B/f helps support me financially but says he doesn't want me with him. What does that say about our future?
Q. I have been with my guy for 7 years he is in Canada for the year. I was living with my step father while I was preparing for my masters degree in occupational therapy and he kicked me out due to the fact I lost my job with the economy. I'm in a ...
A. 1 June 2012: I find it interesting that you refer to "my guy"... as if there really is some sort of "relationship" going on between the two of you........
For SEVEN years, you've persevered, in the belief that you and he have/had a "relatio... (read in full...)
I don't want a FWB relationship with the father of my 2 children. How do I make him understand?
Q. Is it worth trying again. I split up with the father of my 2 children several months ago. He left as I asked him to. There were commitment issues. He didn't.want to be tied down by us. Our relationship had become.stale and we were rarely intimate. ...
A. 31 May 2012: YOU have NO OBLIGATION to "get him to understand." You need only delineate for him just how you feel, and how you will handle matters relative to him and your (joint) kids... (AND, that you will NOT take part in a "FWB" arrangement)....and leave ... (read in full...)
In 11 months we've never asked where the relationship is going
Q. I am a 34 year old woman, and I have been in a relationship with a guy for the last 11 months. We do like each other's company, we like to go out and enjoy ourselves too. Our sex life is pretty good too. However, although it's been nearly a year ...
A. 31 May 2012: Guys don't talk about such things as "where this relationship is leading us."... because that would be sort of like talking about FEELINGS.... and we don't do that...
IF you'd like to strike up a discussion about this topic, then YOU need to sit y... (read in full...)
Was it such a big deal that I lied to my b/f's mom about a job interview?
Q. Hello. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. Just recently I was supposed to go to an interview for a retail department store, but I cancelled it because I was too lazy.. : Anyways my boyfriend's mom asked me how it went and...
A. 31 May 2012: I would give you a "pass" for the SPECIFIC lie that you told (to your B/F's Mom, about THAT interview).... but would NOT give you a pass for:
1. Being so cavalier about lying, in-general, and,
2. Being lazy... knowing and admitting it... AND us... (read in full...)
How do you clear up a rumor?
Q. My friends always spread rumors about me, and tried to ruin my reputation.. made fake facebook accounts of me, and did everything they could. And it worked, now I am in grade 9, and the people in my gym class had spread a rumor that me and my frie...
A. 31 May 2012: Some "friends".....
The easiest way to kill a rumor is to ignore it......... (read in full...)
He already has a girlfriend of a year and has been married twice
Q. A man recently added me on Facebook through a good mutual friend. First we just made friendly conversation and such, then he asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee. I agreed. We got along really well. He already has a girlfriend of a year and has ...
A. 31 May 2012: May I comment on your re-post?
You finish with: "I am taking a step back for now. "
May I suggest that you edit that to read: "I am taking a step back FOREVER."??? That will serve you much better in the long run....
Good luck...... (read in full...)
I want him to realize how bad his current relationship is, if nothing else!
Q. Ok. So when I was about 13, I met a guy. I thought he was around my age...but as it turned out he was 22. So, I didn't think of him in that fashion. BUT he was still a cool guy, so I continued to hang out with him. He quickly became the best friend ...
A. 31 May 2012: When you write: "I want him to realize how bad his current relationship is, if nothing else."... then you must admit that you are seeking validation for dabbling in HIS life...
Dabbling in other peoples' lives is rarely - if ever - useful or benef... (read in full...)
Looking at live people online having sex is wrong, but seeing naked girls dance and grind on men is ok?
Q. Ok, So I was on here yesterday and saw a question about a girl who's boyfriend was looking at online porn chat shows. Almost everyone replied and said that he was wrong and that isn't appropriate in a relationship; that he was taking it a step too ...
A. 31 May 2012: pep: Regardless of what Aunts and Uncles say on this site... YOUR feelings and beliefs about these activities are YOUR'S and your's alone.... so the feelings and beliefs of "others" are of no importance.....
