A
female
age
51-59,
*iao
writes:I love my husband of 10 years but for the past 6 months he has become totally disconnected from me. I am 47 and my husband is 49. We have no children. My 85 year old mom lives with us in a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apt.We haven't had sex in 6 months and I am hurt that he doesn't desire me anymore. He doesn't even touch me while in the bed. We don't talk about the relationship unless I initiate the conversation. He talks about what's going on with his family and friends, but never about our relationship. On weekdays He used to call me (when I'm at work) to see how my day was going -he doesn't call anymore. When he leaves the house in the morning, I don't see or hear from him again until we're both home from work in the evening.He doesn't make suggestions to go on date nights or for us to do any activities together. If we go out, I am the one who initiates it - then if he goes, he sits there quietly without talking, clearly not interested. I am always upset with myself after returning home from our outing - I ask myself why do I even bother. He refuses to go anywhere with me if I'm taking my mom. I feel like I'm living a life with my mom and not with a husband.The situation is depressing me - I have discussed it with him on several occasions. He is contented with the relationship, however because I have expressed dissatisfaction, he mentioned that he would try to do things differently, however nothing has changed. I am frustrated and feel very unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. If feel like I'm being tolerated, not celebrated. I don't know how to handle the situation. Please advise.
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female
reader, Ciao +, writes (21 July 2013):
Ciao is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses - Intrigued3000 and Sageoldguy1465. I really appreciate the feedback.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (20 July 2013):
 Try couples counselling to figure out why he is distant from you. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to come up with answers, which could range from having an affair to having no privacy with your mom around. You really don't know what's going on in his head. Men tend to retreat when something is bothering them. A mediator / counselor would be able to help.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 July 2013):
 "Sounds" to me like he's left your marriage in every way possible... EXCEPT he hasn't left the premises.....
YOU have to decide if THIS is what a "marriage" is...
If you think "Yes, it is..." then gird yourself for 10 more years of the same.... (At which time you'll probably have, finally, decided that there is no future in it, and will leave).... or,
If you think "no".... then you will part ways with him now, and avoid the grief and angst that you will, predictably, endure if you choose "yes" from above...
Good luck...
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