Can I get a STD infection from having sex with 3 clean guys?
Q. I had sex with three guys unprotected the past 3 days drunk. I know they're all clean since I know all of them. My question is even though they're clean, can I contract a std from bodily fluid with 3 different guys in a short period of time. or some ...
A. 1 June 2012: 1 - You never know if someone is "clean," no matter how well you think you know them. Is likely the last private thing anyone will ever share with you. Only way to really know is on a test result.
2 - If you're absolutely sure, please see #1. ... (read in full...)
My wife says I'm a worthless man because I cheated. She cheated first!
Q. My wife keeps calling me a worthless man. I work two jobs to support three kids plus my wife and I feel she is being ungrateful. My wife cheated and I cheated after to get revenge, she has been calling me this ever since. She also says I have don't ...
A. 1 June 2012: Dont ever cheat for revenge. Losers do that. As a matter of fact, dont ever cheat - period.
I would never be able to stay with a woman after she cheated, but thats just me. You need to decide whats important to you and what you can live wit... (read in full...)
How do I get him to give me more sex?
Q. I'm 33, my boyfriend is 31 and we've been together about 10 months. We only see each other on the weekend because we live an hour away from each other. He usually comes and stays at my place Friday night thru Sunday. Pretty much since the beginning ...
A. 24 May 2012: First, he shouldnt be talking about his past like that unless you're asking. Given graphic details like that unprompted is the sign of either a liar or a loser.
Second, if you want more sex, you should get it. If he cannot give it to you, you... (read in full...)
My wife has guy friends and our sex life is terrible! should I give up?
Q. Hello All! Need some help with this one. My wife of 4.5 years wants to be able to spend the night at guy friends house. Heres the story, Throughout our relationship she has always had a close guy friend. Usually guys that will dote on h...
A. 24 May 2012: 1 - She cannot "work" but wants to enjoy and "active social life?" Ok, for starters how about getting the-fk back to work and stop living off others taxes?
2 - Staying over another guys house is complete BS. You're a fool to allow it.... (read in full...)
Does he want to date me or just have sex?
Q. i am a lady and i am 28 years, i have a male friend that iam going out with. were are in to this relationship just 3weeks now and he is asking me of sex and he said he want me too be his wife but i dont known what too do, should i go on with him...
A. 24 May 2012: TELLING you he is going to marry you and MARRYING you are two extremely different things.
Next time he says it - tell him "ok - lets go do it today!"
In every culture and language - talk is cheap. Never listen to what people SAY, watch what ... (read in full...)
I think my ex hacked into my facebook account
Q. what would you do? hello im 30 and my ex girlfriend is 26 we've got 2 kids. we live together. and for years we've not been close since the birth of our first child. and this year after years of unhappy r/ship we split up. we desided for the ...
A. 24 May 2012: What I would do is not use Facebook. Honestly, the next good thing that comes from Facebook or Twitter will be the first.... (read in full...)
My married man said I cant have no one else but him
Q. I have been with a married man for going on 8 months now and it seems that we go well together, meaning the relationship between us just keeps going, we dont seem to have any problems, yeah sometimes i get mad at him when i cant be with him but he ...
A. 24 May 2012: When you knowingly make a deal with the devel, dont turn around and start complaning about the terms a month later....... (read in full...)
Is it bad that a boyfriend asks her girlfriend to cook?
Q. I have a problem. I have a girlfriend of 2 years and 5 months and you see, she has a friend who has a boyfriend. Well I use to have a crush on her and now that I see her with him...it gets me jealous. I mean she let's me be 'Me' compared to my ...
A. 24 May 2012: For starters, its seems that you are looking for something that your current gf will not give you. You need to decide for yourself how important that is to you.
Regarding cooking specifically, no, it is not "wrong," nor is it "right." Each rel... (read in full...)
Young and broke, but wanting to get married!
Q. My fiance and I are very happily in love. We are in our early 20s. We have been together for a couple years and have been living together for 6 months. We decided that we want to take our commitment to the next level and get married next summer. ...
A. 10 May 2012: Marriage is just as much a financial decision as it is anything else. If you dont think so, I suggest you talk to a few divorce attorney's and see what they say most of the end squabbling is about.
... (read in full...)
How can people not think of pornography as cheating?
Q. I have something bothering me i've read and discussed this and people say that a boyfriend using porn is no different than him imagining someone in his head but I strongly disagree. Masturbating to porn is alot worse it is an actual picture but ...
A. 10 May 2012: Pornography is no more cheating than reading a romance novel is cheating. If someone has an addiction, that is indicative of a problem, but its still not cheating.... (read in full...)
