I attacked my Husband!!
Q. Today I got into an argument with my husband. The row started getting worse and then i pushed him and slapped him in the face. I also scratched him when he pushed me back. I've done this a few years ago and thought I'm over my 'anger' feelings...
A. 17 August 2010: Your biggest problems is your last sentence. You are negative because you are chosing to be. It is effecting you're entire life apparently. You can just as easily be positive if you choose to be. Its all up to you........ (read in full...)
I've been with 40 sexual partners, how can we get past this?
Q. My partner 25 and i 23 have been together for a year, i have been with 40 sexual partners and he has only been with me we have always stuggled with this and seems to be getting worse the closer we get has anyone got some advice on how we can get ...
A. 16 August 2010: The more I read on retro jealousy the more I am certain that the vast majority of women have absolutely no clue what it really is. It would be like a man commenting on the nuances of PMS.
Back to the original poster. 40 is a lot for your age... (read in full...)
The scary 'age gap"......
Q. Hey guys. I'm currently in love with a girl that is 17 years old, and i'm 25 years old. I've known her for almost a year now, and i'm still madly in love with her. When we met, she was still dating someone else, but she told me that she wants t...
A. 10 August 2010: Someone a long time ago told me for men the floor is given by half your age plus seven. Seemed ridiculous to me when he told me, but sure seems applicable the older I get.... (read in full...)
I've got stong feelings for this guy but he's using me for sex...
Q. few months ago ive been seeing a guy who i have strong feelings for but he's been using me for sex, and i told him i want more than this. its very hard to get a smile from him he wont have a normal convo, he's very disrespectful, why does he hate me ...
A. 10 August 2010: He is using you for sex only because you are letting him.... (read in full...)
Lies about her past........
Q. me and my girlfriend were talking about her past early in our relationship and she said she had anly slept with 2 other people only 7 times and only had oral once... i read her diary and it said she had slept with 3 guys and one guy was 7 times and ...
A. 5 August 2010: I find this kind of funny. A guy catches his wife in a lie - a lie about something that is pretty important to him, and the response here is to chastise him for catching her.
Mate - not that I excuse your for reading her diary (two wrongs d... (read in full...)
I'm not a virgin but I want a virgin wife
Q. Okay, so... I have been very active in my life, more so than most people. I put it down to my confidence levels but many put it down to me being an ass. Except for this I'm always good, never harm anything or anyone and any chance I get I help ...
A. 5 August 2010: I used to be in Mensa myself, but since have joined ISPE because I think the monthly journal is way better.
In any event, you look like you are suffering from some retroactive jealousy. I have it myself, and admit it freely. People who say its ... (read in full...)
Low self esteem, forbidden to date by my mother, but I still really want a boyfriend!
Q. im a 14 year old girl and im not in a rush to grow up, its just that my whole life since i started 3rd grade i wasnt popular. boys called me ugly and when i would start to like a guy the whole grade would find out and he didnt like me. no boys have ...
A. 5 August 2010: When I was 13, I felt like the biggest loser in the world. I felt ugly, no girl would date me, and I was failing in school.
Now Im 42. I have four college degrees, one of them from an Ivy League school. After a prosperous career on Wall Str... (read in full...)
Wife wants an open relationship so that I will stray and she can walk away
Q. My wife proposed that we have an open marriage because she refuses to meet my sexual needs and expectations. She wants me to find a "whore" who is willing to attach herself to my crotch and she can find someone who will meet her emotional needs. ...
A. 5 August 2010: DO NOT CHEAT. You will be azz-raped in divorce court, no matter what you claim she said. I bet she knows this.
I would call my lawyer today if I were you.... (read in full...)
What age do most people lose their virginity?
Q. Hello, I am curious as to what age most people lose their virginity. All my friends have had sex, and I was wondering what age most people began having sex....
A. 4 August 2010: It varies. Do not choose to do it because your "friends have." Its a gift you can only give once, never forget that.
I have heard countless women say to me they wish they waited longer. I have never once heard a woman say they lost it earlier.... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend just the sluttiest girl on the planet???
Q. Do girls ever like "having a train pulled on them?". My girlfriend has had a very lurid sexual past, as have all her close friends. She unveiled all this to me soon after we had said, "I love you.". I have been dealing with some jealousy/maybe a ...
A. 4 August 2010: Fact of the matter - the moment I heard of such a story Id be out the door so fast itd make her head spin.... (read in full...)
Slowly going crazy with guilt!!!
Q. *OP Title* This is a bit of a mess. I recently married my boyfriend (now husband) of 8 years. We are so happy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. Ever since we got engaged I have been thinking about a mistake I made in the first 3 w...