P.S. I think both are pretty s... (read in full...)
Is a marriage between two alcoholics more likely to survive?
Q. Can a marriage survive if both husband and wife are alcoholics. I continue to read that chances of a marriage to a substance abuser of any kind most likely will not last but, if both of them are alcoholics that possess the same characteristics, ...
A. 30 May 2012: Remember when you were a kid and said to your parents, "But MOM, DAD... everybody's going or doing it or whatever...." and they said, "If everybody jumped off a high bridge would you want to do that????"
This question reminds me of that. To wit:... (read in full...)
Does my university lecturer see me as a daughter, or is there more to it?
Q. There's a uni lecturer at university, he treat's me different to all the other students. We are both asian so possible he see's me as a daughter but i'm not sure. i am about to finish university in 1month, he is 45. We do have a good work...
A. 30 May 2012: OK.... on that... but I stand by my last sentence....... (read in full...)
I'm tired of choosing the wrong men!
Q. meet this man on a dateing site we hit it off good had 3 date ,then he im me to say his sons did not want him to date an so he ended it . but i ask him at first was he ready to moved on an he said yes an also said his sons wanted him to find someone ...
A. 30 May 2012: I'm "saying"... make and be FRIENDS with the men you get to date.... and let "romance" and "involvement" come later........ (read in full...)
Did I do everything right? The person I asked for help isn't too happy with me!
Q. Hi. I have a bit of a long story to tell. 2 weeks ago, I invited a friend of mine to help out at an Open House. During the entire week, he asks what I needed help with. I told him I didn't know. And, the day just before the Open House, he g...
A. 30 May 2012: Here's his likely point of view:
YOU were in control of an event (the Open House) and asked him to assist. Even up to the moment of that event, you didn't tell him what you expected him to do. HOW does he handle that????? Did you even tell him... (read in full...)
Does my university lecturer see me as a daughter, or is there more to it?
Q. There's a uni lecturer at university, he treat's me different to all the other students. We are both asian so possible he see's me as a daughter but i'm not sure. i am about to finish university in 1month, he is 45. We do have a good work...
A. 30 May 2012: Relative to your last paragraph.....
I'm guessing that he had one of those other "catches" in his office - hence, he didn't open the door wide - and you arrived unannounced and interrupted something that you really don't want to know about...... (read in full...)
I'm tired of choosing the wrong men!
Q. meet this man on a dateing site we hit it off good had 3 date ,then he im me to say his sons did not want him to date an so he ended it . but i ask him at first was he ready to moved on an he said yes an also said his sons wanted him to find someone ...
A. 30 May 2012: IF you are focused on "being involved" then your whole demeanor is compromised in a way that is off-putting to guys. IF/when we detect that, we say to ourselves, "Cripes, this one is looking to own a guy, and I'm HIM!!!".... and our reaction is to ... (read in full...)
Younger colleague who has a girlfriend asked me to a football game and wants me to meet his family! What is he doing?
Q. I am friends with a much younger man at work we have never dated i heard he has a girlfriend. he asked me to a football game 5 months from now and wants me to meet his family what does it mean? what is he doing? ...
A. 30 May 2012: Some young guys are most anxious to show off an "older woman" (read: a cougar) who they've snared.... This one may be such a guy.
IF that's so... then he wants to be SURE to "have his oar in the water" early, as regards asking you to be avail... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset with my boyfriend for masturbating 3 times a week when we only have sex once or twice a week?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to masterbate 3 times a week even tho he has a girlfriend? And say your having sex once maybe twice a week. Does the girlfriend have a right to upset with him? ...
A. 30 May 2012: I suggest that you re-consider your question, posed in the opposite form. That is: "My B/F and I have sex, maybe, twice a week. When I am alone, I sometimes masturbate... sometimes as much as 3 times a week..... Is there anything "wrong" with ... (read in full...)
Is she interested and attracted to me?
