start talking to them more often(especially if we're good friends/close fr...
A. 3 October 2012: Sorry - but I just had to crack up the title - "Why do GUYS always read into things too much?"
... (read in full...)
My younger girlfriend suddenly left me and I cant get over it. What do I do?
Q. She is 27 and I am 44. We met at work and were together 5 years through good and tough times. Just as it seems everything is finally settling down, as we can finally move on together,she dumps me saying its not working, a week before she moves into ...
A. 3 October 2012: You need a shot of tough love. This woman just dumped your ass. She doesnt want to be with you, and has told you so. The "letting her guard down" BS is wishful thinking.
You need to cut it off with her 100%, and like yesterday. Do not wast... (read in full...)
Should I break up with b/f who swears he didn't put up a profile on a dating website? I know he did it!
Q. My friend and I were looking at plenty of fish dating site today because we were really bored in work I've never been on there but she said she knew loads of people on there with cringey photos and stuff they'd written about themselves. Well I came ...
A. 2 October 2012: Yes - what men and women will say and do to cover themselves is laughable.
Sorry ladies - its a human condition, not a masculine one....... (read in full...)
Do these kind of men ever change???
Q. for about 6 months now, this married man and i have been fooled around. i have developed a lot of feeling for him. he lives away from me, so i only get to see him once or twice a month. recently ive learned that there are several other women hes ...
A. 28 September 2012: Spoiler -
No kind of anyone ever changes.
People are who they are, and can appear to be someone different with great effort. At some point, the effort becomes too much and they go back to who they are.
... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time hoping he will change?
Q. I met this man almost five years ago. At the time I was 20 and in between relationships. We went on a couple dates and agreed to keep it "low key and simple". Then I met someone that I wanted a relationship with and cut it off with him. That r...
A. 25 September 2012: I have lost count on how many times I have told people (esp women, for whatever reason), that there is one certainty in life besides death and taxes - its people dont change. People are who they are. They can put on a mask for a while and hide it, ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you have reacted in the same way as my boyfriend to the fact that I am a virgin at 20?
Q. So this guy i'm seeing we were getting really close and things were intense, I wanted to go the whole way but I stopped him and said I can't i'm still a virgin, but told him I want to, just not yet. I'm ready, i'm just not sure yet if I want to...
A. 25 September 2012: This guy is a Tool, with a capital T. His true intentions are clear and they are not good. Dump him and move on.... (read in full...)
How do I trust her and accept her past?
Q. I apologize for the length, but I don't know how to condense this or make it concise, as to me, it's complicated, so I'll try to get as much relevant information out as well as the main question/questions: how do I ask her if she's been with other's ...
A. 25 September 2012: You seem to be suffering from elements of retroactive jealousy. Please do a search, there are many posts on the topic here.
I can speak to this affliction from experience. What I will tell you is this - if you decide to stay, you are in for one ... (read in full...)
How do couples handle arguments, fights and disagreements?
Q. I am curious to know how couples handle it when they have an argument, fight, disagreement etc. Do you just go off seperately into another room to calm down afterwards? I ask because my bf and i had a argument. It was about something small ...
A. 25 September 2012: Not going to comment on how its resolved between the two involved, but what I will say is this - never ever ever do your laundry in public. That includes calling your friends/brothers/sisters etc and giving them your side of the story to make ... (read in full...)
Why will my boyfriend give his friend money but won't help me?
Q. my boyfriend supports a woman who is just a friend he hardly ever sees her but gives her $$ all the time. my water is shut off but he wont help me how can i get him to help? he is with me most all the time....
A. 20 September 2012: How about this - how about you take care of your own financial responsibilities and stop wondering why someone else wont take care of them for you?
You bf has his own money. How he spends it and who he gives it to is absolutely none of your bus... (read in full...)
LDR..I'm afraid of her leaving me
Q. Im afraid of being left. Im tired of the nervousness, im tired of losing sleep, im tired of realizing im most likely overreacting but I cant help it. Ive been dating my girlfriend for 7 months today and we have a long distance relationship. We make ...
A. 20 September 2012: LDRs usually last 6-12 months before something must be done to rectify the situation, or the situation will rectify itself....... (read in full...)
I want my father back in my life.
Q. Hi, I turned 19 last month. And this birthday was quite eventful. It has actually sent my world for a toss. And I need help desperately. My parents divorced when I was 2. I've lived with mum ever since. I'm not allowed to talk about my dad. Wh...
A. 20 September 2012: You have every right to see your dad, and your mom is going to have to accept that. End of story. In fact, your mother owes you the most heartfelt sincere apology possible. I wish you the best in your reunion.... (read in full...)
Truly love my wife, only been with her, want to try another woman though.
Q. Hello there, I married my high school sweetheart. We have been together for near 15 years, married only about 5 years. We had kids "really" young. I have only ever slept with her and she has only ever slept with me 100% fact. So in technical ter...
A. 20 September 2012: Please read what Foot In My Mouth wrote.
You have a great thing that many would kill for, and you seem to be willing to jeopardize it for a curiosity.
Rarely does a situation like this turn out well. You would be likely throwing out eve... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm soon to be engaged?
Q. How do I tell my parents about my relationship? I'm just 20 and my girl is also 20 and we are going to get engaged..my girl's parents got to know about the relationship and asked me to break up... I'm not in a situation to break up.. I have gone ...
A. 20 September 2012: If you cannot find the courage/wisdom to tell your parents about such an event, that in itself tells me you are in no way mature enough to be considering marriage.... (read in full...)
2 months of dating..... is it too soon to start talking about future plans?
Q. I am a 33 year old just separated 5 months ago (see my previous questions) with a kid that has started dating a girl about 2 months ago and has fallen for her. Since break up I have been getting together with a few wonderful women without getting ...