A. 3 August 2010: Sorry, just cannot agree with the multitude here who believe the ends justify the means.
I do not believe a relationship should have lies through it indefinitely, especially ones that the other person should have known.
I would want to kn... (read in full...)
I want to love her without being disgusted at her past and where she has been.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now however we have known each other and been close for 3 years. She has had 4 claimed sexual partners including me, I have had 3. Were both 23. She had sexual relations with her much older ...
A. 2 August 2010: Ok - a lot here.
1 - So shes had 3 abortions from three different men? Not a quick learner this one? Dude, I have three letters for you - STD. Have a test, seriously
2 - Given the stories you offer, I would be a bit surprised if the... (read in full...)
Do you tell your husband when you have cheated?
Q. I had an affair 3 years ago with a man I thought I loved. I was so messed up from it I slept with another man just to get over the man I was in love with. I have been married to my husband for over 20 years and have not slept with anyone else! It ...
A. 2 August 2010: Despite the best intentions, I dont believe a relationship can ever move forward on a lie. Ask yourself - would you want to know? That tells you everything you need to know.... (read in full...)
Sex is nonexistent with my husband, so I have an affair. Should I leave my marriage?
Q. I am going to try to make this long story as short as possible. I've been married for over 36 years and have 2 grown children. My husband and I have been together since high school. He was my first real love. I built everything around him. We have ...
A. 2 August 2010: So, if you were in an accident and were confined to a wheelchair, I guess you'd think itd be just fine if your husband left you for another woman. Afterall, you cannot "perform" like you used to. What is he supposed to do afterall? Honestly,... (read in full...)
I'm too shallow to overcome her sexual past
Q. My girlfriend of 9 months has slept with lots of partners and i am finding it hard getting over it. I am 20 and she is 18. She has slept with 9 people before me. Her first was when she was 14, she's slept with someone who was 21 when she was 15,...
A. 2 August 2010: Ive been in your shoes before mate. As others have said here, its a very real byproduct of being a man. For some reason, it hit me harder than most (at least I think so.) I found the best medicine for me was to move on to someone I could be with ... (read in full...)
How can I make my ex regret dumping me?
Q. I cut all the contacts with my ex when he told me about his new gf and said he was very happy together . But he wanted to stay with me as a friend.I denied saying that it may spoil his present relationship.But He insisted me to keep in touch with ...
A. 2 August 2010: Success and clean living are the best revenge IMO.... (read in full...)
Married, fell for someone else and haven't heard from him. What should I do?
Q. I am a married woman and I fell in love with someone else. I haven't heard from him in awhile but i know he cared for me too... Im confused as should i presue him or not??? I miss him so much it hurts i cant think straight,,...
A. 2 August 2010: More than trying to find this other man, a much more pressing issue is why you are looking elsewhere while married at this early stage.... (read in full...)
Why do I date outside of my race?
Q. Help, I can't understand why I've never dated a guy my own race or age. It's so weird...the other day, a man asked me if he was the first white man I've gone on a date with. I said no and this led to me admitting I always dated outside my race. He ...
A. 30 July 2010: I am nordic white, and my gf is a beautiful Colombiana. I have only dated Latinas for the past 10 years. For me, I think it goes past just personal preference. I think genetically for the most part opposites attract. It does seem like nature ... (read in full...)
For the guys... what differentiates between a one-night-stand girl and a keeper?
Q. This ones for the guys... what makes a girl decent for a one night stand? what makes a woman ideal for a relationship? What kind of girls would you consider only good for one night? i'm talking looks and personality. And why do you think that if...
A. 29 July 2010: Keepers and one night stands are typically mutually exclusive groups.
As to your point about showing skin - whether you like it or not how you dress gives others information about you. If you are showing a lot of skin many will take that as you a... (read in full...)
How often does a healthy couple have sex?
Q. My boyfriend says we need to have more sex, and I thought we had sex a lot (about 4- 6 times a week). I just wanted to know how often do other couples (do you) have sex? And how long have you guys been together? Did you have more when you started ...
A. 29 July 2010: I am 42, my gf is 34. We have sex just about every night, and I think she'd want it every morning too if I wasnt so grumpy/tired in the mornings.
Feels completely "normal" to me....... (read in full...)
What kind of things are important to know about your fiance before getting married?
Q. MOD NOTE: OP's own title: What kind of things are important to know about your fiance before getting married? I'm not looking for the obvious things here...Wondering what other engaged/married couples come to discover is important to know be...