Q. Hello, I am writing this letter to seek your valuable advise. There is this woman working in the same building as me but in a different office. When she joined her office, she was introduced to me by the HR who is common to both of us. It has be...
A. 29 May 2012: I'd say the only way she could more-flagrantly "tell" you that she's interested, would be if she hired a hot-air balloon to land outside your building with a HUGE neon sign on it that said: "Hey samirgupta, want to see what I look like naked???? ... (read in full...)
What can I do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, loving, affectionate relationship back to life?
Q. I am twenty seven and have been with a man 22yrs my senior for three years, i feel like i'm no longer what he desires or is interested in.. We dont conversate and our sex life has nearly stopped. What can i do to bring our once vibrant funfilled, ...
A. 29 May 2012: Is he still seeing his wife sometimes/most of the time????... (read in full...)
My husband's adult son's treat him terribly, I don't know how much more of this I can put up with!
Q. My husband's two adult sons treat him horrible. They're spoiled and abusive. For years I've made excuses for them because their mother committed suicide the year before I met him. I feel like I've helped them work through some of their grief but ...
A. 29 May 2012: This really is your Hubby's problem... and there's only so much you can do to "support" him in it....
His kids are his kids, and if he lets them tread on him, then that, too, is his problem (only... NOT your's!!!)...
You can be a good and suppo... (read in full...)
Why do I feel guilty about moving on from my abusive ex?
Q. I will give you guys a back drop story first. i was in a relationship for about 1.5 years. This was my first intense romantic relationship. i loved this girl (i am a lesbian) with everything. no inhibitions nothing to stop me. As time passed, we ...
A. 29 May 2012: I didn't bother with the middle of your submittal, because your questions are all one needs to "reply" to you....
Answer: An abusive relationship often/usually results in the ABUSED (YOU!!!!) questioning their self-worth.... and that question... (read in full...)
Confused by this guy's behaviour, especially in the bedroom. Does he not fancy me? Why is he saying these things?
Q. I have been seeing this guy who does not live in my country. We have had dinner dates and I like to take my time to get to know someone and build a relationship before I go to bed. Anyway when I did go to bed with him, we did not have condom so I...
A. 29 May 2012: What he has, effectively, "told" you is that you are HOT and that he likes to have s*x with you.....
Beyond that, you're submittal offers no other information about what this guy thinks.....
You MIGHT find it interesting to speak to him abo... (read in full...)
We say 'I love you' to each other, but I've never told her I'm 'in love' with her. Should I tell her? Will this ruin things?
Q. is it better to tell a significant other that you are 'in love' with them? Should i say this to my gf or is this best advised not to? I ask because i am in love with her, however we just say ' i love u', we have been together aprox 1 year, but im ...
A. 29 May 2012: You're spending 'way too much of your time and mental energy on a subject that really doesn't matter........ (read in full...)
How long is great sex?
Q. how long should be great sex? thank you...
A. 29 May 2012: I suspect that my brother and Sister-in-law have been having great s*x for almost 50 years now........ (read in full...)
Friends with benefits or something more?
Q. About a month ago I went out with friends after work and ended up hitting it off with a coworker. We went back to his place and had a few too many and one thing led to another. We talked about it the next morning when we woke up and he said he ...
A. 29 May 2012: EVERY GUY covets a "Friend with benefits" situation, if he can arrange it.....
For a guy, it means that he NEVER has to actually expose any of his emotions.... but can STILL get his "Mr Happy" to feel good when he wants.....
Women are too... (read in full...)
Guys, do you like it when your significant other makes noises in bed?
Q. I guess this is a question mostly for men, but female input would be appreciated too, especially what your partners think. Basically - guys, do you like it when your significant other makes noises in bed? I'm not talking porn star scale, but when...
A. 29 May 2012: Like most of the others....I'm all for it... UNLESS the noises she makes are something like: "Get away from me you DOG!!!!!!".... or, "I think you'd better leave.... NO, through the WINDOW..... because that sounds like my husband's car in the ... (read in full...)