I am ashamed of who I am... help please!
Q. Please don’t Judge me or anything I did not come here for that I came for help and for someone to help me open my eyes and see that the world is negative place and not everybody is bad. After all no one has control over their feelings. I don’t k...
A. 26 April 2012: My ancestry is Norwegian and German. I am as white as a white boy can be. My fiancee is Colombian. She is as South American as one could be. We could not be happier. She is opposite of me, which ends of being the perfect complement to me. Its ... (read in full...)
Is it weird/impossible for a twenty year old girl to be just friends with an older man (35 years age difference)?
Q. So, at work. I struck up a friendship with an older man. We talked a lot and appreciated each other's company. Today, we kinda just took the friendship out of work. We exchanged phone numbers and tonight we spoke on the phone for a little bit. We ...
A. 25 April 2012: You are headed to a relationship w him, and the numbers dont work. The rule of thumb is 1/2 the mans age plus seven is the youngest woman he should date. (Dont ask me where this came from, but empirically it seems to always work!). With a 30 year ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had an affair. 20 years of my marriage have been a lie
Q. Hi I need help I have been married 33 years and have just found out that the last 20 years have been a lie. 20 years ago she entered an affair whilst I was serving in the Army we had been married 11 years and have two children. I went to war and ...
A. 25 April 2012: From what you write, there is no trust left, nor does there seem like there ever will be again. No trust = no relationship. Proceed accordingly.... (read in full...)
What are the top reasons for cheating?
Q. hello, thanks for ansewering me... i appreciate all advices. one question. Why girls/woman cheat? What are top reasons? Thank you....
A. 25 April 2012: Why men cheat - sex.
Why women cheat - attention.
There of course specific instances showing otherwise but IMO the two things above represent the vast majority of the cases.... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 25 April 2012: I would never date a woman who has done porn, nor do I know any guy who would, at least not with anything long term in mind. ... (read in full...)
I can get past her cheating, but the cause for it is killing me...
Q. I understand this is a lot to read, but please do not answer if you do not read it. It took me quite a while to write down exactly how I feel and I would really like thoughtful answers. I do not believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater" ...
A. 25 April 2012: If you give her a second chance, you will be on this board again for the very same reason at some point. Not a guess.... (read in full...)
I want to be FWB but he's pulling away!
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for a few months and after I left my most recent bf he wanted to hang out. I was hurt and upset and we had sex. After the first time he was super sweet and text me constantly. We went out for his brithday and had ...
A. 25 April 2012: Im going to give it to you straight. He only wanted sex from you, and you gave it to him. Now that your throwing feelings into the mix, he thinks its simply no longer worth the hassel bc he has effectively zero feelings for you that way. End of ... (read in full...)
Does this marriage make sense?
Q. Hello to all the lovely Cupids out there! So, here is my situation: I'm getting married in October to a guy I love deeply. He lives abroad (2hr plane ride) and neither of us can move for different reasons (don't want to bother you with details,...
A. 25 April 2012: Listen to your father. Marriages are difficult enough when someone is around 24/7. ... (read in full...)
My husband is a control freak and abusive but I love him!
Q. I have been married for two years now. My husband is a very controlling man and extremely domineering. He becomes jelous or angry at me for the most absurd reasons such as me hanging the clothes out to dry when his brother is in the backyard. (his ...
A. 25 April 2012: IMO, stories like this need to be put in another context to bear out the question. I submit to you -
"I have a car. I take very good care of it - I wash it and wax it regularly, and do all of the scheduled maintenance ahead of time. Yet, aft... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I think I love his brother, my ex, as well. And they both love me.
Q. I have a boyfriend that i love very much, and would die for. We've been together for 9 months and been through alot together. U would think we were normal but were not, because he's my ex boyfriends older brother. i left my ex because he messed ...
A. 25 April 2012: This is one of the stranger posts Ive read here. I have four brothers, and I cannot for a moment think of chasing the same girl as them. Would never even occur to me.... (read in full...)
Threesome gone wrong
Q. Hello everyone, I would really love some advice with my problem. You all have done greatly and I can not help but keep coming back here for more... So in advance thank you. Last week my husband and I came about to having a threesome. We both h...
A. 25 April 2012: Threesomes within a relationship always have some type of ending like this. Monogomy exists as a concept in human society for a reason.... (read in full...)
What difference does it make if two people are married or just live together?