A. 28 July 2010: From a mans perspective these are things that I always look for -
1 - My first question - I try to get this out of the way by the end of the first date. Do you get along with your father? If the answer is anything but splendidly - run, run fast... (read in full...)
I don't love him, I'm actually starting to hate him!
Q. Im 27and I have been with my boyfriend (29 yrs old) for 11 years and we have 7 year old twin boys together .I don't love him anymore . Im actualy starting to hate him .He never made me happy ,never tried and never will .The kids are starting to ...
A. 28 July 2010: Sorry - have to be Captain Obvious here but -
Ok - whats wrong with this two statements?
"we have 7 year old twin boys together"
"He never made me happy ,never tried and never will"
In the name of all that is holy, if you are with a ... (read in full...)
Why do guys want a virgin?
Q. Why do guys say that sex with a virgin girl is better/more pleasurable than with a non-virgin? and why do guys want and like to be the one to take a girls virginity?...
A. 28 July 2010: If you have any uncertainty about this, please search "retroactive jealousy" and watch how many posts come up. For evolutionary reasons, many men dont like the women that have invested emotions in to have slept with other men. That it is in the ... (read in full...)
Can a leopard really change its spots?
Q. My girlfriend and I have a very honest relationship. She is several years younger than I, she is 38. She was married for 10 years, cheated on her hubby and they divorced. She carried on with her lover for 7 years until his divorce was final, t...
A. 27 July 2010: Once again, marriage is the most important decision you will ever make in your life. Do you really think its a good idea going into it with the deck already stacked against you?
You need to break this down objectively. Write down these things s... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 26 July 2010: Sorry - but IMO kind of a silly thread. Not unlike saying - "ok everyone who has ever been cheated on, post advice here."
Retro jealousy is a very case by case thing, and I wouldnt diminish the feelings of anyone with it by saying just go look ... (read in full...)
Very confused....been married for 10 years and my wife cheated!
Q. Hello everyone....I've been married for 10 years but dated my wife for 2 years prior to getting married...so all together have been with her 12 years. We have 2 wonderful boys 6 and 4. About 3 months ago I found out my wife had been seeing a man who ...
A. 26 July 2010: You have to ask yourself this - will you ever be able to look at her the same way again or get it completely out of your head? If the answer is no, you need to do yourself the favor and leave. You shouldnt have to bear the burden of this mistake ... (read in full...)
Do you ever really forget your first love..
Q. I met mine almost 3 years ago, we were together for a year and a half, and yeah things went quite badly towards the end, he changed and what not. But it's been almost 2 years since we broke up and I still think about him every single day, I st...
A. 26 July 2010: Since I just had to think for a second who that actually was, Id say yes, you do forget them........ (read in full...)
My marriage and my husband are boring me to pieces, what can I do, give up??
Q. My God. The boredom I am feeling these days is unrelenting. Well - I have been married to my husband for 2.5 years and we dated for 10 months before that. We were BEST OF FRIENDS and we got along famously. I've had better bedbuddies - but I ...
A. 26 July 2010: Any potential problem that was tiny before marriage will become much larger after marriage. I have never hear one person tell me that marriage made things easier. I have heard many tell me that marriage has made things harder. Make sure those ... (read in full...)
Wife confessed to sex with my best friend before we were married, big deal or not??
Q. 2 years ago my wife confessed to sleeping with my former bestfriend before we where married. Since then she has being a good wife and mother.am still not over the pain and i constantly ignore her. She said she regrets her actions.she was my first ...
A. 24 July 2010: Cheated on you w your best friend? Sounds like a real gem. Maybe you should take her back to see if she'll sleep w your brother and father for the trifecta.... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me before we got married.should I divorce her?
Q. hello there. I have a big problem that i need help to, amy wife cheated on me before we where married. We have being married 5 years, we never had sex before we got married, she was my first and i though i was hers. We have a 2yr old boy.i found out ...
A. 23 July 2010: If you think thats the only cheating shes done I have some swampland in florida to sell you........ (read in full...)
My wife possibly had sex with two of my co-workers, should I consider divorcing her?
Q. hai, well il go straight to the point..i am a christian man raised with morals and i waited to have sex till i married, now 10yrs down the line my wife tells me i was not her first, she had slept with 6 men 2 of which i work in the same company.i ...
A. 22 July 2010: You have every right to be angry and upset. She lied to you about something that is very important to you. My hunch is she is lying about other things as well. ... (read in full...)
Her stories about her "male friends" keep changing!
Q. Been with my mate for nearly a year now. She's a wonderful woman, we are both middle age, I am divorced, she has not been...no kids. She says she's been with 4 partners sexually before me, with a few instances of oral sex through her 20's. She ...