Am I right to be jealous of my wife's new 'guy friend'? It goes so far that she even does his laundry!
Q. So, my wife and I have been married 12 yrs, and have always been admired for our relationship. About 6 months ago she started sharing her office with a single man, who quickly turned into her "guy friend". Since then, she's spent a lot of time ...
A. 29 May 2012: Perhaps you should have "drawn the line" sometime back...
But, now you're where you are... so draw it (the line) NOW!!!!!
What you described in your submittal/question is NOT a "healthy" arrangement between two people (of opposite sex) wh... (read in full...)
We both want to get married one day, but I'm worried that if I move in with him he will become too comfortable and never marry me!
Q. Hi everyone, So I have this question about marriage. I have been with my bf for 2 years. We love each other and get along pretty well. We decided we wanted to move in together and are actively looking for a place together. It is all extremely ex...
A. 29 May 2012: I'm not "conservative"... but/and I, ALSO, think it is stupid for a single woman to "move in with" a single man prior to marriage.
Why? Because doing so (the "move in") gives HIM all the power in the "relationship" which does or will exist be... (read in full...)
I really like two women. One is available. The other isn't ready for a relationship right now. What do I do?
Q. I need some help! I am a single male. I was divorced ten years ago. I got out of a long term relationship two years ago. I have had time on my own and I am ready to date again. This is my problem. I have two lady friends. Both are attractive a...
A. 29 May 2012: WHY do you have to "do" anything??????? Stay in touch with these two women.... be a good friend to both of them... AND if romance happens to get sparked between you and one, or the other, then go with it???? YOU don't need a road-map from us... ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife is creeping back into his life despite living with her boyfriend and he wont divorce her....
Q. I wrote a couple months back...and need advice. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months. He is still married...he has been seperate from his wife for 2 and a half years...she has been living with her boyfriend for 2 and a half years... Me and ...
A. 29 May 2012: YOU, Lucky Lady, are being the fool in this charade. How long will you deceive yourself in to believing that there is ANYTHING in this for you????????... (read in full...)
Why is he commenting on how I don't stay over as much as he would like, when my life has always been this way?
Q. Had a good weekend with my boyfriend of 5 months but a couple of things he said has played on my mind. We are both in our 40s, I have a teenage child, he has no children. My home life is a little more chaotic than his and his mum still does his...
A. 28 May 2012: You ask: "Why is he commenting about these things now when he knew how my life was?..."
Answer: Because he's an immature, self-centered little booy who thinks that his "Mommy" - either his real one, or YOU - are to be there to wait on him for ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I apologized for making him angry
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a month or two. He was texting me some weird poetry. All I said was I hope you aren't faking it/ getting it from a book. As he's never said these things face to face to me. Then he cracked it and said its over. I ...
A. 28 May 2012: You write: "What should I do now?"
I write: Let him go/ dump him.... there's no future with him.....
Good luck....... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem teachable. Should I just fake it and take care of myself?
Q. Last night my bf and i were talking and i told him that we need to incorporate more foreplay in our love making. More blowjobs, touching, stimulation, etc. He told me he noticed how i wasnt as into sex and i told him it was because i am usually not ...
A. 28 May 2012: IF your B/F is sufficiently disinterested in YOUR satisfaction, during intimate times, that YOU come away feeling empty, THEN your "relationship" is destined to go nowhere......
Most men are notorious for not wishing to partake of foreplay... (read in full...)
Was he a jerk or do we just have very different personalities?
Q. Hello everyone, recently I had this really painful interaction with this guy and I just cannot make head or tail with it: I knew him since around a year, he asked me to go out a few times, but it was really never clear if on a real date or not, we ...
A. 28 May 2012: Be aware that "men" play these fool games... AND thrive, largely, upon women who are willing to participate in those games.....
There's nothing that you have done or can do to prevent "those men" from playing.... BUT, you don't have to take par... (read in full...)
He may have children he doesn't know about and I am hurting, what do I do?
