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Is a threesome a good idea if my boyfriend suggests it?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 January 2011) 14 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *otally_irrisistable writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He has expressed how he enjoys watching me masturbate with a dildo. He has recently discussed with me how he would enjoy watching me have sex with another man. I just dont want this to ruin our relationship. At the same time if he enjoys it i am willing to give it a try. I am asking if this is normal? He has said that he would join in and they both do seductive things to me but not with one another. Im curious to see if this will be an adventure in our sex life that will be good or if it is not such a good idea. Thank you for listening and I hope I can get some answers.

View related questions: dildo, sex life, sex with another, threesome

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

You do what you think is right and if you dnt know then dnt do it.It might and might not ruin ur realtionship.Talk about it first and tell him how you feel and what worrys you.You have a right to tell him how it makess you feel.I told my husband my problem is I don't want another women touching him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011):

Do not do it. You may regret it years to come. IF this relationship does not work you will be worried about it leaking to your next relationship. Do not Do not Do not do it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

I'm Srry but I would have a threesome.Do what I did I told my husband that if he wanted to have a 3some then we r going to have one with a guy also.He never asked again till I brought it up again.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

Call me crazy, but just cant comprehend that watching another man do my gf would be anything in the realm of pleasureable.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntIt often ruins a relationship. Threesomes are only really enjoyable when there are no strings attached whatsover.

That said, your boyfriend is coming across as rather manipulative, and what with the age gap, I wonder if he isn't using you to fulfil some of his fantasies. You may want to think about whether you want to save this relationship in the first place.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

After your update, you do realize how manipulative your boyfriend sounds, right? He's trying to make you think it's your own idea. "Oh honey, your young sex drive is yearning for more, don't you think you need to get screwed by me and another man at the same time? Because I sure do!" That's what it seems like to me anyway.

Like others have said, it usually ruins a relationship--everytime. It's up to you and what you want, but I don't think you should do it unless you want to go for it 100%.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

He wants to do this for him, NOT for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

“The sad fact is that your relationship is probably already heading down the toilet simply because your bf wants to do this, you just can't see it yet, and it will take a while longer.”

I agree, once a partner starts requesting this it is a sign that it is time to get rid of them and that something is wrong.

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

Illithid agony auntQuick answer: no. There's an overwhelming chance that it would destroy your relationship and self respect. Just don't do it.

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A female reader, totally_irrisistable United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

totally_irrisistable is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you guys for all your feedback it means alot to me. I am 27 and he is 43 and he just says he knows I like to have sex and wants me to be satisfied. I have told him that he makes me happy and he knows that he just wants more for my young sex drive??? Is this normal or crazy????

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

"I just dont want this to ruin our relationship."

Well, then don't do it, because that is exactly what will happen. It may take a while, but it will happen. The sad fact is that your relationship is probably already heading down the toilet simply because your bf wants to do this, you just can't see it yet, and it will take a while longer.

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A male reader, Kilcardy United States +, writes (11 January 2011):

Don't do it. It hardly ever turns out well.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (11 January 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntThreesomes are never a good idea if ya ask me.

You're 26-29 years old, surely your sex life is not so boring that it needs spicing up by bringing someone else into the bedroom.

There's just so many things that can go wrong... but meh, I can't judge, but consider yourself warned.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011):

No- it is NOT a good idea. Don't do it. Read about all the threesome disasters here. Can you really respect a partner who will share you with another and get kicks out of watching it?

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