A. 20 September 2012: I stopped reading after your first sentence.
You are separated, and for only 5 months. Separated = still married. Take care of one thing before moving on to another.... (read in full...)
Is lack of physical attraction a valid reason to break up with someone?
Q. My boyfriend isn't attractive to me. I'm not implying that he's ugly or that other people might not find him good looking but I don't. He's a good person and treats me well and we're getting to that age where we're thinking about serious commitme...
A. 19 September 2012: It depends - is physical attraction something you NEED? I often tell my friends when considering marriage - a big mistake people often make is looking at what they WANT and not what they NEED in a relationship. Just make sure your "needs" are met. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps files on all his previous girlfriends
Q. My boyfriend keeps files on all his ex-girlfriends. Is this normal? He was on a dating site before he met me and he had files, manila folders, with print-outs of the women he dated and their correspondence back and forth through the computer. ...
A. 19 September 2012: My best friend is a lawyer. While in law school, he was falsely accused of rape as retribution for breaking up a fight between some female acquaintance and her bf (who was abusing her.) Nothing ever came of it, but it turned out to be a huge PITA ... (read in full...)
Should I acknowledge my ex's birthday?
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years. It was a mutual agreement as the relationship wasn't working out. We haven't spoke in 3 months since the break up. (we both decided never to speak again) Her birthday is coming up soon and I'm ...
A. 13 September 2012: I have two ex gfs that I still speak to from time to time, and birthdays are one of those times. That said, we broke up on a good note. You dont sound like you did...... (read in full...)
I may have miscarried recently. It's made me want a baby. Should I wait like my Bf says? I worry waiting could destroy our relationship.
Q. I'm 18 and going to be turning 19 in 3 weeks. I have a boyfriend who I have been with for 5 years and he is turning 20 in 2 months. He was the person I lost my virginity to and we have only slept with each other. I started taking the pill as soon ...
A. 13 September 2012: If waiting to have a baby is going to "destroy" your relationship, then this is really a relationship that should not produce a baby....... (read in full...)
He says I'm a great woman, but he only wants a sexual relationship...what am I to do?
Q. He says that he doesn't see a serious relationship with me because, I'm not part of his culture and that when it comes to building a family, the way he children will look, they language they speak and the culture is very important to him, THUS he ...
A. 11 September 2012: What should you do? Thank him for being honest and move on perhaps....... (read in full...)
What would you think of an otherwise decent woman having a one night stand in the distant past?
Q. If you were dating a woman of good standing, moral fibre and integrity.... what would you think of her if you found out she made one big mistake several years ago in the form of a one night stand found from the internet? Would who she is today be ...
A. 11 September 2012: I personally wouldnt be in a relationship with a woman who would have a one night stand, but thats my own measuring stick. People have their own standards for what they will accept or wont. Many guys wont care. Im not one of them.
As Yos stat... (read in full...)
Why do people always say its good to be a virgin? what's so great about it?
Q. Im an 18yr old guy, just out of school, and I'm still a virgin...I don't understand why it's so hard...why I dislike it so much...I feel like I'm missing out...like everyone else is in on something that I'm not a part of. Then people say its a good ...
A. 6 September 2012: I have a spoiler for you. I have never in my life, not one single time, ever heard a woman say - "I just wish I lost it earlier." Conversely, I have lost count on how many times I have heard - "I wish I waited longer/for the right person."
Proce... (read in full...)
Are there guys out there who actually don't like strip clubs?
Q. Are there guys out there who actually DON'T like strip clubs? I live in a mining town and strip clubs are starting to pop up everywhere, and since mining is a very male dominated field, guys go there after work to bond, and blah blah. I've been ...
A. 6 September 2012: IMO, strip clubs are retarded. Its like going to Basking Robbins, pressing your face against the glass for two hours staring at the ice cream, paying $200, then going home. Makes no sense. ... (read in full...)
I think my best friend slept with my FWB
Q. I think my best friend slept with my friends with benifits. She brings him up alot. How do I find out ? I slept with him two daya ago thimgs were good...
A. 6 September 2012: Whatever. He's doing what he wants w both of your bc your're letting him. In a casual relationship, he has every right to do whatever he likes. Obviously, he is....... (read in full...)
B/f cheated, got her pregnant but says he loves me more. What do I do?
Q. my boyfriend of 3years cheated on me for 3monthes with a girl much younger than me and even got her pregnant. i found out recently from the girl her self. i asked him but at first he was denying later on he told me the truth but he says he loves me ...
A. 6 September 2012: You should stay if you want a life of misery by hitching your star to a cheater/loser.
You have just been shown his true colors while you have no official attachment to him. Many people would love to have been in your shoes before they made a h... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship, money and losing interest
Q. I'm 19 in a relationship with a 17 year old for just over a month. I know its not long, but she has gotten really serious very fast so I feel like I've accidentally made a larger commitment than I had hoped. I've met her whole family (extended and ...
A. 31 August 2012: Ive done LDRs before. They are -
1) Expensive. Mine was NY and SF, so the travel costs were huge.
2) Temporary. You have about 6-12 months to make a decision either way or 1 above, among other things, will start to make the decision for... (read in full...)
If I choose love over my dreams, wil regret it?
Q. Used to date this guy for 2 years, 7 years ago. We broke up because i moved to another country to study in the university but everytime i go back to my home town we hook up. I still love him a lot and he says that he still loves me too. My dream was ...
A. 30 August 2012: Dont give up education, life plans, a good job, or dreams for anyone this young. If you're married, thats one thing, but IMO bfs/gfs are a dime a dozen, and come quite easily. Dreams dont.... (read in full...)
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