A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:I wanted to get everyone's opinion on a topic- I was in an abusive relationship for about five years until I left and was brave enough to know that was not acceptable. I since have moved on have tried to date other people but i haven't forgotten this guy i used to work with .. Two years ago I started a job in sales and fell in love with my coworker I could tell we had a connection and that he was attracted but I couldn't say anything.. I got let go of that job because I was not good in sales ( he didn't fire me) and was too mad at getting fired to even talk to him because it would have been awkward but I still liked him.. I tried to date ppl and have no problems getting dates and guys approaching me but I still go back to him.. I just saw recently that he had a gf via social media and I actually ran into him by accident at a restaurant after a year and a half as I was mentioning to my sister about how I should forget about him.. My question is for anyone out there of something is meant to be will it be? Ever since I got fired from that job I never spoke to him but for some reason I can't find the same feeling I had with him with anyone ... I know when I ran into Him again he got up from his seat to see if it was me and when he looked directly at my eyes my heart sank... Don't get me wrong I have a problem getting guys I work hard on my appearance but I never feel like I connect with them and don't get the butterflies I had with him.... If its meant to be will it be? Why is it that I can't forget him I've tried to date and nothing comes out of it and running into him after a year just made me think about life and circumstances.... Sometimes I wanted to reach out to him but I always think if its meant maybe we will meet again? Right ??? I don't want to push anything I just sometimes wonder and always wonder back to him- has anyone felt this way
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 July 2013):
 I think most people have felt like that about someone at some point in their lives, it's part of being human...to connect with someone special, but it is no gurantee that things will ever work out.
It's hard to stay realistic when we feel like this, especially if the person is no longer in our lives on a regular basis. Women are experts at filling in the romantic gaps, where there is no 'real' experience to rely on and this can lead to longing for someone we think we know, but really do not.
It's almost impossible to tell what he thinks. When he saw you in that restaurant, he may have just been pleased to see someone he once worked and had a bit of a flirt with, but it's hard to say if he felt more.
I don't think there is anything you can do. He has a girlfriend and so it would be inappropriate to contact him.
Maybe try to detatch yourself from the feelings you have for him and try and be a little more realistic about what is really happening in your life.
Never say never, but never put your life on hold for a 'what might be'
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (19 July 2013):
 In my opinion, you are deluding yourself that you "... have moved on...." .... since your submittal, beyond that, describes a woman who hasn't, really, "moved on" at all.....
Consider... the opposite of LOVE is NOT "hate"... it's "indifference"...... ONLY when this guy is out of your mind... and you are totally INDIFFERENT to him (i.e. YOU DON'T GIVE A DARN ABOUT HIM, WHERE HE IS, WHAT HE'S DOING, WHO HE'S DOING IT WITH, WHY HE'S DOING IT... ) will you REALLY have "moved on."
So.... brush up your "indifference" skills.... reconsider your position/condition.... and decide if your want to "move on" after all...
Good luck...
...............................
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