A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A man recently added me on Facebook through a good mutual friend. First we just made friendly conversation and such, then he asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee. I agreed. We got along really well. He already has a girlfriend of a year and has been married twice (he's 45, I'm 25 and we both have two children). Since then the conversation has taken a different turn and we've gotten close. But am terrified of being hurt and thus refused to meet him again, making my excuses. One minute he says he wants something quite intimate, the next that we'll have to remain friends for now. He has no qualms about exchanging explicit texts. He has this week removed all photos of his gf from Facebook, and says he has split with her and she has taken it badly. I have never instigated the intimate texts but now I am left confused over what he wants (he says clearly he wants to be with me then in the next breath that we should stay friends).. Am I setting myself up for heartache here or is there any chance of this working? He said he didn't want to get hurt either when I said all this to him but part of me thinks he may just like having a bit of fun. Help!!
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male
reader, doublejack  +, writes (1 June 2012):
He's too old for you, he likely has commitment issues - meaning he is willing to commit prematurely when the relationship isn't really healthy, and he uses Facebook as a pseudo-dating site. All of that is bad news.
Time to distance yourself. This isn't the kind of person you even want as a friend.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 June 2012):
 RUN FOREST RUN!
Honey he's all fun and games and no stability...
I'd not step back towards him in any way shape or form...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 May 2012):
 He sounds slick and kinda nasty.
I would NOT date, sext, text or hang out with this guy. The fact that he "hunts" through his friends FB is really creepy too.
I wouldn't trust him any further then I can throw him.
He want to BE with you even though he BARELY know you. Seems to me that he isn't really capable of holding on to relationships, but bounces from one to the next which ever way the wind blows. Or whatever girl he can "talk" into dating him.
Specially because you are a single mom, I think you should pass this guy up and look for someone more stable. Now if you were just looking for a roll in the hay he might do, but once there are children involved, I think you need to take extra care who you date and who you eventually will bring around your kids.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (31 May 2012):
 May I comment on your re-post?
You finish with: "I am taking a step back for now. "
May I suggest that you edit that to read: "I am taking a step back FOREVER."??? That will serve you much better in the long run....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): Personally I wouldn't trust him. He could do exactly the same to you as he has just done to his girlfriend and has possibly done to others in the past.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks both of you! That confirms what I was thinking and it the reason I hadn't arranged to see him again. I told him all this this morning and his reply was that he really liked me but the situation was complicated and he felt bad about his gf. Thus wanted us remain as friends until that situation was resolved. I am taking a step back for now.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 May 2012):
 Bit of fun. You are exchanging intimate, explicit texts after having met ONCE for coffee. Meeting that happened behind his gf's back, and this should tell you how reliable this guy is.
He may ( or may not ) have split from his ex, but still he is careful to limit your interaction to the exchange of explicit messages, while not taking any step for actually dating you, and actually getting his butt away from the PC screen and coming to drink another coffee , or take you to dinner.
Yes, it definitely sounds like a bit of fun.
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