Q. Hey! I'm getting married in few months... I'm uber excited of course, but I wonder what difference does it make if two people are married or just live together? We're not religious or anything, but when my bf proposed I of course said yes... it w...
A. 25 April 2012: Feelings wise, probably not all that much save security of the official committement.
Fianancially, they couldnt be more different. Night and day. If you are getting married, you need to consider the business/financial aspect of it, because ... (read in full...)
My g/f sees a man once and week and he pays her bills. Do I believe her that there is nothing sexual?
Q. I got a girlfriend that sees a man once week and he pays her bills. and she says all they do is go out to eat and be his friend, but she swears on her kids life they dont do anything sexual. she says she loves me and i need to stop worrying about ...
A. 12 April 2012: 1 - Yes, there is very likely something in return.
2 - Even if 1 above is untrue, do you really want to be with someone who has shown a willingness to use a man for his money?... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me for anything other than sex. How do I end things gently?
Q. Hi everyone I really need help with this situation I have been sleeping with a man for over a year now I really like him he told me we were just taking things slowly but now I finally aksed him what was going on with us he said it is just sex so I ...
A. 9 April 2012: I think "so long" would work. Or you could equivalently try "see ya," "later," or just plain ol "goodbye."
... (read in full...)
Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?
Q. How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...
A. 9 April 2012: I lost it at a very early age (13.) Didnt have it again till I was almost 17. Since then, havent gone more than a few months without, and dont really want to either...... (read in full...)
My biological clock is ticking, and he just rolls his eyes!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. From the start he knew i wanted marriage and children some day. He also told me he wanted those things. Over time, this has gone to, wanting it, not wanting it, not sure, wanting it. He has also ...
A. 9 April 2012: 1 - You need to know right quick if he wants kids. If no, stop here, move on, and do not bother with #2.
2 - You need to know right quick if he wants to marry you.
Im all for knowing its the right person. If you "dont know" in four years, t... (read in full...)
At 36, what do I need to motivate myself to get out there and date?
Q. Where did I go wrong? I'm a 36 year old man that still lives with his parents who has never had any type of relationship with a woman ever, I have a job that I detest but I'ts the best pay I've ever had so I'm too scared to leave it. I tried to live ...
A. 9 April 2012: With your vehement unwillingness to take charge of your own life in lieu of whining and feeling sorry for yourself, no, no girl will like you.
Whatever dude, its your life, make of it what you wish.... (read in full...)
How do I go about finding a girlfriend?
Q. How do you get a girlfriend? At 36 I feel I really missed out and I dont see anyone coming in the foreseeable future as I still live with my parents and rarely go out. I cannot afford my own place and everyone I know has a girlfriend before sharing ...
A. 4 April 2012: Hey -
You may want to check out this thread....
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/at-36-what-do-i-need-to-motivate.html... (read in full...)
She has destroyed my life with her sexual past that I never knew about.. Just to marry her!!
Q. Ive been married 13 years, have 2 children. my wife has been very good to me all 13 years. but never thought in a 1,000,000 years this would happen to me.. I feel like my marriage was nothing but a fairytale. So this is what...
A. 3 April 2012: I believe the past is a predictor of the future, and IMO you have every right to know the sexual past of someone you are going to marry.
Even if you dont agree with that, she has no right to lie about it. At best, she could have said somethin... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to spank your kids?
Q. My mother thinks im cruel because i spank my two year old. I am not ashamed that i do. I only spank him on the rump when hes doing something he knows he shouldnt do. For instance getting into the trash, taking silverware out of the dishwasher, ...
A. 3 April 2012: I personally think it is wrong NOT to spank your kids. My parents rasied me and my 4 brothers with an iron hand. Now at age 43, I am thankful everyday for the sense of discipline they instilled in me. I see how my coddled friends from my ... (read in full...)
Ended up having sex with another man while at my bachelorette party at Vegas!
Q. ***Before I begin, please don't judge me for what I did, I already know it was wrong, and I feel horrible*** I am enganged at an amazing man who I love very much, our wedding is about a week away. This past weekend my girlfriends and I went to Ve...
A. 3 April 2012: You absolutely have a moral obligation to tell him, for more reasons than I have time or energy to write here, and yes, BEFORE the wedding. He has every right to know. You made your decision, give him the right to make his.
For all the people s... (read in full...)
Not making a "quota" system. How much sex per week?
Q. I'm tired of asking the wife and keep getting turned down for sex. We have sex 1-2 per month, I get a BJ approx. 2 times per month. Again, i am not keeping score. I know EVERYONE is different. But, is that something to complain about?...