Q. I was really upset yesterday, as my boyfriend told me that he might have children that he doesn't know about. He is much older than i am, so he has had more of a past than i have had. He had flings with a few women from other countries when he was ...
A. 28 May 2012: I think a man who carelessly casts about his sperm is really "telling" you a great deal about him.... and not much of it is good....
Think of it... this man seems to have no compunction about having unprotected sex with women who - apparent... (read in full...)
Should my husband speak to his sister if she does not like his wife & kids
Q. Is it ok to ask my husband to not speak to his sister because she does like or want a relationship with our five kids together? Our five kids range in ages 3~11,all girls,she lives in England we live in the states but he goes back to visit his dad ...
A. 28 May 2012: The "issue" - as you describe things - is NOT your hubby's family... it is between YOU and HUBBY....
IF he chooses not to stand up to his family and make it clear to them that you and he are a married couple.... and HE expects them to treat YO... (read in full...)
My wife wants to have sex with other men. I think she wants to hurt me because I had relationships before I met her
Q. I've been married for 17 years and the sex is great my wife was a virgin and I was her first. But I on the other hand have had 5 sexual relationships. I only told her about that 7 years ago I tried to before but could see that she didn't whan't to ...
A. 28 May 2012: I think you and she should "clear the slate" and discuss the REAL issue here: that your wife wants to have extra-marital sex....
WHY (she wants that) is really of no importance.... YOU can either agree that that's OK with you... OR, you can ... (read in full...)
Partner doesn't think of me during masturbation
Q. Hi, this question is for women and men, would it bother you if your partner only thought about you briefly or sometimes not at all during masturbation at the start of a relationship? For some reason it bothers me, I would wonder why they hardly ...
A. 28 May 2012: I'm most curious to learn how YOU know what your PARTNER is thinking about when he/she masturbates.......
After all, if you say "Well, he/she told me so...." that's 'way too vague, since he/she could be thinking about ANYTHING whilest masturba... (read in full...)
Was he a jerk or do we just have very different personalities?
Q. Hello everyone, recently I had this really painful interaction with this guy and I just cannot make head or tail with it: I knew him since around a year, he asked me to go out a few times, but it was really never clear if on a real date or not, we ...
A. 28 May 2012: After about 5 minutes with this guy, you were being played... and he got to continue for about a year....
YOU are smarter now, and "see" him for the dog that he is... so what's to worry about? Simply don't spend any more time or attentio... (read in full...)
Can friends with benefits work ?
Q. Can Friends with benefits with an ex work ? Me and my ex started seeing each other last november. We did alot for the 2 months we was together. Met his family his friends he met mine. We all got along. He suffered with migraines and had ...
A. 28 May 2012: Friends with benefits CAN "work".... the question is, How is it working for YOU??????
From the myriad posts on this site, by those who've partaken of "FWB" it appears that many/most FWB arrangements end up with one of the participants becoming... (read in full...)
What does fantasy mean in the porn world?
Q. I have some difficulty understanding the whole porn and fantasy thing, when men view porn does the fantasy thing mean they just enjoy watching sexual acts being done to other attractive people? I always thought it meant they pick the videos with the ...
A. 28 May 2012: To me, this question is the equivalent of asking "How high is "up?"
What motivates people to partake of pornography is a personal choice.... and is little different from what motivates some people to watch "Dancing with the Stars" whilest other pe... (read in full...)
Should Pre-marital sex be avoided?
Q. What do you think of a culture which doesn't support pre-marital sex? I am from India. Here pre-marital sex is frowned upon. My first sexual experience was with my wife at the age of 32. Don't you think I lost some of the precious moments of life?...
A. 28 May 2012: I always disdain when I hear someone ask for a vote on the CULTURAL aspect of some PERSONAL issue.... MOREOVER, (relative to your question) WHO is taking part in premarital sex? .... YOU, or "the culture" Do you see my point... It (premarital ... (read in full...)
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