A. 22 July 2010: Only tip of the iceberg. In ten years, you'll be another guy on this board saying "I didnt know my wife was such a slut......"... (read in full...)
Fiancee lied about being a virgin, how can I let her down gently so she can find someone of the same mindset?
Q. Hai, il go straight to the point. My fiancee lied to me that she was a virgin, am 27 years and i kept my virginity she told me she slept with 10 guys and i dont i can marry her. How do i let her go gently so that she can find some else with her same ...
A. 22 July 2010: You are doing the completely right thing - find someone with the same high moral standard as yourself and you'll never regret you did. That you want to let go of this liar so gently shows what a good guy you must be.... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed by what I thought was my good catholic wife!
Q. I recently went to my wifes 20th high school reunion. I was ok with the fact that some of my wife's ex-boyfriends were there and unfortunately I personally know them all. My problem began when i read the last wills and tenaments from their senior ...
A. 22 July 2010: For the love of God, how many threads am I going to read that a husband is upset over finding out his wife of 10+ years was more promiscuous than he ever thought?
Its getting old guys. Marriage is the biggest decision you will ever make - MAKE S... (read in full...)
Breakup over bad past... please help!
Q. Please help... I am 20 years old and I'm in this fantastic relationship. It's been 10 months... I have a rather "dirty" past, I wanted to have fun and did and he feels so threatened by my past that once every 2 or 3 months he brings it up. He says ...
A. 22 July 2010: The problem is not with him anymore than it is with you. He is made a certain way. He is a man and because of his evolution he is susceptible to retroactive jealousy. It is not because he is less of a man, actually it is because he is one.
... (read in full...)
I would never date a man with 'baggage'
Q. I'm 21 and his son is 5 years old, we been seeing each other 5 months. He never told me he had a child till 3 months into our relationship as I had told him, a few times before that I would never date a man with 'baggage' he still decided to see me ...
A. 21 July 2010: oldersister -
I agree with you - he should have been forthcoming about his situation. That said, in the interest of not being hypocritical you of course would agree that a woman should be forthcoming to a man about her past so he could also mak... (read in full...)
Are married women basically all disloyal, cheaters at heart, ready to do whatever it takes for male attention?
Q. Why do so many married women cheat? I don't know if this is just a function of where I live (Southern California), but it seems like the majority of women I know well have cheated at some point on their husbands. These range from a few women who ...
A. 20 July 2010: Raiders - to say that the "men are the cheaters in our society" is IMO a short sighted statement. For every man who's cheating, there is a woman who is facilitating it, and in most cases they know what they are doing.... (read in full...)
My wife is haveing affair with another men I forgive her once and she started it again plz tell me what to do?
Q. "OP Own Title" my wife is having affair! we had relationship throught phone and net for 3 years after that we agree to go for marriage life she was living in canada and i was in afghanistan sometimes when i was talking to her on the phone she was ...
A. 20 July 2010: Please tell me you're kidding. You're wife cheats on you, you forgive her, and she goes and does it again, and you "dont know what to do?"
Sorry to be so blunt, but what the hell else do you need to know about this woman?... (read in full...)
Tormented by girlfriend's sexual past
Q. hi guys. i know this has been throughly discussed here before.. i already researched about it and read almost all of the responses to the queries. and honestly it helped a lot. i have a girlfriend now who i love very much. i really adore her and ...
A. 16 July 2010: "Progressive enough to understand"
Wow - no fallacy there. So if someone disagrees with a sexually liberal lifesyle, then by definition they are not "progressive" enough to "understand." With the same exact logic, someone could equivale... (read in full...)
Tormented by girlfriend's sexual past
Q. hi guys. i know this has been throughly discussed here before.. i already researched about it and read almost all of the responses to the queries. and honestly it helped a lot. i have a girlfriend now who i love very much. i really adore her and ...
A. 15 July 2010: It does beg the question - what is she doing still sending (and keeping) emails about that if indeed - "the past is the past."
All I can say is if this is going to haunt you - move on. It doesnt make you any less a man - in fact this type of ... (read in full...)
Why the double standard?
Q. Why do guys become 'the man', and girls become 'the slut' after sex too soon? i slept with a guy that chased me like crazy and yeah I know...I shouldnt have. if he stopped contact because he thought I was easy, then how is this not a double ...
A. 12 July 2010: Has absolutely nothing to do with the "media" or anything like that. It is simply because we are a product of our evolution. Its all based on the drive to procreate. Nothing more, nothing less.... (read in full...)
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