A. 3 April 2012: Im 43. My gf is 34. We've been together 5 years, and will be getting married next year. We have sex at least 5-6 times per week. If we dont, there is usually a damn good reason we didnt - eg - one of us is sick, home late from work, etc.
2-4 t... (read in full...)
Stuck in a quandary between my wife and my married mistress
Q. I know that I am going to be judged for posting this, but that's okay. I need guidance. I am almost 39. My wife is going to be 42 this year and is already in menopause. We have no children, mostly because my wife is just not a sexual being....
A. 3 April 2012: Dont start another fire until you've put out the one you're in......both of you.... (read in full...)
At 36, what do I need to motivate myself to get out there and date?
Q. Where did I go wrong? I'm a 36 year old man that still lives with his parents who has never had any type of relationship with a woman ever, I have a job that I detest but I'ts the best pay I've ever had so I'm too scared to leave it. I tried to live ...
A. 3 April 2012: So - you're now claiming you are coming to Dear Cupid in the interest of getting advice on:
1 - Get a better job
2 - Get a big house
3 - Get a girlfriend
Seriously - you're trying to get all of that from a relationship message boa... (read in full...)
At 36, what do I need to motivate myself to get out there and date?
Q. Where did I go wrong? I'm a 36 year old man that still lives with his parents who has never had any type of relationship with a woman ever, I have a job that I detest but I'ts the best pay I've ever had so I'm too scared to leave it. I tried to live ...
A. 30 March 2012: Uh - sorry - more tough love.
Starting your thread with "Where did I go wrong?" just reeks of self pity, so yes, you are whining plain and simple. Sorry that's tough for you to hear, but hear it you must. Whining about no drive. Whining ... (read in full...)
At 36, what do I need to motivate myself to get out there and date?
Q. Where did I go wrong? I'm a 36 year old man that still lives with his parents who has never had any type of relationship with a woman ever, I have a job that I detest but I'ts the best pay I've ever had so I'm too scared to leave it. I tried to live ...
A. 30 March 2012: Ok - sorry, but time for some tough love.
What you need to do is stop whining about your life and get off your ass and take control of it. No one is responsible for your happiness except you. If you are feeling bad about the situation you are ... (read in full...)
She says I suck in bed because my penis is too small and I'm not very good at having sex with her! What can I do to give her the best sex she's ever had?
Q. Hi I have a really big issue with my girl Basically she says I suck in bed that there is only one position that she likes that gives her pleasure but not nearly enough to satisfy her. She thinks it's because my penis is too small and since I lo...
A. 29 March 2012: Honestly - what I would do is turn the tables. "Wow - you're so loose I can hardly even feel you."
Maybe she'll learn something the hard way. Right before I left........ (read in full...)
I like to cook for him but he feels I'm being too motherly! Am I being too pushy?
Q. I like to eat healthy and my bf...not so much. usually he'll buy a huge package of what he thinks is the least-tasty/most healthy lettuce he can find, glares at it for 3 weeks until it liquifies. Meanwhile, when i visit, i make hearts with my eyes ...
A. 29 March 2012: Any guy who doesnt appreciate his woman trying to take care of him doesnt deserve his woman........ (read in full...)
Looks don't matter, or, are men really this shallow?
Q. Well, I know that people always say that looks don't matter to guys, or that they're not the most important thing, but are they just being polite? 'Cause I read an article and it really made me lose a bit of hope in men... http://livingw...
A. 29 March 2012: Yes. Looks dont matter to men. Also, security doesnt matter to women. Also, politicians always tell the truth....... (read in full...)
How attracted are you to your significant other?
Q. How attracted are you to your partner? The reason I ask this is because I can never find the right person for me. I've found girls I am attracted to but they seem to be disgusted by me. I've found girls that are attracted to me but they don't turn ...
A. 28 March 2012: When I first met my fiancee, I wanted to gain carnal knowledge of her right there in the restuarant! She showed up as the cousin of a co-worker at the time. As soon as I met her I couldnt get the perverted thoughts out of my head. I recall her ... (read in full...)
RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY: I am on the verge of divorce due to this irrational OCD
Q. Once again, my retroactive jealousy/OCD has overtaken me and I am on the brink of separation from my wife of 14 years(i can't blame her she has had enough abuse! She is fed up and repulsed by me talking about the past- Over n over n over etc..which ...
A. 28 March 2012: I can sympathize with your problem - I have suffered many of the same thoughts you have. What I can tell you - 1) You are not alone. Before the internet, I thought I was the only psycho in the world with this crap. There are many who experie... (read in full...)
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